Verdy CB
Senior Member
- Mar 19, 2013
- 149
- 67
Nmezikuta TOTD, Nkaona nwaletee wadau pia tucheke kwa pamoja
A guy in a hurry used the
ladies 'toilet in a posh
hotel'.. He sat down and
noticed four buttons -
WW, WA, PP & APR.
Curious, he pressed WW & his butt
was gently
sprayed with WARM
WATER,
he loved it so much!
He then pressed WA & a
blast of WARM AIR dried him up.
Still
loving it, He
pressed PP & a
POWDER PUFF to make him
smell fresh. Feeling
pampered, he decided to
press the last button APR.
He later woke up in a
hospital.
A nurse smiled & said to
him, Sir, APR means
AUTOMATIC PAD REMOVER. When the
machine couldn't find a pad on you, it went
for your balls.
Your balls are in the jar
over there
A teacher, a thief and a lawyer all die in the same freak accident. So when they reach the pearly gates, St. Peter tells them that, unfortunately, heaven is overcrowded. So they each have to answer a question correctly for admission.
The teacher is first, and St. Peter asks, Name the famous ship that was sunk by aniceberg?
Phew, that ones easy, says the teacher, The Titanic.
Alright, said St.Peter, you may pass.
Then the thief got his question: How many died on the Titanic?
The thief replied, Thats a toughy, but fortunately I just saw the movie. The answer is 1500 people. And so he passed through.
Last, St. Peter gave the lawyer his question:
Name them.
There was this virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it.
Her grandmother says, "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys, "He is going to try to kiss you; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that."
She continued, "He is going to try to feel your breast; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that. He is going to try to put his hand between your legs; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that.
Then the grandmother said, "But, most importantly, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don't let him do that. It will disgrace the family."
With that bit of advice in mind, the granddaughter went on her date and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it.
The next day she told her grandmother that her date went just as the old lady said.
She said, "Grandmother, I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I turned him over, got on top of him and disgraced his family."
A guy in a hurry used the
ladies 'toilet in a posh
hotel'.. He sat down and
noticed four buttons -
WW, WA, PP & APR.
Curious, he pressed WW & his butt
was gently
sprayed with WARM
WATER,
he loved it so much!
He then pressed WA & a
blast of WARM AIR dried him up.
Still
loving it, He
pressed PP & a
POWDER PUFF to make him
smell fresh. Feeling
pampered, he decided to
press the last button APR.
He later woke up in a
hospital.
A nurse smiled & said to
him, Sir, APR means
AUTOMATIC PAD REMOVER. When the
machine couldn't find a pad on you, it went
for your balls.
Your balls are in the jar
over there
A teacher, a thief and a lawyer all die in the same freak accident. So when they reach the pearly gates, St. Peter tells them that, unfortunately, heaven is overcrowded. So they each have to answer a question correctly for admission.
The teacher is first, and St. Peter asks, Name the famous ship that was sunk by aniceberg?
Phew, that ones easy, says the teacher, The Titanic.
Alright, said St.Peter, you may pass.
Then the thief got his question: How many died on the Titanic?
The thief replied, Thats a toughy, but fortunately I just saw the movie. The answer is 1500 people. And so he passed through.
Last, St. Peter gave the lawyer his question:
Name them.
There was this virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it.
Her grandmother says, "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys, "He is going to try to kiss you; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that."
She continued, "He is going to try to feel your breast; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that. He is going to try to put his hand between your legs; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that.
Then the grandmother said, "But, most importantly, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don't let him do that. It will disgrace the family."
With that bit of advice in mind, the granddaughter went on her date and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it.
The next day she told her grandmother that her date went just as the old lady said.
She said, "Grandmother, I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I turned him over, got on top of him and disgraced his family."