msaada huyu naye ana mapenzi au...

SMU said:

Huyo jamaa si fisadi kama wengi wanavyojaribu kusuggest. Wamekuwa na mahusiano ya karibu na huyo dada kwa miaka takriban 14. Amekuwa persistently anaamini huyo dada ndio chaguo lake pamoja na kwamba yeye keshaoa na huyo dada keshaolewa. Amekuwa anajitahidi kujiweka karibu na huyo dada pamoja ukweli wote kuhusu marital status yake na ya huyo dada.

Kama angelikuwa fisadi (i.e. anataka kumwonja tu huyo dada!), kwa hakika asingeweza kufuatilia kwa muda wote huu (14 yrs!).

Huyo jamaa ni mgonjwa. Ana tatizo kubwa la kisaikolojia linamsumbua. Huyo dada ajaribu kumshawishi huyo kaka kuonana na mshauri nasaha. Hili litamsaidia sana huyo 'rafiki yake' kuondokana na tatizo hilo na pia kupunguza usumbufu unaompata huyo dada. Lakini pia huyo dada ilitakiwa amshirikishe mumewe tangu mwanzo. Kwa sasa atabidi awe extra careful kama anataka kumshirikisha mumewe.

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Outlier said:

Huyo 'kijana' ana tatizo la akili linaitwa OBSESSION.

Umeona movie ya Beyonce? Obsessed?

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bibi kizee said:

asante ila sasa mambo yanakuwa magumu, mtoa ushauri naanza kuogopa sikuwa na hilo wazo kabisaaaa, sasa MGONJWA atatuelewa tukimwambia awaone washauri nasaha!!! si anaweza kutuambia sisi ndio wagonjwa maana hapa yanakuja yale ya boss kuambiwa ana minyoo!!
asante nitajitahidi kufikiria jinsi ya kufikisha ujumbe kwa shoga naendelea kupokea ushauri nijue nini haswa nikamshauri!!

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• Kumshawishi huyo kaka aamini kwamba lengo lake (goal) la kuwa na huyo dada kama mke haliwezi kutimia (it is impossible to meet the goal).
• Aamini kuwa kuendelea kufikiria kwamba lengo lake linaweza kutimia is irrational and unreasonable given his circumstances.
• Aamini kuwa si lazima kufikia malengo ambayo yapo nje ya uwezo wake. Ajifunze ku settle for lesser but satisfying goals ambazo zipo ndani ya uwezo wake.

SMU said:

Sio ngumu, mwambie amjaribu. Kwa ugonjwa alionao (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - OCD), inatakiwa mshauri/mshauri nasaha afanye angalau vifuatavyo:

• Kumshawishi huyo kaka aamini kwamba lengo lake (goal) la kuwa na huyo dada kama mke haliwezi kutimia (it is impossible to meet the goal).
• Aamini kuwa kuendelea kufikiria kwamba lengo lake linaweza kutimia is irrational and unreasonable given his circumstances.
• Aamini kuwa si lazima kufikia malengo ambayo yapo nje ya uwezo wake. Ajifunze ku settle for lesser but satisfying goals ambazo zipo ndani ya uwezo wake.

Pia jaribu kumwambia rafiki yako awe very clear kwenye kauli zake kwa huyo kaka kwa sababu inawezekana naye pia anachangia kulikuza tatizo kama anatoa majibu ambayo yanamfanya huyo kaka aamini kwamba iko siku moja wanaweza kuwa pamoja. Kama hampendi, ni vizuri aliweke hili very clear kwa macho makavu kabisa na bila kuuma maneno!

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bibi kizee said:

Asante! nitajitahidi kufikisha ujumbe na kuyatekeleza hayo kwa makini zaidi, kama kutafuta mshauri mwenye utaalam huo ili atusaidia kufikisha ujumbe,
kuhusu huyu rafiki kuwa clear anajitahidi na huwa anamwambia, mie sikupendi na wala sitaki tuwe wapenzi pindi anapoona huyu kaka anavuka mipaka na hili husababisha huyu kaka kuchanganyikiwa zaidi, kulia, kubembeleza nk mambo ambayo ni ya hatari zaidi!!

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