Ladies, Never share your Marital Problems with your friends...!


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kasyabone tall

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kasyabone tall

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You know who your friends are when you're going through a relationship crisis. Maybe your husband is coming up to 40 and has started acting strangely; perhaps you've caught him texting another woman; or, worst of all, he's threatening to leave you and break up the family.

Whatever the circumstances, it's only being able to phone a friend or chat with the girls over a glass of wine that stops you from going round the bend.

According to Andrew G Marshall, after almost 30 years working as a marital therapist, he has become convinced that, while men don't have enough friends or emotional support, women can have far too many and too much.

He says, "my heart sinks when a new female client tells me her ‘friends have been wonderful' because time and time again, while she thinks they've been helping her save her relationship, they've been fanning the flames or even throwing petrol on the fire."

FIVE STEPS TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE
1. When you're in a hole, stop digging. Under pressure, we tend to try the same failed strategy again and again. Even though we know pushing for an answer, getting angry or going silent doesn't work, we imagine doing it one more time (but bigger, louder or for longer) will change things. It won't.
2. Stop playing tit for tat. He does something horrible and you match him. Soon it's become a race to the bottom.
3. Just for a second, put your feelings to one side and step in your partner's shoes. How does your relationship look now and what would you like to do differently?
4. Make a full apology. This is different from saying sorry. First, acknowledge any behaviour that you regret; next, identify how this might have made him feel, and then apologise. Please don't explain why you acted as you did - that's for another day - because it can sound like an excuse and lessen the power of your apology.
5. Be the big one. If you love your husband - and if not, why are you spending hours talking about him to your girlfriends - do you love him enough to give without any expectation (in the short term) of getting anything back?
 
King Kong III

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King Kong III

King Kong III

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Vice versa also true.
 
Kaunga

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Kaunga

Kaunga

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weee, utasikia utosi unafanya 'bangggg!?!'
ubongo wote unaruka nje, kushare na wanafamilia inasaidia sana.
That is what l was thinking. Labda ingekuwa dont share with just any friend but someone you real trust. Maana kweli waweza explode.
 
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Natalia

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Why sharing talk communicate with your partner Usiwe na Kinyongo, usipoweza kusolve get out simple.
 
Fixed Point

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weee, utasikia utosi unafanya 'bangggg!?!'
ubongo wote unaruka nje, kushare na wanafamilia inasaidia sana.
kuna family members ni worse than friends
kama mtu anaweza ku-handle matatizo yake ni vizuri kufanya hivyo. inasaidia sana kuwaweka karibu na kujua undani wa matatizo yaliyotokea, kama kuna kujirekebisha mufanye hivyo.
ila kama mtu hawezi ni vizuri kuchagua sana mtu wa kumwambia, siyo kila mtu. na inakuwa vizuri saidi kuna na mtu mmoja ambaye utamwambia kila tatizo, siyoleo huyu kesho yule.
 
Kongosho

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Kongosho

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Namshangaa, kuna mengine huwezi kaa nayo peke yako

That is what l was thinking. Labda ingekuwa dont share with just any friend but someone you real trust. Maana kweli waweza explode.
 
Kongosho

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Kongosho

Kongosho

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Ni kweli kuna ndugu ni wworse. But thank God nina ndugu ambao nawaamini sana.

Ujue hata tunapolea watoto tujitahidi kuwafundisha filosofi ya mafia, family first.

kuna family members ni worse than friends
kama mtu anaweza ku-handle matatizo yake ni vizuri kufanya hivyo. inasaidia sana kuwaweka karibu na kujua undani wa matatizo yaliyotokea, kama kuna kujirekebisha mufanye hivyo.
ila kama mtu hawezi ni vizuri kuchagua sana mtu wa kumwambia, siyo kila mtu. na inakuwa vizuri saidi kuna na mtu mmoja ambaye utamwambia kila tatizo, siyoleo huyu kesho yule.
 
Zogwale

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Zogwale

Zogwale

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Leteni na ya wanaume, mbona waume wengine wambea hata kwa mahawara wanamwaga siri za nyumbani? Wengine maofisini wanasema wake zao!! Tena marafiki na wale wanaitwa mashemeji uchwara ndo kabisa wanaelezwa weakness za mamsupu. Ndoa zilindwe kwa wote swallowing all your marital problems and solving them one after onother before stepping on the bed!!! But wanaume wakikosa tunaomba msamaha wa kweli!!Kwa waafrika bado sana hii kitu. Kuna kesi moja hivi eti mke aliambiwa ombe tu msamaha kwa kuwa wanaume hawaombi msamaha!! Mwingine mume akamwambia ukienda sema wewe ndiyo una kosa ili uniombe msamaha wakati mume ndiye alikuwa na makosa makubwa mno!! Ndoa ile mke alikataa kuomba msamaha wa uongo na walitengana for 11 years now!! Kisa mwanaume faru na hataki kuona makosa!! Inaboa wakati mwingine!!
Inabidi wote washiriki kujenga ndoa kwa kukubali makosa, na kuyaombea msamaha kila mtu na uzito wake!!
 
Himawari

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Himawari

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That is what l was thinking. Labda ingekuwa dont share with just any friend but someone you real trust. Maana kweli waweza explode.
Very true..., sharing with (some) family members is very important. Sometimes it is better to share your marital problems with people very close to you (blood sister)..., to know the hell you are going through. Sio vizuri sana kufa na tai yako shingoni. Kuna matatizo mengine kwenye ndoa (familia) hayatatuliki kirahisi kama thread inavyosomeka.
 

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