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Wazazi

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Lizzy, Feb 11, 2011.

  1. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 11, 2011
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    Mzazi ni mtu muhimu sana katika maisha ya kila mmoja wetu....ila wakati mwingine wanaweza kuharibu zaidi ya kujenga kutona na influence waliyonayo juu yetu!!!

    Ni sawa kumjali na kumwangalia mzazi wako ila wakati mwingine wanaweza kua zaidi ya sumu katika mahusiano.
    Tuanze na mzazi/wazazi wanapoamua kuishi na wanao ambao wapo kwenye ndoa, especially kina mama.Wazazi wengi hua wanaamini hamna mwanaume/mwanamke ambae amekamilika vya kutosha kiasi cha kuweza kua mwanae.Mara nyingi ikitokea ugomvi kati ya wawili mzazi atamtetea mwanae hata kama ndio mwenye kosa.Inaweza kua sio kwa makusudi ila inakua imeshatokea....kuna wengine wanatembea na uchungu wao na hapo ndipo wanapopata nafasi ya kumwaga machungu yao.Kwa mfano linapokuja swala la kucheat..hata kama bado haijatokea kwako ni hisia tu.... iwapo mama aliwahi kufanyiwa hivyo na mumewe ni rahisi sana kwa yeye kumwaminisha mwanae wakike kua anafanyiwa hivyo hivyo...kwamba wanaume kweli hawaaminiki ''ukimoana anaanza kua mnyemela nyemela(sneaky) basi jua kuna jambo.''.Au kumwambia mwanae wa kiume kwamba wanawake ni wabaya na mke wake is no different than others.Hapo anakua anasahau kabisa kwamba na yeye ni mwanamke na ni tofauti kwasababu hakuumiza bali aliumizwa.

    Ushauri binafsi...ikitokea wewe na mwenzako mkiwa katika hali ya kutoelewana alafu mzazi wako akawa karibu jaribu sana usimwingize mzazi wako katika ugomvi wenu.Mzazi atatakiwa kuchagua upande...na huo upande ukiwa wako mtakua mnamweka mwenzi wako kati...kitu ambacho kinaweza kumkera zaidi hata ya kilichokua kimesababisha ugomvi on the first place.Always ugomvi wenu umalizeni wenyewe...na ikitokea mmefikia mahali ambapo mnahitaji usuluhisho nendeni kwa mtu ambae hatakua na upendeleo na mmoja wenu...hapa ndugu na marafiki wa mmoja wenu anakua off the list.Mtu ambae ni neutral ataliona kosa lilipo na kulinyooshea kidole bila uficho...na ushauri wake utaelemea kwenye tatizo badala ya kuangalia kwanza nani mwenye kosa.

    Newayz my point is....
    1st...ALWAYS chuja ushauri au ushawishi kutoka kwa watu wengine!!Hata mzazi wako.....surely hawezi kukushauri kitu kibaya kwa makusudi ila sio kila wakati mzazi anajua ni nini unachohitaji at the time!!!
    2nd...Inapotokea mna tatizo na wote mnalijua tayari,wekeni akili zenu kwenye kutatua tatizo zaidi badala ya ktupiana lawama.

    Nawakilisha!!!
     
  2. VoiceOfReason

    VoiceOfReason JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Feb 11, 2011
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    True nadhani the best people wa kuweza kumaliza matatizo ya wapenzi wawili ni wapenzi wenyewe, sababu they know all the facts.., and am not a great believer wa kupeleka matatizo yetu kwa watu wengine kuna msemo (Never tell your problems to people, some wont care, others will be glad you have them, and most have got more problems than you).

    Kuhusu issue ya wazazi mimi naona nikipata mwenza wangu, wazazi wake ni wazazi wangu na wazazi wangu ni wazazi wake..., kwahiyo nitawachukulia kama wazazi, mfano mzazi wa mwenzangu akiwa anampendelea mwanae i will know kwamba thats normal na anampenda mwanae, therefore ushauri atakaotoa, sitakuwa nao chuki na sitaonyesha kwamba ninaukataa ingawa sio lazima niufuate..
     
  3. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #3
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    Kwenye nyekundu you and me both!!I hate it....sema kuna wengine ni kitu cha kawaida sana kwao so the least they can do is take it to someone who won't feel obligated to choose sides.
     
  4. VoiceOfReason

    VoiceOfReason JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Feb 11, 2011
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    You have said it all..., na hawa Couples inabidi wajue kwamba sometimes it takes a bigger person to admit mistakes, unajua wote mkiwa wajuaji ndani ya nyumba nayo haifai....
     
  5. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Feb 11, 2011
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    Just like that?No challenge?Lolz...Nwyz kweli kabisa siku zote inabidi mmoja akubali kua mdogo ili kutatua tatizo maana bila hivyo mtaishia kuongeza yawe matatizo!
     
  6. Questt

    Questt JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Feb 11, 2011
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    Mnapo maliza matatizo yenu wenyewe Upendo huongezeka maradufu na huwa si rahisi kujirudia.....mambo ya kupeleka matatizo kwa wazazi mimi personally huchukulia kuwa ni udhaifu wa KUFIKIRI......
     
  7. pmwasyoke

    pmwasyoke JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 11, 2011
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    Kama kuna uwezekano wa wanandoa kutokuishi na wazazi wa upande wowote, nafasi hiyo itumike. Ni vema zaidi kuwasupport wazazi wakiwa wanaishi separately.
     
  8. Elia

    Elia JF-Expert Member

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    Mungu - Wazazi - Duniani - :coffee:
     
  9. Elia

    Elia JF-Expert Member

    #9
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    sio wazazi tu, hatakuishi karibu na ndugu nimeona watu wengi wakipata matatizo/migogoro
     
  10. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Feb 11, 2011
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    Yeah!Inabidi ndugu nao wajifunze..msaada sio mpaka ukae kwa mtu!Kwa kiasi flani hua wanasababisha migongano isiyo ya lazima!
     
  11. Elia

    Elia JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Feb 11, 2011
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    Lizzy, Ndugu/wazazi wakiwa home Hata privacy inakosekana, Kunakitu niliambiwa kama darasa kwamba nikioa niwe makini na ndugu wa pande zote, ukikubali kukaa na ndugu wa upande wa kike wawili, jiandae kupokea wawili wa upande wa kiume ukikataa utaambiwa umeshikwa masikio na chanzo cha migogoro isiyo na kichwa wala miguu.. its better kuwasaidia hukohuko waliko.. waje kukusalimia wiki moja mbili waondoke unless otherwise
     
  12. A

    Aine JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Feb 11, 2011
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    Ni kwa sababu hayajakukuta ndg, yakikukuta uta regret what you are saying.
    Nimewahi kusuluhisha ndoa ambayo kwa uwazi kabisa wazazi wanampendelea binti yao, na kiukweli kijana ana makosa madogo sana ambayo kama mbinti angekuwa hasemi uongo kwa wazazi wake yangeisha mara moja, lakini kwa masikitiko makubwa kabisa hadi naandika ujumbe huu, hakuna ndoa tena, ila wazazi wangemsaidia binti yao na kumwambia makosa yake wangeishi kabisa hadi leo.
    kwa mtazamo wangu, wazazi hatakiwi kupendelea upande mmoja, kama unapenda ndoa za vijana wako idumu na iwe na amani, wasaidie kwa kuwaambia makosa yao kila mmoja bila kujali huyu ni mtoto wako, mkiwa na msimamo huo na wenyewe watajua wazazi wetu hawapendelei mtu yoyote.
     
  13. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 11, 2011
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    It's only natural....mzazi anatumia hisia zake kwa mwanae zaidi ya busara ambazo ndizo zinazotakiwa zitawale.Anajikuta anamwambia mwanae anachotaka kusikia na sio anachohitaji kusikia!!!
     
  14. VoiceOfReason

    VoiceOfReason JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Feb 11, 2011
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    Mkuu sijasema kwamba Wazazi hawapendelei au ni vema wanavyopendelea...(lakini what I said ni kwamba wazazi hao tawachukulia kama wazazi ingawa watakuwa wanapendelea lakini sitawakosea adabu wala kubishana nao, mafahari wawili hawakai zizi moja..., kwahiyo kuliko kubishana na wazazi takachofanya ni kuongea na mwenza wangu na kuhakikisha kwamba hizi issue hazifiki kwa wazazi) in other words takuwa mpole lakini tahakikisha ninamwambia mwenza wangu kwamba huoni kule ninaonewa...., if we cant solve this problem mimi na mwenzangu na mwenzangu anaona kabisa kwamba ninaonewa then there is a major issue btn the two of us.
     
  15. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Watu wengi wanaopeleka matatizo yao kwa wengine ni wale wanaoamini kwamba wao ndio wamekosewa kwahiyo wanategemea wewe ukandamizwe huko mtakapopelekana!!Mpaka hapo swala la kusema utamuelewesha kwamba unaonewa litakua gumu sana.......!!Mtu anaejua na kulikubali kosa lake atajaribu kutatua tatizo alilosababisha vile anavyoona yeye inafaa badala ya kusuggest twende kwa fulani akatupatanishe.Anaehisi au kudhani anaonewa mara nyingi ndo wa kwanza kusema TWENDE!!!:coffee:
     
  16. P

    Preacher JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Feb 11, 2011
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    shida inakuja pale ambapo - MWANAUME KATIKA NDOA NI "GROWN-UP BABY" - yaani amekuwa mwili tu lakini - akili, ufahamu, uwezo wa kuamua mambo hana - hivyo yeye kila jambo - anamwuliza MAMA yake or BABA or RAFIKI - whatever - hata kama hawakai pamoja - siku hizi jamani simu zipo - basi itabidi apige simu au atume email etc. - na mwanamke pia - akisha kuwa MMBEYA - MUONGO - ASIYEWEZA KUWEKA SIRI - lazima akiwa saloon ataongea matatizo yake au issue za nyumbani kwake - na hapo ndipo atapewa ushauri - ambao mwishowe ataharibu kuliko kutengeneza.

    NDOA NI YA WATU WAWILI - BIBLIA INASEMA "MWANAMUME ATAMWACHA BABAYE NA MAMAYE NAYE ATAAMBATANA NA MKEWE" so hata Mungu mwenyewe anasema NI MUME + MKE - tatizo watatue wenyewe, wapange wenyewe - wakimshirikisha Mungu..............

    Ukishaolewaukishaoa - ujue kuna upendo wa Wazazi; upendo wa ndoa; upendo wa Mungu - lazima uwe mwangalifu na ujue ku-balance mambo yako. NAWASILISHA
     
  17. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Feb 11, 2011
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    K
    Nakubaliana na wewe kabisa....Yani hizo tabia zote mbili sio nzuri!!
    Sofa la kukalia wewe na mkeo unataka mama au rafiki ndo akuchagulie rangi...gari lenu na pesa yenu ila unataka mtu mwingine nje ya hiyo ndoa ndio atoge GREEN light!!Na mwanamke asiyeweza kutunza siri za nyumbani kwake ndio kabisaa anatisha!!Mazuri...mabaya yote hachagui kazi yake ni kusambaza tu!!Hua wanasahau kwamba mara nyingi unapomueleza mtu mambo yako ambayo hupaswi kumjulisha kila unayemuona watu hua wanabaki kuwacheka na kuwashangaa kimoyo moyo hata kama hawasemi!!
    Kama mtu hajakua kiakili ndoa abaki kuisikia tu!!!
     
  18. Fixed Point

    Fixed Point JF Bronze Member

    #18
    Feb 11, 2011
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    Hii ndo rule yangu. nasaidia sana ndugu wa pande zote lakini huko huko waliko.
    nakumbuka mimi kwenye familia tulizaliwa wa3 tu, lakini tulikuwa tukiisha na ndugu wengi sana, kuna kipindi mnalala kila kitanda watu 4, mkipika utadhani kuna sherehe nyumbani. nguo mpya ni xmas na pasaka tu. viatu unanunuliwa vikubwa ili ukuwe navyo. yaani hakukuwa na raha yoyote ya kuzaliwa wachache.
    Ndugu tunawapenda sana lakini ukiweza kuwasaidia huko waliko inakuwa vizuri zaidi
     
  19. VoiceOfReason

    VoiceOfReason JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Feb 11, 2011
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    Picture this...., lets say kwamba mwenza wangu ni mtukutu, mvivu, anachelewa kurudi usiku n.k., lets say mimi baada ya kumwambia akasema ninamuonea na akapeleka mashitaka kwa wazazi wake.., Now lets say mimi nikaitwa pale sasa I have got two options, either kumdhalilisha kwa wazazi wake kwa mambo mabaya anayofanya (while ninajua fika kuwa wazazi wake watamtetea)...,

    Au naweza nikachuna ili nisimseme kwa wazazi wake (aibu yake aibu yangu) hoping kwamba akirudi nyumbani kama mtu mwenye busara ataona after all ningeweza kuanika madhambi yake kwa wazazi wake lakini sikufanya hivyo..., Sasa basi mtu wa hivi asipobadilika hata baada ya kuona kwamba nipo tayari kubeba mizigo ya madhambi yake kwa kuhifadhi aibu zetu.., Basi really we have got serious issues which we need to solve, and who is better to solve them than someone who spends all the time with her.... na kama nikishindwa, maybe she was the wrong choice.., na tatizo lilifanyika wakati wa kuchagua...

    Have A Nice Weekend......
     
  20. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    VoR we ni mtetezi mzuri sana ila kuna watu na watu!Mpaka mtu aliyekukosea wewe akakushtaki wewe usitegemee uelewa na uungwana kutoka kwake!Hapo mkirudi nyumbani ataishia kukupiga madongo!'Unajifanya kulalamika hapa tumefika kule huna cha kusema' hayo ndo yatakua maneno yake!Ustaarabu haufunzwi ukubwani!
     
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