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Kwa hili dada zetu mnatudanganya.. au mmetuzidi maujanja!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mzee Mwanakijiji, May 1, 2012.

  1. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #1
    May 1, 2012
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    [​IMG]

    Tulikuwa kwenye kikao kidogo cha wazee kijijini na tukawa tunazungumza mambo mengi. Kama kawaida mambo ya watu kucheat yakajitokeza mara moja kwanza ilikuwa hoja ya "kina nani wanacheat zaidi kati ya wanaume na wanawake". Jibu la kwanza ambalo lilionekana kwa urahisi - bila watu kufikiria sana na lilitoka kwa wanaume tena kwa fahari - ni kuwa wanaume ndio wanacheat sana. Hasa ni kwa sababu kubwa mbili mara nyingi (kama siyo zote) wanaume ndio hutongoza zaidi na pili wanaume wanaonekana wanakodolea macho ""kila chenye sketi kipitacho kikitingishikika". Wakati wanaume wanaendelea kujisifu kauli zetu zilijikuta zinakatishwa na moto wetu kupoozwa kama chuma cha moto kinapotumbukizwa kwenye maji!

    "Mnajidanganya tu" alisema dada mmoja kwa sauti ya utulivu huku akiendelea kula kuku wake wa kuchoma. Macho yetu yalimgeukia kwa ghafla na mara moja tukapoteza kujiamini; wanawake wenzie pale kikaoni walimuangalia kwa macho yaliyojaa kila alama ya umbea (mshangao, dukuduku, shuku, kebehi... n.k).

    "Tunajidanganya?" mmoja wa wazee pale kikaoni (I swear it wasn't MOI)

    Well, dada yule alianza kutuelezea kwa sauti iliyochagua neno moja moja utadhani mashine ya kupigia chapa. Lakini kimsingi alisema mambo yafuatayo ambapo alipomaliza na kurudia kisusunilo kilichobakia mezani baadhi yetu tulitafuta gia za kutokea kikaoni! Alisema kwamba:

    a. Wanaume wanadanganywa kirahisi kitandani! - mwanamke anaweza kupiga kelele na kusema maneno yote matamu kiasi cha kumfanya mwanamme afikiri kuwa ndiye aliyebuni na kukiunda kitendo hicho. Mwanamme anavyoitikiwa wakati wa shughuli inamjenga mno "confidence" yake kiasi kwamba hawezi kuamini kabis akuwa mwanamke wake anaweza hata kutoka nje - ambako nako anaweka mbwembwe zilizojaa iliki, mdalasini, limau, pilipili mbuzi, pilipili hoho, karafuu na thyme! Kelele za kitandani zinawapumbaza wanaume na mwanamke mjanda hujua kelele zipi za kuziingiza siku ya kwenda kucheat!

    b. Wanaume wanafikiria wanawake wote wanahitaji hisia kufanya tendo: Kuna imani kuwa mwanamke hawezi kwenda na kufanya tendo hilo na mtu yeyote bila kuingiza hisia ndani yake. Yaani, wanaume wanafikiria (tunafikiria) kuwa ni sisi tu tunaoweza kwenda kulala na mwanamke na kesho yake kumfikiria mwingine. Matokeo yake wazo la kwamba mwanamke kwa vile anaonesha anakupenda sana na anakufanyia mambo mengi anapata pia pembeni na labda zaidi ya mtu mmoja haiingii akilini. Tunaamini kuwa mwanamke anahitaji kuwa na 'hisia' na mtu kumbe wapo wanawake ambao nao tendo hilo ni kama mazoezi ya viungo tu au kama kashata! wanakula wakiwa na hamu na wakimaliza hata hawakumbuki!

    Yule dada alisema kitu cha kushangaza kuwa wapo wanawake hata hawakumbuki kabisa wanaume waliolala nao; na wengine ndio wale wanaoweza kwenda mahali - hasa kwenye visafari vya kikazi - akajipatia mwanamme wa usiku mmoja (one night stand) na wala asihangaike naye tena wala kutaka kujua alimradi alitumia kinga!

    Baada ya kujaribu kubadilisha mazungumzo wazee wazima tuliondoka tukiwa na mawazo sana....

    Kwa ufupi.. dada zetu nyie wajanja a.k.a mashapu!!! sijui ni vizuri au vibaya!!
     
  2. Chauro

    Chauro JF-Expert Member

    #2
    May 1, 2012
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    dada kwenye picha ana kimwili kizuri kweli!
     
  3. M

    Mama Ashrat Member

    #3
    May 1, 2012
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    Kwenye hayo maswala ya kucheat na kuwa wadanganyifu kwenye mapenzi/mahusiano sio sifa ya maana kusema wanawake/wanaume ndio zaidi ila kama ingekua ni sifa ningesifia wanawake.

    Pamoja na kwamba wanaume hua wanajipa vichwa na kujiaminisha kwamba wanawake ni weak na wanatendwa sana ila ukweli ni kwamba akili ku'mkichwa. Wanawake ni wajanja, ndio maana hata kabla hujamtongoza na kukubaliwa anakua ameshakuandalia mazingira. Kwa maana nyingine wanaume mnachaguliwa KABLA ya kuchagua.

    Linapokuja swala la kucheat kuna uwezekano mkubwa sana wanawake wakawa wamekubuhu zaidi ya wanaume.
    Sababu.. .
    1. Ni rahisi kwa mwanamke kuficha hisia zake pale anapotaka hivyo sio rahisi mwanaume wake kung'amua mabadiliko.
    2.Pamoja na kwamba wanaume hua wanajiona "miamba" kuwa hawadati kirahisi pale wanapopewa mambo adimu, wanawake ambao ni "cheaters wazoefu" wanaweza kumudu hilo swala zaidi.
    3.Wanaume wanawekeza huko kwenye nyumba ndogo kutokana na namba 2 hapo juu, wanawake wachache sana ndio wafanyao hivyo.
    4.Wanawake hua 'wanacheza salama'. Kwa wale waliojipanga hua hawakurupuki wala kuamsha suspicion, hu wanafanya mambo yao mapema na kuwepo nyumbani on time, wakati mwanaume akishadata hua rahisi kushawishika hata a'spend the night'.
    5.......
     
  4. BRO LEE

    BRO LEE JF-Expert Member

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    May 1, 2012
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    Hapo kwenye nyekundu, nakubaliana na ww, lakini wanaume wengi hawajui kusoma alama za nyakati m2 unapoteza muda na fedha kumfuatilia mwanamke ukijidanganja labda atabadili mawazo! nakuhakikishia km hujamvutia mwanamke hata ufanye nini hutampata na hata km utampata kwa kumjengea mazingira ya kukukubali basi ujue utaumizwa sana katika huo uhusiano na hauta dumu.
     
  5. A

    Ave Ave Maria JF-Expert Member

    #5
    May 1, 2012
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    We Mama Ashrat wewe.......sidhani kama tunazidi access ya hawa viumbe kwenye suala la infiii, labda mseme fifty fifty!!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  6. Mc Tilly Chizenga

    Mc Tilly Chizenga JF-Expert Member

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    May 1, 2012
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    nikiwa form 6 niliwasikia kama ndyoko anavyowasikiaga wadada,wanafunzi wawili wa kike wanahadithiana "nashangaa wanaume wengine anakulala mara moja eti anahesabia kakulala,mi hao wa mara 1 hata siwakumbuki"

    since then nikajua huenda wanawake ni hatari kuliko wanaume tunavyodhani!
     
  7. sweetlady

    sweetlady JF-Expert Member

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    Shauri lako, utazeeka masikio wewe!
     
  8. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Kila mara mimi huwa nasema ikija kwenye mambo ya 'nani zaidi' kwenye ku cheat kati ya wanawake na wanaume - it's a horse race.

    Tatizo ni kuwa watu wengi kwenye haya mambo wanasukumwa na imani. Lakini mtu ukiamua kuyamulika na kuyaangalia kwa uhalisia utagundua kuwa hakuna tofauti kubwa sana kati ya wanawake na wanaume katika kucheat.

    Mimi ni member kule Ashley Madison (Ashley Madison - Married Dating & Discreet encounters - Have An Affair). Kila siku napata 'matches' wa kike ambao ni wake za watu na ambao wanatafuta discreet affairs.

    So go figure....
     
  9. Dogo1

    Dogo1 JF-Expert Member

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    yote hii ni longolongo tu, kama hakuna utafiti juu ya hhili! Ku- chaet ni tabia ya m2 bila kujali ni mme au mmke.

    Hata wanawake wapo wanaotumia fedha nyingi kumdaka mwanamme, so in ze absence of data naweza kukubaliana ni Kipipi kuwa hii meneno ya ku-cheat kati ya m & f ni fifty2
     
  10. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    May 1, 2012
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    wanawake pasua kichwa....the moment ukijifanya 'unawajua' tu
    imekula kwako
     
  11. M

    Mama Ashrat Member

    #11
    May 1, 2012
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    Na wewe unajimwaga tu au unapotezea?!

    Kipipi
    Wanawake ni wajanja sana, ndio maana mpaka leo bado wapo watu wanaoamini kwamba wanawake hawa-cheat.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  12. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #12
    May 1, 2012
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    Na hicho ulichosikia bila ya shaka kilifungua kifikra!!
     
  13. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #13
    May 1, 2012
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    Hili laweza kuwa quote ya wiki!
     
  14. Codon

    Codon JF-Expert Member

    #14
    May 1, 2012
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    Napita jamani,Wazima lakini?
     
  15. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #15
    May 1, 2012
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    Ooh.. a card carrying member eh!?
     
  16. Kiranga

    Kiranga JF-Expert Member

    #16
    May 1, 2012
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    Astaghafurillah mpaka wazee washika majembe nao siku hizi ? Pishia mbali.

    On the real though. This notion that "women are this" and "men are that" is highly subjective.

    There has got to be a more definitive category to make this discussion sensible, otherwise I am tempted to say there are women of every sort and similarly,men. The tallying of who is doing more than who will involve an impracticable method of fact finding.

    To be more sensible, the question will need to be refined and confined to a more manageable sample space.

    Case in point, I know close to nothing about the habits of married Mongol women and modern day descendants of Moguls. If you want to talk about "women" with no further qualification you must exhaust all the types and sub-types to be meaningful. It is better to define the question in a more focused way.

    Just what kind of women are we talking about here anyway? Women are not a monolithic block with a homegenous psyche, we see some "like" women, some "like" men and some "like" both.Just to cite one example.

    To lump them all together is the height of ridiculous oversimplification and presumptuous licentiousness.
     
  17. Codon

    Codon JF-Expert Member

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    May 1, 2012
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    Napita jamani,Wazima lakini?
     
  18. m

    mjasiria JF-Expert Member

    #18
    May 1, 2012
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    OK ok ok,
    Lets go back to ze basics. Kwanza suala la mwanamke kuchagua kwanza lina ukweli fulani japo si 100% kwa sababu pamoja na mwanamke kuchagua kwanza, lakini pia ni lazima mwanaume amchague huyo mwanamke ndipo amtongoze na ndiyo maana unaweza kukuta mwanamke anaonesha dalili zote za kumtaka mwanaume lakini mwanaume akampotezea. Kwahiyo basi suala la kuchaguana ni pande zote mbili.

    Pili suala la ujanja wa wanawake katika ku-cheat limekaa kimakuzi na kiutamaduni zaidi. Sababu ya wanaume kuonekana wana-cheat zaidi ni ukweli kuwa ni kama vile ni kitu kinachokubalika au kutegemewa katika jamii. Na ndiyo maana ni kawaida wanaume kushikwa ugoni na kusamehewa. Tukirudi upande wa pili, jamii bado haikubaliani na suala la mwanamke ku-cheat hivyo basi hili limewaathiri hata wanawake wenyewe na kuwafanya wafanye haya mambo kwa usiri mkubwa, kwa sababi tofauti na wanaume mara nyingi sana wanawake wakikamatwa ugoni basi inakula kwao jumla.

    Tukirudi kwenye suala la kuwekeza kwenye ku-cheat, ni kweli kuwa wanaowekeza zaidi ni wanaume kuliko wanawake kwa sababu zilezile za kijamii kuwa mwanaume ndiye anayetegemewa kuwa ni mtoaji. (sidhani kama nahitajika kutoa maelezo marefu hapa)

    Kuna namna nyingi sana za kuangalia haya masuala, lakini ngoja niwaachie wadau wengine watoe mapwoint.
     
  19. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #19
    May 1, 2012
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    very true, utaona kuwa tunachozungumza hapa tunaelewana tunazungumzia a typical man or woman ambao tuna uzoefu nao - yaani Mtanzania. Hatuhitaji kudefine na kuelezea kwa kila kundi la Wamongo, wahindi, waarabu, wachina, wafilipino au wamexican! Kujaribu kudefine kila mjadala katika vipande vyake vidogo vidogo ni kupoteza kabisa mjadala mzima na kujaribu kutafsiri kila neno ili kila mtu aelewe itakuwa tena ni academic endeavor. Mjadala huu si wa kitaalamu, na wala siyo wa kisomi ni mazungumzo tu ya watu wanapiga soga na hauna lengo lolote la kuandika thesis juu ya "kucheat" au "kudanganyana".

    Kujaribu kuusoma hivyo ni kuupa uzito usiostahili. Siyo mjadala wenye lengo la kudiagnose na kutibu a social malady.
     
  20. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #20
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    Kaazi kweli kweli! Yaani hata soga tu nazo ziwe zinajadiliwa kwa kutumia sijui ma sample space na ma nini nini? Mweh!
     
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