Kutoka Upenzi hadi Uadui

AIZAK said:

Ndugu ahsante sana kwa topic nzuri,siku zote wapenzi hawagombani kwa kile wanachofikiria hugombania.
Na wala si mambo yale makubwa manne;pesa,watoto,mapenzi au wakwe..Wapenzi wengi hugombana kwa sababu bila ya kudhamiria husababishiana aibu na uoga kati yao.

Kwa sababu ya unyonge au uoga wa mwanamke, mwanaume typically hujibu with protection/support.
Lakini iwapo mwanaume hajui kuprotect/support or feels like a failure as a protector, he is likely to turn the aggression kwa mwanamke (mara nyingi katika form of criticism, "superior reasoning," control, etc.) au kuongoza by withdrawing in frustration (stonewalling or going quiet). Hasira au uwithdrawal wa mmwanaume often stimulates anxiety or fear of isolation in women, hata kama hasira ya mwanaume haina uhusiano wowote na mwanamke

Kwa ujumla mwanaume is likely kuzuia discussion yoyote, be critical, defensive, or contemptuous if he experiences or is trying to avoid the experience of failure as a provider, protector, or lover. A woman is likely to be critical, defensive, or contemptuous if she experiences (or is reminded of having experienced) fear of harm, isolation, or deprivation.

sasa kama wapenzi wasipoweza kuelewa hizi unconscious, interactive dynamic waweza kufikiria wana matatizo ya mawasiliano and will likely continue to provoke anxiety and shame in each other as they try to talk. They will begin to think that they have a bad, insensitive, or selfish partner, and eventually give up on the relationship without understanding the primitive emotional mechanism that did the real damage.

ahsante sana mtoa mada.

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LD said:

Hasira, kinyongo, kutokusamehe vinasababisha hayo.cha kufanya ni mtu kujitaidi kuamini mtu uliyekutana naye ukubwani hawezi kufanya maisha yako yasiendelee. Achana nae raha jipe mwenyewe maisha lazima yaendelee!!

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Gaga said:

Walikuwa hawajapendana hao, hawajui kuna kitu kinaitwa kusamehe?

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Mhafidhina said:

LD,

Ulichosema ni kweli kabisa...! Hasira, kinyongo na kutosamehe huwa vinachangia sana katika kuharibika kwa mapenzi...! Swali linabaki, je ni vipi mtu anaweza kujifunza kusamehe, kupunguza hasira, na kuondokana na kinyongo? Manake hivyo ndio vyanzo vya matatizo yote kabisa sio katika mapenzi na mahusiano tu, bali hata makazini, maofisini hata mitaani pia. Endelea kujadili tafadhali...!

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Mhafidhina said:

Wanajamii nawasalimia wote, wakubwa kwa wadogo, Wake kwa Waume...!

Naomba kuuliza, hivi huwa ni kitu gani kinachochea au kinasababisha wapenzi waliokua wakipendana kwa dhati na hatimaye kubadilika na kuwa maadui kwa kuchukiana hadi kutamani kuuana, kutishiana maisha, kupigana, kuumizana, kufunguliana kesi na hata kupelekana polisi n.k.?

Nasema hivi kwasababu nimeshuhudia watu waliokua wakipendana tena walikua wamevalishana hadi pete za uchumba sasa wameishia kuwa Maadui kiasi kwamba wanatamani hata kutoana roho...!

Pengine labda mnaweza kuchangia au kutoa ufafanuzi, ni nini haswa huleta hali kama hii katika mahusiano? Na hali kama hii inaweza kukabiliwa vipi?

Natoa haja.

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SaidAlly said:

Coz LOVE and HATE are similar but moving with the same speed to different directions. When things goes wrong, then efforts turn opposite and moving on same speed. Meaning: The power used in LOVE change to HATE. Je? Hushangai Mwanaume kumpata Mwanamke aliye kuwa akimtokea mwanzo anamtukana?? Mapenzi Kizungumkuti!

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AIZAK said:

Ndugu ahsante sana kwa topic nzuri,siku zote wapenzi hawagombani kwa kile wanachofikiria hugombania.
Na wala si mambo yale makubwa manne;pesa,watoto,mapenzi au wakwe..Wapenzi wengi hugombana kwa sababu bila ya kudhamiria husababishiana aibu na uoga kati yao.

Kwa sababu ya unyonge au uoga wa mwanamke, mwanaume typically hujibu with protection/support.
Lakini iwapo mwanaume hajui kuprotect/support or feels like a failure as a protector, he is likely to turn the aggression kwa mwanamke (mara nyingi katika form of criticism, "superior reasoning," control, etc.) au kuongoza by withdrawing in frustration (stonewalling or going quiet). Hasira au uwithdrawal wa mmwanaume often stimulates anxiety or fear of isolation in women, hata kama hasira ya mwanaume haina uhusiano wowote na mwanamke

Kwa ujumla mwanaume is likely kuzuia discussion yoyote, be critical, defensive, or contemptuous if he experiences or is trying to avoid the experience of failure as a provider, protector, or lover. A woman is likely to be critical, defensive, or contemptuous if she experiences (or is reminded of having experienced) fear of harm, isolation, or deprivation.

sasa kama wapenzi wasipoweza kuelewa hizi unconscious, interactive dynamic waweza kufikiria wana matatizo ya mawasiliano and will likely continue to provoke anxiety and shame in each other as they try to talk. They will begin to think that they have a bad, insensitive, or selfish partner, and eventually give up on the relationship without understanding the primitive emotional mechanism that did the real damage.

ahsante sana mtoa mada.

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LD said:

Kwanza tujifunze kurahisha maisha, mtu kakukosea hata kama ulikuwa hutegemei jaribu kuona kwamba huyo mtu humfahamu kiivo coz ameishi duniani let say miaka 30 we umekaa nae miaka 3 tu, kwa hiyo bado hicho kilichotokea hakiwezi kufanya maisha yako yasiendelee.
Jaribu kufikiria kwa nini uubebeshe moyo wako mzigo? Mpende akupendaye asiyekupenda achana nae aende kwa amani, usibebe watu moyoni mwako.

Daaa mi huwa naamini mwanadamu hanipunguzii kitu wala haniongezei kitu maishani mwangu kama Mungu hajamwezesha. Kwa hiyo ukiwa na mimi kwa amani ashukuriwe Mungu, Hauna amani na mimi nenda kwa amani tu, unakuwa binadamu wa kawaida. Na imenipa amani,sina maadui, ila kila mtu ana nafasi yake moyoni mwangu.

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LD said:

Hasira, kinyongo, kutokusamehe vinasababisha hayo.cha kufanya ni mtu kujitaidi kuamini mtu uliyekutana naye ukubwani hawezi kufanya maisha yako yasiendelee. Achana nae raha jipe mwenyewe maisha lazima yaendelee!!

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