Roger Sterling
JF-Expert Member
- May 10, 2015
- 13,012
- 23,625
Research from Penn State found that women reported talking more about sex and sex-related topics with their best friend than men did. And they found that we're very, very comfortable with it.
So be prepared to be dissected in front of the jury; it's our way of getting an objective point of view and second (and third and fourth) opinion on things. Is it normal for you to want a finger in the bum, Kanye-style? To have a partner that can't come from oral sex? To only come from oral sex?
Here's the short
list of what your girlfriend is telling her friends about your sex life, and why.1. How Beautiful (Or Not) Your Penis Is
Yup, from size, taste and smell, to circumcision, that birthmark that she had to double check was not something else and the slight curve to the right that ever so gently stabs her cervix every time you pump, these details are public record. No detail is too gross or too personal to spill.
Why? You've been comparing penis size since you were cavemen. And we've been talking about it for exactly the same length of time. Biologically speaking, it's a marker of masculinity according to many studies, and as such, is one of the first things women compare notes on. The good news is, if she’s gushing about it, it’s usually because it's wonderfully stunning and magical. That, or she’s looking for advice. We tend to build preferences based off our past experiences, and sometimes need a little encouragement and support when (literally) facing something different. Either way both are good for you, so don’t sweat it.
2. Your Sex Style & Stamina
Just as important
if not more so is the report on the actual sex that's being had. From what positions and how many, to that out-of-body high you get when you're with someone new (oxytocin) – we go through just about every detail there is about that first time.Why? Because sexual attraction and chemistry is critical in the initial stages of a relationship – and is so real that it's actually regulated by hormones called neutrophins, according to Italian research from the University of Pisa. This euphoria is a huge part of how women gauge the chemistry and whether or not you’re the right fit, literally and figuratively. It's about much more than just good dirty talk; we’re assessing the physical connection. Are you a bit freaky and adventurous? Assertive but not aggressive? An initiator? Just like scientists have found the way you dance can reveal information about your personality, it doesn't seem so far fetched to believe the same could be true about the way you have sex (though there is not much research on the idea yet). Analysing your sex style in comparison to others’ (ours or our friends) is all up for grabs, conversation wise.
3. How Selfish (Or Not) You Are
This one’s pretty straight forward. On the one hand she’s talking about the big picture — the attention, sensuality and romance of it all — and on the other she’s talking specifics. Mainly, what you did with your hands and mouth, how well and for how long.
Why? The results of a recent Kinsey study found that straight women said they had orgasms with their partner 61.6 per cent of the time; that shot up to 74.7 percent for lesbians. The conclusion? Straight couples tend to focus on intercourse — an unreliable route to orgasm because there's no clitoral stimulation. So make sure you're spending the time satisfying her, because it's a big factor in determining two things: 1) your level of interest, and 2) your maturity, both mentally and sexually. And while words can be and often are misleading and misunderstood, reciprocity between the sheets (or lack thereof) isn’t.
4. How Good You Are, Compared To Her Best
Did she climax? More than once? Did you do something she’s never tried before? Did you make her want to? Does she get turned on just being next to you and fantasize about doing things that are totally out of character? Pre, during... post? All markers of the promised land, all noted and filed in the report.
Why? Because great sex is important
to us too. However, if you don't come out on top
(as her best) there's no need to panic. In a survey of 1,000 people by IllicitEncounters.com more than half of women (56%) said they had the best sex of their lives in a previous relationship rather than with their current lover. Though it's unclear if those are also the women who are members of IllicitEncounters.com...... Best to aim for being her best, and to foster room for improvement if you're not.
5. How You Make Her Feel About Herself
If there is one thing a woman will always remember in a given situation, it's how confident she felt in it. More than the experience itself, it's the high or low that she felt that shapes her overall opinion. Was she too uncomfortable to keep the lights
on? Did she opt not to get totally naked? Or was she so completely comfortable in her femininity that none of that stuff even crossed her mind at all?Why? Many women feel depressed over their looks, affecting everything from relationships to exercise and job interviews, according to the Be Real campaign. This has much less to do with you as it does us, but the goal of us talking about it with friends is learning to feel confident by getting support and positive reinforcement. Dating is about finding someone who makes you feel good, and helps you come into your best self yet. And confidence naked is the best sign of that there is.
