Nahitaji kumuacha

vivian · Oct 7, 2013

Ive been dating this guy for 3yrs now, he has been nice to me all this while introducing me to his family and all .The issue is that 3weeks ago I noticed I had an infection in my private parts so I told him about it and requested that the both of us to go for a test but he kept making excuses and saying he had no money.

After 2 weeks of pestering him, I got some money went for the test only to find out that I had a sexually transmitted infection. I got really mad at him because he was the only man I have slept with without protection, I confronted him and told him how I trusted him and he betrayed me by going out to sleep with other women without protection and still come and do same with me and yet he could not even help in the treatment.

He replied saying that he was sorry and accepted he had messed up. I spent over 7k for test and treatment. I asked him to give me space to reflect on everything because I don't trust him anymore, he replied saying that I can have all the space that I want. My question is, is he worth a second chance?

Naombeni majibu

Mlitika · Oct 7, 2013

vivian said:
Ive been dating this guy for 3yrs now, he has been nice to me all this while introducing me to his family and all .The issue is that 3weeks ago I noticed I had an infection in my private parts so I told him about it and requested that the both of us to go for a test but he kept making excuses and saying he had no money.

After 2 weeks of pestering him, I got some money went for the test only to find out that I had a sexually transmitted infection. I got really mad at him because he was the only man I have slept with without protection, I confronted him and told him how I trusted him and he betrayed me by going out to sleep with other women without protection and still come and do same with me and yet he could not even help in the treatment.

He replied saying that he was sorry and accepted he had messed up. I spent over 7k for test and treatment. I asked him to give me space to reflect on everything because I don't trust him anymore, he replied saying that I can have all the space that I want. My question is, is he worth a second chance?

Naombeni majibu

Pole sana vivian.
I really share your concern and my resolute advice to you before we talk on "second chance" is that you go for some more serious check up and blood screening.
To me "sex" should mean "true love, honest and trust", and can not be reduced to time-passing bodily pleasure like the call of nature. Now you seem disappointed because the guy engaged in what you call "unprotected sex" with others just as he does with you; but to me the concept of protected sex is futile because of what I believe about love and sex. Reading you between the lines I reckon that the two of you are NOT IN TRUE LOVE and here are my reasons:

he was the only man I have slept with without protection here means you too sex with other guys other than him but only with some protection. He is just the only guy you can do it without protection and so true love, honest and trustworthiness is missing with you. You are just furious with him for doing it with others without protection.
he replied saying that I can have all the space that I want - Well, this is very serious. He doesn't care if you choose to opt him out for good.

Now let us be realistic and face it. The two of you have been messing up with one another and with others without true love to my understanding. You need to discern to the objective meaning of "love" before you can begin thinking about connecting your genitals. Dating should come last if you wanna give it the dignity it deserve. Otherwise, be generous with your sexuality and so prone to always falling victim of situations like this and more.

Sorry for being so judgmental.

Judgement · Oct 7, 2013

Keep in mind that if your partener cares abt you , and you abt him/her you will want to kip each other safe frm any diseases.
Wala sikushauri umtose , kwani waweza kimbia kuuwawako maiti ikazikwa , ukaenda kuuwawako maiti yako ikapikwa na kuliwa.
Suggest that , both of you get tested for STD includin HIV , several times. Baada ya kuwa mmetibiwa tatizo currently.
Remember vivian being tested does not mean you are worried that either you or your partner is infected.
Let each dimension of your relationship , develop increased level of trust , coz you and your partner have gotten to know each other better than others.

Tetra · Oct 7, 2013

::
Nahisi ikienda MMU itapata wataalamu wa mahusiano wakupe mwangaza.
Sijui Moderator wanasemaje
=

Nyetk · Oct 7, 2013

Mlitika said:
Pole sana vivian.
I really share your concern and my resolute advice to you before we talk on "second chance" is that you go for some more serious check up and blood screening.
To me "sex" should mean "true love, honest and trust", and can not be reduced to time-passing bodily pleasure like the call of nature. Now you seem disappointed because the guy engaged in what you call "unprotected sex" with others just as he does with you; but to me the concept of protected sex is futile because of what I believe about love and sex. Reading you between the lines I reckon that the two of you are NOT IN TRUE LOVE and here are my reasons:

he was the only man I have slept with without protection here means you too sex with other guys other than him but only with some protection. He is just the only guy you can do it without protection and so true love, honest and trustworthiness is missing with you. You are just furious with him for doing it with others without protection.

he replied saying that I can have all the space that I want - Well, this is very serious. He doesn't care if you choose to opt him out for good.

Now let us be realistic and face it. The two of you have been messing up with one another and with others without true love to my understanding. You need to discern to the objective meaning of "love" before you can begin thinking about connecting your genitals. Dating should come last if you wanna give it the dignity it deserve. Otherwise, be generous with your sexuality and so prone to always falling victim of situations like this and more.

Sorry for being so judgmental.

I would have said exactly the same.

Judgement · Oct 7, 2013

Tetra said:
::
Nahisi ikienda MMU itapata wataalamu wa mahusiano wakupe mwangaza.
Sijui Moderator wanasemaje
=

Mkuu huoni ungetumia neno zuri la kumshauri ahamishe mada! Tofauti na hili ? Kwa hivyo si unamwambia hapa hakuna wenye capacity ya utaalamu wa kumshauri ?
Umetudharau kiivo kweli ?
Wengine huko Mmu ni wageni .
Kikubwa sana hapa ni kipi Tetra?

Mamndenyi · Oct 7, 2013

Pole mwaya,
Kwa kuwa wengine tulishawahi kukutwa na majanga
kama hayo japo miaka mingi nyuma, ngoja niendelee kusoma
kwanza maoni ya wenzangu.

Tetra · Oct 7, 2013

Judgement said:
Mkuu huoni ungetumia neno zuri la kumshauri ahamishe mada! Tofauti na hili ? Kwa hivyo si unamwambia hapa hakuna wenye capacity ya utaalamu wa kumshauri ?
Umetudharau kiivo kweli ?
Wengine huko Mmu ni wageni .
Kikubwa sana hapa ni kipi Tetra?

::
An apology Judgement hoja yangu haikulenga kudharau mtu bali kuona kuwa hili ni jukwaa la utani na kwa upande wa ushauri naona wengi hupatikana sana MMU Na haina maana ushauri wa jukwaa lolote haufai La! Dawa nzuri hupatikana katika chupa ndogo.
Nisamehe bure kwa kudhani nimedharau yeyote.
=

Judgement · Oct 7, 2013

Tetra said:
::
An apology Judgement hoja yangu haikulenga kudharau mtu bali kuona kuwa hili ni jukwaa la utani na kwa upande wa ushauri naona wengi hupatikana sana MMU Na haina maana ushauri wa jukwaa lolote haufai La! Dawa nzuri hupatikana katika chupa ndogo.
Nisamehe bure kwa kudhani nimedharau yeyote.
=

Nimekusoma, nimekuelewa!
Sina tatizo na wewe btw , due your response.
Twen'zetu na manginewe.

Judgement · Oct 7, 2013

Mamndenyi said:
Pole mwaya,
Kwa kuwa wengine tulishawahi kukutwa na majanga
kama hayo japo miaka mingi nyuma, ngoja niendelee kusoma
kwanza maoni ya wenzangu.

Afu wewe!
Wewee!
Nakuangalia tu unavyonipitiapitia na miondoko ya kichokozi na kun'tega!
We endelea your days are numbered ujue!
Shaul'lako!
Sitoangalia sijui chamapinduzi ! Sijui chabishanga! Mistaroki! Sijui nanii !

Judgement · Oct 7, 2013

Mamndenyi said:
Pole mwaya,
Kwa kuwa wengine tulishawahi kukutwa na majanga
kama hayo japo miaka mingi nyuma, ngoja niendelee kusoma
kwanza maoni ya wenzangu.

Afu wewe!
Wewee!
Nakuangalia tu unavyonipitiapitia na miondoko ya kichokozi na kun'tega!
We endelea your days are numbered ujue!
Shaul'lako!
Sitoangalia sijui chamapinduzi ! Sijui chabishanga! Mistaroki! Sijui nanii !
Siku nikianzisha "operation kimbunga" hili jukwaa litatoboka!

vivian · Oct 7, 2013

Mlitika said:
Pole sana vivian.
I really share your concern and my resolute advice to you before we talk on "second chance" is that you go for some more serious check up and blood screening.
To me "sex" should mean "true love, honest and trust", and can not be reduced to time-passing bodily pleasure like the call of nature. Now you seem disappointed because the guy engaged in what you call "unprotected sex" with others just as he does with you; but to me the concept of protected sex is futile because of what I believe about love and sex. Reading you between the lines I reckon that the two of you are NOT IN TRUE LOVE and here are my reasons:

he was the only man I have slept with without protection here means you too sex with other guys other than him but only with some protection. He is just the only guy you can do it without protection and so true love, honest and trustworthiness is missing with you. You are just furious with him for doing it with others without protection.

he replied saying that I can have all the space that I want - Well, this is very serious. He doesn't care if you choose to opt him out for good.

Now let us be realistic and face it. The two of you have been messing up with one another and with others without true love to my understanding. You need to discern to the objective meaning of "love" before you can begin thinking about connecting your genitals. Dating should come last if you wanna give it the dignity it deserve. Otherwise, be generous with your sexuality and so prone to always falling victim of situations like this and more.

Sorry for being so judgmental.

I just meant am I wasnt a virgin when I met him.

I dont sleep with different men my dear

Thank you so Much for your advise though

cyprian6 · Oct 7, 2013

Duuh pole aisee angalia uelekeo kama alisha kubali ali mess up, anakupenda labda, kwa wanaume haionekani mapema labda aliona unazingua hv..kwa maoni yangu tu..

Mamndenyi · Oct 7, 2013

Haaaa
ha ha ha haaa
ujue nimecheka kweli kweli,
loooh, we mtoto wewe acha hizo.

Judgement said:
Afu wewe!
Wewee!
Nakuangalia tu unavyonipitiapitia na miondoko ya kichokozi na kun'tega!
We endelea your days are numbered ujue!
Shaul'lako!
Sitoangalia sijui chamapinduzi ! Sijui chabishanga! Mistaroki! Sijui nanii !

Paloma · Oct 7, 2013

embu jitibie kwanza..... jali sana afya yako!!!

OLESAIDIMU · Oct 7, 2013

Alikubali na.kuomba msamaha!!!!!!

Ukalazimisha upewe muda umepewa sasa inakuuma nini????!!!!

Tupo wengi wanaume wa hivyo tukiomba msamaha maana yake ni kukubali kosa na ukikubali kosa kuna kusamehewa au kuadhibiwa yote ni matokeo!!!!!!

Wewe umeadhibu kwa separation sasa unataka afanye nini!!!!?????

Jamani mtu anapokubali kosa na kuomba msamaha maana yake yupo tayari kwa lolote ati msichukulie kuombwa msamaha kama free lunch,ina gharama zake pia!!!!!

Mashaxizo · Oct 7, 2013

Hapa ndio tuseme mapenzi ni moyo? Ni kweli akili haina nafasi katika mapenzi?
...embu acha ungaji!!
Second chance!! Umpe wewe au akupe yeye???
Kwa mujibu wa maelezo yako, huyo mtu HAKUTAKI! na vile vile HAKUPENDI!
...
Wanaume wameisha au?
Kama wameisha katafute DILDO litakusaidia!

vivian said:
Ive been dating this guy for 3yrs now, he has been nice to me all this while introducing me to his family and all .The issue is that 3weeks ago I noticed I had an infection in my private parts so I told him about it and requested that the both of us to go for a test but he kept making excuses and saying he had no money.

After 2 weeks of pestering him, I got some money went for the test only to find out that I had a sexually transmitted infection. I got really mad at him because he was the only man I have slept with without protection, I confronted him and told him how I trusted him and he betrayed me by going out to sleep with other women without protection and still come and do same with me and yet he could not even help in the treatment.

He replied saying that he was sorry and accepted he had messed up. I spent over 7k for test and treatment. I asked him to give me space to reflect on everything because I don't trust him anymore, he replied saying that I can have all the space that I want. My question is, is he worth a second chance?

Naombeni majibu

phill · Oct 7, 2013

We all nid a second chance in life my dear,mpe kwa masharti lkn unampenda?

Heaven on Earth · Oct 7, 2013

pole mwaya......ila he seems like he dont care....

kichwat · Oct 7, 2013

do the simplest thing, DUMP HIM. But you never know who will be your next guy ...will he be Mr good or Mr bad?

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