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Muswada wa maboresho ya utaratibu wa kitchen party/bag party

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Tuko, May 11, 2011.

  1. Tuko

    Tuko JF Bronze Member

    #1
    May 11, 2011
    Joined: Jul 29, 2010
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    Ndugu wanajamvi wa MMU

    Napenda kuleta muswada huu hapa kwa majadiliano.

    Nimefuatilia kwa kiasi fulani kuhusu ufanisi wa hizi kozi zinazoitwa kitchen party na bag party na kugundua kuna upungufu fulani.

    Kiini cha tatizo nimegundua kuwa ni kwa sababu kichen party (KP) zinaendeshwa na wanawake tu (wakufunzi), na hali kadhalika bag party (BP) zinakufunziwa na wanaume.

    Kwa nini nasema ni tatizo? Mathalani katika KP msichana anaetarajiwa kuolewa anatakiwa apewe mafunzo ya aina mbili. Moja ni namna ya ku-handle tabia na matendo ya mumewe hata yakiwa sio mazuri, Mbili ni namna ya kumridhisha Mume wake. Sasa hapo kwa hilo la kwanza, ni sawa akielezwa na wanawake wenzake. Lakini hilo la pili (ambalo ndilo hupewa kipaumbele kwenye KP) ni vyema akaelezwa na wanaume. Kiukweli wanaume ndio wanaojua nini wanataka kutoka kwa wanawake (and vice versa). Hawa wanaojiita mama wa shuhuli, mambo mengi wanabuni na wanakosea. Wanaume (tena waliooa) ndio wanajua nini alikikosa kwa mkewe akakipata kwa nyumba ndogo. Wa mama wa shuhuli wanaongelea kukata viuno, kuvaa shanga, sijui kulala uchi, lakini hivyo ni vitu vidogo. Wababa wanajua ni wakati gani wanapenda mke awe mpole, au mkali, mbishi, au mtiifu, mcheshi, mtani au mkorofi, n.k.

    Watu wanaweza wakasema ooh, hivyo vitu ataelezwa na mumewe huko ndani... Ukweli ni kuwa yapo mambo (tena mengi) ya kimapenzi ambayo mwanaume hawezi kumueleza live mkewe na akimweleza awe tayari kuhisiwa kuwa sio mwaminifu. Wanaume watamweleza mwanamke anayeolewa ni vipi wanapenda wachukuliweje au wahisiweje pale wanapofanya kitu kisichoridhisha kama kuchelewa kurudi nyumbani, au kupungua performance kitandani.

    Nasisitiza tena kuwa wanaume wengi hawapendi tabia za kikondoo tu kwa mwanamke (upole, utii, unyenyekevu, wema), bali mara chache wanapenda kuona mke amekuwa mkali, mkorofi, mbishi, na mbabe lakini katika mazingira fulani tu machache.

    Naamini pia hata kwenye BP tunapoenda kuwaambia wanaume wenzetu kuwa wafanye hivi, waishi vile.. tunapungukiwa kujua nini hasa ambacho wanawake zetu wanapenda ambacho hawawezi kutuambia direct. Yapo mambo fulani hivi hasa ya kitandani au yanayohusu ndugu ambayo wanawake hawawezi kuyasema direct kwa waume zao, otherwise wataonekana wahuni, waachoyo, wabinafsi nk.

    Kwa experience ndogo niliyo nayo, nimegundua kuwa siku zote nilikuwa effective zaidi kuwashauri marafiki au ndugu zangu wa kike walipokuwa na matatizo na ndoa zao, kuliko nilipowashauri marafiki au ndgu wa kiume wenye matatizo na ndoa zao.

    Ndugu wanajamvi, napenda kuwasilisha hoja,
     
  2. Tuko

    Tuko JF Bronze Member

    #2
    Jun 7, 2011
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    Nikitumia JF kama mfano, ni kuwa migogoro mingi siku hizi ipo kwa wapenzi ambao hawajaoana. Madhara yake ni mengi, kuumizana nyoyo, mimba zisizotarajiwa, kufeli masomo, kuzorotesha kazi, vifo (kujiua/magonjwa), nk...

    Je, mnadhani upo umuhimu wa kuanzishwa utaratibu wa elimu ya mapenzi kwa watu wanaotaka kuingia katika mahusiano hata kama sio ya kuoana?
     
  3. itnojec

    itnojec JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jun 7, 2011
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    ili iweje?
    jando na unyago si mmeikataa, sasa elimu gani zaid mnayoitaka.
     
  4. m

    muwa Member

    #4
    Mar 3, 2012
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    that's correct kaka
     
  5. KikulachoChako

    KikulachoChako JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Sep 9, 2014
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    Habari....
    kutokana na wimbi la kuvunjika kwa ndoa..kwa siku za hivi karibuni...na lawama nyingi wakitupiwa wanawake..jambo ambalo nimegundua si sahihi...kutokana na uchunguzi wangu nimegundua vijana wengi wa kiume hawakujiandaa au kuandaliwa kabla ya kuingia kwenye ndoa...wanawake pekee ndio huandaliwa jambo ambalo halitoshi kuwafanya wadumu katika ndoa..hivyo kupelekea ndoa kuwa kama filamu za bongo movie..kwa kuwa mtoto wa kiume hakuandaliwa namna ya kuishi ndoani....kwa hiyo ingekuwa vyema kama vijana wa kiume nao wangeandaliwa kisaikolojia...kupitia mafunzo maalumu kabla ya kuingia ndoani....
    NAWASILISHA..
     
  6. Asprin

    Asprin JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Sep 9, 2014
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    Wewe mwenyewe ni he/she?
     
  7. kilambalambila

    kilambalambila JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Sep 9, 2014
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    hata wanawake wanaoandaliwa ni yaleyale tu. Haya makitchen paries hayana mantiki siku hizi
     
  8. KikulachoChako

    KikulachoChako JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Sep 9, 2014
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    mimi ni dume a.k.a gentleman....jiangalie...weweeee...hata ndevu huzioni...???
     
  9. luckyline

    luckyline JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Sep 9, 2014
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    kp haina maana siku izi mtu anaolewa wakati ameishazaa.mc mmoja alituvunja mbavu alisema...jaman eeeee tukajibu semaaa bibie' mm leosina kazi kubwa maana mtalajiwa kaishazaa so nitaongelea usafi tuuuuu. tulicheka mbaya
     
  10. Tuko

    Tuko JF Bronze Member

    #10
    Sep 9, 2014
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    Hahahaa...
     
  11. Nanaa

    Nanaa JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Sep 9, 2014
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    Kitchen Party siku hiz ni kwa ajili ya kutafuta vyombo tuu...Huwezi kufundishwa mbele ya watu kibaooo, tena kwa sherehe halafu ukaelewa.....!
     
  12. Nyalotsi

    Nyalotsi JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Sep 9, 2014
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    ni wastage ya resources za kupeleka watoto shule.!! hamna la maana huko maana wahudhuriaji wenyewe ni nyumba ndogo za watu, michepuko etc. Watafundisha nini?
     
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