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Marriage That Never Was

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Wambandwa, Aug 5, 2008.

  1. Wambandwa

    Wambandwa JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Aug 5, 2008
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    Imagine you are preparing to get married the next day and suddenly your wife to be text you a msg that she is not interested to tie knots with you any more. She advices you to forget her altogether.

    Your parents from upcountry are crowded at your place waiting for the great day, the reception hall, MC, camera man, transportation arrangement has alread been fully paid for....

    The above does not include the engagement party together with the engagement ring (which I came to learn later that she sold it the next week), she even was sent off.

    Let alone the dowry I paid in accordance with african tradition.

    Hayo ndo yalonikuta, kutapeliwa na hao wakwe na mtoto wao. Nifanye nini jamani kwani nimekwazwa.
     
  2. NaimaOmari

    NaimaOmari JF-Expert Member

    #2
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    kubaliana na hali kwamba it wasnt meant to be in the first place ... kwanza hiyo familia ingekusumbua mbele ya safari

    If you can recover all the expenses from them ... thru sheria then go ahead but if its not possible .. just let go and start all over

    Learn to love yourself .. ili usiumie kwani hamna spare ya roho ukipata ugonjwa wa moyo ama hata pressure ili ubadilishe mwili

    Avoid being alone and dont resort to liquor

    Move on ... Mungu yuko nawe ushukuru na usali atakupa mwengine mwenye kheri nawe
     
  3. Faith

    Faith Member

    #3
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    shukuru mungu, amejiondoa mapeema!, may be mngeishi ingekua ni kasheshe tu, zidi kumwomba Mungu akusaidie to overcome the situation
    kumbuka
    likuepukalo lina heri nawe
     
  4. H

    Haika JF-Expert Member

    #4
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    likuepukalo lina heri nawe KWELI KABISA. MSHUKURU MUNGU.
    SALA ZAKO AU ZA NGU ZAKO WAKUPENDAO ZIMESHINDA.
    HIYO NDOA ISINGEKUWA NDOA YA MAANA.
    SHUKURU SANA MUNGU WAKO.

    kwa sasa vuta pumzi kabla ya kutafuta liwazo, usikimbilie kwa kina dada kukuliwaza, utaishia kwa dada kama huyo huyo.
    next time tafuta ambaye anatamani kuwa nawe pia siyo wewe tu utamani kuwa naye.
     
  5. K

    Kandambili Member

    #5
    Aug 5, 2008
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    Mimi bwana nakushauri kabla hujasema umetapeliwa na wakwe pamoja na aliyekuwa mchumba wako jaribu kudadisi uje sababu hasa nini? hiyo itakusaidia sana, inawezekana aliyekutapeli au kukusaliti yupo hapo jirani kwako.
    NI HAYO TUI
    .
     
  6. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #6
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    ...kwanza, nisingeamini hiyo 'cowardice act' ya kuvunja harusi kwa sms, anybody anaweza kuchukua simu ya huyo wife-to-be akatuma sms.

    ...Pili, Iwapo ulituma washenga kwenda kuchumbia, kupeleka mahari (kama yalikuwapo), ndio hivyo hivyo ungestahiki HESHIMA ya kujibiwa ndoa/harusi imevunjika. Ukiona hivyo huo ukoo ni (ashakum si matusi) 'wash****'.

    ...tatu, usingevunja shughuli, madhali all expenses where paid, na last minute cancelletion na refunds was almost impossible, then ungeendelea na ndugu zako kukutanika na kupeana ushauri yaliyojiri, baada ya hapo ni kutandua majamvi na kutanga yajayo!

    Likuepukalo lina heri na wewe Bro.
     
  7. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #7
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    Brother..count your blessings!
    It may be painful,but time is the healer of everything.Move on.
     
  8. Wambandwa

    Wambandwa JF-Expert Member

    #8
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    Kanadambili,

    Thanks for your comforting words, ila hapa tatizo niliambiwa kwamba unapotezewa muda wako ila sikuamini. Nilitoa pesa kununua gauni la engagement party lakini kumbe wakakodi, pete nishaeleza hapo juu. Kifupi ni maumivu ya kupotezewa muda na kuingia gharama nyingi zisizokuwa mfano.


    Nilisindikizwa kupima ngoma na baba mkwe mdogo, bibi, na mama mkwe na shoga wa huyo aliyekuwa mchumba wangu. Ni kudhalilishana.

    There was no cooperation at all nilipomwambia mchumba aende kupima kwa madai atakwenda kwa wakati wake.

    Kibaya zaidi walishaanza kunisingizia kwamba nakwepa kwenda kupima. Mama mkwe alimwambia mshenga na mshenga ndo akanijia juu kwa nini sitaki, so the next day very early in the morning nilikuwa ukweni kwenda kupima nao.

    Pesa nyingi sana nimetumia kwao (ningekuwa nn'gombe 20 wa maziwa kama ningeamua ku invest kwenye hilo.

    Kama nafungua kesi, inakuwa ya madai au jinai? Nipeni ushauri jamani.
     
  9. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Aug 5, 2008
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    Pole tena kwa mara nyingine...
    Naomba uwe mkweli/muwazi zaidi maana kabla y akupewa ushauri mzuri..inabidi uweke mambo yote hadharani... ukificha ugonjwa unaweza kupata madhara zaidi kutokana na kupewa a wrong prescription.
    From this post niliyo quote kuna vitu vinajitikeza which calls for additional questions:
    Je? huyo mtarajiwa ulishakuwa nae na mahusiano ya kimwili kabla? kama ndiyo mlikuwa mnachukua tahadhari?
    je? suala la kupima lilianza kuletwa na yeye au hao ndugu? kama ni ndugu, je nyie wawili mliotarajia kufunga ndoa mlikuwa na msimamo gani kuhusu hali ya afya zenu kabla ya kufunga ndoa?
    je? Mlikaa uchumba muda gani kabla familia hazijashirikishwa kuandaa harusi?
    Je uchumba huo ( engagement) ilihusisha watu wengine au nyie wawili tu?
    Katika kushirikisha familia je kuna mahari/mabadilishano ya vitu ku signify kufunga uchumba?
    je? mlitangaza ndoa kunakohusika ( marraige bahns)kufuatana na matakwa ya sheria?
    Je? kuna kitu chochote ulifanya baada ya kufunga uchumba na kupanga tarehe ya harusi kilichopelekea kuleta mtafaruku na kuvunja ahadi ya kuoana? Hii ni muhimu sana kuweka wazi!
    Ukijibu yote hayo unaweza kupewa ushauri utakaofaa.Samahani endapo hayo maswali yatakukera.. unaweza kuni PM kama hutaki kuweka mambo hadharani.
     
  10. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...kumbe 'alama za nyakati' zilianza kipindi kidogo, bro, inaonekana kwamba hiyo ndoa labda wewe pekee ndio ulokuwa unailazimisha, mwenzio tayari alishakuwa na uamuzi mwingine tangia hapo mwanzo, hiyo sms ilikuwa hitimisho tu, baada ya 'kukuchuna'.

    Inasikitisha sana.

    Jaribu kutafuta wakili mzuri, ufungue kesi ya madai, kwani hao wakwe wamejipatia pesa kwa njia za udanganyifu.

    Muhimu usinung'unike sana kiasi ukaacha kuuona ukweli kwamba Mwenyezi Mungu amekuepushia balaa kubwa sana lilokuwa ukumbane nalo 'uso kwa uso' maishani mwako, shukuru Mungu sana kwa hilo, Umejaaliwa na ubarikiwe!
     
  11. mambo

    mambo JF-Expert Member

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    Dunia ina mambo.........thanks to almighty god kuwa uko salama na maisha yanaendelea........
     
  12. M

    Mama Lao JF-Expert Member

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    Pole...ila wanasema mara nyingi sign zote zinakuwa on the wall ila hatutaki kuziona . Kila jambo lina upande mzuri! Mshukuru Mungu...maanake kama wote ni ma tp..wangekuwa mzigo. Tulia. Tafuta mwingine taratibu. Kapime!
     
  13. Wambandwa

    Wambandwa JF-Expert Member

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    Nimejitahidi kujibu in between the lines, na toka siku kupita sijatafutwa (wala mshenga) na mtu yeyote kutoka ukweni.
     
  14. Jeni

    Jeni Senior Member

    #14
    Aug 5, 2008
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    Pole sana Wambandwa, kama walivyosema waliopita kila uepukalo lina kheri. Mshukuru Mungu upo salama
     
  15. K

    Kandambili Member

    #15
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    mimi ndio maana nikataka kujua zaidi pia, wakati mwingine tunatakiwa kusoma alama. kwanini wewe tu ndio upime ngoma? kwanini usindikizwe na wakwe? Sipati picha hapa. je hakuna uwezekano kuwa huyo aliyekuwa mchumba wako ana ngoma?
    kwa vyovyote vile mshukuru Mungu na sahau hizo hasara za pesa za kupita, kila jambo litokealo lina sababu zake, pengine yangekutokea ambayo thamani au hasara yake huwezi kuifikiria kuilinganisha na hizo pesa ulizopoteza.
    NI HAYO TU.
     
  16. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #16
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    Kwakweli kutokana na malezo yako.. hao watu ni matapeli/wahalifu na wanastahili kuchukuliwa hatua za kisheria - both criminal and civil. Ushauri:
    1.Tafuta mwanasheria aanze civil proceedings kudai fidia na damages, au kama unajiamini simama mwenye ila utahitaji msaada wa kisheria ku draft legal documents .

    2.Aidha anza kuelekea kituo cha polisi kushtaki ili jamhuri ibebe kesi ya jinai kuwashughulikie wabaya wako.Ila kaka chunga usiwe umejitumbukiza kwenye balaa lingine la kupoteza pesa na wakati kwa sababu ya rushwa!

    3.Alternatively husisha wazee ili mtafute suluhu nje ya mahakama- it may be faster and cheaper.

    You might wish to consult Tanganyika Law Society or Legal and Human Rights Centre ili upate some additional advise on the way forward.
     
  17. Wambandwa

    Wambandwa JF-Expert Member

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    Kandambili,

    Nashukuru saana kwa hayo yote ulonipoza nayo. LAKINI IWE ISIWE, I SWEAR TO RECOVER EVERY CENT I SPENT TO THAT GHOST MCHUMBA, NO MATTER HOW LONG IT'LL TAKE
     
  18. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #18
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    GO FOR IT WAMBANDWA!
    It should serve as a lesson to other would be matapeliz!
     
  19. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #19
    Aug 6, 2008
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    Pole kaka yangu ila mshukuru MUNGU wako kwa kukuepushia mapema .
     
  20. zombi

    zombi Member

    #20
    Aug 6, 2008
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    ukimegewa wako,nawe tafuta mnyonge ummegee,ila hii haiondoi machungu inaleta faraja. sio mimi huyu nimequote somewhere.
     
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