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Niko njia Panda

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Isimilo, Jun 18, 2008.

  1. Isimilo

    Isimilo JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jun 18, 2008
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    nashukuru wana JF kwa ushauri nimeufanyia kazi ume-work
     
  2. Shy

    Shy JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jun 18, 2008
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    ndugu yangu ulikurupuka sana bili kushiriksha ndugu jamaa na marafiki na hicho ni kitu hatari sana na una bahati amewahi kuondoka kwenda huko kazini je usiku huo huo angeenda kukushitaki polisi ingekuwaje ? ungefunguliwa mashitaka ya shambulio na ungefungwa kabisa hawa watu achana nao kabisa .

    cha kufanya wewe ni kuomba mungu kwamba yuko mbali na wewe na ni yeye mwenyewe ameamua kukata mawasiliano yeye anajua ni kwa sababu gani kwahiyo wewe achana nae endelea na maisha yako kama kawaida sahau yote na samehe yote yaliyotendeka fungua maisha yako mapya and go on

    kumbuka yesu alisema YAMEKWISHA
     
  3. hollo

    hollo JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jun 18, 2008
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    Siyo mwisho wa Dunia!Pole sana!MUNGU AKUTIE NGUVU!
     
  4. Ibrah

    Ibrah JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jun 18, 2008
    Joined: Mar 22, 2007
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    Mkuu Isamilo,

    Kwanza nakupa pole sana kwa hayo yaliyokukuta. Pili kwangu nahesabu kuwa Mungu amekupa neema kubwa sana kwa namna ambayo ukichungulia kwa mbali utaiona nayo ni kuwa kwa bahati nzuri hukufunga ndoa ya Kikristo. Naona kuna suluhu katika hilo na ningependa kutumia e-mail private ili kukushauri kipekee.
     
  5. Fidel80

    Fidel80 JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jun 18, 2008
    Joined: May 3, 2008
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    Dah mkuu pole sana....huyu alisha onenekana tapeli toka mwanzo ulitakiwa kummwaga pale pale alipo kudanganya mjamzito.Na wewe sasa mtose tu mbona wanawake wengi mkuu angalia kwao hawakutaki moja kwa moja huna thamani kwao.
    Kama yeye ameminya mawasiliano ni chance kwako kumtafuta mwingine atakaye kupenda kwa dhati mbona wengi sana wengine wamo humu humu tena.
    Cha kufanya sasa mwandikie taraka juu kwa juu kuna watu watakuongoza humu jinsi ya kumwacha kisheria unaweza lakini kidini hiyo ndoa haitambuliki kwani haijafungwa na mchungaji wala padre isikutie shaka mkuu.
    Kwa yote hayo huyo mwanamke hakufai achana nae kabisa alafu msahau kabisa kisha hama unapo ishi sasa hivi.Hamie sehem nyingine mbali kabisa.Ikiwezekana badili hata line.
     
  6. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jun 18, 2008
    Joined: Jan 11, 2007
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    ...isimilo,

    Kiukweli, am deeply touched na yote uliyoyasema, Pole sana!!!

    wakati nikiyaacha ya 'sink', naomba kwa moyo mweupe mwenyezi mungu akuzidishie moyo huo huo wa ujasiri uliokuwa nao, hasa kutokana na malezi mazuri uliyolelewa nayo.

    Trust me, you are not alone, kwa namna moja au nyingine kuna wengi tu yalotukumba wanawake kwa wanaume, yanayofanana kama hayo.

    ...You are not alone bro!

    Mchango wa mawazo utaoupata hapa JF ni juu yako kuupokea au la, ...kuyatafakari, ...kuyachanganua yapi yatakuwa mema kwako, na kuyaacha yale utayoona hasa kutokana na mazingira na wewe ulivyo, hayatakufaa.

    Karibu jamvini!
     
  7. K

    Kipanga JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jun 18, 2008
    Joined: Apr 24, 2008
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    Isimilo,

    ....Achana na kicheche hicho hakuna mke hapo we angalia ustaarabu mwingine, hamjazaa, hamjajenga wala nini huna cha kupoteza.

    Kaza buti songa mbele utapata kifaa kingine na maisha yataendelea kama kawaida.
     
  8. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jun 18, 2008
    Joined: Feb 11, 2007
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    Pole sana ndugu yangu na wala huna haja ya kujiua...ya nini ufanye hivyo? Maisha ni safari ndefu hii sasa hivi angalia taratibu za serikali za kuvunja ndoa hiyo na uendelee na maisha yako. Utapata mwenzio mwingine ambaye atakuwa tofauti na huyo wa kwanza ambaye maisha yenu hayakuwa kama ulivyotegemea. Usiendelee kupoteza muda wako na huyo, priority yako sasa hivi ni kuivunja ndoa yenu na wewe kuendelea na maisha yako.
     
  9. Shishi

    Shishi JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jun 18, 2008
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    Oooooooooooh nimesikitika sana, pole hata siwezi kukupa mawazo yangu sasa hivi, nitarudi, lakini pole zangu zipokee, I feel your pain and anguish. Cha muhimu, u are still alive , shukuru Mungu, it can be worse.
     
  10. M

    Malila JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jun 18, 2008
    Joined: Dec 22, 2007
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    Kwanza mshukuru Mungu hukufanywa zuzu(chuma ulete) yaani bado fahamu zipo.

    Pili, kama unamwamini Mungu wa Isaka,Ibrahimu na Yakobo,ndoa yako kwa Mungu haipo,yaani hukufunga ndoa(ya Mungu mpe Mungu na ya Kaisari mpe kaisari),hivyo waombe watalaamu wa sheria wakusaidie kutoa talaka fasta.

    Usioe kabla ya kutoa talaka hiyo ni muhimu kwa usalama wa ndoa mpya.

    Kwa ufupi Mungu anakupenda sana dogo ungekoma.
     
  11. Kana-Ka-Nsungu

    Kana-Ka-Nsungu JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jun 18, 2008
    Joined: Oct 4, 2007
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    Ama kweli- ndoa ndoana! Pole sana kaka, kama u mtu wa dini kama unavyodai, hii ndoa ya kisirikali unaweza kuitengua tu bila 'kumkasirisha' Mungu. Inaonekana umenunua mbuzi kwenye kiroba. Nakushauri wewe na wanaume wengine wote kutumia style niliyotumia mimi kabla ya kuoa- andaa short list yako, chukua aliye top of the list ishi naye at least miezi sita kama probation period, kama unapenda package yake nzima- tangaza ndoa, kama analeta za kuleta, go back to your short list- NEEEEEEEEEXT!!
     
  12. Masanja

    Masanja JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jun 18, 2008
    Joined: Aug 1, 2007
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    Isimilo, just like others, Iam deeply touched by your story. Mkuu pole sana.

    Kwa kweli from my understanding hapo bwana huna ndoa, sana sana, mwanamke anaweza kuamua kuwa opportunist, akaenda huko mtaani kuhangaika na mambo yake na ya kimshinda akaamua kurudi kwako kwa sababu anajua ana ndoa inayompa huo mwanya. Kisheria hii ndoa inavunjika kwa sababu mmeshakaa mda mrefu bila kuonana. Na si hilo tuu lakini inaonekana hata ndoa yenyewe ilijawa na ghiriba-alikuhadaa, alikuwa hana nia dhahiri ya kuolewa.

    Ushauri wangu, kama uko Dar na una uwezo, neda tafuta mwanasheria mpe hii issue na umwambie akusaidia ku-nulify hii ndoa. Yeye atajua namna ya kuliapproach hili swala mahakamani. Siyo kitu kigumu, kwa yote uliyoyaeleza ni dhahiri kwamba hii ndoa mahakama itaivunja.

    Kama huna uwezo kifedha, wewe nenda kwa vyama vinavyotoa msaada wa kisheria kama Legal and Human Rights Centre pale sayansi Kijito nyama au Chuo Kikuu kitivo cha sheria wana kitengo cha msaada wa kisheria kila ijumaa. Ofisi zao zipo ghorofa ya pili jengo la sheria mlimani kila ijumaa kuanzia saa nane. Wanaweza kukushauri nini cha kufanya.

    Usijaribu kuoa bila kuivunja hii ndoa kisheria na kama nilivyoeleza huyu mama anaweza kuamua kufanya maovu yake akijua ana (fall back!) kwamba mambo yakimchachia ana seheme ya kurudi.

    Kuhusu maadili, well, mimi sina uelewa wa dini sana. Lakini naamini yote uliyafanya kwa nia njema na MUNGU aliona kwa hiyo kama mwenzako alishindwa kulipa fadhila kwa kukuonyesha ushirikiano katika ndoa, sidhani kama ni kosa lako. Ndoa ni ya wawili, kama mmoja wenu hataki kutoa ushirikiano si rahisi kufanikiwa.

    Narudia tena kukupa pole kwa huu mkasa. Iam really touched. Kama utahitaji ushauri mwingine wa kisheria please, just NI-PM..I will do what I can to advse you.


    NOTE: Huu ushauri wangu unatokana na hiyo story uliyoitoa hapo juu.

    Kila lakheri, but just know, as others have said, maisha ni safari na shukuru Mungu yote yamekutokea. Sio wanawake wote ni majangili na wala sio wanaume wote ni mabaradhuli.


    Masanja,
     
  13. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Jun 18, 2008
    Joined: Jan 11, 2007
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    isimilo,

    kwanza; suala la kujidhuru hilo liweke mbali kabisa na mawazo yako. Ujidhuru kwa faida ya nani? ukijidhuru hakuna faida kwa yeyote, hata wewe usidhani kwamba hiyo ni short-cut ya kutatua matatizo yako!

    Pili; Umejielezea vizuri na kwa uwazi sana, hapana shaka yote uliyoyasema ni ukweli mtupu. Bahati mbaya, sitoweza kupata 'ukweli' kutoka upande wa pili wa shilingi, kwani katika masuala haya ya mapenzi kuna Your story, Her story, and the truth!

    ...ningekushauri kwa wakati huu pia upitie post nyingine mbali mbali kwenye thread hii ya mahusiano mapenzi na urafiki, naamini utafaidika sana, haswa posts hizi;

    'eti hii ni kwanini?'

    'nimekubali ndoa ni ngumu kwa wote, japo ni raha pia'

    'Ex-Parner; should you maintain contact with ex?'


    nk,..nk... nk...

    Vile vile, nawe endelea kujiuliza suluhisho gani liwe la kudumu kwa maisha yako, hasa afya ya kiakili, upendo, uaminifu na heshima katika jamii inayokuzunguka.

    *ukiendelea na huyo mkeo utapata hasara/faida gani?

    *ukiachana na huyo mkeo utapata hasara/faida gani?

    *nini muhimu katika maisha yako, huyo mke bila furaha, au furaha bila huyo mke?

    ni wewe na maamuzi yako baada ya kujiuliza na kutafakari kwa kina. Mara nyingine lisilobudi hutendwa, katika masuala ya unyumba sipendelei sana kutoa ushauri watu waachane, mara nyingi wakipatana inakuja kuwa ni aibu! Mambo ya siri ya mtungi!

    Isimilo,

    Hakuna jaribu lisilo na mlango wa kutokea!
     
  14. Shishi

    Shishi JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Jun 18, 2008
    Joined: Feb 11, 2008
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    hebu nitumie copy ya hiyo short list, nitaitumia kama template LOL
     
  15. Mtaalam

    Mtaalam JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Jun 18, 2008
    Joined: Oct 1, 2007
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    duh ndugu yangu umenigusa na story yako ila tu nachoweza kukwambia ni pole sana ndugu yangu......sina uzoefu mkuuubwa saana wa kuweza kukushauri maana wakati mwingine kumshauri mtu ku do something alafu kikawa wrong ni vibaya!!

    may b wat i can tel u is mshirikishe Mungu saana akujaze neema na akutie nguvu ufanye uamuzi wa busara...
    na pia jaribu kuwa karibu na wakubwa wakushauri vyema ili usije fanya mambo mabaya au kufuata ushauri wa kina sie watu wa zama za dot com

    ila ol in ol pole sana na hongera kwa kuwa na busara za kutofikia fanya maamuzi ya kijinga bila kuuliza for ushauri huo ni uungwana
     
  16. Kana-Ka-Nsungu

    Kana-Ka-Nsungu JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Jun 18, 2008
    Joined: Oct 4, 2007
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    Usije ukazimia bure!
     
  17. Isimilo

    Isimilo JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Jun 19, 2008
    Joined: Aug 16, 2007
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    kwa kweli nashukuru sana kwa ushauri mbalimbali uliotolewa hapa kwani najihisi kuwa huru kwa kiasi kikubwa na naona faraja kubwa kwa jinsi mlivyo kuwa sehemu ya tatizo hili. kwani nilijitahidi sana kufanya siri lakini siku kwa siku ndo nikawa nazidi kuumia moyoni hasa nikikumbuka investment zangu nilizofanya kwake. ila kwa kuona sina ujanja nikaona kwa ni ni nisitafute msaada JF kwani wengi walishakuja na issue zao hapa wakasaidiwa na zaidi nataka hii ingie kwenye mind ya kila member asije akanaswa kama mimi na nina shukuru wengi wamesema bora ameibuka mapema kabla ya ndoa kamili. na hakuna haja ya aibu hapa tena.
     
  18. NaimaOmari

    NaimaOmari JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Jun 19, 2008
    Joined: Sep 25, 2007
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    Isimilo , you know you are a good man ... believe me she will never find someone like you in her entire life again .. . seems she's got a big group of supporters and even a lover to sum it up ... meanwhile i think the best thing you should do is to sit down and talk to her about that ndoa mmlio funga ... uone atakuambia nini mwambie unaniya ya kuivunja kama atakuwa bado kwake ni muhimu au anaitabua ... sijui kama kuna vikwazo hapa (yani kuvunja ndoa kama hii) ... kidini .. kama mm muislam hii ndoa haipo kabisaaaaa ... hatuitambui ...

    Mungu siku zote anataka tuwe wenye furaha sasa kama mtu anafikia kukuwahisha kuzimu kwanini umganganie .. achana nae ... sali ... funga .. ujuwe ulifanya makosa kama makosa mengine kama binaadamu ... jifunze kujipenda wewe kwanza maana ukiendekeza hali kama hii unamkufuru Mungu (kwakutaka kujiua), utapata maradhi .. kama ulcers and ugonjwa wa moyo ... ujuwe kitu kimoja ... huwezi kupata moyo mwengine wakununua na kubadilisha na huu utakaekuwa mbovu kisa.. nini ... mwanamke??? hapana

    Mbona wapo ... Mungu atakupa mwengine zaidi yake ... Jipende tu and be your best companion and defender isikubali mtu akamuumiza Isimilo.. mtetee kwa hali na mali ...
     
  19. J

    Jobo JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Jun 19, 2008
    Joined: May 15, 2008
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    Sijui wewe ni Mkristo wa dhehebu gani! I can only speak about catholics. Kuligana na imani ya kikatoliki, wewe huna ndoa unaendelea kuishi kizinifu na huyo mwanamke. Tumia sheria kuvunja hiyo "ndoa" yako ya kipagani halafu mwombe Mungu akuonyeshe mke wa kuoa.
     
  20. N

    NakuliliaTanzania JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Jun 19, 2008
    Joined: Sep 24, 2007
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    Mkuu Isamilo,

    Pia naungana na wengine kukupa pole

    kwa maoni yangu, huyo 'mke' wako hana mapenzi na wewe..japo angekusikiliza basi unachomwambia. Kwangu mimi kama mwanamke si msikivu ni dalili ya wazi kuwa hanipendi!

    kwa hiyo, kama walivoshauri wengine, angalia utaratibu wa kuvunja'ndoa' hiyo na utafute mwingine akupendae kwa dhati. Una bahati haikuwa ya kanisani kwani ingekuwa ngumu zaidi..ial kwa hili naona bado unaweza kutoka salama salimini!

    Kila la heri
     
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