World is so funny. Lol!

Two friends rented a boat and fished in a lake every day. One day they caught 30 fish. One guy said to his friend, "Mark this spot so that we can come back here again tomorrow." The next day, when they were driving to rent the boat, the same guy asked his friend, "Did you mark that spot?" His friend replied, "Yeah, I put a big 'X' on the bottom of the boat." The first one said, "You stupid fool! What if we don't get that same boat today!?!?

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F and G are the letters used to define bra sizes?
If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for... It is about time you became informed!
{A} - Almost Boobs...
{B} - Barely there.
{C} - Can't Complain!
{D} - Damn!
{DD} - Double damn!
{E} - Enormous!
{F}- Fake
{G} - GEEEEzus Christ!

Am finished

Dear men, not all girls want sex in a relationship. Some want brain to support their dreams, so polish your brain than your face.

We thought 3G was fast, then we got a much faster 4G then started complaining about data consumption rate. Wait until we get the 5G.. We all gonna go bankrupt

Any guy reading this post before the end of this year , you will get a girl pregnant. If you argue with me. It will be twins

My brother, my sister stop calling your phone when you lose it,u are disturbing it's new owner

Remember growing up saying "I want to be a pilot" 20 years later the only thing you do related to airplanes is FLIGHT MODE on your phone.

Children nowadays don't even know that in our days you could be beaten for any of the following 40 reasons:

1. Crying after being beaten.
2. Not crying after being beaten.
3. Crying without being beaten.
4. Standing while the elders are seated.
5. Sitting while the elders are standing.
6. Walking around aimlessly where the elders are seated.
7. Replying back to an elder.
8. Not replying back to an elder.
9. Spending too much time without being beaten.
10. Singing after being admonished.
11. Not greeting visitors.
12. Eating food prepared for the visitors.
13. Crying to go with the visitors when the visitors are leaving.
14. Refusing to eat.
15. Coming back home after sunset.
16. Eating at the neighbour's home.
17. Generally being moody.
18. Generally being too excited.
19. Fighting with your age mate and losing.
20. Fighting with your age mate and winning.
21. Eating too slowly.
22. Eating too quickly.
23. Eating too much.
24. Not finishing your food.
25. Scraping your plate
26. Eating and talking
27. Talking and chewing
28. Sleeping while the elders had already woken up.
29. Looking at the visitors while they are eating.
30. Stumbling and falling when walking.
31. Looking at an elder eye ball to eye ball.
32. When an elder is talking to you and you blink your eye.
33. When an elder is talking to you and you stared without blinking.
34. When you look at an elder with a corner eye.
When an elder points at you.
35. When your mates were playing Street football and you joined them to play.
36. When your mates were playing and you were not playing with them.
37. When you don't wash your dish
38. When you don't wash your dish properly
39. When you break your dish
40. When you bite your nails

Numbisa said:

Fact:

The only three people a woman attentively listens to and obeys sincerely and does exactly as they say is a DOCTOR, the PASTOR and PHOTOGRAPHER, otherwise if you're neither of the three, sit down and be strong...

Click to expand...

How about The hair braider?

Numbisa said:

A guy and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television. The husband sighs and complains, “This is disappointing. It only lasted for 30 seconds!” “Good,” replied his wife. “Now you know how I always feel.”

Click to expand...

Damn

Hairbraider is just a servant.

The Martyr said:

How about The hair braider?

Click to expand...

Chief My God,Numbisa are trying to kill me?
Your statements are so fun!

A guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a fuckin checking account" To which the lady replied, "I beg your pardon, what did you say?" "Listen up dammit, I said I want to open a fuckin checking account right now." "Sir, Im sorry but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank!" The teller left the window and went over to the bank manager and told him about her situation. They both returned and the manager asked, "What seems to be the problem here?" "Theres no damn problem," the man said, "I just won 50 million in the lottery and I want to open a fuckin checking account in this damn bank!" "I see sir," the manager said, "and this bitch is giving you a hard time?"

Husband texts to wife on cell.. Hi,what r u doing Darling?

Wife: Im dying..!

Husband jumps with joy but types Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?

Wife: U idiot! Im dying my hair.. Husband: Bloody English Language!

Dreams

One morning, after she woke up, a woman told her husband,

"I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond necklace for Valentine's Day.

What do you think it means?"

"Maybe you’ll find out tonight…," he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.

Delighted, she opened it

- to find a book entitled:"The Meaning of Dreams."

Some dudes brag about how many women they slept with, but forget to mention how many minutes they lasted

During the shooting of a movie.
DIRECTOR: Now we are going to release the lion and it will chase you. But don't worry it wont bite you.
MUSA: How sure are you?
DIRECTOR: It is written in the script.
MUSA: Has the lion read the script?

When a herdsman dies, his son inherits his cows., but when a professor dies his certificates becomes a waste.

Moral Lesson: use your school fees to buy cows

Wisdom will kill me

I remember when wigs were just for grannies,its funny how things change so fast

Don't be shy or afraid to accept money/Airtime from your Ex its your pension money