One of the lessons---how you deal with conflicts.
Abreak- up can at times be devastating because it is viewed as a failure. However, if we pay attention, a break-up can provide valuable lessons to maybe propel us to a next great relationship.
So if a relationship has ended, grieve its end, but don’t miss these valuable lessons.
You don’t truly know someone even after being with them for many years
No the intent is in no way to scare you, but here’s a thought, everyday we still learn things about ourselves. Another person will be no different, after sometime you may have an idea of things they may or may not do. Their likes, interest and all such related things but learning about someone doesn’t come to an end at a point, as long as you are in relationship with someone you will always discover new things about them.
Relationships are not fairytales that we see in the movies
You don’t run off to a happy ever after, it takes effort, as two individuals with different personalities at times, come together in a relationship. It requires an understanding to accept each other without constantly trying to change your partner. Relationships face external stressors and internal stressors from economic pressure to child care and health issues. Relationships are a mix of good, bad and indifferent times. Unfortunately, the picket fence with the two children and a dog is just not reality. Entering a relationship with realistic expectations of reality would lend itself to greater chances of enduring these inevitable stressors at times.
Conflict will occur in a relaltionship
Once you exist in the same space, there will be times of conflict. Conflict is usually regarded as bad, but it’s not in and of itself. It is how you deal with it that makes it bad. Conflict if addressed the right way can enhance understanding of each partner in a relationship. So the next time you face conflict, don’t avoid it, but embrace in a respectful way and allow a deeper understanding of each other from working through it.
Having similar life values is necessary
We often hear opposites attract.
Can you imagine a frugal person with a spendthrift how well that will work?
There wouldn’t be a matching of all values ultimately in any relationship. Even if it did, even then there may be conflict from being too alike!
It is still necessary to consider the values that matter the most to you and ensure that your partner shares similar values. It would make for a happier life.
Forgiveness is necessary all the time.
If you don’t intend to practice forgiveness your relationship may very well be short-lived. There will be instances of things that you or your partner may do unintentionally that causes hurt. Discussing and agreeing to forgive and not continuously bring it up is necessary for a relationship survival.
Communication is the glue to a relationship.
We are programmed to sometimes talk without listening. However, listening is part of communication. When listening, we should not do so to think of what we are going to say, but should listen to hear what your partner is saying.
When conflict occurs it is necessary to communicate and share with each partner listening respectfully, many times relationships are ruined because of misunderstandings that could have been clarified through communicating.
Appreciation is necessary in relationships
It is easy after being in a relationship for a period of time to take your spouse for granted, appreciation for their efforts in even the smallest of things would grow and nourish the partnership. Determine every day to say or do something, even the smallest of things to demonstrate appreciation.
Determine not to quit
In entering a long term relationship or marriage in particular, begin with the intention not to quit, if you don’t, at the first sign of trouble you will.
Both parties should commit themselves to doing so, knowing that difficult moments will come, yet a willingness to persist exist between both partners.
Never encourage a third party in relationship
There are certain realms of a relationship that should be kept between both parties only. There is at times the tendency to relate every disagreement or thought to someone else and this leads to a marriage of third party.
The results of continuously seeking outside advice and not communicating with your partner can lead to problems. It doesn’t mean you can’t consult with someone on particular matters that arise in the relationship, but it would be wise to have an agreed upon person identified by both partners.
Love unconditionally
This may seem like one that goes without saying. Yet learning to love someone unconditionally takes time and effort and by nature we are selfish beings who seeks our own interest first.
As you learn to support the growth of your partner in no way means you are ignoring yourself as you should not lose yourself as an individual, yet seeking to support and help your partner grow, reciprocally will lead to the growth of both partners in the relationship.
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There’s no blueprint for relationship success, some relationships last, others don’t.
However, understanding who you are, what you need in a relationship and knowing that there is no fairytale success to relationships can channel you on the part to enjoying the best possible in a relationship.
