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Vichekesho kumi za leo teh teh teh!!!

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by e2themiza, Sep 10, 2011.

  1. e2themiza

    e2themiza JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Sep 10, 2011
    Joined: Mar 29, 2011
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    1.

    Maswali haya je una majibi? JIBU KISHA NITUMIE MAJIBU![mtihani wa maarifa ya dunia] 1. Kama hela haioti kwny miti, kwnn bank zina matawi? 2. Kwnn gundi haigandi kwenye chupa yake? 3. Kama tunatakiwa tusi-drive wkt tumekunywa, kwnn bar kuna parking? 4. Kama neno abbreviation linamaanisha ufupisho, kwnn lenyewe ni refu hvo? 5. Kama tunatakiwa kufanya sex ndani ya ndoa 2, kwnn tunabalehe kabla ya kufunga ndoa? Kazi kwako...



    2.

    Taxi Mwanamke aliingia kwnye tax akiwa hana nguo,km alivyozaliwa!Dereva akawa anamshangaa,mwanamke akamuuliza hujawahi kuona uchi au! Dereva akajibu.ninachoshangaa c uchi wako,najiuliza pesa ya kunilipa utakuwa umeiweka wapi?


    3.

    Siri Baba: mwanangu, enhe shika hii 500Tsh usimuambie mama yako kuwa nimelala na housegirl. Mtoto: sitaki, tatizo we baba ni mbahiri sana mwenzio mama akilala na dereva ananipaga 1,000Tsh.

    4.
    Tendo la ndoa TENDO LA NDOA LINAVYOOMBWA: WAMASAI: Mama Yeyo nipe ile kitu namesa mwensake WAHAYA: Mama Koku infacti njoo tuperform WACHAGA: Mama Manka Fungua Kibubu nitupe shilingi WAPEMBA: Mama Ali panua paja mti waja! WAZARAMO:((hamna tafsida)andaa k*#, mb*$$ yaja


    5.
    Short na Long Call Kama haja ndogo ni ''short call'' Haja kubwa ni "long call" Basi kujamba iitwe "missed call"


    6.
    Heshima Mtoto kaona nyeti ya baba yake, Akauliza "nini hii"? Baba,akajibu "ni Heshima", kesho yake wakaja wageni, baba akamwambia mtoto, "toa heshima kwa wageni", mtoto akatoa Nyeti yake, akaonesha, wageni wakashangaa! mtoto akasema "mnashangaa haka kadogo, baba anayo heshima kubwaaa......!


    7.
    Kurudi shule Mtoto kamuuliza babake; " Eti baba, Unataka kuanza tena shule? Baba akauliza: "kwa nini Umeuliza hivyo? Mtoto akamwambia: Jana uthiku, nilickia ukimnong'oneza mama" Eti, kama anapenda, Muende la pili..! " Hivi Baba mimi niko la nne wewe na mama itakuwaje mwende la pili? Uthikubali hata kdogo"

    8.
    Mchaga. Mchaga alipata ajali alipozinduka pale hospitali akauliza "nipo wapi hapa?" Nesi akajibu,"umepata ajali, hapa upo hospitali. Bahati mbaya umekatika mkono." Mgonjwa: Na je saa yangu ipo wapi ya Rolex? Ipo mzee, nesi alijibu. Nesi: Mkeo na watoto wapo hapa kukufariji. Mgonjwa: Yeuwi... Wamefunga duka?


    9.
    Kimombo na sms Jamaa katumiwa msg na dem wake,kutokana na urefu wa msg ikashindwa kufika yote mwishoni ikaandika'some text missing'jamaa kizungu hajui hivyo maneno ya mwisho hakuelewa maana yake lkn akahisi litakuwa neno la kimahaba,kusudi aonekane mjanja akajibu, "some text missing too dear"


    10.
    Vibweka vya housegirl Mama mwenye nyumba "jamani nyie watoto wa nyumba hii, vijiti vya meno nimeleta juzi tu leo vimeisha?" Ndipo hoousgirl akadakia na kusema "mama mimi simo humo maana kila nikitumia nikimaliza tu navirudishiaga humo humo."
     
  2. ARV

    ARV JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Sep 10, 2011
    Joined: Sep 6, 2011
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    teh teh te he he e e e, ebwama hizi zote kali,lakini nimeipenda zaidi hii ya 'missed call' teh!
     
  3. tpellah

    tpellah Member

    #3
    Sep 10, 2011
    Joined: May 19, 2011
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    Poa mkali
     
  4. Babkey

    Babkey JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Sep 10, 2011
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    Huhuuuu!
     
  5. Mtalingolo

    Mtalingolo JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Sep 10, 2011
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    Mkuu hizo vichekesho zime2lia mbaya, big up sanaaa
     
  6. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Sep 10, 2011
    Joined: Nov 26, 2009
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    i wish ingeitwa 'beep',lol
    <br />
    <br />
     
  7. Apollo

    Apollo JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Sep 10, 2011
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    Mkuu, thanx kwa kunichangamsha.
     
  8. d

    dy/dx JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Sep 10, 2011
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    hahahahaha mkuu vichekesho vyako vikali sana,nimependa namba 5 na 6.
     
  9. Mzee

    Mzee JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Sep 10, 2011
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    Wikiend yangu imeanza vyema sana.
     
  10. Gold Addict

    Gold Addict Senior Member

    #10
    Sep 10, 2011
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    mkuu nimependa sana namba 8..
     
  11. ChaterMaster

    ChaterMaster JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Sep 10, 2011
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    mkuu nimeipenda hii maaana ndan mwake ipo fact,
    ""Kama tunatakiwa kufanya sex ndani ya ndoa 2, kwnn tunabalehe kabla ya kufunga ndoa?""
     
  12. MUREFU

    MUREFU JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Sep 10, 2011
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    dah! Men u made ma day dah! Nimeikubal ya dereva wa tax zaid
     
  13. Rashdind

    Rashdind Senior Member

    #13
    Sep 10, 2011
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    <br />
    <br />
    the same u me.
     
  14. Rashdind

    Rashdind Senior Member

    #14
    Sep 10, 2011
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    <br />
    <br />
    the same 2 me.
     
  15. OTIS

    OTIS JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Sep 10, 2011
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    Missed call ya ukweli sana.
     
  16. Mb-one

    Mb-one JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Sep 10, 2011
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    Daah,mzee unatisha,ni nomaah
     
  17. Bushbaby

    Bushbaby JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Sep 10, 2011
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    duh.. namba mbili ni noma!!
     
  18. Shine

    Shine JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Sep 10, 2011
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    Du ebwana mbavu sina japo in reality sio nimezipenda kwa ujumla
     
  19. T

    Tasia I JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Sep 10, 2011
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    6 na 7 imeleta aree sana.
     
  20. Kwamex

    Kwamex JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Sep 10, 2011
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    Naihifadhi kwa matumizi ya kiofisi tu.
     
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