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Yamenikuta, maji yapo shingoni, naomba ushauri wapendwa plse!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Lumecha orijino, Apr 4, 2011.

  1. L

    Lumecha orijino Member

    #1
    Apr 4, 2011
    Joined: Apr 3, 2011
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    Wapendwa wana JF, mie ni mgeni na hii ni post yangu ya kwanza. Naomba msaada wenu wa mawazo ili ni-epuke hii adha ninayoipata.

    Ni hivi wapendwa: Nilikuwa na girl friend wangu toka 2007 but tuliishi wote kwa makubaliano bila kufunga ndoa hadi mwaka jana mwezi wa 8, ndipo nikaona ni vema sasa tufunge ndoa. Lakin kilichochelewesha ni kuwa alikuwa anasoma chuo na sasa ni mwalimu wa sekondari.

    Kifupi sijakaa naye saana coz 2008 nilenda nje ya nchi na nitarudi kusetle home mwakani, tatizo ni kuwa mke wangu hawapendi ndugu zangu hata mmoja,sisi tupo sita na mimi ni wa pili lkn hawapendi ndugu zangu: sio wifi zake wala shemeji zake. Kuhusu wazazi hapo ndo usiseme, nikienda nje ya nchi haendi kusalimia hadi mie nirudi na hata kuwapigia simu. Wazazi wangu kwangu hawafiki hadi mie niwepo bila hivyo hawafiki.

    Nilijaribu kuongea naye mara kadhaa amekuwa mkali sana na hata amediriki kunijibu kuwa hanilazimishi kuishi na yeye. Lakini nahis anajibu kwa jeuri coz anajua tukiachana lazima tugawane mali: kama vile nyumba +usafiri n.k lakini hivyo vyote ni jasho langu la kupiga boxi ugaibuni.

    Yeye sijazaa naye hata mtoto 1, lkn mie ninae alimkuta but hampendi na hataki nikae naye, mtoto wangu yupo kwa wazazi wangu kijijini. kwa kweli inaniuma saana. Kuhusu kuzaa yeye yaonyesha hadi afanyiwe operation, & it needs some millions of money hapo labda ndo atashika mimba (kulingana na vipimo vya hosp. moja kubwa ya hapa ya wahindi hapa DSM).

    NB: 1. Nifanye nini ili mke wangu ajirekebishe tabia yake?
    2. Japokuwa nampenda lkn wazazi wangu nao naona ni muhimu ktk maisha yangu,sasa nifanyeje ili naye awapende kama ninavyowapenda wazazi wake na ndugu zake?
    3. Nikisema nimuache atataka tugawane MALI, wakati lile ni jasho langu la kupiga boxi, je nifanye nini?

    Wapendwa samahani kwa maelezo marefu lakini naomba ushauri wenu na naomba msinitukane wapendwa, maji yamenifika shingoni. Sina nyumba ndogo na wala sina hamu tena ya kuoa, kweli najuta saaana tena saana kuoa!
     
  2. n

    nyambura Member

    #2
    Apr 4, 2011
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    dah pole wangu
    ebu mtume mshenga akazungumze nae kwa kireeeeeeeeeeeeefu na kumshauri nini cha kufanya katika kuendeleza ndoa yenu

    sasa km awapend ata wazaz wako sasa atampenda nan jaman?
    ata mtoto wako?
    eLA ZA matumizi unamtumia ?

    dah muwege makin mkikurupuka kuoa ndo mnabambana na ma DELILA km ivi


    mwambie aelewe jins unavyokwazika na natabia zake...akikujbu ujinga bas ujue anacho kinachomtia jeuri...pole sana
     
  3. NATA

    NATA JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Apr 4, 2011
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    Acha kumind mali, angalia maisha yako yanakwendaje?
    Mali utaziacha duniani,
    Angalia wewe unataka kuishi maisha ya aina gani kwa furaha.
     
  4. Dr wa ukweli

    Dr wa ukweli JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Apr 4, 2011
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    mchunguze pengine kuna mtu anampiga mashine, anakutafutia sababu muachane mgawane mali kwanza kabila gani huyo kuna makabila bwana wao ni mali mbele mapenzi ni nyongeza tu........ ikishindikana kabisa bora muachane hata kama ni kugawana mali sawa utapata nyingine, bora kuishi masikini uwe na amani kuliko tajiri usiyepata usingizi na karaha kibao.
     
  5. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Apr 4, 2011
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    Mmefunga ndoa miezi saba iliyopita,uhusiano wake na ndugu zako kabla ulikuwaje?hao ndugu zako nao huwa wanamtembelea na kumpigia simu?manake usikute nao wanaumonesha kuwa hawampendi ndo maana anajikalia kimya nae.Issue yako ni kuwa unataka kumuacha kwa sababu hawapigii wala kuwatembelea ndugu zako?ama vile hataki mkae na mtoto wako?
    achana na issue ya mali kwanza,hayo ni matokeo.
     
  6. n

    nyambura Member

    #6
    Apr 4, 2011
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    yep kweli dzain anataka kuchomoka lakin anashndwa cz anaogopa watagawana mali...wat do u wan braza?

    in life kuna vtu viwil MALI NA FURAHA

    if ur looking for hapness bas go ahead n do the nidful na km mali utazpata tu .sa kuna raha gan kukaa na mtu anayekukera daily?

    km wewe na mali ni damu damu bas endelea kuish na mkeo uku unalia daily ....cz uo ni mzigo na wala hakupend dzain angekupenda japo angewapenda na kuwajali ata kwa kuwapgia cm tu wazaz wako na ivi yeye hana mtoto basi asingesita kuish na mtoto wako ...

    pole
     
  7. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Apr 4, 2011
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    Yani hayo yote ya kutompenda mtoto wako au ndugu zako ndo umeyajua leo au ulikua unayajua tangu mwanzo ukajifanya kichwa ngumu na kumuoa hivyo hivyo????Ukishajibu ushauri utatoka kuendana na tatizo lako!
     
  8. L

    Lumecha orijino Member

    #8
    Apr 4, 2011
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    Asante sana kwa ushauri wako mkuu, ki-ukweli nateseka sana!
     
  9. L

    Lumecha orijino Member

    #9
    Apr 4, 2011
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    Ni hivi Dada Lizzy,

    Hayo hayakuwepo hapo mwanzo, imagine hata mtoto wangu aliishi nami pamoja na yeye na kuanza shule hapa mjini hadi darasa la 3 lkn mwaka huu mie narudi field ananiambia mtoto nimempeleka kijijini coz jeuri nataka akajifunze tabia huko rural. Nina mdogo wangu wa mwisho namsomesha na yupo day school, hawaongei hata akimwamkia hajibu hapo mimi nipo je nikiondoka inakuwaje mpendwa? Yaani baada ya ndoa tu tabia imebadilika sana, na sasa ndo ameajiriwa akitoka asubuhi kurudi jioni akifika tu kulala kisa amechoka, mie ndo niingie jikoni au huyo mdogo wangu. Da lizzy nipe ushauri plse
     
  10. Freema Agyeman

    Freema Agyeman JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Apr 4, 2011
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    Ndugu Lumecha

    wachunguze hao ndugu zako, watakuwa wana tatizo ndio maana mkeo anawachukia. Labda wanamsimanga na kumpiga majungu kwa vile hajapata mtoto na wewe.

    Ndugu wa baadhi ya wanaume wamekuwa wakiwafanyia visa wake za ndugu zao kwa sababu nyingi ikiwapo kuwa na tofauti ya makabila, life style, kukosa watoto, mali etc.

    Kama mwanaume usipotumia busara na uchunguzi usiokuwa biased, unaweza vunja ndoa yako.

    Usizungumze na kila upande kivyake, usitumie mshenga, babu, bibi au mjomba. Subiri hadi utakaporudi myazungumze kwa pamoja, mke na nduguzo.
     
  11. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

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    Changa la macho hilo mkuu mpotezee haraka gawana tu mali kama vp unajua huwezi vuna usichopanda hivyo hata mkigawana lazima vitapukutika tu maana hakuvichuma yeye " huyo hafai hata kuitwa mke"
     
  12. s

    sawabho JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Apr 4, 2011
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    Mali ikipotea hutafutwa na kupatikana tena. Lakini kwa mila za Kiafrika, hususani (Tanzania) wazazi, ndugu na jamaa ni muhimu sana. Acha kabisa Bwana, labda kama ingekuwa ni ndugu wengine, yaania hata wazazi. NANI KAMA MZAZI? Sasa wewe pima uone, je ndugu wakikutenga kutakuwa na tatizo? Labda kama ungekuwa Mzungu. Yaani ukubali Mama yako akae huko kijijini bila kuja kukusalimia hata siku moja.
     
  13. L

    Lumecha orijino Member

    #13
    Apr 4, 2011
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    Alikuwa na mahusiano mazuri tu na wala hakuwa na shida. Ndio maana niliona mke mwema na ndugu wanampenda but now mambo yamekuwa tofauti sana. Sasa sijui kwa sababu ya ndoa au kosa nililofanya la kumsomesha hadi amepata kazi na sasa labda ndio inayompa kiburi! maana simuelewi kabisaaaaa
     
  14. Freema Agyeman

    Freema Agyeman JF-Expert Member

    #14
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    Labda uliwaringishia ndugu zako kuwa mke wangu nimemsomesha mwenyewe, ni mwema sana, atawasaidia. Ukawapa expectations za uu kuliko mkeo alivyoweza kuwatimilizia, wakaanza kumchukia na kumfanyia visa. Na yeye anajiona ni mke na anastahili heshima kutoka kwao pia. Lugha au vitendo vikagongana.

    Waambie nduguzo kuwa huyo ni mkeo, ni familia yako na anastahili heshima kama wanayokupa wewe, wakimdharau wamekudharau wewe.
    Mwambie mkeo hao ni nduguzo na wanastahili heshima kama anayokupa, akiwadharau kakudharau. Hivyo hivyo na kuhusu chuki.
    Mwanaume lazima uwe na msimamo sio kulegalega na kukimbilia kuvunja ndoa.

    USITOE SIRI ZA MKEO AU UBAYA AU UZURI WA MKEO KWA NDUGUZO, LAZIMA WATAMCHUKIA.
     
  15. k

    kwaangw Member

    #15
    Apr 4, 2011
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    tatizo kama hili la jamaa mi ilinipata baada tu ya kuoa: lkn mi nilifanya kiakili sana mpaka akaamua kukimbia mwenyewe. tofauti na huyu mi tayari nilzaa naye mtoto mmoja. Nilichofanya niliamua kumfanyia visa mara sirudi nyumbani, mara nafika nyumbani na mwanamke namtambulisha kama rafiki then natoka naye halafu sirudi siku hiyo, akilalamika nakaa kimya simjibu, simgombezi, sikumtukana ila vituko hivi tu vilitosha. Nilifanya hivi kwa miezi miwili tu akachapa lapa mwenyewe, wala mali hatukugawana. Baada ya kujivunza kupitia kwa huyu wa kwanza sasa ni mke anayestahili kweli kuitwa mke na ninaenjoy kweli maisha ya ndoa
     
  16. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

    #16
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    Halafu na yeye kutokuwa na mtoto na yenyewe inachangia, kitu kingine inaonekana ana ujeuri ambao ni sababu ya mali mlizonazo either anajua kuwa hata mkiachana kuna mali fulani atapata kutoka kwako, kama ameweza kukutamkia kuwa hakulazimishi kuishi na yeye basi ujue hapo huyo mwanamke anataka kufanya mambo yake si ajabu kuna mtu mwingine wa pembeni anatoka naye ndio maana anakuwa na kiburi
     
  17. Eeka Mangi

    Eeka Mangi JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Apr 4, 2011
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    Kuna mtu aliandika hapa kuwa wanaume wengi hulia baada ya kusomesha wasichana wao! Sikatazi mtu kusomesha mchumba ama mke ila visa vya kugombana na kuachana baada ya hawa dada zetu kumaliza masomo vimekuwa vingi mno. Ni wachache wanaoweza kugundua fadhila za mwanaume husika katika hilo.
    Sasa ni hivi. Kwa kuwa wewe unahofia kugawana mali yakubidi ucheze mchezo mrefu sana. Kuna kuuza nyumba kwa kigezo cha kununua nyumba nzuri zaidi! Mweleweshe tu kuwa unatamani kuwa na nyumba sehemu bora zaidi na hivyo unataka kuuza ili ujazie hele ununue nyingine ama hata kujenga! Sio rahisi sana akubaliane na wewe ila mshawishi na hili unatakiwa uwe msanii wa hali ya juu kwa kumpenda zaidi! Gari anza kuuza na kununua mpya kwa dizaini hii ataona unafanya biashara then ukifanikiwa na kuuza nyumba then wewe mwanzishie tu.
    La sivyo fanya tathmini ya mali uone kama sio sawa na furaha unayoitafuta gawana naye then tafuta furaha unayoihitaji. Tatizo unaweza ukajakuwa na mke bomu kuliko tena huyo. Inatakiwa maombi sana umpate anayefikia viwango na vigezo utakavyovitaka.
    Pole sana mkuu!
     
  18. daughter

    daughter JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Apr 4, 2011
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    Kama amebadilika lazima ana sababu. Fuata ushauri wa mchangiaji mmoja hapo juu,chunguza pengine hao ndugu zako wanamsimanga kwa kukosa mtoto ndo maana na yeye anawapotezea. Sikushauri umuache coz ilm tatizo ni dogo na mnaweza kulitatua kwa mazungumzo ya amani,kuhusu kuzaa ni vizuri umegundua tatizo na ujue ilo la kukosa mtoto linamuuma yeye pia and the least you can do is divorce her coz anahitaji support yako sana.
     
  19. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

    #19
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    jaribu kuongea nae akuambie shida ni nini hasa,kama inafaa ku-compromise muendelee kuishi maisha ya furaha.hakuna anayependa stress banaa.ila solutions zenu hazitalingana na za wengine wetu,so trust ur guts.Kuna mtu alisema "advice is what we seek when we know exactly what we should do and we want to avoid'':tape:
     
  20. Dr wa ukweli

    Dr wa ukweli JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Apr 4, 2011
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    freema: nawasiwasi na wewe mbona kama unamtetea sana au na wewe ndio tabia zako??
     
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