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Maamuzi magumu...!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mbu, Oct 29, 2011.

  1. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Oct 29, 2011
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    [​IMG]...nimeulizwa swali ambalo natarajiwa nitoe ushauri ambao utamjengea "huyu" dada maisha yake au utambomolea kabisa matumaini kidogo aliyokuwa nayo!
    ni hivi....;

    maishani mwake amewashi kuwa kwenye mapenzi serious (namaanisha long term, sio chini ya miaka mitatu) na wanaume wawili, ila;

    - alisitisha mahusiano na mwanaume wake wa kwanza sababu ya "abuses," physical na psychological...
    - alisitisha mahusiano na mwanaume wake wa pili sababu ya "abuses," physical na psychological
    - hivi sasa, yupo kwenye mahusiano yasiyozidi mwaka mmoja na partner mpya.. ambaye yupo ok,...sio angel wala devil...

    tatizo alilonalo...wale spouses wa mwanzo kila mmoja kwa nafasi yake, wanafanya jitihada usiku na mchana kumshawishi huyu mdada awafikirie upya, kwani pamoja na kwamba hawaku move on kuoa wanawake wengine...pia waliamini time is a healer...ipo siku mwanadada atajichungua upya na kugundua naye alichangia kutokezea breakups hizo...

    kwa ushauri wenu, mdada huyu anapaswa kui handle vipi situation hii?...
    natamani kumwambia ajaribu wa tatu, lakini mapenzi ni sumu, hayaonjwi!
    kwani namuogopea asijejipa matumaini sana kwa huyu watatu
    halafu matokeo yake huko mbele ya safari abakie akiilaani bahati yake...

    mind you, tafsiri ya abuses huenda inatofautiana baina ya mtu na mtu, au jamii na jamii....
    mwenyewe ananisisitiza -" better the devil you know,...!"-

    ...halahala jamani, mbu mie nasubiriwa na jibu langu jumatatu asubuhi...khaaa!?
     
  2. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Oct 29, 2011
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    is she jf member???????
     
  3. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Oct 29, 2011
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    Heri kufanya uamuzi wa kuendelea mbele kuliko kurudiana na moja x wake,kurudiana na x ni kosa la jinai kwenye mapenzi.
     
  4. jockey emmanuel

    jockey emmanuel JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Oct 29, 2011
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    i dnt advyz ha ku-go back 2 any of da x....lyf goz on...
     
  5. Vin Diesel

    Vin Diesel JF Gold Member

    #5
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    Mkuu...kumshauri kuhusiana na hili ni pata potea kwani huwezi jua yatakayotokea kesho na keshokutwa.
    Ushauri wako unaweza mletea shida mbeleni na akakulaumu wewe kwa yatakayompata.
    Nadhani itakuwa vyema kama utamweleza pros n cons za lolote atakaloamua then yeye ndio achague pa kuenda.
    Kumbuka....mshauri mbaya ni adui.
     
  6. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Oct 29, 2011
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    ...hapana, ni mwenzangu kazini...
    angekuwa jf member ningemuachia aucheze mwenyewe mpira na maelezo mengi.
     
  7. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Oct 29, 2011
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    ...what if?....maana kwa maelezo yake nilivyomuelewa, namuona kana kwamba kuna udhaifu wake anaoujutia
    ambao (japo hakutaka kunifafanulia) anaamini angeujua na kuusahihisha hapo awali, labda wasingefikia huko...
    mind you,...anawafahamu vizuri sana hao walitangulia kuliko aliyenaye sasa...

    mapenzi ambayo sio serious kivile kama hao waliotangulia.
     
  8. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Oct 29, 2011
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    Sasa Mbu ushauri gani tena anataka wakati hapo kwenye RED ni kama ameshaamua kwamba anaowajua na matatizo yao ni chaguo bora zaidi. Kwahiyo hapo ni kiasi tu cha yeye kuchagua kati ya A na B.

    Kama angekua hajaamua kwamba ''Zimwi alijualo halitamla likammaliza'' ushauri wangu ungekua kutokuangalia nyuma unless ANA UHAKIKA kwamba huyo anaetaka kumrudia amebadilika kitu ambacho hakiwezekani!!! Binafsi naona kwamba ni rahisi zaidi kuwa na matumaini na huyoo mpya kwasababu hajaonyesha matatizo so far....kwahiyo kuna uwezekano mkubwa akawa one of the good guys.Tofauti na hao ambao tayari anajua ni wanyanyasaji na hana uhakika kama wameacha/badilika.

    Either way yeyote atakaemchagua kuna uwezekano wa kuja kujuta hapo baadae...sasa aamue kama majuto yapi yatakayomla zaidi....Kurudi alipojua kabisa uwezekano wa kuumizwa ni mkubwa au kujaribu bahati sehemu iliyokua na matumaini.
     
  9. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Oct 29, 2011
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    ....swadakta bro,

    hebu nibainishie basi hizo pros & cons kwenye sakata kama hili nami nijifunze kidogo.
    kumbuka, maelezo yangu hapo juu ndio kikomo cha uelewa wangu
    juu ya sakata hili pia...
     
  10. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #10
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    dah hapo pagumu mana kuna watu ambao kwenye mapenzi wanaudhaifu wao binafsi,anaweza akaachwa au kuachana na mtu but baadaye yupo radhi kurudiana,cha msingi we mwambie tu aungalie moyo wake upo upande ganu na wewe usitie neno asije akakulaumu baadaye.
     
  11. Asprin

    Asprin JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Oct 29, 2011
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    Hili sredi nashindwa kulichangia kwakuwa Mbu kafanya makusudi akalitoa Jumamosi wakati anajua ntakuwa nimeshautwika mtungi.

    I'll be back........On Monday!!
     
  12. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Oct 29, 2011
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    ...umeichambua vizuri Lizzy,....

    unajua, hata kwangu mimi huo msemo wa "better the devil you know, ...." wakati anasisitiza abuses kwenye past relationship, ndio zilizonifelisha mtihani huu mbu mie...

    kwa mtazamo wangu, kuna weakness yake/zake ambazo anajikubalisha kwa "zimwi limjualo..." ambaye angalau wanaweza kukaa chini na kuya address matatizo yao, kuliko hizo "excess baggages" kuhama nazo kwa huyu ambaye bado hajaji commit naye 100%...au?
     
  13. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ....umeona ee? wewe umenifahamu vizuri...
    amenitega, nimetegeka kujidai ati jumatatu nitampelekea jibu la maisha yake, khaaa!



    ...hehehe!....aisee una ahadi na muumba jumatatu utakuwa hapa?
    kaji "detoxify" kidogo uje uweke thumni yako hapa,....jumatatu natakiwa nikakabidhi homework yangu bana!
    ...mwenyewe hajui kujitia kwangu ushauri mwingi, kumbe nachukua maushauri yenu wana jamiiforum!
     
  14. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #14
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    teh teh teh heri unyamaze tu wajukuu wasije wakasema babu leo hana busara.
     
  15. Vin Diesel

    Vin Diesel JF Gold Member

    #15
    Oct 29, 2011
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    Ipo hivi mkuu...watakiwa kumuelezea kuwa yanaweza tokea haya.

    Kwa haraka haraka...

    kwanini arudiane na mmoja wao.

    1.anawajua vyema so atakuwa amepata namna ya kudeal now.
    2.watakuwa wamejifunza mapungufu yao hivyo kwasasa watakuwa wamebadilika.
    3.wamekutana na wanawake wengi baada yake lakini wamegundua yeye ndio anafaa kuwa mama watoto.
    4.Watakuwa wamepevuka zaidi hivyo kujua majukumu yao kwenye mahusiano hivyo ajiandae kula bata.
    5.Jamaa alienae sasa hivi haeleweki expire date yake ni lini....
    6.Zimwi likujualo halikuli likakwisha....
    7.



    Kwanini asirudiane nao.
    1.wanamtesa kihisia na kimwili...tabia hii si njema na bado hata kwenye ndoa hawajaingia.
    Twagemea makucha halisi ya mtu huwa yanaonekana akiingia ndoani...wameanza toa kichapo mapema hii...akiolewa je.
    2.wameachika kwa wanawake wengine kwa tabia hii...so wanarudi kwake kwani hakuna mwanamke awezae vumilia kuumizwa.
    3.Wanadai wamebadilika na si rahisi kutambua kama kweli kwani twajua jasiri haachi asili.
    4.Tayari ana mahusiano na mtu mwingine...ajali hisia zake.
    5....
    6...

    Huu sio ushauri ila ni mwongozo wa nini chaweza kutokea akichagua kwenda njia yoyote....atapoenda popote...matokeo yake anayajua na itakuwa ni uamuzi wake na sio wako.
    Ngoja niwahi mpirani...
     
  16. Gaijin

    Gaijin JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Oct 29, 2011
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    Mbu

    Kuna kitu kimoja ambacho nataka kukigusia ambacho sijui yeye kinamhusu au la. Lakini wanawake wengi waliokuwa kwenye abusive relationship huwaelezi kitu kwa wanaume hao. Yaani wanakuwa kama wameshikiwa akili. Na huo mvuto wanaouhisi kwa hao wanaume walio wa abuse hawawezi hata kuu control, ni kama vile wanataka ku prove kitu kwao.
     
  17. Sizinga

    Sizinga JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Oct 29, 2011
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    Kwenye mapenzi kukumbushana mabaya ya nyuma ni kosa kubwa sana wapenzi wanalifanya. Wakirudiana there is big chance wakalifanya hili kosa. Isitoshe risk nyingine ya kurudiana ni magonjwa(naomba mnielewe hapa).

    But kikubwa zaid ini yeye mwenyewe yupi anadhani anamfeel zaidi na anaweza kufanya maamuzi.
     
  18. Asprin

    Asprin JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Oct 29, 2011
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    Kabla sijalewa zaidi....
    Mheshimiwa Moskwito labda uniweke sawa kidogo.

    Ni yupi kati ya hao wawili ambaye anatamani kurudiana naye? Kwa sababu kama ni wote, namshauri abaki na huyu wa sasa!!

    Naomba unambie kabla sijalewa zaidi nikaharibu mazima.
     
  19. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Oct 29, 2011
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    ...hehehe!....

    aise umeiweka vyema sana...nitai print kisha nitatafuta mkalimani aniwekee kwa 'kidhungu,' maana mdada mwenyewe "...know what i mean" nyiiiingi!
     
  20. klorokwini

    klorokwini JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Oct 29, 2011
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    Nawahi stamford bridge , nitarejea
     
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