We want respect in every aspect of our lives, our relationships, and our job.
Simply put, we want to be appreciated for what we do. We want to be recognized for our good qualities and what makes us improve the lives of others.
When our colleagues and families respect us, we know they take us seriously. We feel like we’re in control.
If you want to be respected by other people, never talk about these 11 things.
Let’s explore them!
1) Your views on gender and sexualityYes, these two things should be openly discussed everywhere, but the reality is that they are not.
Most people agree: others can identify as whatever they prefer, whether that has to do with gender or sexual orientation.
Unfortunately, not everybody shares these views, and that’s why it isn’t a great idea to talk about it in certain contexts, for example, in a new job or with people you haven’t met beforehand.
In some cases, the topic has nothing to do with your role in the place. For example, the office wouldn’t be a good context to have a debate on gender or sexuality in general.
Be strategic when talking about these two things, and make sure to have a conversation with people who will not judge you.
2) Your take on conspiracy theoriesThis is a problematic topic because it can quickly cause people to look at you like you’ve gone crazy. It’s something you don’t have to talk about just anywhere.
If you want to be respected at work, for example, you have to think about the professionals that surround you. They’re most likely not your friends but colleagues.
If you don’t, you risk being perceived as eccentric or downright crazy, which can’t be good.
3) Your opinions on politicsI enjoy researching politics, and I try to keep up with what’s going on in the world. I also have strong opinions on the topic.
But even then, you won’t hear me talking about it openly or saying who I am going to vote for or my favorite political party.
The reason is that this topic can be truly incendiary. Talking about politics is bound to cause arguments, even among people who think similarly.
This goes for many different things, but I know that I get riled up the second somebody brings up politics.
My opinions are pretty much set, and since nobody can change them, I avoid the discussion.
That would be creating unnecessary tension in settings where we’re all having a good time. I prefer to have debates with the people I trust.
4) Your religious beliefs or upbringingReligion is another hot topic that is best left alone. We have, to this day, wars based on religious differences, unfortunately.
Discussing this in public is looking for trouble. You have every right to practice whatever religion you feel most called to, but if you keep quiet, you’re generally in a better place. Even safer, I’d say, for some people.
You don’t know what other people believe in. Some people have violent views, and they will harm others in the name of their deity or their ideas. I’ve seen it happen.
As a general rule, I’d say people need to keep it down and enjoy their religion without disturbing others.
5) Your problems or complaintsYes, you can rely on your friends, but not everybody has to listen to you. I’d say that all of us have problems of our own.
If you’re feeling something extreme, like depression, or too much anxiety, it’s best to see a professional. Your friends can be your support net, but they are not your therapist either.
Imagine if a stranger came up to you on the train and started crying about their life, complaining about everything that’s going wrong. What would you do?
Also, isn’t it strange when you see people venting online about the latest breakup or their awful job?
Everyone can have a bad day, but it’s important to find healthy coping mechanisms to manage our emotions. Social media and colleagues or strangers are not it.
6) Your use of drugs and alcohol
I feel like it’s not necessary to state this, but people often forget it, and I’ve seen it happen at the workplace and between people I met minutes ago.
Your colleagues aren’t your friends or family. They work with you in a professional setting. This means that you should stay professional as well. Drugs and alcohol are not two things associated with this type of context.
I want to highlight that it doesn’t matter if these are legal where you live. The point is to take care of your reputation and image by not mentioning how high you were on Sunday or how drunk you got at the last party you went to.
7) The mistakes you’ve seen other people makeSomebody that’s hypercritical isn’t exactly liked by others, is it? It doesn’t matter how they start their criticism, of course.
For example, somebody that says, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I think you should…” is always saying something that will annoy the other person. There’s no logic behind it; letting other people know you’re going to be rude is not the right path.
Instead, try to only criticize the critical mistakes and try to do so in a constructive way. You don’t want to come off as a jerk about such things or inconsiderate of the other person’s feelings.
8) Your relationship with moneyIt doesn’t matter if you’re a millionaire or if you’re completely broke. Money is not something to argue about over lunch with your colleagues. Those who do it are often seen as uncomfortable to be around, if not worse.
The thing is that nobody cares about how much you make or how much is left after paying taxes. Nobody wants to know that about other people, not really.
Those who have money and don’t show it off are better liked by everyone. Of course, this doesn’t mean that I am a hater. Good for you if you don’t have money problems, but let’s not brag about it, please?
It’s especially uncomfortable when one person is showing off how much money they have and the other has to say, “I can’t afford this thing.” It makes for an awkward moment that makes the person with money look terrible.
9) Your relationship with your bodyBy this, I mean diets you’ve done, cleanses, exercises, etc. It’s tiring for everyone, and it doesn’t even work for everyone.
People with different health issues don’t need to hear how a lemon juice cleanse cures you from an illness, and they’re probably seeing a doctor already. You don’t have anyone’s medical history at hand to give health advice.
It’s even worse when someone is taking care of a sick family member, and they hear people’s misguided advice. I get that it’s never with a bad intention, but this is a topic that doesn’t have a place in a good conversation.
Yes, miracle diets and juice cleanses might work, but it’s not great to start preaching how good they are to everyone. Plus, people might have different opinions, and it becomes an argument quickly.
10) Your beliefs about other peopleLabeling people isn’t an excellent way to gain respect, and it never will be. People don’t like to be categorized into boxes.
So, when you use words like “never,” “always,” “everyone,” or “nobody,” they get defensive. And with good reason!
It doesn’t matter how well you put it. It never reads as something nice.
For example, if you say to a friend, “You never pay for our meals together,” or “You always want to split the bill when you order a steak,” they will probably not accept what you’re saying.
To avoid falling into generalizations, it’s good to focus on the problem and not the person.
You can say things like, “I would rather not split the bill this time,” or “Let’s take turns paying for each other’s meals from now on.” You’re saying the same thing but in a much more effective way.
11) Your medical historyHealth problems, like chronic illness, are not a source of joy. It’s good to seek empathy and support from others, but it’s also a tricky topic to bring up.
If you’re at work, for example, people can think that you’re not able to do your job properly because of your health issues.
Of course, this isn’t right, and it shouldn’t happen. It still does, and this is why you need to take precautions even if you feel like it’s not fair.
I’ve been there, and I was left behind and people who had less experience than me but didn’t bring up their health problems at work.
This also applies to mental health issues, like anxiety or depression. It’s not a good idea to talk about the medication you take or your change in therapy or psychiatrist. People discriminate, and you normally won’t be able to denounce the situation for what it is.
To sum upWe all have our frustrating, sad, or downright bad days. Being asked how your morning was on such occasions can be annoying, but you can keep it together and answer kindly.
What we choose to keep to ourselves is as important as what we say in our relationships.
Try to remember what makes people feel bad, and also take note of the little compliments and actions that light them up. You will gain respect a lot more easily than with a bad attitude.