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nimechanganyikiwa ..naombeni ushauri wa ukweli wana JF

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Smile, Jun 8, 2012.

  1. Smile

    Smile JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jun 8, 2012
    Joined: Jul 18, 2011
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    Jamani naombeni kuwaulizeni wanaume hivi huwa mnaoa ili nini?
    Labda -upate mtu wa kusex nae siku yoyote ukitaka?
    -au upate watoto?
    -au kuridhisha tu jamii na wewe ulioa au
    - Ulipata mwanamkeakakulazimisha umuo
    - ama ni nini?
    maana kiukwelipersonaly kila mtu ananipigia kelele niolewe lakini kiukweli sijui maana ya ndoa,wala nikiwauliza watu maana yake hawanipi majibu ya kuniridhisha…hata nikisemanijifunze kwa vitendo kwa kuangalia ndoa zenyewe ndo nabaki hoi kabisa…

    Yes… siwezi kusema maisha yangu yapo full satisfied …naitajihappiness but sijui kama ndoa ndo itakuwa jibu au solution ya kunipa furahamaishani.....
    Ngojeni niwape mifano..but msinielewe vibaya..one daynilikuwa natafuta nyumba ..nikapata nyumba moja huyo kijana alikuwa anatakakuhama ..akanitongoza lakini wiki mbili mbele ndo alikuwa anafunga ndoa ..kwelinilishangaa sana hadi sasa ananitakajust imagine ndoa changaaa eti anadai hakuniona mapema mimi wala sina uzuriwowote basi tu uzinzi wake ..nashindwa kuelewa ningekuwa na roho ya zinaanimkubali hii ndoa ingekuwaje?

    Kuna Yule jirani niliwaambia nae ndoa yake changaa…wanaitana honey honey mwanamke akigeuka tu anakukonyeza nahisi hata anammendeabeki 3 wangu….hadi nahama nyumba mwezi huu maana ni usumbufu mtupu…

    Nikiangalia na mashost zangu wenye ndoa ni vilio vitupu
    Hebu cheki hapa hi isms ni ya shoga yangu kanitumia jmos inimebaini kuwa mume wangu anatembea na msichana wakazi.Nimeligundua hilo kwa kuwa mume wangu hatulii room wakati wa ucku,nimeamuakumbana binti akanieleza ukweli ictoshe kwa sasa mi mjamzito nifanyeje best..kiukwelinilimshauri tu abaki na mumewe na amtimue beki 3 but daaah …ni story ndefu
    Hebu niambieni tu maana ya ndoawapendwa …au ndoa zilikuwa zamani?
    Maana kwa sasa kila mtu anaweza kutoka na yoyote mahali popote navoona…yaanimaisha ni mambo ya kambi popote sijui... naombeni majibu....
     
  2. Smile

    Smile JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jun 8, 2012
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    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  3. LD

    LD JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jun 8, 2012
    Joined: Aug 19, 2010
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    Ni maajabu....ni vituko.....hata sielewi nini mi nimeshajichokea na haya mambo...si wanawake si wanaume Smile hakuna uamininifu....Ni kutimiza desturi na mila tu kwamba nimeolewa/nimeoa.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  4. Smile

    Smile JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jun 8, 2012
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    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  5. Smile

    Smile JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jun 8, 2012
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    au ndoa zipigwe marufuku?
     
  6. LD

    LD JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jun 8, 2012
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    Labda wahalalishe OPEN marriage....
     
  7. MASELE

    MASELE JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jun 8, 2012
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    naoa ili nile kwa mkopo, maana huku nje mizinga imezidi
     
  8. Smile

    Smile JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jun 8, 2012
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    ndo ipi hiyo @LD
     
  9. Blaine

    Blaine JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jun 8, 2012
    Joined: Jan 11, 2012
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    wengi wetu ni kuridhisha jamii. mwanaume akifika 29-31+ bila ndoa, watu wanamsema hovyo, hivyo anaamua kuoa ili kuwatuliza. of course sio wote tuko hivi lakini rafiki zangu kadhaa ambao ni 28+ wanasema wanataka kuoa/watoto kabla muda haujaisha. sisemi kwamba rafiki zangu watasaliti ndoa zao lakini watu wenye attitude ya 'bora ndoa' wanaweza kuanguka kirahisi. wengine wanaoa bado wadogo (23-26) hivyo wanakua hawajipanga kimaisha, na huleta kero kwa wake zao hasa kama mke unategemea mtu aliyetulia.
    those men you mentioned are douches and don't deserve their wives. kumbuka a good man is hard to find.
     
  10. LD

    LD JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jun 8, 2012
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    Haina kingo eti nasikia, yani ni free tu....ukitaka kwenda huku unaenda kule unaenda mradi tu urudi home.
     
  11. mbalu

    mbalu JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jun 8, 2012
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    Ndoa nyingi za sasa ni kama fashion, hakuna maadili, nia thabiti, ni vile wanajua watachangiwa mpaka kulipa mahali ya ndoa hiyo. Heri nibaki gumegume mie.
     
  12. Smile

    Smile JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jun 8, 2012
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    urudi home ipi sasa? si open..you mean kambi popote ama?
     
  13. Smile

    Smile JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Jun 8, 2012
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    kama hakuna good men kwa nini watu wanasisitiza ndoa? hii kitu si ipigwe marufuku?
     
  14. Smile

    Smile JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Jun 8, 2012
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    upuuzi mtupu hizi ndoa
     
  15. T

    Tata JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Jun 8, 2012
    Joined: Dec 3, 2009
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    Hizo zote ulizoorodhesha ni sababu "valid" zinazopelekea wanaume na wanawake kuoana. Ila hiyo orodha yako siyo "exhaustive" kwani kama ambavyo wanaume na wanawake walivyo wengi duniani basi na sababu ziko nyingi tu za kuoa. Na mara nyingi wanaume na hata wanawake husukumwa na "combination" ya sababu zaidi ya moja kuingia kwenye ndoa.

    Ila jambo moja ni hakika. Bila kujali ni sababu ipi inakusukuma kuoa, ukishaoa/olewa tu utagundua kuwa ndoa siyo "event" ila ni "process" na inakuja ikiwa na "package" ya mambo mengine mengi ambayo hayapo kwenye vigezo vya kawaida vinavyowasukuma wanaume na wanawake kuingia kwenye ndoa. Na mara nyingi hapo ndio watu wengine wanaanza kuchanganyikiwa kwani wanasahau kuwa kuoa ni "process" inayoanza mara tu padre, mchungaji, shehe, mserikali au mzee wa kimila anapowatangaza rasmi kuwa nyie sasa ni bwana na bibi. Hapa sizungumzii hizi ndoa zenu za siku hizi za kujaribishana kwanza kabla hamjazirasmisha.

    Nitaongea zaidi kama utahitaji ufafanuzi kwani kuna mambo mazito ambayo itabidi tuulizane umri kwanza kabla sijaendelea.
     
  16. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Jun 8, 2012
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    Ndoa nyingi ni kwa ajili ya kuanzisha familia
    Kupata new purpose in life
    Kupata companion (mwenza, mtunza siri, mtu atakayekuuguza au kukuhudumia wakati una shida)
    Na pia mapenzi. (ingawa hii ndio imechakachuliwa sana)
     
  17. Blaine

    Blaine JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Jun 8, 2012
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    open marriage/relationship means you and your partner set rules allowing either to sleep around with other people. e.g. if I see an attractive woman, I tell my wife and if she says yes I can go to bang her, afterwards I return home to my 'lovely wife' and vice versa.
     
  18. LD

    LD JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Jun 8, 2012
    Joined: Aug 19, 2010
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    Hili somo sielewi vizuri...ila nilisikia unaweza ukawa umeo/umeolewa lakini mnamkubalia kwamba hujafungwa na kingo yoyote...ukijisikia kwenda kwa Smile unaenda, kwa LD unaenda kwa house girl unaenda ili mradi tu usiku uhakikishe umerudi Nyumbani...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  19. mbalu

    mbalu JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Jun 8, 2012
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    umeona eeeeee.......bora ndoa ya saa tano usiku talaka saa kumi na mbili asubuhi.
     
  20. St. Paka Mweusi

    St. Paka Mweusi JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Jun 8, 2012
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    Mdogo wangu naomba usichanganywe na vituko unavyosikia toka kwa watu wengine kwani si kweli kwamba ndoa zote ziko hivyo.Tunashuhudia ndoa nyingi tu zenye mafanikio makubwa kimahusiano(familia) na kiuchumi pia.Kikubwa tu ni kuwa wakati wako wa kufunga ndoa utakapofika basi uwe na uhakika ni kipi unahitaji katika ndoa yako na ukumbuke kuwa ndoa inalelewa jambo ambalo watu wengi wanashindwa kulielewa.Jaribu kumwelewa mwenza wako anahitaji nini nawe kuwa wazi kwake juu ya kile unachohitaji toka kwake.Ukikosea mama utakuwa sawa na mtu aliyejibebesha mzigo wa miiba kisha mzigo huo ukampasukia.Kila la Kheri mama..
     
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