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Ushauri wa ndoa hizi za kanisani!!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mshuwa, Jun 8, 2012.

  1. M

    Mshuwa Member

    #1
    Jun 8, 2012
    Joined: Apr 3, 2012
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    Wakuu heshima Kwenu wote. wakuu nimeleta maada hii kutokana na yaliyomkuta rafiki yangu wa karibu aliyefunga ndoa mwaka 2008 na sasa anateseka nayo baada ya mke kuondoka na kurudi kwao na kupokelewa kwa furaha na upendo. hii imeshitusha kwa kuwa nami nilikuwa nikiwa kwenye mchakato wa kutafuta mwenza wa kufa na kuzikana.

    tarrifa yenyewe ni kama hivi ifuatavyo kama alivyonihusisha..

    Yeye na mke wake walikuwa kwenye mahusiano kabla ya kufikia maamuzi ya kuwa mwili mmoja kwa muda wa miaka mitatu toka 2006 mpaka novemba 2008 ambapo waliamua kuhararisha mahusiano yao kwa kufunga ndoa ya kanisani na kubwa iliyopongezwa na watu wote walioshuhudia decemba 2008.

    toka hapo ndoa ilikuwa ya raha na furaha tele pia wamejariwa kupata mtoto mzuri anayefanana nayo wa kiume ndani ya ndoa mwaka uliofuata ambapo kwa sasa ametimiza miaka 3.

    ndugu yangu anacholalamika ni kuwa huyu mke wake alikuwa na tabia ya kuwa kila anapojisikia anarudi nyumba kwao hata akikatazwa na mume wake alikuwa hasiki wakiongea leo kuhusu hili kesho utasikia nipo nyumbani baadae ikabidi akubaliane na hali halisia.

    uvumilivu huwa ulimuisha mwezi wa tatu pale mke wake alipooomba likizo kazini kwake na kumuumba mume we kuwa dada yake Dar anaumwa hivyo anaomba ruhusa ya wiki moja aende kumuuguza na alimkubalia kwa upendo wote.Ndugu yaangu kilichompata ni kuwa toka alivyooondoka huko hakurudi mpaka likizo ilipoisha na ariporudi amekuja moja kwa moja kwao nahivi ninavyoelezea haya yuko kwako.

    ndugu yangu alijitahidi kufuyata taratibu zote za kujua hatima ya yote kupitia kwa washenga kwenda kuongea na wazaze wake kuonge na wasimamizi wa ndoa na sasa anategemea kwenda kwa paroko kujua hatma ya ndoa yake.

    Zaidi ni maneno machafu anayoongea huyo mkewe kwa kumwambia kuwa hajawahi kuwa mume wake na kama alikuwa imekuwa ni historia na alimviazia akiwa kazini akaja nyumbani kuvunja nyumba nakuchukuwa vitu vyote walivyozawadiwa kwenye harusi na sendoff nakuvipeleka kwao.

    ni mengi ya kuongelea hapa kutokana na maelezo ya rafiki yangu. Sasa kwa kuwa humu kuna waumini na wazoefu wa mambo haya naomba ushauri rafiki yangu afenyeje kunusuru ndoa yake yeye hataki ivunjike japo mke anaeema hatarudi na hataki kumsikiliza mtu yeyote.

    kumbuka ni ushauri unaotakiwa hasa kwa wale walio waumini na wafahamu taratibu zote za kutengana hasa ndugu yangu anapotaka kuliwasilisha kwa paroko kama sehemu ya mwisho ya usuluhishi.
     
  2. Mvaa Tai

    Mvaa Tai JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jun 8, 2012
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    Mimi nadhani usije ukaangalia matatizo ya hiyo ndoa then ukasitisha mipango yako ya kuwa na mke, Hiyo yaweza kuwa ni tabia tuu ya huyo mwanamke na familia yake. Ninavyo itazama mimi ni kwamba ajaribu kuwashirikisha viongozi wa dini wajaribu kukemea hiyo yaweza kuwa ni pepo tuu linakatiza katika ndoa yake asiivunje haraka.
     
  3. andishile

    andishile JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jun 8, 2012
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    hayo ni maeezo kutoka kwa rafiki yako,je maelezo ya mkewe unayajua?hakuna mtu anaweza kujua kiichojiri bia kukutana na wote wawili wakiwa pamoja!hizi kuta za nyumba zinaficha mengi,jaribuni kuwakutanisha kwa pamoja,usije kushangaa ukaja kukuta sababu ni tofauti kabisa na anzaokupa mwanaume!
     
  4. mzurimie

    mzurimie JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jun 8, 2012
    Joined: Oct 16, 2011
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    Huyo mke hataki tena ndoa mwambie asonge mbele, inauma ila. Cha muhimu ni kwenda huko kanisani na kueleza yote na watamshauri.

    Lazima kapata bwana mwingine huyo, mwambie asiwe na wasi Mungu. Yupo nae atapata mwingine na asimkubali huyo tena wala kulala nae anaweza kuwa na magonjwa sasa.

    Ni wazi mwanamke analala nje na mwanaume mwingine.
     
  5. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jun 8, 2012
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    Kuna wakati hata ufanye nini huwezi kushindana na hali halisi.Huyo jamaa anachofanya ni vyema,kutafuta suluhu.Lakini anaweza kujidai kuvaa miwani ya mbao ili asiuone ukweli.Mke wake hahitaji tena kuishi nae,wala hamheshimu,ni vigumu sana kuishi na mtu msieheshimiana!
     
  6. l

    lutolucy Member

    #6
    Jun 8, 2012
    Joined: Jun 8, 2012
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    Hao unaowazungumzia hapo nawafahamu vilivyo. Sasa ni hivi

    Huyo kaka alimpa ruhusa mke wake akamuuguze dada yake, wiki imekatika dada yake bado hali haikuwa nzuri akaomba kuendelea, kilichotokea baada ya hapo sasa. Huyo kaka akaandika kwenye wall yake ya fb "nimemruhusu mke wangu akasalimie wiki moja kaongeza sasa ni wiki ya pili naomba mnishauri nifanyeje?" sasa mtu kama huyo mambo ya yeye na mke wake akayaanike huko hiyo ni nzuri kweli?

    Toka hapo mahusiano yakawa sio mazuri, akamwambia "ukirudi usifikie nyumbani kwangu", mkewe alivyorudi akafikia nyumbani kwao. baada ya hapo akaenda nyumbani kwa mme wake akachukua vitu vyake ambavyo alipewa zawadi kwenye kitchen part yake pamoja na send of yake. Huyo kaka kuona hivyo akaamua kwenda POLISI moja kwa moja kumshtaki yule mwanamke kwamba kamuuibia nguo zake za mtoto pamoja na hela. Baada ya kufungua hiyo kesi hakurudi tena POLISI. akaanza kutangaza kwamba mwanamke simtaki nirudishiwe mahali yangu.

    Huyo kaka ni mnyanyasaji vibaya mno, katika maisha tunayoishi tunatakiwa kushirikiana na wenzetu na hasa majirani zetu. huyo kaka hataki kujishughulisha na chochote kuhusu jamii inayomzunguka, na huyo mke wake hapendezewi na hiyo tabia, kuna leo na kesho na wakukuwahi ni majirani kabla ya ndugu zako kufika. sasa huyo kaka hana mahusiano mazuri na watu inafikia kipindi haendi kwenye shughuri yeyote ile ambayo haina pombe. Alafu huwa anamtolea maneno ya kashfa sana mke wake kama vile alilazimishwa kumuoa.


    Yaani kuna mengi ambayo huyo kaka hajakwambia. Kukosea kupo aombe tu radhi yaishe asiendelee kuyaweka haya mambo yakawa makubwa.
     
  7. lolyz

    lolyz JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jun 8, 2012
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    lotolucy hicho usemacho kina ukweli? au unadilute? kamani kweli basi kaka atakuwa na matatizo tena makubwa..ambapo wanahitaji kukaachini wote wayazungumze...ndio shida ya kuolewa na masharobaro mweee
     
  8. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jun 8, 2012
    Joined: Jun 13, 2011
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    lutolucy na Mshua, kisa hucho mnakijua zaidi?

    Mshua, maelezo yako yanakosekana kitu.... Haiwezekani mke aende kwao bila sababu ya msingi.....

    Swali, mkioana, unaomba ruhusa? Mkeo hana uhuru? Mume ruhusaanaomba wapi?
    Ndoa sio utumwa, ni kuoanga na kusikilizana, mtakapoishi kama mume na mke mtadumu, ila mkiishi kama mtu na mtwana matokeo yake ni hayo.....

    lutolucy...
    Kama unayisema ni kweli huyo mwanaume ana tatizo kubwa...... Mambo ya ndoa yako huwezi yaanika sio tu kwenye fb hata mtaani hayapaswi kujulikana..... Kama usemayo ni kweli huyo mwanaume aache ubinafsi, aache kumchukulia mwenzie kama mtoto, mtu asiyekuwa nz mamlaka, asiyekuwa na maamuzi.....ndoa ni kushirikiana.....

    Kama unayosema ni kweli, huyo mke hakujua yote hayo kioindi cha uchumba? Hkujua tabia ya mwanaume kabla hajajiingiza ndoani?


    Mwisho ndoa ni mke na mume....
    Wao ndo wenye uwezo wa kubadilisha na kujijenga vile watakavyo....kila mmoja akimheshimu mwenzie na kuepuka kumtendea yale ambayo hataki atendewe ndoa huwa tamu.....

    Mwisho ubabe, ubinafsi, umiliki, tabia chafu, ubosi, utumwa havina nafasi kwenye ndoa....
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  9. charminglady

    charminglady JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jun 8, 2012
    Joined: Apr 16, 2012
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    ndugu yangu,rafiki yangu na mpenzi wangu Mshuwa usiangalie mabaya yaliyopo ktk ndoa ya rafk yako ukadhani na ndoa yako itakuwa hvyo. hakuna ndoa zinazofanana hata cku 1. kila ndoa ina uniqueness yake cos kila mtu ana tabia yake. km alivosema mdau lutolucy kuwa mwanaume ana matatizo huenda ikawa kweli make wewe umeckiliza upande 1. umesahau "Muamba ngozi daima huvutia kwake" ungeweza kuckiliza pande zote 2 ndo ungegundua nani mwenye makosa!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  10. charminglady

    charminglady JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jun 8, 2012
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    ndugu yangu,rafiki yangu na mpenzi wangu Mshuwa usiangalie mabaya yaliyopo ktk ndoa ya rafk yako ukadhani na ndoa yako itakuwa hvyo. hakuna ndoa zinazofanana hata cku 1. kila ndoa ina uniqueness yake cos kila mtu ana tabia yake. km alivosema mdau lutolucy kuwa mwanaume ana matatizo huenda ikawa kweli make wewe umeckiliza upande 1. umesahau "Muamba ngozi daima huvutia kwake" ungeweza kuckiliza pande zote 2 ndo ungegundua nani mwenye makosa!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  11. charminglady

    charminglady JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jun 8, 2012
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    ndugu yangu,rafiki yangu na mpenzi wangu Mshuwa usiangalie mabaya yaliyopo ktk ndoa ya rafk yako ukadhani na ndoa yako itakuwa hvyo. hakuna ndoa zinazofanana hata cku 1. kila ndoa ina uniqueness yake cos kila mtu ana tabia yake. km alivosema mdau lutolucy kuwa mwanaume ana matatizo huenda ikawa kweli make wewe umeckiliza upande 1. umesahau "Muamba ngozi daima huvutia kwake" ungeweza kuckiliza pande zote 2 ndo ungegundua nani mwenye makosa!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  12. M

    Mshuwa Member

    #12
    Jun 9, 2012
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    nitakuja na upande wa pili wa shilingi kesho kwa kuwa ndugu yangu hajui kama nimeamua kuomba ushauri huu kwenye mkusanyiko wa watu wasiowaona. ila leo nilikuwa na maongezi na upande wa pili wa shilingi.
     
  13. M

    Mshuwa Member

    #13
    Jun 9, 2012
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    coment zako zako zina njia mbili zisizofana ila kesho nitakuja na majibu yote ya unachokisenma na kwa kuwa ni mwanamke utajigundua kuwa mpaka unafika hapo mama yako na baba yako wana elimu kuliko uliyonayo kwenye mambo ya mahusiano kama kweli umelewa kinachomhusus rafiki yangu.


    nitakuja na upande wa pili wa shilingi kesho kwa kuwa ndugu yangu hajui kama nimeamua kuomba ushauri huu kwenye mkusanyiko wa watu wasiowaona. ila leo nilikuwa na maongezi na upande wa pili wa shilingi.
     
  14. charminglady

    charminglady JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Jun 9, 2012
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    tunasubiri kwa hamu sana!
     
  15. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #15
    Jun 9, 2012
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    Mwanaume kuachwa huwa inauma kweli....................!
     
  16. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Jun 9, 2012
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    kwanza kabisa ndugu MAMA YANGU NA BABA YANGUHAWAHUSIKI NA HII THREAD. Watch your tongue, watch your keybord!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Pili nimecomment kutokana na wewe na lutolucy mlivyojibizana, na kuyokana na maelezo yako 'ku-hang'

    nasubiriupande wa pili wa story, natumaini na lutolucy aliyedai kuwa anajua undani wa kisa hiki atakuwepo.

    NAKUMBUSHIA MARA YA MWISHO LINAPOKUJA SWALA LA KUCHANGIA WAZAZI MCHANGIAJI HAWAHUSIKI, MIND YOUR LANGUAGE NDUGU.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  17. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Jun 9, 2012
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    kuna hidden agenda in this shit, as for me give us a complete story narrated on both sides and you will have my honest opinion.
     
  18. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Jun 9, 2012
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    it seems you know the other side of the story na huenda hapa jf ukakuta ni mke husika na mume husika are battling so guys watch out. lutolucy relax madame'.

    back to Mshuwa dont give us a polished story, just tell the truth. nachelea kusema kuwa in between kuna kitu kimo ambacho nye wote wawili mnakijua au hamkijui.

    But Allien uwe refa hawa wawili naona kama ndo mr mwenyewe na mrs vile (natania)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  19. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Jun 9, 2012
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    Yaani hapa ndipo panakuwaga patamu.

    Mtu anakuja na story inayopotray picha ya jinsi gani yeye ni innocent victim, halafu mtu wa upande wa pili anakuja na his/her version.

    Angalizo, ukitaka ushauri wenye manufaa; weka kila kitu as it was/is. Ukiiweka ikufeve, well tutakufeva na mwisho wa siku soln hupati. Sympathy, yes utapata that's all!
     
  20. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Jun 9, 2012
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    hapa mr na mrs wamekutana, wameingia mitini
     
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