Dada ya Rafiki yangu ananitesa nifanyeje?

[Salanga]

Unwritten rules of dating

Men and women have a tacit code of conduct amongst themselves - The Bro Code and
Chic Code. But is this Bible an excuse for pack rats or is it a guide to being a
'brother's keeper'. ALLAN OLINGO explores

A bro is prohibited from dating another bro’s sister and if this happens, it is a
serious crime among guys. On the other hand, a girl should never date her
girlfriend’s ex.

Welcome to the world of unwitten rules of dating — The Bro Code and The Chic Code.

The Bro Code is a set of unwritten rules that govern men’s actions written by Matt
Kuhn and documented by Barney Stinson of the How I Met Your Mother TV comedy.

It provides men with tools to become a ‘bro’ and behave properly among other bros.

The Chic Code, on the other hand, is a loosely crafted rule drafted from The Bro
Code, but with a bias to women.

Even though these codes have a high moral threshold, many people still break them.
That explains why it is not rare to find a man dating his best friend’s ex, which is
contrary to the silent rules.

Michael Odongo, a programme officer at an Australian firm, says The Bro Code is a
cunning way for men to have fun at the expense of women.

He says: "It is an excuse for men to defend their wayward behaviours in the name of
being each other’s keeper.

"How do you expect me to follow a code that states: "A bro shall find out from his
fellow friends where a woman fits on the hot scale before pursuing her?" he poses.

"As much as most of the contents in The Bro Code touch on relationships, the
intentions are selfish and retrogressive in the dating world," he adds.

Betty Wanjala says the Chic Code still holds water depending on how close you are
with your girlfriends.

She adds: "If you break the code, you have betrayed a friend."

Betty admits that she would never do something against The Chic Code, especially
dating her friend’s ex.

Secrets and cheating

"Some of the rules make sense but those that touch on secrets and cheating are
tricky to follow," she says.

Psychologist Kennedy Miduwa says that even though the written version of these codes
has been wittily documented, men and women have long practised most of its contents.

"There are a lot of silent code of conducts between men and women which govern
relations between both sexes," adds Miduwa. Maina Kung’u, a customer care executive,
says although much of the code has good moral intentions, many people choose to
discard it.

"There is a rule that says, ‘Thou shall place bros before a woman’, yet many men
will always be at the beck and call of their girlfriends," he says.

Following this code to the letter, Maina notes, is impractical.

He quips: "It will be utterly irresponsible for me to live by The Bro Code at the
expense of my woman."

So what happens when one breaks the code?

"There is nothing much that happens when one goes against this code. But most of the
time, your clique shuns you especially if you trespassed into someone’s personal
space," adds Miduwa.

Ann Mutua says the code among girls is a sensitive matter because going against the
agreed rules has consequences.

"It is best to follow your instincts and never cross the line. I will always remain
true to my girls, though there are many instances I have seen some of our friends go
against The Chic Code, say by dating another girlfriend’s ex," she says.

To shed more light on the subject, here are some of the contents in the book The Bro
Code.

The Bro Code

Thou shall not covet your bro’s wife, fiancÈ or girlfriend. This is the most
cardinal sin among bros.

Bro’s interests

Never put a woman’s wants before your bro’s. Simply put, if you are hanging out with
your bro and your woman calls for you, ignore her. On the other hand, if you are out
with a woman and a brother calls for your help, rush to his aid.

Sexual history

If a woman inquires about another brother’s sexual history, a bro shall honour the
code of silence. It is better to have women think that all men are stupid than to
tell the truth.

Sexual relationships

A bro is prohibited from dating another bro’s sister. This is important because the
relationship might fail and when this happens, it ends on a sour note. This is just
to protect the relationship between two bros.

Interventions

Should a bro become smitten with love, his bros shall stage an intervention and
attempt to heal him. This is more commonly known as a ‘bachelor party’.

Dealing with break-ups

If a bro suffers heartache after a break-up, bros shall offer nothing more than
copious quantities of beer.

Handling introductions

When introducing a brother to a woman, a guy must potray him in good light
especially if the bro has interest in the woman being introduced.

Keeping secrets

If a brother asks another to keep a secret, he shall take it to the grave.

Dating

If a bro is hitting it off with a woman, his fellow bros shall do anything within
their means to ensure the desired outcome is achieved. A bro shall not kill another
bro’s’chances to score with a woman. It is also important for one to find out from
his fellow friends where a woman fits on the hot scale before pursuing her.

Dealing with a bro’s ex

Bros are prohibited from making passes at their bro’s ex girlfriends. You should
never go out with her until the time of ‘mourning’ passes. Mark you the ‘mourning’
period is forever.

 

[fabinyo]

na ukimbatua tu mimba hiyooooo

 

[lilove]

kutoingia kishawishini haimaanishi we bwabwa, acha mawazo ya kizamani

 

[njiwa]

Siyo mkweli mkuu, huyo anakuchekea kama kaka yake wewe tayari ushangonoka.
Kama unabisha jaribu uone.

Umeona ehh ...

 

[THK DJAYZZ]

Kama nawe umempenda kweli basi onja asali kidogo kama tamuu beba jumla.

 

[Borat]

Nina rafiki yangu ambaye sasa ni kama ndugu kwa sababu nimeshikamana nae kwa takribani miaka 12 sasa. Ana dad yake (mdogo) ambaye anatumia mamna nyigni sana kunitega nimbatue. lakini ninajitahidi sana kuvumila nisitumbukie huko. lakini hali bado ni mbaya sana mitego imezidi kipimo mingine ni ya wazi. sijue nifanyeje.

kuu ni PM contact zake wewe hakufai huyo

 

[kijukuu kindo]

Ngoja niendelee kuvumilia. Asanteni sana kwa mawazo

Biblia yasema mtu akikushauri kutenda dhambi, usimsikilize, mdharau kabisa.

 

[kichomiz]

Nina rafiki yangu ambaye sasa ni kama ndugu kwa sababu nimeshikamana nae kwa takribani miaka 12 sasa. Ana dad yake (mdogo) ambaye anatumia mamna nyigni sana kunitega nimbatue. lakini ninajitahidi sana kuvumila nisitumbukie huko. lakini hali bado ni mbaya sana mitego imezidi kipimo mingine ni ya wazi. sijue nifanyeje.

Aseeee!! Mbona sisi wengine hizo bahati hatuzipati.