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Unajithamanishaje? ...Unathaminiwa?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mbu, Jul 10, 2011.

  1. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jul 10, 2011
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    ...pengine si jambo geni kusoma hata humu Jamiiforums watu wakijikweza kwa namna moja au nyingine. Huwa najiuliza,
    Kwanini utumie 'maguvu' kujionyesha u mbora ki hivyo badala kuachia 'Ukweli Ukidhihiri, uongo hujitenga' ikuhukumu?

    [​IMG]
    ...Self Esteem, (uwezo wa kujiamini) ni kigezo kimoja wapo cha nje watu wanachoweza kukibaini haraka kuliko wewe mwenyewe utavyotaka kuficha/kujikweza. Life Experiences na mapokeo yako ya challenges mbali mbali ni mojawapo ya mambo yawezayo kukujenga/kukubomolea Self Esteem yako.

    ...Do you feel Valued? ...Unashirikishwa? Unajiskia nawe kuwa ni sehemu muhimu ya maamuzi, ushauri, etc?

    • Nyumbani kwako? ...wanao/mkeo/msaidizi nyumbani/mlinzi/shamba boy etc
    • kwa familia yako?...kaka/dada/binamu/baba na mama. etc
    • kazini kwako?...juniors/seniors wako?
    • kwa marafiki zako?...au wanakuburuza tu, bendera fata upepo?
    • kwenye jamii yako?...i.e majirani, etc
    • kwa mwenza wako?...mpenzi/mke/mume etc
    Unachukua hatua zipi inapotokea hukushirikishwa kwenye maamuzi ambayo yanakuhusu wewe kwa namna moja au nyingine?...Do you feel Used? (yaani mtu/watu wanakutumia/wamekutumia kuhitimisha mahitaji yao)
    Kama ni hivyo, ulichukua/unachukua hatua gani kujihadhari na tabia hiyo isijirudie ukizingatia vigezo vyote i.e
    Nyumbani kwako, Kazini, Mapenzi, Familia, etc...Why do you have to force yourself pleasing people?

    kumbuka vile vile, yawezekana....;

    [​IMG]

     
  2. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jul 10, 2011
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    Mkuu mbu najiuliza these days kuna
    nini kinaendelea kwenye maisha yako

    uko so philosophical na very deep......

    Hii thread ya tatu naona unaingia too deep........

    Kwa maoni yangu binadamu akiweza kujitambua
    na kujua limitations zake,itakuwa rahisi pia kuwatambua wengine
    na kuwakubali kwa mapungufu yao.......

    Matatizo yetu wengi ni malezi tuliyopitia,vitabu tulivyosoma,walimu rasmi na wasio rasmi
    waliotufundisha mambo mbalimbali.....
    Hapo ndo vurugu inapoanzia....
     
  3. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #3
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    Lol....huwezi jua bana, labda ndio Wosia wangu kwa wana JF...
    Thanks kwa mchango wako bro...


     
  4. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #4
    Jul 10, 2011
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    Kikubwa ambacho naweza sema hapa ni kua in most cases sisi kama wanadamu
    hua tunaji over estimate saana umuhimu wetu kwa watu watuzungukao maofisini,
    mitaani, nyumbani na hata vijiweni.... to the extent inapotokea kua watu wana ku-ignore
    ama kukupuuza ina kuchukua mda mrefu saana wewe kuweza tambua na gundua hilo
    in most cases... for however they treat you is the way they have always treated you
    and you let them with your subconscious mind....

    Ila inapotokea bahati kua ukafunguka akili for what ever reasons (kwa mfano ukipitia
    hii useful post) That is when unaanza ku evaluate the real you and those who sorround
    you kama they are treating you right... na kama ulilvyosema hii hutokea saana kwa
    wale ambao hutumia nguvu nyiiiingi so that they just belong....
     
  5. arabianfalcon

    arabianfalcon JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jul 10, 2011
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    Mbu hiyo imekamilika.
     
  6. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #6
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    Wanasema wewe una thamani gani bila title yako?????

    Mfano kuna watu ukiondoa title wanazoshikilia mfano dokta fulani,
    au professa fulani.....
    Au manager fulani
    au mmiliki wa kitu fulani.......

    Wako sooo empty ,ni kama hawawezi ku exist bila titles hizo......
     
  7. Shantel

    Shantel JF-Expert Member

    #7
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    Mbu, usipojithaminisha mwenyewe ni vigumu mtu mwingine kukuthamini, kujithamini kuanzia ndani ya roho na mwili wako na hadhi yako kama binadamu kamili, hapo hata wengine wanaweza kukuthamini na kukuona wa maana, lakini kama upoupo tu hata hujui thamani yako hakuna atakayeina thamani yako.
    kwa mfano ofisini, ukiingia ofisini the way unavyojichukulia na kujiamini na kujithamini, ndio hata wafanyakazi wenzako watakavyokuthamini, tunaona wafanyakazi wengine wapya wanaingia maofisini na personallity zao wanawakuta nyie mliopo, kwanza mpompo tu, hamjiamini hata kwenda kwa bosi ku present issue fulani ,yeye anakuwa anajiamini na kuweza hata kwenda kwa mabosi, na kama issue yake aliyoitoa huko inakubalika basi hata wale mabosi wataanza kumthamini na kumwona wa maana.Cha muhimu ni wewe mwenyewe kujua thamani yako binafsi mengine yataflow tu
     
  8. Mr Rocky

    Mr Rocky JF-Expert Member

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    Ni wewe mwenyewe kujiamini kujijua thamani yako ukiwa na title au bila title. Jitambue kwanza thamani yako jitambue unaworthy nini kwenye jamii inayokuzunguka kwa marafiki, kwa familia, kazini kwako, msikitini au kanisani, kwa watu wa cadre fulani na wale wasio na cadre yoyote, class fulani au professional fulani ya watu na wale ambao hawana class or professional yoyote. Je ushauri wako au maongezi yako yanathaminiwa na kutiliwa maanani. Je unapewa nafasi ya kutoa mawazo yako na yanathaminiwa vipi.ukishajitambua hapo kweli unaweza kujijua kuwa uko wapi na nini thamani yako. Haijalishi elimu yako wala kiasi cha pesa ulicho nacho wala nafasi yako uliyo nayo kazini au kwenye jamii.
     
  9. Likwanda

    Likwanda JF-Expert Member

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    Hawa watu wanaojiita ma HB huwa wanatabia za kutojiamini sijui kwanini na wanajiona wanastahili kila sifa nzuri. Mkuu asante sana kwa Busara zako, hatupendi kuona unatuacha hapa Jf.
     
  10. Mr Rocky

    Mr Rocky JF-Expert Member

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    Likwanda HB yoyote hajiamini ana wasi wasi na hajiamini kuwa amekamilika. So kila mara ana wasi wasi kuwa kuna tatizo au hana uhakika akitoa ushauri utasikika
     
  11. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    Dah, hapo penye wekundu, mbona sie wengine ni wepesi kung'amua nimechemsha?
    Kumbe kuna wenzangu hutumia muda mrefu kugundua 'wana bore?'....well well well!

    ...kuna wengine wanawatishia wenzao nyau hata hapa JF na u Snr/Premium Member.
    Yale yale, ha ha ha...Nimekusoma kituo kwa kituo.
    Ashadii, asante kwa mchango wako.



    LOL...kaka, sasa hiyo ya kujipa Title ambayo hata kustahiki si ni kujikweza huko, ama ndio?
    Mfano; Utakuta MA (Medical Assistace) anajiita Doctor kwakuwa tu naye anavaa koti refu jeupe,

    Kiukweli, binafsi watu wanaojipa title ili 'wajulikane' miongoni mwa watu huni bore ajabu.
    Majina kama Pedeshee 'fulani', Papaa 'fulani', etc ...au mtu anaanza jitambulisha "mimi ndiye Mr fulani bana!" LOL!
    Nakubaliana nawe watu hawa wana upungufu mkubwa wa kujiamini kwao.
     
  12. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    Shantel umeandika jambo la maana sana. Kujithaminisha mwenyewe ni jambo la busara sana. Bahati mbaya, ni wachache mno wenye uwezo wa kulitambua hilo. Tatizo linaanzia kwenye maamuzi ya mtu na mtu. Ukishajikubalisha Mwanadamu mwingine akuamulie maamuzi yako, naamini taratibu utaanza kupoteza uwezo na thamani ya maamuzi yako. Hilo litapelekea kuanza kupoteza uwezo was kujiamini (Confidence & Self esteem)

    Mfano;
    Ni rahisi sana kwenye mapenzi mtu akakujengea hisia hakuna mwingine kuliko wewe. Hakuna ubaya katika kulitambua hilo, ubaya ni pale nawe utaposhindwa kujithaminisha kiukweli uwe mbora kuliko mwingine.
    Kimtazamo wangu, kila mmoja wetu amejaaliwa mazuri fulani ambayo yanamtofautisha na mwingine. Mtu atapokupendea kwa mazuri yako, wapaswa nawe kuyajenga na yale ulokuwa na upungufu nayo ili uweze kujikamilisha japo kwa asilimia kubwa zaidi.

    Lakini vile vile, ...kuna watu ambao ni mahodari kuwakatisha tamaa wenzao. Watakuja na hadithi za, 'hujapendeza!' 'hujaelimika!' 'huna hoja!' 'hujui hili na lile' nk nk nk.... Ikiwa nawe ni mdhaifu, uka ya accomodate mawazo ya nje yakutawale maamuzi yako, jijue unajichimbia kaburi la kutaka kum- please mtu, ilhali unajipotezea Values zako.

    Negative comments ni Challenges za kukupima uwezo wako, "thamani yako!"



    Spot on ndugu yangu!...kujikweza kunatuharibia sana ndugu yangu. Tatizo la kujikweza hapafu watu wakaja kubaini mapungufu yako, kunawapelekea wengi kupatwa na msongo mkubwa wa mawazo, na hata wengine kujionea bora wakatishe maisha kuliko aibu watayoipata.
     
  13. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...aahhh, ...si kihivyo bana japo sina ahadi na muumba.

    Anyway, kutojiamini kwa mtu kuna kipindi yaweza hata kuwa kichekesho.
    Mtu anakurupuka na shutuma; "WEWE UNANIDHARAU SANA WEWE!" ...khaaa?
     
  14. Meritta

    Meritta JF-Expert Member

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    mh! jaman mpo deep sana mpaka naishiwa maneno
     
  15. Mr Rocky

    Mr Rocky JF-Expert Member

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    Kabisa mkuu. Kujikweza kwa wengi ni issue na unakuta anachojikweza hana uwezo nacho ila ili mradi aonekane na yeye yumo na ana nafasi kumbe hakuna kitu. Jiweke katika mazingira ambayo unafit hupwai wala huonekani unajipandisha bali uko kwenye level ambayo unapaswa kuwa. Kiasi ukiongea unaongea kile ambacho watu wanapenda kusikia kutoka kwako. Yaani wanafurahi wakisikia unaongea na wanakipa sehem yake kile ambacho umeongea. Si ukiongea unakuta watu wanaanza kunong'onezana au kuanza kuchora chora kwenye diary zao kuwa huna kipya.
     
  16. Gagurito

    Gagurito JF-Expert Member

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    Mbu Napenda sana threads zako bt nakiri kua hunichukua muda sana kuzielewa, zinameseji natambua bt puzzles nyingi sana! Uwe unafafanua fanua bro, haswa hizo picha teh!
     
  17. VoiceOfReason

    VoiceOfReason JF-Expert Member

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    Nakubaliana na wewe, muhimu kufanya kile roho inapenda jithamini mwenyewe, thats all that matters

    Point yangu kwenye hii issue "Just be Yourself and the Rest will take Care of Itself"
    Dont Try to be someone else in order to please people cause you will end up pleasing no-one, and more importantly you wont even please yourself

    Kumbuka...... Desperation is like stealing from the mafia, you will end up attracting the wrong attention
     
  18. VoiceOfReason

    VoiceOfReason JF-Expert Member

    #18
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    Mkuu mi ningependa sana kama ingekuwa ni picha tu na maneno machache, as you know a picture is worth a thousand words, yaani mimi nimesoma heading tu na picha, tayari nikaanza kumjimbu, Mkuu Mbu, ongeza mapicha if anything kama ni kupunguza labda maneno...
     
  19. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...LOL,....haya bana. Puzzles ndio kigezo cha uwezo wa uchambuzi, utambuzi na maoni ya wana jamii forums.
    Viwango na Vigezo Vinazingatiwa.

    Anyway, Kuna wengine wanatafisiri picha haraka kuliko maneno, and Vice-Versa. Wengine kwa picha na maneno wanajenga tafsiri inayoeleweka zaidi. Hata nyie wenyewe mshatofautiana hapo, ha ha...

     
  20. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Kujitambua ni step ya kwanza katika kujithamini na kuthaminiwa. Unapojitambua wewe ni nani, wewe ni mtu wa aina gani, strength na weaknesses zako kunakufanya utambue thamani yako kama binadamu. Hata hivyo kwa vile wengi wetu huchelewa sana kujitambua hujikuta tunapakumbana na vigingi kwanza ndo tuanzekujiuliza thamani zetu. Ikumbukwe pia kuwa kujithamini hakuji hivi hivi tu lazima kuwe na vitambulisho kama elimu japo kiasi, utu au ubinadamu, maana sidhan kama mtu mwenye roho mbaya, katili pamoja na kujithamini (kama kupo) atathaminiwa.
     
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