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Jinsi ya kuzuia kuzozana kusichafue (contaminate) ndoa yako

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Pdidy, Sep 10, 2009.

  1. Pdidy

    Pdidy JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Sep 10, 2009
    Joined: Nov 22, 2007
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    Jinsi ya kuzuia kuzozana kusichafue (contaminate) ndoa yako
    Kuzozana mara kwa mara katika ndoa huweza kusababisha contamination ya mahusiano hasa ndoa.

    Kama wewe na mwenzi wako mmejikuta mara kwa mara mnakuwa na mzozo wa maneno, vita ya maneno, kubishana kusikoisha kwa kila kitu, kila mmoja kumfokea mwenzake, kuzozana pengine siku mbili mfululizo au wiki basi inabidi mfahamu kwamba hicho kitendo hakileti afya yoyote katika mahusiano yenu na bila kubadilika basi mnaweza kujikuta mmechimba shimo ambalo kutoka itakuwa ngumu sana.

    Kuzozana hujitokeza pale mtu anakuwa frustrated na kile alikuwa anategemea mwenzake afanye, pia kuna wengine wamezaliwa mazingira ambayo bila kipigishana kelele za mizozo bado maisha kwao hayana ladha, inawezekana wapo sahihi kwamba kukisema kile kipo moyoni (gubu au donge) ni muhimu hata hivyo kutoa donge lako moyoni kwa sauti ya juu (kelele) kwa kulaumu na kimashtaka ni kuonesha something is wrong in you.

    Tunaweza kuwa frustrated mara kwa mara katika mahusiano lakini hakuna sababu kwa nini tunashindwa kuwasiliana vizuri na kwa kila mmoja kuwa na respect kwa mwenzake.

    Kuna msemo kwamba “It takes two to tango, and it takes two to argue”.
    Ikiwezekana hakikisha unawasiliana vizuri na kumpa heshima partner wako wakati unatoa lile unahisi linaumiza moyo wako kama ifuatavyo:
    Unapoongea usiongee kwa sauti kubwa (kelele hadi majirani wanaanza “kusema hao wameenza!”).
    Wala usimlaumu mwenzako (shambulia tatizo usimshambulie partner wako).
    Usimnyoshee vidole au kutoa mashitaka (tumia hekima kuelezea kile kinakuumiza kumbuka ndoa ni sisi siyo wewe au mimi).
    Usiape (swear) au kumbandika tabia ya kudumu (kila siku upo hivyo!).
    Usiingize irrelevant issues ambazo hazihusiki na mzozo uliopo.

    Kama wote mtakuwa makini kuhakikisha unafanyia kazi hizo rules hata kama mmoja wenu atakumbuka itasaidia kuwa na solution ya kutengeneza ndoa yenye afya.

    Ni vibaya sana kuwa na mtazamo negative kwa partner wako hasa kunapotokea tofauti yoyote, hakuna wakati muhimu kama kutumia maneno sahihi na kuwa makini na namna unawakilisha kitu ambacho hujapendezwa na mwenzi wako kwani kwa maneno tunabariki na kwa maneno tunalaani na kuna maneno yakitamkwa basi huingia kwenye moyo wa mwenzi wako na kuweza kubadilisha mwelekeo wa ndoa vizuri au vibaya.

    Kumbuka kumpenda mpenzi wako hata wakati wa mzozo ni jambo la maana kuliko sadaka.

    "Truly loving another means letting go of all expectations.
    It means full acceptance, even celebration of another's personhood
     
  2. Kandambilimbili

    Kandambilimbili R I P

    #2
    Sep 10, 2009
    Joined: Nov 11, 2008
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    Eheeee umemeliza??? nilijiandaaaa kupata bonge la shule
     
  3. Sokwe Mjanja

    Sokwe Mjanja JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Sep 10, 2009
    Joined: Jul 16, 2009
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    Kha! kwahiyo hapa hujaambulia shule mkuu?
     
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