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Mama anataka mume tajiri, baba anataka mume msomi nipo dilema

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by najma, Dec 29, 2009.

  1. n

    najma Member

    #1
    Dec 29, 2009
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    Asalaam alaykum wana jamii



    nipo kwenye wakati mgumu wa maisha nashindwa kuamua, mimi ni msomi wa shahada mbili sasa na nina miaka 30, naitaji kuolewa na kuwa na watoto na familia shida yangu ni kwamba kila ninapopeleka mwanaume nyumbani anakasoro, nakumbuka mwaka 2003 nilimpata kijana mmoja ila hakuwa msomi ila nilimpenda sana kwavile alikuwa ananipenda naamini , hakuwa tajiri ila alikuwa na upendo, kibaya zaidi mama yangu alipogundua akanambia hamtaki kijana uyo kwa vile haendani na hazi yangu maana yeye anatupa pesa za kusomesha , basi nikawa naishi nae kiugu the result tulitengana kwa vile hakuwa mwaminifu ila sio umasikini, 2005 nikampata kijana mwingine ambaye yeye alikuwa na pesa sana mama yangu alifurahi kwa vile pesa ndogo ndogo hazimchengi nae alikuwa na upendo nikapenda awe mume wangu , kwa elimu ni darasa la saba, ikabidi aanze process za harusi 2007 mwanzoni , mzee wangu akauliza uyo mkwe wa aina gani maana anaelimu gani baada ya kuambiwa darasa la saba akasema hamtaki anamtaka msomi, basi kwa kuheshimu wazazi ikabidi ndoa ivunjwe , ila tulliendelea na uhusiano mpaka pale niliponda USA kuchukuwa shahasa yapili.

    niwapo uko nilijuwa kuwa natakiwa nitafute mume msomi ndio baba yangu aniozeshe nilitumia jitihada kumwambia mwenzangu aende shule maana bado nampenda aligoma, basi ikabidi nifanye maamuzi ya kuwa na msomi kweli nilimpata na nikaanza maisha yakawa mazuri, tatizo likaja kwake yeye anasifa zote ila wakati mipango ya harusi inataka ianze nikagundua kuwa ni mwanaume makaya kushinda maelezo wala hana mwiko , kila kitu anakula
    kweli njilikuwa dilema nikawa sina jibu na mipango ya ndoa nikagailisha . nimepatw na mawazo yule asiesoma bado nampenda na kanambia kama nitakubali hali yake nimwambie tuishi ila baba ndio ivyo anataka msomi, nami naitaji familia jamani naomba ushauri hapa nifanyeje?

    naitwa dada najma shida tangu nikwamba napata tabu kwenye maamuzi maana mama
     
  2. Lukolo

    Lukolo JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Dec 29, 2009
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    Ni kweli wazazi huwa ni shida sana lakini nafikir maamuzi yako ndiyo final. Hakuna mzazi atakayekuja kuishi na huyo mme wako. Unaweza kupata msomi na mwenye pesa akakutesa maisha yako yote. Tafuta amani ya moyo na si kumridhisha mtu. Mabinti wengi huwa wanaamua kuzaa kwanza, though sisemi hiyo ndo njia nzuri. Lakini ikifika mahali fulani wazazi hawakuelewi ni vizuri ufanye maamuzi yako binafsi. Kumbuka wewe ni binti, unao uwezo wa kumchagua mme lakini unaweza kuwa na wakati mgumu katika kumweleza nia yako. Na wanaume wakigundua kwamba unashida basi wanaweza kuamua kukuchezea tu na kukuacha. fanya maamuzi binafsi.
     
  3. B

    Babuyao JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Dec 29, 2009
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    Najma. mume ni wako siyo wa baba yako wala wa mama yako. Ni wako! Wazazi ni washauri tu hata kama wanaweza wakawa na kauli kubwa kiasi gani. Bado ni washauri Tu. Mwenye uamuzi wa mwisho ni wewe utakayeishi hiyo ndoa, na huyo mume wako. Mi nakushauri ufanye uamuzi wa kweli kadiri moyo wako unavyokutuma. Tayari umeshasikia ushauri wa wazazi: mmoja anataka msomi, mmoja anataka mwenye pesa. Hivyo visiwe vigezo kwako. Kigezo kikuu kiwe upendo wako kwa mtu, na si mali au elimu. PENDO mama ndilo la maana na ndilo linaloendesha ndoa. Bila pendo usomi na utajiri havitaokoa ndoa yako magumu ya ndoa yatakapoanza.

    Kumbe jaribu kukaa na wazazi wako na kuwaeleza uamuzi wako: yaani yupi umeamua awe mume wako. naamini wazazi wako ni waelewa, na kwamba baada ya kuwaeleza kinanaga uchaguzi wako watauheshimu. Jaribu kuwashawishi wakubaliane na wewe. Usiwaachie wakuchagulie mume. Washirikishe lakini mwenye kuchagua/kutoa uamuzi wa mwisho uwe wewe. Kazi kwako!
     
  4. Sajenti

    Sajenti JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Dec 29, 2009
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    ...Najma kwa kiwango chako cha elimu sikutegemea ungetoa point mbovu kama hizi. Kwa umri wako wa miaka 30, elimu yako ya degree 2 na kazi unayo. Nadhani unatakiwa kusikiliza kile ambacho moyo wako unapenda, heshima kwa wazazi ni muhimu lakini yote yanazungumzika. Lakini kwa maelezo yako wewe utakuwa unabadilisha wanaume kila mtu anakuja hapo anakumega anaenda zake..Mwisho utaishia kumegwa na hutapata huyo wa kukuoa kwa jinsi wazazi wako wanavyotaka.
     
  5. Mkereketwa

    Mkereketwa JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Dec 29, 2009
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    Usually wazazi haitakiwi kuwaendekeza, ila unatakiwa uwaeleze na wajue msimamo wako siyo kulazimisha na pia siyo wao wakuchagulie mtu wanayemtaka wao. Maana kama nimume ni wako na ndoa ni ya kwako, be the way you are na wazazi wajue interest yakon ni nini? siyo kutekeleza interest zao.

    All the best
     
  6. Teamo

    Teamo JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Dec 29, 2009
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    njoo kwangu uwe mke wa pili!
    ingawa mimi sina degree hata moja
     
  7. Abunwasi

    Abunwasi JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Dec 29, 2009
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    Where has love gone???????
    Materialism & status is the mainstream now and that is the reason why most marriages nowaday do not last and if they last extra marrital affairs in kawaida mnazaa watoto bila kuwa na uhakika kama kweli hao ni watoto wa mume wako au la mkienda kufanya dna test hatari tupu
     
  8. Z

    Zion Daughter JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Dec 29, 2009
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    Fuata moyo wako kama kweli unampenda.Ndoa ni yako wewe na si ya wazazi wako.Lakni endelea kuwaelewesha wakuelewe ,tumia hata wazee wa busara au wa dini waongee na baba yako.
     
  9. Katavi

    Katavi Platinum Member

    #9
    Dec 29, 2009
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    Du usipokuwa makini utamegwa sana tu na kuolewa hutaolewa. Mimi nakushauri wapotezee tu hao wazee, mwisho utazeeka na mume usipate.
     
  10. Vitendo

    Vitendo JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Dec 29, 2009
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    Wabongo tunapenda maigizo..!!
     
  11. Rubuye123

    Rubuye123 JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Dec 29, 2009
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    maisha ni ya kwako,mume ni wa kwako na ndoa ni ya kwako.nafasi yao kwako ni ushauri tu na sio vinginevyo.maamuzi ni ya kwako tu dadangu.usipoangalia utatumika tuuuuuuuu mpaka ukongoroke na ndoa hutapata.mimi ni mwanaume,wazee wangu walileta mikingamo kuhusu mwezi nitakaofanya shughuli yangu(mwakani),mara hili mara lile,nikawapotezea wakaniziria maandalizi.nikaanza kibishi wenyew now wanani-suport vya kutosha.waonyeshe msimamo wako KWA HESHIMA!
     
  12. n

    najma Member

    #12
    Dec 29, 2009
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    unajuwa waweza kuwa na elimu ila mambo ya jamii ukashindwa tatuwa ndio maana binadam anasema hawezi kamilika na hili na elimu hata haiendani kwani ni hesabu kama nitacalculate any way ushauri mzuri sana , sio malaya kama unasema nitamegwa na kuacha natumaini nimejielezea vyema tuu na msimammo wangu, na sio kama sijakaa na wazazi nimekaa nao sana ila ndio ivyo tena but iam no gonna lose hope nitajaribu tena for another chance ili nijue nitafanyaje is not a joke is still a serious obstacle on my life
     
  13. n

    najma Member

    #13
    Dec 29, 2009
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    thanks i will do that
     
  14. n

    najma Member

    #14
    Dec 29, 2009
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  15. Nyamayao

    Nyamayao JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Dec 29, 2009
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    eeh ndoa za cku hizi ndio hizi? no wonder hazidumu.
     
  16. Ngalikihinja

    Ngalikihinja JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Dec 29, 2009
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    ANAYEOLEWA NI WEWE......... SI MZAZI
    ATAKAYEISHI NA MUME NI WEWE .............. SI MZAZI
    ANAYEHITAJI KUWA NA WATOTO NI WEWE .......... SI MZAZI
    ATAKAYETESEKA "PSYCHOLOGICALLY" NI WEWE .......... SI WAZAZI

    Hivyo basi ni bora ukaamua sasa to avoid mabaya ya baadaye...... hao wazazi utawaomba msamaha hapo baadaye lakini wakati huo ukiwa na mumeo na watoto.......

    DO NOT FORGET TO GIVE US FEEDBACK
     
  17. Edson

    Edson JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Dec 29, 2009
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    wewe dada vip? hivi unatumia maarifa ya digrii mbili vizuri?


    hutapata furaha maishani kama unamsikiliza mtu, angalia dada yangu uzee wako utakuwa wa manung'uniko! wewe vipi? rudi kamchukue huyo wa darasa la saba muoane.

    usilie lie hapa wewe una maamuzi yako na u mtu mzima sasa kama unatumia akiri na si maarifa katika hili utapaka rangi upepo!
     
  18. Exaud J. Makyao

    Exaud J. Makyao JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Dec 29, 2009
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    Hayo ni machaguo ya baba na mama,
    WEWE unataka mume gani?
     
  19. N

    Nasolwa JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Dec 29, 2009
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    Kama kwa mujibu wa maelezo yako kwamba wewe ni binti msomi mwenye degree mbili na umri wa miaka 30 nashidwa kuamini kwamba wewe unashindwa kuamua hatima ya wewe kuolewa. Kama utaolewa kwa vigezo vya wazazi wako, kuna hatari utakuja olewa na mtu ambaye atakufanya ujute maisha yako yote ya ndoa. Unaweza kuolewa na mtu TAJIRI LAKINI aliyepata/anayepata utajiri kwa njia za mwizi au jambazi. Au unaweza kuolewa na msomi lakini akawa mtu ambaye hana kabisa upendo kwako wewe na kwa familia. Wewe ni mtu mzima na msomi olewa na mtu unayempenda kwa vigezo vyako wewe na sio vinginevyo. KUNA USEMI HUU, UKICHAGUA SANA NAZI MWISHO UTACHAGUA KORONA AU UKICHAMBA SANA MWISHO UTAKAMATA MAVI.
     
  20. E

    Edo JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Dec 29, 2009
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    Najma, jina lako linanishawishi wewe ni wa dini fulani. Na kwa umri wako, baba na mama yako sasa hivi watakuwa wameweka dini mbele. Sasa wakumbushe katika dini yenu, mwanamke anatakiwa kuangalia vitu gani kwa mwanamume wa kuoana naye? Vipo viwili tu. Fanya search kwenye mtandao halafu nenda kwa hao wazazi wako, wape hiyo nondo; ukimaliza nialike kwenye harusi na mchango nitakupa! Please make a decision now; Good luck !
     
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