lara 1
JF-Expert Member
- Jun 10, 2012
- 15,700
- 29,116
Igweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ujue msimu huu wa Valentine unawakumbuka watu wa ajabu ajabu, hahahaaaaaaaaaa! Leo bwana nimemkumbuka kiboko yangu mmoja hivi wa back in the days! Please be sensitive this is me we are talking today, atakae niponda asishange nimekuwa mbogo.
It all started with a party, nikaenda zangu kwenye party ile same boring people as always, tunachekeana usoni afu whats up tunasengenyana, every body appears to be happy, full of plastic smiles, and bubbly. Nothing spectacular nothing much happened. Kabla sijahitimisha ule ulikuwa upotevu wa muda mara nageuka huku nikamuona kaka mmoja mzuriiiiiiii hatari. Mmmmmh! Nikahisi nimeona vibaya. Nikageuka tena! Suddenly the evening got interesting. Nikawaambia wadau embu geukeni kwanza mumuone shemeji yenu. Wakakubali he was 10 over 10. Nikawaambia jamani tusiingiliane mi naingia kazini. Wakanijua juu weeeeeeeeee! Iweje wanaume wazuri wote ujibinafsishie! Haikubaliki. Sikiliza niwambie wadogo zangu humu kuna wanaume wengi iweje tumgomee huyo mmoja, embu tusionekane wehu! Wakasema kama nihivo sie tuachie huyo mmoja waliobaki wote chuku wewe. Mmmmmh! Mxiuuuuuu! Nikawaambia fine, vile mnanikosea mkubwa wenu adabu, its a free country, tuingie kazini, atakae ondoka na namba yake leo kashinda.
Mtu mwenyewe mcux kichizi, mimi nikabaki nimekaa pale kwenye meza sina ramani. Ikabidi nitumie all time ya kujipitisha kwanza jirani yake, kama hanioni! Tobaaaa! Nikarudi mbuzi mzee sina machejooo, sina nyimboo nikalaani kweli why i wasnt 19 anymore. Zikaja reject pale kuomba namba wacha niwatoe mdimaaa. Mwisho nikaishia kusali tu huenda Mungu anihurumie. Basi nikicheki madogo wanaongea nae kabisaa, nikasema hapa game over. Ninywe bia nisipate hasara kamili. Mara akaja pale, Tobaaaaaaaa! Maneno yakakauka, tukasalimiana pale, mi naomba Mungu tu achukue namba yangu. Mara midogo ikarudi inajichekesha chekesha niliwakanyaga chini ya meza hatari. Mwisho akaaga zake huyoo, hakuna namba wala ushuzi wa namba. Ndo nikajua utakuwa mwisho hivooo. Tukacheka tu basi.
Maisha yakaendelea, nilimuwza waza walau mwezi hivi, wacha niilaani mizimu ya kwetu kwa kunivua nguo na kuniadhiri. Baadae nikaja kupajua kazini kwake, sema mwaka ulikuwa ushapitaa, na mimi nishaona sio riziki, so nikapotezea tu. Ukapita mwaka mwingine ndo nikasahau sahau kabisaaaa. Nikatoka na watuwengine huko. Hamad siku hio jioni ikaingia sms. Mambo! Sikuifatiza sanaaa. Nikawa najibu tu, mara mie flani tutumie jina la grafani11, wa kwenye ile party. Tobaaaaaaa! Nikajiambia dont get your hopes high, 2 years zimepita. Nikamwambia okay.Basi ikawa salamu bin kusalimiana. Ikifika saa 3 nkaa kwenye kitanda ready to chat. Baada ya wiki ya kusalimiana nikasema this is not going anywhere ni wastage of my time. and energy. Ilikuwa akiianza yeye leo, kesho mie namuanza, hivo hivo. Ikafika siku ya mie kumuanza nikauchunaaa. Nae akachunaaa. Nikafuta namba na kundelea namaisha.
Ikapita wiki, akaanza mbona kimya sanaaa! Hahahaaaaa! Nikajishusha, safari hii siku hio hio akajiongeza karibu nyumbani kwangu, nikasema huyu average nunda nikidengua he might never ask again! Nikakubali mzima mzimaaaa! Kwa watu ambao ni naivee humu ndani mtaona mkaka akikualika kwake kapeenda, basi utapika na kupika, ila kwa sie ma born town nikaona huyu Nundaa manake anajua akikualika hotelini kwana utamtia shoti ya maana afu uhuru ule wa kuvunja mipaka hatakuwa nao, mtakaa kama mtu na kaka yake. Nyumbani shoka moja mbuyu chini. Ila maadam nishakubali kwenda nikawa too late to play smart. Katika maongezi maongezi akasema mimi sihongi, sijawahi na sitowahi, kama msichana anapenda hela she should fu.ck a banker! Tobaaaa. Niasema sasa hii nomaaa. Mkopo tenaaa. Mmmmh! Roho inaniambia nenda tuuu. Siku ya siku tuna chat akaniambia nakupitia hapo tukale kuku choma, nikamwambia nakuja barabarani. Oh nataka nije kukufata kwako. Nikamkazia. Tumeenda kwenye kuku bili inaletwa akatoa elfu kuni wakati bili 25. Akanigea. Nilitoa ile hela kwa uchunguuuuuuu kama mzazi. Njia nzima nimenywea kama piriton.
Nikarudi kwangu kesho ilikuwa zamu ya kumuanza siku muanza wala nini, nae akachuna, nikaenda saluni mchana kuna dogo anavodai she is 18 ila huenda hata ni 16, japo mdogo lakini mjamzito tumbo kuleee, akawa ananifumua nasonya tuuu. Ndo kuniuliza vipi? Shida ikikubana utamsimulia mpaka mbwa au paka. Nikawa nambemenda yule dogo sasa na mamngu yangu ya kikubwa. Nikamsimulia na bili ile wacha achekeeee! Akaniambia hamnaaa, huyo ana wasiwasi itakuwa katendwa sanaa, wewe ukitaka kumpatia jishushe. Mlambe miguu mbona utafurahiii. He is just pushing you away. Anakupenda sema ndo anataka wewe umkatae au umkereee. Mmmmh! Dogo mdogo lakini mzito. Nikamuuliza iweje wewe mdogo afu uyajue mahaba kunishinda mie? Akasema yeye toto la kimanyema mchanganyiko na Mnyamwezi. Nikarudi siku muanza wala nini. Kesho yake nika mtext, akachuna. Siku 3, sijibiwi. Mchaga nikasema mburaaaaaaaaaaa! Kinu kiyakombee, kinu cha mae (Tusi hili chonde chonde). Nikadelete kila kitu. Ikawa ndo hivo, ile tarehe ya ahadi ikapita. Nikawa namkumbuka tu, roho inaniumaaa.
Ghafla siku hio, akanitafuta tenaa, this time mkarimu ajabuuu. Akairudisha ile ofa ya kwenda kwake mezani kwa mara ingine, Mmmmmh! Sikudengua maana ningefanya kudengua ingeweza pita hata karne ndo anitafute tena. Wala hakuremba, hapo tuashaanza kuchat nasty, nasty , mwenyewe nilikuwa nishachoka haya mambo ya paka na panya, nishaamua nafata ushauri wa yule dogo, ku trust my instincts. Nikapanga nikifika mule kwake nitamkalia kihasara hasara, nitajimanua, nitamseduce mpaka aingie kingi. Siku ya siku akaniambia uje na wine, sikwenda na wine wala nini. Nimeenda roho mkononi nawaza mara anile Tigo huku nitalia na nani? Hahahahaa! Basi kufika ndo kuulizwa wine iko wapi? Nikazuga zuga, nimejilaza kwenye sofa kihasara hasara. Gauni fupi na bado nalivuta juu. Msinione kama malaya sanaa, nisingejiongeza pale nilikuwa mechi nishapotezaaa. Basi ndo kulalamika wine iko wapi mwanzo mwsho. Tukala pale mie nimejilaza tu, akaosha vyombo vyake. Akaja kakaa mbali, nikamfata huko huko namuwekea miguu, invitation to treaty za uhakika. Akashindwa uzalendoo. Mara mambo yapo kati akaghairi. Nikasema huyu shoga, si buree. Nikaaga zangu. Njiani ananiambia rudi tukalale wote. Mxiuuuuuuu! Nikaspa. Simu kila dakikaaa.
Ikakubalika siku ingine mambo yakawa fresh, na mambo anayawezaaa, nawaza tu ndo nishakopwaaa. Ila poa tu. ina hili wala lile mda wa kuondoka kanige wekundu wa kutoshaaa! Weeeeee! Sikuaminiii. Nikajifanya kuwakataa uwongo na kweli kusistiza mara moja kitu pochini. Basi ndo tukawa tunatoka toka,mahaba mahabani, na msimamo wake wote pesa yake nimeilaaaa, nilifika bei mwenzenu. Dunia ya Mungu, pesa za mzungu baada ya mda we grew apart. Ikawa badala mkikutana mpeane mambo mnaanza kesi zisizo na idadi. Tukakubaliana tuachane tu kishkaji, though we are still friends, best of friends. Tunaulizana who are you screwing now. Huyoooo! Si bora urudi kwangu tu. Hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! BEST FRIENDS! (Sio lazima muachane na drama nyingiiiii, au ndo kuwa maadui)
THE END! REALITY IS ALWAYS STRANGER THAN FICTION!
Ujue msimu huu wa Valentine unawakumbuka watu wa ajabu ajabu, hahahaaaaaaaaaa! Leo bwana nimemkumbuka kiboko yangu mmoja hivi wa back in the days! Please be sensitive this is me we are talking today, atakae niponda asishange nimekuwa mbogo.
It all started with a party, nikaenda zangu kwenye party ile same boring people as always, tunachekeana usoni afu whats up tunasengenyana, every body appears to be happy, full of plastic smiles, and bubbly. Nothing spectacular nothing much happened. Kabla sijahitimisha ule ulikuwa upotevu wa muda mara nageuka huku nikamuona kaka mmoja mzuriiiiiiii hatari. Mmmmmh! Nikahisi nimeona vibaya. Nikageuka tena! Suddenly the evening got interesting. Nikawaambia wadau embu geukeni kwanza mumuone shemeji yenu. Wakakubali he was 10 over 10. Nikawaambia jamani tusiingiliane mi naingia kazini. Wakanijua juu weeeeeeeeee! Iweje wanaume wazuri wote ujibinafsishie! Haikubaliki. Sikiliza niwambie wadogo zangu humu kuna wanaume wengi iweje tumgomee huyo mmoja, embu tusionekane wehu! Wakasema kama nihivo sie tuachie huyo mmoja waliobaki wote chuku wewe. Mmmmmh! Mxiuuuuuu! Nikawaambia fine, vile mnanikosea mkubwa wenu adabu, its a free country, tuingie kazini, atakae ondoka na namba yake leo kashinda.
Mtu mwenyewe mcux kichizi, mimi nikabaki nimekaa pale kwenye meza sina ramani. Ikabidi nitumie all time ya kujipitisha kwanza jirani yake, kama hanioni! Tobaaaa! Nikarudi mbuzi mzee sina machejooo, sina nyimboo nikalaani kweli why i wasnt 19 anymore. Zikaja reject pale kuomba namba wacha niwatoe mdimaaa. Mwisho nikaishia kusali tu huenda Mungu anihurumie. Basi nikicheki madogo wanaongea nae kabisaa, nikasema hapa game over. Ninywe bia nisipate hasara kamili. Mara akaja pale, Tobaaaaaaaa! Maneno yakakauka, tukasalimiana pale, mi naomba Mungu tu achukue namba yangu. Mara midogo ikarudi inajichekesha chekesha niliwakanyaga chini ya meza hatari. Mwisho akaaga zake huyoo, hakuna namba wala ushuzi wa namba. Ndo nikajua utakuwa mwisho hivooo. Tukacheka tu basi.
Maisha yakaendelea, nilimuwza waza walau mwezi hivi, wacha niilaani mizimu ya kwetu kwa kunivua nguo na kuniadhiri. Baadae nikaja kupajua kazini kwake, sema mwaka ulikuwa ushapitaa, na mimi nishaona sio riziki, so nikapotezea tu. Ukapita mwaka mwingine ndo nikasahau sahau kabisaaaa. Nikatoka na watuwengine huko. Hamad siku hio jioni ikaingia sms. Mambo! Sikuifatiza sanaaa. Nikawa najibu tu, mara mie flani tutumie jina la grafani11, wa kwenye ile party. Tobaaaaaaa! Nikajiambia dont get your hopes high, 2 years zimepita. Nikamwambia okay.Basi ikawa salamu bin kusalimiana. Ikifika saa 3 nkaa kwenye kitanda ready to chat. Baada ya wiki ya kusalimiana nikasema this is not going anywhere ni wastage of my time. and energy. Ilikuwa akiianza yeye leo, kesho mie namuanza, hivo hivo. Ikafika siku ya mie kumuanza nikauchunaaa. Nae akachunaaa. Nikafuta namba na kundelea namaisha.
Ikapita wiki, akaanza mbona kimya sanaaa! Hahahaaaaa! Nikajishusha, safari hii siku hio hio akajiongeza karibu nyumbani kwangu, nikasema huyu average nunda nikidengua he might never ask again! Nikakubali mzima mzimaaaa! Kwa watu ambao ni naivee humu ndani mtaona mkaka akikualika kwake kapeenda, basi utapika na kupika, ila kwa sie ma born town nikaona huyu Nundaa manake anajua akikualika hotelini kwana utamtia shoti ya maana afu uhuru ule wa kuvunja mipaka hatakuwa nao, mtakaa kama mtu na kaka yake. Nyumbani shoka moja mbuyu chini. Ila maadam nishakubali kwenda nikawa too late to play smart. Katika maongezi maongezi akasema mimi sihongi, sijawahi na sitowahi, kama msichana anapenda hela she should fu.ck a banker! Tobaaaa. Niasema sasa hii nomaaa. Mkopo tenaaa. Mmmmh! Roho inaniambia nenda tuuu. Siku ya siku tuna chat akaniambia nakupitia hapo tukale kuku choma, nikamwambia nakuja barabarani. Oh nataka nije kukufata kwako. Nikamkazia. Tumeenda kwenye kuku bili inaletwa akatoa elfu kuni wakati bili 25. Akanigea. Nilitoa ile hela kwa uchunguuuuuuu kama mzazi. Njia nzima nimenywea kama piriton.
Nikarudi kwangu kesho ilikuwa zamu ya kumuanza siku muanza wala nini, nae akachuna, nikaenda saluni mchana kuna dogo anavodai she is 18 ila huenda hata ni 16, japo mdogo lakini mjamzito tumbo kuleee, akawa ananifumua nasonya tuuu. Ndo kuniuliza vipi? Shida ikikubana utamsimulia mpaka mbwa au paka. Nikawa nambemenda yule dogo sasa na mamngu yangu ya kikubwa. Nikamsimulia na bili ile wacha achekeeee! Akaniambia hamnaaa, huyo ana wasiwasi itakuwa katendwa sanaa, wewe ukitaka kumpatia jishushe. Mlambe miguu mbona utafurahiii. He is just pushing you away. Anakupenda sema ndo anataka wewe umkatae au umkereee. Mmmmh! Dogo mdogo lakini mzito. Nikamuuliza iweje wewe mdogo afu uyajue mahaba kunishinda mie? Akasema yeye toto la kimanyema mchanganyiko na Mnyamwezi. Nikarudi siku muanza wala nini. Kesho yake nika mtext, akachuna. Siku 3, sijibiwi. Mchaga nikasema mburaaaaaaaaaaa! Kinu kiyakombee, kinu cha mae (Tusi hili chonde chonde). Nikadelete kila kitu. Ikawa ndo hivo, ile tarehe ya ahadi ikapita. Nikawa namkumbuka tu, roho inaniumaaa.
Ghafla siku hio, akanitafuta tenaa, this time mkarimu ajabuuu. Akairudisha ile ofa ya kwenda kwake mezani kwa mara ingine, Mmmmmh! Sikudengua maana ningefanya kudengua ingeweza pita hata karne ndo anitafute tena. Wala hakuremba, hapo tuashaanza kuchat nasty, nasty , mwenyewe nilikuwa nishachoka haya mambo ya paka na panya, nishaamua nafata ushauri wa yule dogo, ku trust my instincts. Nikapanga nikifika mule kwake nitamkalia kihasara hasara, nitajimanua, nitamseduce mpaka aingie kingi. Siku ya siku akaniambia uje na wine, sikwenda na wine wala nini. Nimeenda roho mkononi nawaza mara anile Tigo huku nitalia na nani? Hahahahaa! Basi kufika ndo kuulizwa wine iko wapi? Nikazuga zuga, nimejilaza kwenye sofa kihasara hasara. Gauni fupi na bado nalivuta juu. Msinione kama malaya sanaa, nisingejiongeza pale nilikuwa mechi nishapotezaaa. Basi ndo kulalamika wine iko wapi mwanzo mwsho. Tukala pale mie nimejilaza tu, akaosha vyombo vyake. Akaja kakaa mbali, nikamfata huko huko namuwekea miguu, invitation to treaty za uhakika. Akashindwa uzalendoo. Mara mambo yapo kati akaghairi. Nikasema huyu shoga, si buree. Nikaaga zangu. Njiani ananiambia rudi tukalale wote. Mxiuuuuuuu! Nikaspa. Simu kila dakikaaa.
Ikakubalika siku ingine mambo yakawa fresh, na mambo anayawezaaa, nawaza tu ndo nishakopwaaa. Ila poa tu. ina hili wala lile mda wa kuondoka kanige wekundu wa kutoshaaa! Weeeeee! Sikuaminiii. Nikajifanya kuwakataa uwongo na kweli kusistiza mara moja kitu pochini. Basi ndo tukawa tunatoka toka,mahaba mahabani, na msimamo wake wote pesa yake nimeilaaaa, nilifika bei mwenzenu. Dunia ya Mungu, pesa za mzungu baada ya mda we grew apart. Ikawa badala mkikutana mpeane mambo mnaanza kesi zisizo na idadi. Tukakubaliana tuachane tu kishkaji, though we are still friends, best of friends. Tunaulizana who are you screwing now. Huyoooo! Si bora urudi kwangu tu. Hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! BEST FRIENDS! (Sio lazima muachane na drama nyingiiiii, au ndo kuwa maadui)
THE END! REALITY IS ALWAYS STRANGER THAN FICTION!
