Ninayepost uzi huu ni mwanaume, napenda kueleweshwa kwenye namba 4 hapo chini:-
Society and media often portray the perfect man in a bow tie who brings flowers and prepares a candle-light dinner. As perfect as that is for a teenage fantasy, when a woman steps into her twenties, she starts to realise that some of these characteristics don't really matter and that there are other intrinsic qualities that make a good boy friend, partner or husband.
When I was 16, I dreamed of a knight in shining armour who would buy me lilies, chocolates and compliment me all the time. As I stepped into my twenties, reality set in but it wasn't that bad.
I realised that there was more to life than frivolous romantic gestures and flattery. I actually learned to respect a man who would tell me off if I was wrong and that sometimes watching Friends and eating pizza on the couch can be more romantic than a carriage ride.
Even though the definition of romance varies from person to person, I realised, most importantly, that some characteristics are more important than what romantic comedies make us believe.
In my experience, here are 10 signs that tell you are dating a quality man:
1. He is not chauvinistic
It doesn't hurt his ego when you fix the light bulbs or assemble the furniture whilst he places the lasagne in the oven. He doesn't think that he is superior to you just because he is a man and he will never ever impose restrictions on you for being a woman. In this day and age, one of the greatest signs of masculinity is the ability to not be threatened by the opposite sex.
2. He wants to get to know you and not just a stereotypical image of you
Many men just notice a few aspects of the girl they are dating and immediately form pre-conceived notions. A woman does not instantly reveal everything about herself and she won't boast about her achievements or experiences unless asked. A quality man makes the effort to learn about all aspects of her life and understands that just like him, even she is growing and changing everyday.
3. He respects your choices
Whether you want to be a journalist, a CEO, a nanny, a homemaker or a guitarist- he is okay with that. He understands that it is your choice to choose what you do with your life and as long as it makes you happy, he respects it.
4. He is not jealous of your guy friends
He comes to terms with the fact that your guy friends are your mates and that some of them have been in your life way longer than he has. However, he trusts you and trusts in those you have chosen to be a part of your life. He doesn't feel insecure if you go to the bar with them or spend an evening beating them at video games.
He realises their importance in your world and he will not have a hissy fit when you want to spend one-one alone time with a guy friend.
- Hii sijui wanawake watasema ni wivu ama ni mwanamme kujali. Kwa mfano una girlfriend wako ambae amewahi kuwa na boyfriend mwingine na wewe umebahatka kumjua. Katika shughuli za maisha ukajua kuwa huwa wanawasiliana na pia kuna muda mvulana anamchukua girlfriend wako kwenda kazini pindi unapokuwa mbali. Je, kukasirika ni wivu ama kujali?? Hii imekaaje kwa wadada
5. He is not intimidated by you
There is nothing more unattractive than a man who is insecure, jealous and intimidated by his woman. It doesn't matter if she has had more life experiences, dated more people or earns more money than you. There is a reason she chose to be with you and if you weren't good enough, she would probably be dating someone else.
6. He is not judgmental of your past
He doesn't care about mistakes from the past. He understands that if you are candid about it, it means that you have moved on and learned from it. He won't judge you for being a smoker in high school or for being a terrible girlfriend to your ex. He acknowledges the changes in your life and doesn't dwell in the past.
7. He adds value to your life
In his companionship, you find yourself growing and your personality developing. He brings something more to your life in the form of knowledge, perspectives, his field of expertise or interests. Women find it very attractive when they can learn something new from their man, especially since it makes her look up to him.
8. He will be attracted to you even when you are in sweat pants and no make-up
He understands that you are not perfect and that you can't always look perfect. Nevertheless, because he is attracted to you he will find you gorgeous regardless of whether you are wearing pyjamas or a party dress. He can deal with the fact that your nose gets red when you have the flu or that your face goes pale during a migraine.
9. He brings out the best in you
If a guy is the reason behind your stress, troubles and unhappiness, he is definitely not worth it. Even though relationships are never smooth on a daily basis, ultimately, he shouldn't be the person provoking the negative aspects of your personality.
A high quality man will make sure that you are the best of what you can be. He wont be afraid to tell you off when you are being stupid and he will do so without being condescending.
10. He is protective but not possessive
There is a thin line between protectiveness and possessiveness. Feeling comfortable and safe in his company is a good thing, knowing that he is looking out for you is also a good thing. However, if he is punching guys at bars for checking you out or approaching you- then he isn't protective, he is possessive and perhaps border-line psycho.
Society and media often portray the perfect man in a bow tie who brings flowers and prepares a candle-light dinner. As perfect as that is for a teenage fantasy, when a woman steps into her twenties, she starts to realise that some of these characteristics don't really matter and that there are other intrinsic qualities that make a good boy friend, partner or husband.
When I was 16, I dreamed of a knight in shining armour who would buy me lilies, chocolates and compliment me all the time. As I stepped into my twenties, reality set in but it wasn't that bad.
I realised that there was more to life than frivolous romantic gestures and flattery. I actually learned to respect a man who would tell me off if I was wrong and that sometimes watching Friends and eating pizza on the couch can be more romantic than a carriage ride.
Even though the definition of romance varies from person to person, I realised, most importantly, that some characteristics are more important than what romantic comedies make us believe.
In my experience, here are 10 signs that tell you are dating a quality man:
1. He is not chauvinistic
It doesn't hurt his ego when you fix the light bulbs or assemble the furniture whilst he places the lasagne in the oven. He doesn't think that he is superior to you just because he is a man and he will never ever impose restrictions on you for being a woman. In this day and age, one of the greatest signs of masculinity is the ability to not be threatened by the opposite sex.
2. He wants to get to know you and not just a stereotypical image of you
Many men just notice a few aspects of the girl they are dating and immediately form pre-conceived notions. A woman does not instantly reveal everything about herself and she won't boast about her achievements or experiences unless asked. A quality man makes the effort to learn about all aspects of her life and understands that just like him, even she is growing and changing everyday.
3. He respects your choices
Whether you want to be a journalist, a CEO, a nanny, a homemaker or a guitarist- he is okay with that. He understands that it is your choice to choose what you do with your life and as long as it makes you happy, he respects it.
4. He is not jealous of your guy friends
He comes to terms with the fact that your guy friends are your mates and that some of them have been in your life way longer than he has. However, he trusts you and trusts in those you have chosen to be a part of your life. He doesn't feel insecure if you go to the bar with them or spend an evening beating them at video games.
He realises their importance in your world and he will not have a hissy fit when you want to spend one-one alone time with a guy friend.
- Hii sijui wanawake watasema ni wivu ama ni mwanamme kujali. Kwa mfano una girlfriend wako ambae amewahi kuwa na boyfriend mwingine na wewe umebahatka kumjua. Katika shughuli za maisha ukajua kuwa huwa wanawasiliana na pia kuna muda mvulana anamchukua girlfriend wako kwenda kazini pindi unapokuwa mbali. Je, kukasirika ni wivu ama kujali?? Hii imekaaje kwa wadada
5. He is not intimidated by you
There is nothing more unattractive than a man who is insecure, jealous and intimidated by his woman. It doesn't matter if she has had more life experiences, dated more people or earns more money than you. There is a reason she chose to be with you and if you weren't good enough, she would probably be dating someone else.
6. He is not judgmental of your past
He doesn't care about mistakes from the past. He understands that if you are candid about it, it means that you have moved on and learned from it. He won't judge you for being a smoker in high school or for being a terrible girlfriend to your ex. He acknowledges the changes in your life and doesn't dwell in the past.
7. He adds value to your life
In his companionship, you find yourself growing and your personality developing. He brings something more to your life in the form of knowledge, perspectives, his field of expertise or interests. Women find it very attractive when they can learn something new from their man, especially since it makes her look up to him.
8. He will be attracted to you even when you are in sweat pants and no make-up
He understands that you are not perfect and that you can't always look perfect. Nevertheless, because he is attracted to you he will find you gorgeous regardless of whether you are wearing pyjamas or a party dress. He can deal with the fact that your nose gets red when you have the flu or that your face goes pale during a migraine.
9. He brings out the best in you
If a guy is the reason behind your stress, troubles and unhappiness, he is definitely not worth it. Even though relationships are never smooth on a daily basis, ultimately, he shouldn't be the person provoking the negative aspects of your personality.
A high quality man will make sure that you are the best of what you can be. He wont be afraid to tell you off when you are being stupid and he will do so without being condescending.
10. He is protective but not possessive
There is a thin line between protectiveness and possessiveness. Feeling comfortable and safe in his company is a good thing, knowing that he is looking out for you is also a good thing. However, if he is punching guys at bars for checking you out or approaching you- then he isn't protective, he is possessive and perhaps border-line psycho.
