Marudio ya topic zilizokupa raha

fundiaminy

JF-Expert Member
Jun 4, 2009
357
0
Kuna baadhi ya topics hapa kwa jokes zimewahi kukupa raha.naonelea badala ya kuzi repost nianzishe hii thread ili kujikumbusha na kuwapongeza waliochangia.mimi binafsi huwa kila nikisoma hii topic hubaki kujichekea pekeangu.big up mkuu Excellent popote ulipo.

Topic: Muongo akihadithia
Excellent 17:19 24th May 2011
jamaa mmoja muongo alikua
kijiweni anawahadithia watu
jinsi alivyokua akimkimbiza swala
porini akaishia kwamba "
nikamkamata nikamlaza chini"
ghafla kabla hajaendelea simu
yake ikaita akaenda pembeni
kupokea, washikaji wakawa
wanamsubiria kwa hamu ili
arudi aendelee, alivyorudi
akawauliza hivi niliishia wapi?
wakamwambia " umemkamata
ukamlaza chini" jamaa akasema
enheee, basi nikaanza kumvua
nguo taratiibu huku
nikimkumbatia na kumla
madenda, washkaji wakashtuka
na kuguna mmmh!! aaaaah! si
alikua swala? jamaa akshtuka
akasema aaaahaaa,
nimekumbuka nikaanza
kumchinja! washkaji hoiiiiiiii:
 

Mutukwao

JF-Expert Member
Aug 7, 2011
213
0
Sikumbuki topic inasemaje ila nakumbuka haya maneno eating whn in month,dry dry thngs,sucking my tree,slaughting whle naked th few ido remember.
 

Bushbaby

JF-Expert Member
Dec 29, 2010
1,588
1,500
Sikumbuki topic inasemaje ila nakumbuka haya maneno eating whn in month,dry dry thngs,sucking my tree,slaughting whle naked th few ido remember.
mmhhh hii ilikuwa hapa kweli au lile jukwaa lingine...??
 

Bushbaby

JF-Expert Member
Dec 29, 2010
1,588
1,500
[h=2]Dogo Janja!!...[/h]
A woman takes a lover home

during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly,

sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home.

She puts her lover in the closet,

not realizing that the little boy

is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."

The man says, "Yes, it is."

Boy: "I have a baseball."

Man: "That's nice"

Boy: "Want to buy it?"

Man: "No, thanks."

Boy: "My Dad's out side."

Man: "OK, how much?"

Boy: "$250"

In the next few weeks,

it happens again that

the boy and the lover

are in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here."

Man: "Yes, it is."

Boy: "I have a baseball glove."

The lover, remembering the last time,

asks the boy, "How much?"

Boy: "$750"

Man: "Sold."

A few days later, the Dad says to the boy,

"Grab your glove,

let's go outside and

have a game of catch."

The boy says,

"I can't,

I sold my baseball and my glove."

The Dad asks,

"How much did you sell them for?"

Boy: "$1,000"

The Dad says,

"That's terrible to over charge your friends like that...

that is way more than those two things cost.

I'm taking you to church, to confession."

They go to the church

and the Dad makes the little boy

sit in the confessional booth

and closes the door.

The boy says,

"Dark in here."

The priest says,

"Don't start that shit again;

you're in my closet now."​
 

Babkey

JF-Expert Member
Dec 10, 2010
4,830
2,000
Hapa napo nilicheka mno.......
br
br
Harry alipochoka kufanya
kazi zake akazima taa,
akambusu mkewe,
akalala na usingizi mzito
ukampitia. Mara
akamwona mwanamme
amesimama
kitandani.
"Toka hapa nani wewe
unakuja kitandani
kwangu?"
"mimi ni mtakatifu Petro
na hapa si kitandani
kwako bali ni mbinguni"
"Ina maana nimekufa?
Mbona mimi bado kijana?
Naomba unirudishe
duniani."
"Inawezekana, lakini
siwezi kukurudisha kama
mtu, labda nikurudishe
kama
mbwa au kuku"
Harry akakumbuka mbwa
anavyopata taabu ya
kulinda, "Bora nirudi kama
kuku"
Mara akajikuta yuko
kwenye banda, akiwa
kuku jike na matakoni
kunawaka
moto. Akamwona jogoo
pembeni, akamwambia
shida yake.
"Kaka ninasikia moto
matakoni, inakuwaje?"
"Kwani hujawahi kutaga
weye?" Jogoo akamjibu
kwa maringo.
"Sijawahi"
"Chuchumaa, kamua kwa
nguvu yai litoke."
Basi akakamua, yai la
kwanza likatoka,
akakamua tena yai la pili
hilo!
Akiwa anataka kukamua
yai la tatu akasikia sauti
ya mke wake.
"Harry, pumbavu wewe,
unakunya kitandani!"
 

mchemsho

JF-Expert Member
Jun 8, 2011
3,183
2,000
<b>Dogo Janja!!...</b><br /><br /><div style="margin-left:40px">A woman takes a lover home<br />
<br />
during the day while her husband is at work.<br />
<br />
Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly,<br />
<br />
sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.<br />
<br />
The woman's husband also comes home.<br />
<br />
She puts her lover in the closet,<br />
<br />
not realizing that the little boy<br />
<br />
is in there already.<br />
<br />
The little boy says, &quot;Dark in here.&quot;<br />
<br />
The man says, &quot;Yes, it is.&quot;<br />
<br />
Boy: &quot;I have a baseball.&quot;<br />
<br />
Man: &quot;That's nice&quot;<br />
<br />
Boy: &quot;Want to buy it?&quot;<br />
<br />
Man: &quot;No, thanks.&quot;<br />
<br />
Boy: &quot;My Dad's out side.&quot;<br />
<br />
Man: &quot;OK, how much?&quot;<br />
<br />
Boy: &quot;$250&quot;<br />
<br />
In the next few weeks,<br />
<br />
it happens again that<br />
<br />
the boy and the lover<br />
<br />
are in the closet together.<br />
<br />
Boy: &quot;Dark in here.&quot;<br />
<br />
Man: &quot;Yes, it is.&quot;<br />
<br />
Boy: &quot;I have a baseball glove.&quot;<br />
<br />
The lover, remembering the last time,<br />
<br />
asks the boy, &quot;How much?&quot;<br />
<br />
Boy: &quot;$750&quot;<br />
<br />
Man: &quot;Sold.&quot;<br />
<br />
A few days later, the Dad says to the boy,<br />
<br />
&quot;Grab your glove,<br />
<br />
let's go outside and<br />
<br />
have a game of catch.&quot;<br />
<br />
The boy says,<br />
<br />
&quot;I can't,<br />
<br />
I sold my baseball and my glove.&quot;<br />
<br />
The Dad asks,<br />
<br />
&quot;How much did you sell them for?&quot;<br />
<br />
Boy: &quot;$1,000&quot;<br />
<br />
The Dad says,<br />
<br />
&quot;That's terrible to over charge your friends like that...<br />
<br />
that is way more than those two things cost.<br />
<br />
I'm taking you to church, to confession.&quot;<br />
<br />
They go to the church<br />
<br />
and the Dad makes the little boy<br />
<br />
sit in the confessional booth<br />
<br />
and closes the door.<br />
<br />
The boy says,<br />
<br />
&quot;Dark in here.&quot;<br />
<br />
The priest says,<br />
<br />
&quot;Don't start that shit again;<br />
<br />
you're in my closet now.&quot;</div>
<br />
<br />
khaa.! Kumbe alikuwa padre na kale ndo kamchezo kake.!
 

Jamsuldash

Member
Jul 14, 2011
70
95
Ile ya mlevi na rafiki mpya ambaye anarudi naye nyumbani kwake na kuanza kumuelekeza hii ni nyumba yangu na lile ni gari langu, wakaingia ndani wanalikuta njemba limelala na mke wa mlevi bila wasiwasi mlevi akaendelea kuelekeza kile ni kitanda changu, yule ni mke wangu na yule aliyelala naye ni MIMI. . .
 

Viol

JF-Expert Member
Dec 15, 2009
23,134
2,000
Wakuu thanks much kwa pongezi zenu.

Kuna post niliipenda sana huwa nacheka sana ila sikumbuki jina la mwenye post sijui kama nitakosea kuelezea.Ilikuwa inasema...

Chizi alikatiza mbugani akiwa uchi wanyama wakaanza kukimbia,swala akamwambia simba ''inakwaje mfalme wa pori na wewe unakimbia''simba akajibu ''we uliona wapi mnyama mwenye mkia mbele'''
 

Pota

JF-Expert Member
Apr 8, 2011
1,903
1,500
mi ilinichekesha sana (japokuwa siikumbuki vzr) .....jamaa waliokuwa wanfanyiwa interview na professor na wakagundua maswali
wanayoulizwa ni yaleyale hivyo wakaambizana, issue ikawa kwa rafiki wawili mmoja bright na mwingine kilaza. here it is,

PROF; When did tz got her independence
CAND; it was supposed to be in 1960 but it was postponed until 1961
PROF; Who participated in the process
CAND; Many participated but nyerere and karume finalised it
PROF; Do you believe that in MARS there are living things
CAND; some people say yes some say no, but scientist are still investigating.
then akaingia candidate kilaza, bahati mbaya prof akabadilisha maswali, ikawa hivi,
PROF; When were you born?
CAND; It was supposed to be in 1960 but it was postponed until 1961
PROF; What? Who is your father by the way?
CAND; so many participated but nyerere and karume finalised it,
PROF; What? are you crazy?
CAND; Some say yes, some say no but scientists are still investigating
 

Mamaya

JF-Expert Member
Jul 4, 2011
3,924
2,000
Mi nilifurahia sana post ya enzi ulipokuwa boarding. Ilinikumbusha mbali sana na vtuko vya sconga
 

Zasasule

JF-Expert Member
Aug 12, 2009
1,004
1,250
mi ilinichekesha sana (japokuwa siikumbuki vzr) .....jamaa waliokuwa wanfanyiwa interview na professor na wakagundua maswali
wanayoulizwa ni yaleyale hivyo wakaambizana, issue ikawa kwa rafiki wawili mmoja bright na mwingine kilaza. here it is,

PROF; When did tz got her independence
CAND; it was supposed to be in 1960 but it was postponed until 1961
PROF; Who participated in the process
CAND; Many participated but nyerere and karume finalised it
PROF; Do you believe that in MARS there are living things
CAND; some people say yes some say no, but scientist are still investigating.
then akaingia candidate kilaza, bahati mbaya prof akabadilisha maswali, ikawa hivi,
PROF; When were you born?
CAND; It was supposed to be in 1960 but it was postponed until 1961
PROF; What? Who is your father by the way?
CAND; so many participated but nyerere and karume finalised it,
PROF; What? are you crazy?
CAND; Some say yes, some say no but scientists are still investigating

yh, made my day man!! nice one!!!
 

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