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Msaada kwenye tutaz!!!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by James J, Mar 20, 2009.

  1. J

    James J Member

    #1
    Mar 20, 2009
    Joined: Jan 13, 2009
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    Jamani wana JF,naombeni ushauri wenu,nilikuwa nina mpenzi wangu ambaye nilikuwa nampenda sana 2mekaa more than 3 years kwenye relation ye2 ikatokea yeye akahamia dsm kikazi baada ya hapo ndo matatizo yalipoanza akaanza kuniletea visa na dharau mara ukipiga cmu hapokei,nikafanya uchunguzi wangu nikagundua alipohamia dar kumbe alipata jamaa huko kazini basi baada ya muda akaniacha tena kwa dharau sana niliumia sana sana 2 imepita kama miezi 6 now amerudi ananiomba msamaha anadai anajutia sana yote aliyotenda.Kusema ule ukweli still i love her ila naogopa sana kumpa nafasi nyingine nikikumbuka aliyonifanyia,so am still DILEMA.Jamani naombeeni msaada wa mawazo.
     
  2. Sajenti

    Sajenti JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Mar 20, 2009
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    ...Mrudie tu harua haina kiporo!!!
     
  3. Kang

    Kang JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Mar 20, 2009
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    Move on.
     
  4. BelindaJacob

    BelindaJacob JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Mar 20, 2009
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    Pole kwanza kwa hilo tukio naamini hata kama utamsamehe huwezi kusahau alivyokutenda.

    Umesema bado unampenda, rudiana nae ila kaa uongee nae nini kilimfanya akutende vile na kwanini kajirudi ghafla? Pia mkapime afya zenu kabla ya kurudiana kimapenzi zaidi. Japo mambo hayatakuwa kama zamani ghafla!

    Ungekuwa humpendi ningekwambia umuache maana tayari ameonyesha hana msimamo na umbali kidogo mliokuwa nao tayari alishaanza uhusiano na mwanaume mwingine.
     
  5. Mpita Njia

    Mpita Njia JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Mar 20, 2009
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    Usikilize moyo wako unachokuambia
     
  6. Next Level

    Next Level JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Mar 20, 2009
    Joined: Nov 17, 2008
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    Kijana wengi wameshapitia mapito hayo, kama huyo mwanamke anakupenda ulipobaini kuwa yupo na njemba ingine asingekuwa anakulete jeuri, dharau na visa...angeendelea tu kuvunga anakupenda tu la kini si kukudharau!

    Mwanamke anayekupenda,nikwambie huwa hathubutu hata siku moja kukufanyia visa, mkwara, jeuri hata kama kutokana na mazingira aliyopo anaweza kutembea na mume mwingine e.g bosi wake, work mate.....mtu anayependa huendelea kumpenda tu!

    Nionacho mimi huyo kapigwa kibuti huko mpenzi wake mpya au kaona jamaa anaye wake so wewe anakuona ni last resort, na kumbuka wanawake wengi siku hizo wako desperate sana kupata wachumba wakuwaoa ili waheshimike, lakini si lazima awe anakupenda! na usipoangalia ukija kumwoa usishangae akaendelea kutembea na huyo jamaa (mtalaka hatongozwi mkuu)! So be very careful
     
  7. Shapu

    Shapu JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Mar 20, 2009
    Joined: Jan 17, 2008
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    The fact kwamba unampenda isije ikawa ndo chanzo cha yeye kukunyanyasa. Mimi naona fanya utafiti wa kina ujuea kama na yeye anakupenda ndo sasa ufanye uamuzi. Inawezekana wewe ndo unampenda lakini yeye hakupendi so utegemee mchezo ule ule.
     
  8. Dark City

    Dark City JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Mar 20, 2009
    Joined: Oct 18, 2008
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    Jimmy,

    Kama uko tayari kuwa second best basi endelea kumfuatilia. Mtu anayekupenda hawezi kamwe kukuumiza. Ila anayekuchezea kama dolly hana muda wa kuangalia feelings zako. Hatajali unaumia au la. Wewe achana na huyo mwanamke. Wapo wengi tu wanakusubiri uwape nafasi. Daima si lazima kupata ukipendacho bali unaweza kupata kile alichokujalia mola. Huyo hakuwa riziki na epukana naye kabisa. Ukimwacha utaumia sana ila ukimsahau utafurahia maisha yako.
     
  9. Nyamayao

    Nyamayao JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Mar 20, 2009
    Joined: Jan 22, 2009
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    fuata moyo wako but ningekuwa ni mie nisingerudi nyuma, kwanini upashe kiporo na vitu vya kupikwa vipo?
     
  10. K

    KipimaPembe JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Mar 20, 2009
    Joined: Aug 5, 2007
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    Huwezi kuamini, historia siku zote hujirudia. Huyo mdada amekuumiza hivyo wakati mkiwa wachumba, atakuumiza tena ikiwa hatimaye utamuoa. Hilo uwe na uhakika nalo. Ikiwa anakupenda kweli wala asingekuonesha madharau kiasi alichofanya. Kukurudia ni kuwa sasa anaona huko aliko kuwa amepata amemwagwa. Kama unakubali kuwa spare tyre, yaani namba wani yake ikifeli anarudi kwako, kubali, ila ujue utaumizwa tena.

    Mapenzi siyo kitu permanent. Huja na kupita. Uaminifu na heshima huwa ni tabia, hivyo havibadiliki. Sasa kuna kujidanganya kuwa unampenda, au yeye akudanganye kuwa anakupenda. Ikiwa hana heshima na si mwaminifu kama alivokwishathibitisha, kumuoa itakuwa balaa zaidi. Kilele cha mapenzi huwa kipo wakati wa uchumba. Mkishaoana mapenzi huaza kupungua kadri siku zinavyoendelea. Sasa fikiria mtu anayefanya hayo wakati wa kilele, atafanyaje mapenzi yatakapoisha?

    Tulioko kwenye ndoa tunajua kuwa miaka mitano down the road, huwa mapenzi hakuna tena. Kinachobaki ni kuheshimiana na kuaminiana tuu. Yaani ile commitment ya viapo vya ndoa inabaki ni muhimu zaidi kuliko mapenzi yenyewe. Kwa hali hiyo umeshajua kuwa huyo mpenzi wako hakuheshimu. Ila circumstance tuu ndo inamrudisha kwako. Utakuwa umefanya kosa kubwa kuusikiliza moyo unaokuambia eti unampenda. Ndoa zoote watu huanza wakisema tunapendana. Lakini mkiisha ingia ndani ya ndoa, other qualities, huwa muhimu kuliko mapenzi pekee.

    Be careful, mapenzi yanaweza kukuingiza kwenye balaa wakati unaliona. Hata kama unampenda, achana naye. Tafuta mwingine. Huyo ameshathibitisha kitu kimoja kwako. Si mwaminifu, hakuheshimu, ukimng'ang'ania umeliwa au imekula kwako!!!
     
  11. Baba_Enock

    Baba_Enock JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Mar 20, 2009
    Joined: Aug 21, 2008
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    Mkuu James John,

    Relationships are made up of the same two elements: pleasure and pain. All humans are driven to gain the former and avoid the latter.It does not matter what type of desire may be, or how large or insgnificant you think it is; pleasure and pain are parts of it make-up

    The sincere and authentic choice is YOURS.

    The only thing I can advice is that, if she already had a relatioship (one or many) after miving down to Dar then before you move in again (I'm not suggesting that though), go for HIV/AIDS test, otherwise you may suffer a "double-impact" (remember that movie!)
     
  12. K

    KipimaPembe JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Mar 20, 2009
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    Ndoa siku zote huwa ina kawaida ya ku-amplify matatizo. Maana yake ni kuwa, kama kuna tatizo dogo kati yako na mchumba wako mkiingia kwenye ndoa, tatizo hilo litakuwa kubwa. Kubwa sana. Kwa mfano ikiwa mnatofautiana kwenye kidogo kwenye mambo ya fedha na matumizi yake, siku mkioana hilo litakuwa Bonge la tatizo.

    Kwa hiyo ili muingie kwenye ndoa mnahitaji kuwa na tofauti ndogo sana. Affairs zinapoanza kuwa ishu, wakati hata hamjaoana, the chance of successiful marriege is near to zero. Unaweza kusema utamsamehe, ila hutahau. Hiyo ila sitasahau ndo balaa litaanzia hapo. Kaugomvi kokote hata kawe kadogo vipi katazusha memories za usaliti uliokwisha tokea huko nyuma na kufanya mambo yawe magumu sana.

    Fikiria tena. Usiongozwe na hisia za mapenzi, bali logic na reason kufanya maamuzi. Ukitumia mapenzi kufanya maamuzi siku zote majuto anakuwa mjukuu. Usioe balaa wakati unaliona!!!
     
  13. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Mar 20, 2009
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    You have two choices in Love; Forgive and forget her, or get back together and wish you'd forget her!


    ...tena msisahau kupima UKIMWI!
     
  14. Y

    Yassin JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Mar 20, 2009
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    Mkuu naona mbwage chini tu hamna kusikiliza maradhi hayo ni maradhi tu wamesha starehe tayari wamekula uroda leo anataka kuja kwako kukuletea shomba achana nae!!
     
  15. Kwetunikwetu

    Kwetunikwetu JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Mar 20, 2009
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    Kwani huyo ni demu wako wa ngapi? Manake naona unababaika, si umwage tu au unaogopa kuona chozi lake???
     
  16. E

    Edo JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Mar 20, 2009
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    Jamani afanye utafiti gani wakati conclusion ni wazi-mwanamke kicheche na kama tujuavyo tabia haina dawa!!! Achana naye kabisa. Mapenzi si huruma, ukiendelea kumsikiliza anavyolialia na sisi wanaume tulivyo dhaifu utalegeza kamba bure-funga chapter yake !!!!!! Anza mbele !!!
     
  17. A

    Audax JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Mar 20, 2009
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    Wengine hatupo kwenye ndoa,lakini linapokuja suala la ndoa c kulala wote kitandani ni pamoja na mambo mengine mengi ambayo sisi hatuyajui tuliyo nje ya ndoa. Ila pamoja na hayo yote,endelea na maisha yako,angalia mbele.Usirudi nyuma.Kurudi kwako nyuma kucje kukakufanya uanze kujutia maamuzi yako ya sasa.
     
  18. Raia Fulani

    Raia Fulani JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Mar 20, 2009
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    huyo ni kicheche na kamwagwa vibaya na huyo mpya! kavamia jiji kwa pupa yakamkuta. mwache ndugu la utaumia tena. ila waswahili wa pemba hujuana kwa vilemba. mnajuana kuliko ulivyotushirikisha. au sio wadau?
     
  19. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Mar 22, 2009
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    Time to move on. She is not worthy of your time
     
  20. Fidel80

    Fidel80 JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Mar 22, 2009
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    Mkuu huyo mpige chini ukikubali atakuona bwege lasivyo jaribu kumwambia siku hizi umempata anaye kupa tiGo.
     
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