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Wanawake: Ni wakati gani mnadhani ni muafaka kuanza kulipa gharama za mtoko (dates)........?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mtambuzi, Aug 7, 2012.

  1. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Kuna jambo ambalo nimekuwa nikijiuliza mara nyingi sana. Nakumbuka katika kipindi changu cha mpito wakati natafuta jiko, nilibahatika kuwa na mitoko (dates) na wadada kadhaa…….. Naam, kipindi hicho nilikuwa katika pilika za kutafuta ni nani atakayenifaa kwa ajili ya kujenga familia.

    Kama mjuavyo mtoko ni gharama na gharama hizi mara nyingi huzibeba mwanaume, ambaye ndiye anayetoa mwaliko. Ni vigumu kutabiri gharama za mtoko na hiyo ni kutokana na kutojua kama mwenzako anapendelea aina gani ya vinywaji au vyakula. Hivyo inabidi kabla ya mtoko basi ujikague kama mfuko unakidhi usije ukaumbuka bure.

    Lakini pia inategemea ni sehemu gani mtakwenda kwa ajili ya mtoko wenu, kwani kila sehemu ina gharama zake. Kwa mfano, kuna kwenda sinema, kuna kutoka kwenda kupata chakula cha jioni na hii inategemea mnakwenda wapi, kwani kuna mighahawa ya inayouza vyakula vya kitalii, kuna hoteli za nyota tatu, nne mpaka tano, maeneo yote hayo yanatofautiana bei, na ndio maana nikasema mtoko ni gharama.
    [​IMG]
    Swali kwa wanawake:

    Inaweza kutokea baada ya mtoko wa kwanza mwanaume akavutiwa na wewe akiamini kwamba, mnaweza kujenga familia. Lakini ili kufahamiana zaidi akawa anakualika kwenye mtoko mara kwa mara ili mpate fursa ya kufahamiana zaidi.

    Kwa kuwa mara nyingi hutokea wanaume ndio hubeba gharama za mitoko (dates) kwa sababu wao ndio waalikaji, Je mnadhani ni wakati gani mnapaswa kuanza kulipa gharama za mtoko…………?
    [​IMG]
    Niliwahi kuzungumza na baadhi ya wafanyakazi wenzangu wa jinsia ya kike kuhusu jambo hili. Baadhi walisema wanaweza kutoa mwaliko wa mtoko wa tatu na kubeba gharama. Wengine walisema mtoko wa pili wanaweza kulipa gharama za matumizi ya mtoko huo, hata na kama wao ndio wamealikwa na ikitokea mwanaume analazimisha kulipa, basi watajaribu japo kuchangia gharama za vinywaji. Lakini wapo waliodai kwamba wao wataanza kulipa pale tu ambapo mwanaume huyo ataonyesha dalili zote za kuwavisha pete za uchumba au kufunga nao ndoa…………………..

    Naomba kupata mtazamo wenu juu ya jambo hili, Je nyie mnasemaje?.
     
  2. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

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    Kibongo Bongo aliyepropose kutoka ndiye anayepaswa kulipa...maana mtu akikwambie twende Serena maanake amejiandaa asitegemee mualikwa atalipa. Lol.

    Wanawake tulivyo bahili...sana sana utaishiwa kualikwa dinner nyumbani kusave budget.

    Kwa experience yangu toka nimemjua baba nanii analipia mitoko yote anayopropose na ninayopropose...kwanza nazani ana enjoy kulipia gharama..si mwanaume bana. ila we have a joint account hivyo it does not matter nani kalipa...ila ni heshima akiendelea ku foot bills mbele za watu.
     
  3. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Duh...!
     
  4. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

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    Hahahahahaa Mtambuziiiiiiiiiiiiiii loh..... Mie binafsi baada ya ndoa ndo nalipa vidate na hubby, nayo ni pale ninapomwalika out......

    Frankly speaking Kipindi nikiwa single nikikutoa out ujue umeumia ipo siku utagharamia mara tatu ya ninavyotoa hapo, tena bila ya mwenyewe kujua..........loh nashukuru ufisadi huo sina tena siku hizi
     
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  5. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Basi sina haja ya kujuta kumbe wanaume wengi tumeumia katika kipindi hicho cha kutafuta jiko, na wengine huenda mida hii wanaumia ..................LOL
    Nadhani kuna haja sasa mbadilike maana hali ya uchumi imekuwa tete kwa kila mtu.....
     
  6. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

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    Mi sipendi tabia ya kuomba omba wanaume ela...sijuhi vocha ...sijuhi viatu etc.

    Lakini kimbelembele cha kulipa mkitoka out akyanani kinaweza kumfanya binti adode...kweli vile. Mwanaume wa Kiafrika sidhani kama anapenda kushushwa adharani...na uanaume ni kuhudumia bana.
     
  7. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

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    Jamani mualikaji si ndio analipa bill?
    Wanaume wengine hawapendi hasa kwa huu mfumo jike unaoanza.

    Ila kiukweli inapendeza mwanaume ndio alipie, naweza compasate kinamna nyingine; kama kununua kitu cha thamani kwa ajili ya nyumbani!

    Raha ya mtoko, hubby atoboke! LOL
     
  8. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Ni kweli inapendeza mwanaume kulipa lakini ndio iwe ni kila siku........! Hata hakuna kulipa nusu hasara.............?
     
  9. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    mie silipii hadi tuambizane uhusiano wetu ni wa kimagaharibi au wa kiafrika?

    Kama ni wa kimagharibi, inayomaanisha nitapata haki zote kulingana na makubaliano ya Beijing, basi kila mtoko nitagharimia nusu kwa nusu.

    Ila kama anataka mahusiano ya kiafrika ambayo mwanamme ana sauti kama kiongozi wa kundi la wanawake anaowaongoza, basi sitalipia asilani.

    Mie hapa huwa naona wanamme wanajikanganya, anataka um-treat kama african king halafu kwenye cost sharing anataka twende kimagharibi, hii haiwezekani na haikubaliki.
     
  10. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Halafu ndio imetokea umempeleka binti Hoteli kama Kilimanjaro Grand Hyatt, pale soda tu shilingi 5,000, bado hujasoma menu, ikitokea kaagiza Lobuster, mai weee..........!
     
  11. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

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    Hasara tena Mtambuzi? What is the use of money then?
    Jamani nitachangia kwenye Ada za watoto, ujenzi na maendeleo mengine; lkn mtoko akuuu!
     
  12. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Mkuu unatisha, nafurahi sana kusoma comments zako....................
     
  13. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Kaunga sasa hapo si mpaka iwe mmefunga ndoa na mnayo familia tayari...! what if jamaa ndio anafanya michakato ya kuelekea kwenye uhusiano kamili ambapo hapo ndipo mitoko inakuwaga kwa sana, ndio utamuachia gharama zote za kila mtoko alipe yeye...... Kumbuka kwamba na wewe unafanya kazi.....?
     
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  14. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

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    Tatizo si Binti wala Hotel, ila kiherehere cha kumpeleka sehemu usoweza ku afford, lol.

     
  15. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

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    Namkumbuka sana marehemu bibi yangu alivyonihadithia jinsi babu alivyompata . . . !!
     
  16. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    sijui nikuite dada ila almost age mates eeh! nyumba kubwa, yaani tutatofautiana padogo sana na mimi.

    miye huwa naona furaha kumtoa hubby na wala sitak aguse mfuko wake and to me this started since we were wachumba. haina maana kwamba halipi no kuna siku tunakwenda analipa na kuna siku tunatoka hata kama kapropose yeye kama niko njema nalipia.

    ila kuna siku nilimshangaa sana srafiki yangu, tumetoka kwenda for fun as families sasa hubbies waka save round kama 5 hivi ilipokuja ya 6 na 7 niasave mimi just kwamba wao waone kuwa hatuko wanawake fenicha lol! shostito alinisema kweli eti hata siku moja usikae ukamlipia mr outing kisa eti akitoka hapo anazo baki nazo anapeleka kwa mwajuma lol! mpaka leo huwa simwelew na niliacha urafiki nae manake nilihofia kulishwa kasa.
     
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  17. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

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    Ndio maana nikasema analipa kwa sababu ya PR tu maana ela yetu tunachanga Lol.
    Ukizingatia tayari niko powerful nsipojishusha kwenye kadamnsasi kwa mila za kiafrika mume anaweza kudharauliwa. Lol.


     
  18. N

    Neylu JF-Expert Member

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    Mmmh... Mtambuzi umenikumbusha mbali kidogo.... Nilikuwa na mpenzi wangu, mara nyingi tukitoka out mie ndie nilikuwa nalipa gharama zooote kisa, nilikuwa nampenda hata sikutaka aingie gharama za aina yeyote... Alivyokuja kunitenda nikapata somo.... Mimi kulipa gharama za outing kwa boyfriend sijui mpenzi, mchumba ni MARUFUKU!! Mpaka hapo nitakapokuwa wake rasmi ( Ndoa) hapo ndio nitagharamia outing..
     
  19. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    i bet to differ with you ma honey hivi kweli, hata kama mmedefine uwe ni wa kiafrika hivi utakuwa mnyimi kisa the man wants to be treated like african king? hii naona haijakaa vyema kwangu.

    btw mimi huwa nauamini sana mfuko wangu aisee manake kama hauko poa hata uniambie tutoke nachomoa lol!, kama vipi tupige stail ya kila mtu anunue kinywaji chake but tutashare sigara tu.
     
  20. telitaibi

    telitaibi JF-Expert Member

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    hapa napo pagumu jamani, so dad nani akiwa mtupu hatutoki tena? ila kuna wanaume ukianza kugaramia mtoko basi ndo umekuwa mtumwa kila akitoka atajichekelesha ulipe wewe wakati nyumba ndogo na matusi juu atapewa kwa kushindwa kulipa mi na wanaume lo siwapendi kwani hawajitambui hukawi kusikia akikuita shuga mami.
     
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