coockie monster
JF-Expert Member
- May 2, 2015
- 357
- 669
Habari zenu wakuu?
Mimi kijana wa miaka 23,ni mtoto wa kwanza katika familia ya watoto wa 8 baba mmoja(two wifez). Nimelelewa katika familia ya kidini sana na huku baba yangu akiwa mtu strickly, mkali, Kr perfect na no one can tell him anything.
Tangu nilipokua mdogo nilikua namuogopa sababu alikua mkali sana,anachapa sana hata kwa vitu vidogo alikua nataka tusikosee kitu chochote ukifanya ana critisize..
Sasa masaibu yameenza baada ya kufeli form 6 kutokana na uzembe wangu mwenyewe nilimdissappoint sana nikawa mtu wa mishe nyingi, bangi na sigara kwa sana(hapo alikua hajui) akawa hanipendi kwa kweli sasa baada ya kukaa mwaka mzima home nikapata chuo cha afya na yeye akawa anataka nisome hiyo afya japo mm sikuipenda sababu hobby yangu kubwa ilikua ni computer engineering .
Nilikuwa natumia vilevi hivo still nilikjifunza mambo mengi mwenyewe kuhusu computer nikanunua my own laptop nikajua baadhi ya programming language kwa juu juu (python)inshort najua mambo mengi kuhusu pc na ndo my dream carrier .
Sasa mimi kuchaguliwa course ile sikuipenda japo niliapply pia kwenye computer engineering DIT, lakini bahati mbaya baada ya deadline waliniambia nimekosea kuapply kwahiyo nikakosa(nilapply diploma form 4 marks zangu ni nzuri) nilihuzunika sana japo yeye alifurahi akijua mwanae nimepata Clinical Officer.
Kabla ya kuanza chuo nilikua na kibiashara chetu mimi na mshkaji wangu ambacho kilikua kinanipatia pesa basi baada ya kupata chuo cha afya hicho nikawa siko mortivated kabisa na kusoma hiyo coz japo najua ilikua ina heshima.
Kazi uhakika na inalipa ila it was not my dream,not the thing i wanted to do in my life nikafeli pepa za mwanzo basi ndo kabisa nikagive up na ku drop out chuo ili niapply again engineering this year bila wazee kujua.
Sasa mitihani ikaanza kunivaa baada ya mzee kujua kua mimi sipendi ile course akanimind sana akaforce mimi nimalize mwaka ndo niache kumbe maskini nishaacha kitambo na alivyokuja kujua kuwa nimeacha ndo kabisaaa akatamani kuniua .
Akaniambia i am not his son and hatokua radhi na kitu nitachosoma.
Nimejaribu kumomba msamaha lakini kakataaa na huku nimeshapata course yangu nayotaka ambayo ningejilipia ada.
Kakataa kunisamehe na anataka nisepe hapa kwa sasa michakato yangu ya pesa imefreeze,bado naishi home.
Nina stress na madeni, mambo yangu yote yamekwama,i am a loser now kilakitu changu kibaya kinaanza kureveal na anaanza kujua na inazidi kumfanya awe bitter(japo nimeacha vilevyi vyote) sina raha na maisha yangu.
Yes najua nimefuck up my life, dissapoint my family and friends nimeharibu everything, nobody trust me, suicidal thoughts zimenijaa but i cant do it i want to move very far nianze upya kwa hapa naona siwezi kuanza upya, sababu my bad past is still around here on my family hawatoniamini tena.
Mi nataka nihame mkoa niende hata mkoa mwingine(nipo dar now) ambao sijulikani nistart again maisha yangu na kuwa mpya, mchamungu na mchapa kazi.
Mimi na upeo mzuri tu na najua vitu vingi tu sababu ya exposure yangu, but now i lost everything am just me i need a new life very far.
Wakuu nilikua naomba tu ushauri wenu na experience zenu i really need it.
Please najua mi mzembe, mjinga, mpumbavu, sijielewi yote hayo nishaambiwa haina haja ya kuniambia tena utazidisha machungu.
Mimi kijana wa miaka 23,ni mtoto wa kwanza katika familia ya watoto wa 8 baba mmoja(two wifez). Nimelelewa katika familia ya kidini sana na huku baba yangu akiwa mtu strickly, mkali, Kr perfect na no one can tell him anything.
Tangu nilipokua mdogo nilikua namuogopa sababu alikua mkali sana,anachapa sana hata kwa vitu vidogo alikua nataka tusikosee kitu chochote ukifanya ana critisize..
Sasa masaibu yameenza baada ya kufeli form 6 kutokana na uzembe wangu mwenyewe nilimdissappoint sana nikawa mtu wa mishe nyingi, bangi na sigara kwa sana(hapo alikua hajui) akawa hanipendi kwa kweli sasa baada ya kukaa mwaka mzima home nikapata chuo cha afya na yeye akawa anataka nisome hiyo afya japo mm sikuipenda sababu hobby yangu kubwa ilikua ni computer engineering .
Nilikuwa natumia vilevi hivo still nilikjifunza mambo mengi mwenyewe kuhusu computer nikanunua my own laptop nikajua baadhi ya programming language kwa juu juu (python)inshort najua mambo mengi kuhusu pc na ndo my dream carrier .
Sasa mimi kuchaguliwa course ile sikuipenda japo niliapply pia kwenye computer engineering DIT, lakini bahati mbaya baada ya deadline waliniambia nimekosea kuapply kwahiyo nikakosa(nilapply diploma form 4 marks zangu ni nzuri) nilihuzunika sana japo yeye alifurahi akijua mwanae nimepata Clinical Officer.
Kabla ya kuanza chuo nilikua na kibiashara chetu mimi na mshkaji wangu ambacho kilikua kinanipatia pesa basi baada ya kupata chuo cha afya hicho nikawa siko mortivated kabisa na kusoma hiyo coz japo najua ilikua ina heshima.
Kazi uhakika na inalipa ila it was not my dream,not the thing i wanted to do in my life nikafeli pepa za mwanzo basi ndo kabisa nikagive up na ku drop out chuo ili niapply again engineering this year bila wazee kujua.
Sasa mitihani ikaanza kunivaa baada ya mzee kujua kua mimi sipendi ile course akanimind sana akaforce mimi nimalize mwaka ndo niache kumbe maskini nishaacha kitambo na alivyokuja kujua kuwa nimeacha ndo kabisaaa akatamani kuniua .
Akaniambia i am not his son and hatokua radhi na kitu nitachosoma.
Nimejaribu kumomba msamaha lakini kakataaa na huku nimeshapata course yangu nayotaka ambayo ningejilipia ada.
Kakataa kunisamehe na anataka nisepe hapa kwa sasa michakato yangu ya pesa imefreeze,bado naishi home.
Nina stress na madeni, mambo yangu yote yamekwama,i am a loser now kilakitu changu kibaya kinaanza kureveal na anaanza kujua na inazidi kumfanya awe bitter(japo nimeacha vilevyi vyote) sina raha na maisha yangu.
Yes najua nimefuck up my life, dissapoint my family and friends nimeharibu everything, nobody trust me, suicidal thoughts zimenijaa but i cant do it i want to move very far nianze upya kwa hapa naona siwezi kuanza upya, sababu my bad past is still around here on my family hawatoniamini tena.
Mi nataka nihame mkoa niende hata mkoa mwingine(nipo dar now) ambao sijulikani nistart again maisha yangu na kuwa mpya, mchamungu na mchapa kazi.
Mimi na upeo mzuri tu na najua vitu vingi tu sababu ya exposure yangu, but now i lost everything am just me i need a new life very far.
Wakuu nilikua naomba tu ushauri wenu na experience zenu i really need it.
Please najua mi mzembe, mjinga, mpumbavu, sijielewi yote hayo nishaambiwa haina haja ya kuniambia tena utazidisha machungu.
