Am I wrong if I process divorce?

Hello,
I have always been reading threads without commenting. Kwanini nimeanzisha hii thread?

I am a married lady..in my very early 30s( with over 11 years of marriage experience). I got married when I was in my early 20s. Graduated my masters in my very early 20s as well.

It has never been a peaceful marriage pamoja na jitihada nyingi nilizofanya mimi kuisimamia na kujinyenyekeza kwa kuweka elimu na appearance yangu pembeni. Kifupi tu ya ninayopitia;

1. Being heavily beaten mpaka kulazwa whenever he drinks( mind you, he is a regular drinker)

2. Hakuwahi kuja msiba wa baba yangu mzazi sababu kuu 'alikuwa na washkaji trip'

3. Sijui sh.yake japo anajenga..so i pay for house and family needs mpaka nilipojua ameandikisha hio nyumba jina la ndugu yake

4. Gari pia nilimpa hela akaninunulie yard hapa mjini karudi kaiweka jina lake. Sio kwamba hana hela..no he is financially stable.( sijui ananikomoa nini na sijawahi kutishia kuondoka wala nini-kwa wanaonijua nje wanaweza kuthibitisha hili)

5. Restrictions with my dress code. Anataka nishone vitenge mpaka miguuni. Ana wivu wa ajabu sana na mimi kupendeza au hata kusuka nywele hataki. Hataki nivae suruali,jeans and he found me wearing all those.He wants me rough NOW na anasema nataka kupendeza kwa ajili ya nani? Ananitumia mpaka threads sijui za wanawake 'wenye makalio makubwa hawana akili' nijitathmini na mimi(he picks everything from the internet). Hili halinisumbui sana because i know nina akili ya shule na maisha pia

6. Sex life is bad..very bad( nilishakamata mengi kwenye simu yake). And to be honest it is better this way..kwamba hatushiriki like normal married couples miezi minne sasa na wala hajali yani sawa tu kwake. Binafsi nitavumilia sababu afya yangu matters a lot

7. Sijawahi kumjibu chochote, ninaomba msamaha hata ninapokosewa, ninaandaa bedroom na scents nzuri, napika napeleka mtoto kwa dada yangu for sleep over ili tupate muda fulani ila ndio anarudi alfajiri na asubuhi ananiuliza nani kanifundisha mambo ya kihuni. Vikao vilishakaliwa mno..i know for a fact, he won't change.

8. I have shared my case kwa mtu mmoja tu,a man lately..ambae amekuwa so concerned na sijui tutaenda nae wapi as am beginning to fall in love na yeye(najua inabidi niwe muangalifu kwa wanaokuja kusikitika na mimi kumbe amenitamani tu kutokana na physical appearance and all that)

Sijaacha kuwa msafi..sijaacha kujipenda BUT i am dying deep down. NO LOVE NO SUPPORT hata ile kidogo na sijamuongelesha kwa mara ya kwanza toka anipige miezi 4 iliopita na kulazwa(sababu hapa ilikuwa sikuvaa nguo kama madira ambapo kazini siwezi kuvaa japo navaa kiheshima sana yet smart)na kisha kurudi nyumbani baada ya kusuluhishwa..hajui naishi vipi japo nina kazi yangu ni kama KAKA NA DADA.

Our wedding was a church wedding. NIMECHOKA. Sijui naanzia wapi kutoka but ninahitaji kutoka kwenye hiki kifungo

I believe atakuja kunifukuza kwenye nyumba alioiandika jina la ndugu yake. Maana hapa ni kama mpangaji na hela anayo mpaka ya kunywa ma hennessy kila weekend. I am a God fearing person deep down..sana! Sikuwahi kuwaza kwanini wengine wananunuaga viwanja pembeni..na nilikuwa mtu wa kwanza kupinga wanawake wa aina hii.

Ninasukumwa kuanza 'ku save kidogokidogo' na kupunguza kulisha familia ili nijipange na kibanda changu japo najiuliza mpaka nimefanikiwa kumaliza kujenga sio leo wala kesho i assume(kutokana na nachoki earn) na nitakuwa tortured kwa level ipi mpaka nimalize kujenga. Niko confused hasa

But I need advice..ninachanganyikiwa hata kazini performance inashuka.
Kindly advice

Sijasoma yote lkn wewe mwenzetu umelogwa acha upumbavu. Unasubiri divorce ya nini? Ili iweje yaani? Huna maamuzi binafsi hadi jamii ikuamulie?

Unashindwa nini kumuacha uondoke then ushughulike na divorce baadae? Hata tukikushauri hapa hutatekeleza ushauri wetu utaendelea kugandana hapo.

We baki na msela wako, hilo ndo chaguo lako ndoa ni uvumilivu, vumilia dada..thawabu utaipata mbinguni. Ukiachika tutakucheka utakosa heshima kwenye jamii kifupi utadharaulika. Shikilia hapo hapo udundwe hadi akili ikukae sawa.
God fearing my foot.

Pole kwa yanayokusibu.It seems like you married the wrong person.

Ushauri wangu ni huu:
You are still young and its not late to start over. Ondoka asije kukuua kwa kipigo sio maradhi tu.Fikiria maslahi yako na ya mwanao.Huwezi kumbadilisha mtu ambae hataki kubadilika.

NB:Usikurupuke kuingia kwenye mahusiano mapya!

Hongera ( 11 yrs) wengine mahusiano ya kuwa exploited ikiisha wiki shetani anashangaa...

Pol e sana kwa unayoyapitia mkuu, kiukweli una moyo wa kipekee, kudundwa hadi kulazwa na bado unawaza utoe talaka ama vipi? talaka itakufuata. for the sake of your baby and yourself bora uondoke tu mapema uanze upya. hatujaumbiwa mateso ila tunayataka wenyewe,,,kuvumilia kupo ila ikiwa too much jiongeze dada angu,,,ukifa watakaoumia ni watoto na nduguzo ukijumlisha wazazi wako. chukua hatua mapema na since you are a God fearing person, milango itafunguka tu na kazini utendaji utakuwa sawa.

cha muhimu usimuache Mungu.

Umeolewa na play boy. Utaumia maisha yako yote ,Kumtuliza mwanaume huyo labda apate ushauri nasaha. Wengi waliathiriwa kwa kuwakosa wanawake waliowapenda sana .Tafuta rafiki yake anaweza akakuelezea mitazamo ya mwenza wako alafu utaamua kusuka au kunyoa.

Your husband is toxic in nature na hajiamini ndio maana ana hurt feelings zako, nikupe Pole we live once huyo kakufanya mtumwa kila jambo ufanye wewe na akupangie kuvaa mhhh nikupe pole wallah. Be strong asije kukusaababishia magonjwa kwa kupuuza ujinga wake na uenjoy life.

Hiyo number nane tafta huyo kipoozeo, naacha kutoa Hela ya nyumba ujenge yako pia achana na blah blah za church wedding bila furaha ni useless ibada ya Kwanza huanzia nyumbani

Ngoja ufe ndo utajua unatokaje, ninyi ndo yale makundi ya watu mnaamini kuteseka na kutaabika ni mipango ya Mungu, hata hivyo pamoja na elimu na maarifa mengi uliyonayo kuna kitu kimepungua kwako ni kwamba "WEWE HUJIPENDI" na hujawahi jikubali.

Bizzoo1 said:

Umeolewa na play boy. Utaumia maisha yako yote ,Kumtuliza mwanaume huyo labda apate ushauri nasaha. Wengi waliathiriwa kwa kuwakosa wanawake waliowapenda sana .Tafuta rafiki yake anaweza akakuelezea mitazamo ya mwenza wako alafu utaamua kusuka au kunyoa.

Click to expand...

marafiki wa kiumeni kusema siri ya rafiki ni ngumu sana,, miaka 11 inatosha kwa yeye kuamua kunyoa ama kusuka ...ingekuwa mimi ningeshanyoa kitamboooo na wakati huu ni miluzi ya furaha tu naimba na kumtukuza Jehovah kwa kunifungua akili nikiwa na nguvu.

kuna maisha nje ya ndoa hakika.

jje's said:

marafiki wa kiumeni kusema siri ya rafiki ni ngumu sana,, miaka 11 inatosha kwa yeye kuamua kunyoa ama kusuka ...ingekuwa mimi ningeshanyoa kitamboooo na wakati huu ni miluzi ya furaha tu naimba na kumtukuza Jehovah kwa kunifungua akili nikiwa na nguvu.

kuna maisha nje ya ndoa hakika.

Click to expand...

Hapa wamekutana pair tofauti kabisa huyu mume ni gangstar love huyu mwingine ana true love . Malezi ya kijana atakuwa kalelewa na baba tu sasa kijana kakopi uhuni wa baba kamwe hawezi kushow love .

Nimesoma Kwa uchungu I can feel your pain Dada pole Sana I hope hautakurukupa katika mamuzi na mwisho utafanya chaguo sahihi kwa ajili ya furaha na uhai wako kwa mda uliobakia hapa Dunia


This is worst situations unayopitia I ever seeen very bad

Nikupongeze sana Dada yangu kawa Kuwa na hofu ya mungu nanina amini hata hili litapita


Remember how about your baby

Pole Sana,
Ndoa zina shida na raha,,upendo wa kweli hudhihirika wakati wa shida na mateso.

Je,tukiwapenda watupendao twafanya ziada gani?
Wapendeni wote,waombeeni wanaowaudhi.

Zidi kuomba,usichoke..
Ipo siku atabadilika,,,kuwa mwaminifu na msihi Mungu ambadilishe.

Nb: Sikushauri uvunje ndoa yako.

SITIWAHI KUISHI NA MWANAUME MWENYE TABIA ZA HVYO! never!!. Ondoka mwana mama!!! Ukiishi ndo imepita hyo kwahyo usichezee maisha yako kizembe! Hauna furaha, hauna amani, sasa unakaaje hapa duniani? Ondoka na utafte talaka!!

Ndoa ni mtego kwa wale wasiopendana kwa dhati lakini ni darasa la upendo kwa waliofunga kibwebwe cha kupendana...

Dada kama haya yote uliyoyaeleza ni hakika, huna haja ya kuendelea na ndoa

Bizzoo1 said:

Hapa wamekutana pair tofauti kabisa huyu mume ni gangstar love huyu mwingine ana true love . Malezi ya kijana atakuwa kalelewa na baba tu sasa kijana kakopi uhuni wa baba kamwe hawezi kushow love .

Click to expand...

ila bi dada hajiongezi wala hajipendi

mimi ninavyojipenda na kutamani kuishi miaka mingi ya furaha na amani ningeshajiongeza,,,kaburini nitaenda alone so sitaki fujo za maisha bhana.. we only live once and for that reason, we have to live happily.

Sincerely said:

Huyo sio mume ni muhuni, Usiogope kufanya maamuzi for your own good, mtu ambae hajali hisia zako wala hajali ypur presence as a wife ndani ya nyumba ni hatari, bad enough he beats you to that extent

Kwa kifupi aba mahusiano nje, kama uvumilivu tayari umemvumilia vya kutosha na ndugu wamewasuluhisha ila hakuna mabadiliko, hatua ya mwisho ni kwenda kanisani kama ulivyosema mmefunga ndoa ya kikiristo, wataarifu biongozi wako wa kiroho then usepe wala usitake upatanisho tena atakuua huyo

4months no dyudyu hiyo sio ndoa mpendwa

Jipange kwa kidogo ulichonacho ukaanze maisha yako, life is too short usijibebeshe mzigo usiuweza

Click to expand...

Anakera

Demi said:

Anakera

Click to expand...

Amekutana na bahati mbaya kwa kweli, aachene kabisa na hiyo ndoa, atakufa kabla ya siku si zake

Saint Anne said:

Pole Sana,
Ndoa zina shida na raha,,upendo wa kweli hudhihirika wakati wa shida na mateso.

Je,tukiwapenda watupendao twafanya ziada gani?
Wapendeni wote,waombeeni wanaowaudhi.

Zidi kuomba,usichoke..
Ipo siku atabadilika,,,kuwa mwaminifu na msihi Mungu ambadilishe.

Nb: Sikushauri uvunje ndoa yako.

Sent using Jamii Forums mobile app

Click to expand...

Siku akirudishwa kwao kwenye jeneza utapiga vigelegele. Kama bado hujaolewa nakuombea upate janadume la hivyo

Sincerely said:

Amekutana na bahati mbaya kwa kweli, aachene kabisa na hiyo ndoa, atakufa kabla ya siku si zake

Click to expand...

Uvumilivu wake sio wa kawaida, Ila nakwambia huyo dada haondoki hapo... miaka nenda rudi atakuwepo hapo hapo. Tunapoteza muda kumshauri