1 Peter 3:1–22
Win over, with or without words
Living out the Christian life is the most appropriate way of passing on the good news to those who live in very close proximity to you. This certainly applies to your family, work colleagues and those you live with. Often you can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips.
This is of great importance if your husband or wife is not a Christian. Peter encourages Christian wives that if any of them have husbands who do not believe the word, they may be won over without words, when they see the purity and reverence of their lives (v.2).
They may be indifferent to any words about God but they will be ‘captivated by your life of holy beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance… but your inner disposition’ (vv.3–4, MSG). There is a beauty greater than outer beauty, ‘that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight’ (v.4).
The teaching of Jesus, and of the apostles, about the way in which husbands should behave is revolutionary. In a society where only wives had duties and only husbands had rights, Peter says here that both have duties towards each other.
Just as he tells the wives to be ‘good wives’ (v.1, MSG), he tells the husbands to be ‘good husbands’ (v.6, MSG). ‘Honour them, delight in them… treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground’ (v.7, MSG). He says husbands should be considerate and show respect. Unless you get this relationship right your prayers will not be effective (v.7).
What is the lifestyle that will win people over without words? It is one of living in harmony with one another, of sympathetic love, compassion and humility; where evil is not repaid with evil, nor insult with insult, but with blessing (vv.8–9): ‘No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless – that’s your job, to bless. You’ll be a blessing and also get a blessing’ (v.9, MSG).
This involves controlling your tongue, ‘Say nothing evil or hurtful’ (v.10, MSG). Train yourself always to speak positively and truthfully. You are to ‘snub evil and cultivate good; run after peace for all you’re worth’ (v.11, MSG). This will lead to a life without fear (v.14), where Jesus is set apart in your heart as Lord (v.15).
‘Without words’ may be the best initial way to win over those in close proximity to you. However, words are also very important. Do not be ashamed to speak: ‘Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect’ (v.15).
Arrogance and rudeness will seldom win people over. As well as a verbal defence, you need a moral defence – a clear conscience, so that people can say what they like about you and it does not matter because God knows the truth: ‘Keep a clear conscience before God so that when people throw mud at you, none of it will stick’ (v.16, MSG).
As Rick Warren says, ‘You cannot control the lies that people may speak about you, but you can control the truth... Live so that people have to make up stuff in order to accuse you.’ It is the cross and resurrection that makes a clear conscience possible. Jesus died for sins, once for all… to bring you to God (v.18).
This is what baptism symbolises: ‘not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a good conscience towards God.’ (v.21).
Lord, help me to live with a clear conscience.