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Anayependa Kweli na Anayeigiza Kupenda: Nini Tofauti Kati Yao?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by The Analyst, Jun 8, 2011.

  1. The Analyst

    The Analyst JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jun 8, 2011
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    Watu wengi tunapenda kusema yule mtoto au jamaa ananipenda sana a.k.a kanizimia ile mbaya nk. Naomba wanajamvi tujadili jambo hili kwa kina. Maadam kuna wasanii wengi sana ktk maisha ya siku hizi unaweza vipi kumtofautisha mtu anayekupenda kwa dhati na anayekusudia hasa (kwa dhati) kuonekana anakupenda kwa dhati japo siyo kweli?

    Hadi kufikia muda huu naamini kwamba kama mtu ana lake jambo na amekusudia kwa nia moja anaweza kuigiza vizuri kiasi cha kuaminika kama anayependa kwa dhati wakati kumbe ana nia yake tofauti, na kupenda ni njia tu kufikia malengo. Mfano mzuri ni kijana anayempenda binti na kufanya mengi tu kama kubadili dini nk akidai anapenda lakini akishafaidi anachotaka huyoooo! anatimua. Hamjawasikia watu kama hao? Baadhi yao wanasema waziwazi kwamba iliwalazimu kujifanya wamependa ile mbaya ili wapate. Madada pia wapo wanaodai walijifanya wamependa ili kupata utajiri nk.
     
  2. Gagurito

    Gagurito JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jun 8, 2011
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    swali lako gumu sana!
     
  3. The Analyst

    The Analyst JF-Expert Member

    #3
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    Nimeleta swali hili hapa jamvini baada ya kuwauliza watu kadhaa wenye hekima zao lakini majibu yao yote yanazua maswali zaidi kuliko majibu. Mmoja anasema unaangalia matendo ya mhusika. Sasa ukifikiria matendo ndiyo yanaigizwa siku zote bado wataweza kufanana.
     
  4. Kaka Mpendwa

    Kaka Mpendwa JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jun 8, 2011
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    Kwa maoni yangu kuna vitu vingi sana vya kuangalia..Ingekuwa wote tupo kwenye level moja kila kitu basi ingekuwa rahisi kutambua..

    Mi ninavyoona, mambo yafuatayo yanawezeka kusababisha mtu akawa na upendo fake ili atimize azma yake..

    1. umaskini
    2. dini/imani
    3. elimu
    4. umri
    5. maeneo tunayoishi (asili yetu)/kabila
    6. Magonjwa
    Hivi vitu visiposhughulikiwa mapema vinaweza kupelekea mapenzi ya uongo..Mtu anaweza 'kukupenda' kwa sababu ya kipato chako. au mwingine atadanganya kwamba anaishi 'Dar' ili muwe wapenzi..

    Kwa hiyo kumjua mtu kama anaupendo wa kweli basi ni vyema
    1.Uandae vigezo vyako ili kumpima mwenzio
    2.Kujenga tabia ya kuwa wazi kusema umri, elimu, n,k kama nilivyoorodhesha hapo juu
    3.Kuwa na uvumilivu/kusubiri ili kuujua undani wa mwenzio
    4.kujiatahidi kupata ushauri kama kuna utata
    5.Kumshirikisha Mungu sana.

    Ni hayo
     
  5. Shantel

    Shantel JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jun 8, 2011
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    abeeeeeeeeeeee
     
  6. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jun 8, 2011
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    Anaekupenda kwa dhati anaoekana kwa matendo yake na kufulfil promises,ila hii ni ngumu kuielezea hasa kwani namna ya kutambua huwa ni tofauti kwa mtu na mtu!
     
  7. The Analyst

    The Analyst JF-Expert Member

    #7
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    We Vipi?..... Nimeuliza... sijakuita! Nauliza kwa mara nyingine Shantel, anayependa kweli na anayeigiza kupenda: nini tofauti kati yao?

     
  8. The Analyst

    The Analyst JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jun 8, 2011
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    Namna yako ya kutambu iko vipi?

     
  9. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #9
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    Soma thead nimeeleza vizuri ila ni tofauti kati ya mtu na mtu,kwa ujumla ni vigumu kuelezea!
     
  10. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jun 8, 2011
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    Jamani maswali yote ya nini?!Embu pendaneni tu yaishe!!!
     
  11. pauline

    pauline JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jun 8, 2011
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    huwaga napenda michango yako yote kaka mpendwa hukurupukagi,na michango yako imejaa hekima:mwaaah::mwaaah::mwaaah:
     
  12. The Analyst

    The Analyst JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jun 8, 2011
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    Unajua hofu yangu nini...? Huyu mtu anayeamua kuigiza anajua wazi utaangali vigezo ulivyotaja kwa hiyo itakuwa katika agenda zake kuhakikisha anakuridhisha katika vigezo hivyo kwa kuwa pengine lengo lake aolewe na mwenye senti au mwenye umaarufu na kupata chochote ambacho yeye atakuwa anakilenga. Kama mtu anaweza kujifanya kaokoka ili ampate Kaka Mpendwa huko Church ukimpima kwa imani yake utakuta naye ananena kwa lugha bado kumtofautisha inakuwa ngumu.
    Kumshirikisha Mungu kwa sala; wengi husikika wakisema na kushauri watu lakini kesho na keshokutwa unakuta nao mambo si mambo inagundulika kulikuwa na udanganyifu.

     
  13. The Analyst

    The Analyst JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Jun 8, 2011
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    Umesahau kusema "Embu pendaneni na danganyaneni tu yaishe" maana kuna mahusiano mengine unakuta wote wawili kila mmoja ana ajenda zake za siri. Msanii anataka promosheni kwa Radio/TV DJ na DJ naye anataka marupurupu ya Msanii. Wote wanabusu kama hawana akili nzuri, wanapelekana lunch kama wametoka jela nk mwisho wa siku inagundulika kila mmoja ana penzi lake huko nje na kote wanadai ndiyo wamefika ila tu hali haijaruhusu kumwacha huyu asiyependwa. Kuna vituko sana kwenye the so called Love.

     
  14. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Jun 8, 2011
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    Loh....naomba tu nisiwe mshiriki kwenye haya maigizo na nisianguke kwa mwigizaji!!!
     
  15. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Jun 8, 2011
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    The analyst ndo maana nimekuambia ni tofauti kwa mtu na mtu kutokana na msuala ya pretance,but also unatakiwa vigezo visiwe vile vya public,kuwa tofauti,utamjua anaejicopy!
     
  16. Kaka Mpendwa

    Kaka Mpendwa JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Jun 8, 2011
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    Fine..mapenzi sio sayansi kama fizikia..
    ni kweli kuna kuigiza sana kwenye mapenzi.
    Wakati mwingine ni vizuri kukubali kwamba hatuna majibu kwa kila kitu kinachotokea around. (we dont have an explanation for a cause on each and everything). Huwezi kujua kwa uhakika huyu mtu ana mbinu gani.

    Ndo maana ninaona kumtegemea Mungu kuna faida especially kwenye vitu ambavyo sina uwezo navyo kama binadamu. Hii haimaanishi kwamba yakiharibika basi nimtupie lawama, la hasha, bali inasaidia kufanya mambo kwa umakini.


    Pia kikubwa ni kujitambua jinsi tulivyo; kwa mfano, kama binti anajijua yeye ni mzuri, basi ajue kuwa atafuatwa na wengi; ajipange kupembua mchele na pumba.
     
  17. The Analyst

    The Analyst JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Jun 8, 2011
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    Nilichogundua katika kuishi kwangu ni kwamba wanaume hawajui mengi kuhusu wanawake sawa na wanawake wasivyojua mengi kuhusu wanaume. Utasikia mtu anadai "yule mtoto ananizimia sana" lakini anayesemwa kuzimia alikuwa na jamaa mwingine jana tu na akimweleza wazi kwamba hawezi kumwacha yule mshikaji wa kwanza kwa sasa kwa kuwa jamaa atadhurika kisaikolojia na pengine atajidhuru lakini jamaa wa pili avumilie kidogo tu maana muda si muda atapata namna ya kumwacha kwa kuwa hampendi bali ni shida tu zilimpeleka kwa jamaa.
    Kwa uzoefu wangu mdogo watu wanaokuwa marafiki wa kawaida kwa muda mrefu kabla ya kuwa wapenzi wana nafasi kubwa ya kutodanganyana kwa kuwa huwa si rahisi kumdanganya mtu anayekujua nje ndani.

     
  18. The Analyst

    The Analyst JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Jun 8, 2011
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    Naomba urejee post na. 16 ya Kaka Mpendwa. Ukweli ni kwamba hili jambo linakuwa gumu sana mtu anapokuwa anatafuta mwenza wa kudumu kama mke au mume. Huwezi kuamini wapo watu wanapretend na hawaoni soo kwenda madhabahuni.

     
  19. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Jun 8, 2011
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    Ndo maana hua nashauri watu wawe marafiki kabla ya kuambiana nia zao!Utakuta mtu kanijua last week...hajui naishi wapi na vipi tayari ananiambia ananipenda na angependa tuwe na
    mahusiano.Sasa fikiria ikiwa huyu mtu hana nia mbaya na mimi(kanipenda kweli)...na mimi nna uchu wa ndoa.Kakudanganya nanibkwamba sitaanza kuvaa sketi ndefu na sweta kwakua nimeshagundua ye hapendi makuu ili nijipatie ndoa yangu na mie?!?!

    Watu wapunguze haraka...kua rafiki yangu...nijue...nichunguze kisha jitose ukiwa unajua huyu ndie!!
     
  20. The Analyst

    The Analyst JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Jun 8, 2011
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    Ila usisahau kitu kimoja. Urafiki wa kawaidia kati ya watu wa jinsi mbili huwa ni wa pekee sana. Mara nyingi hawa watu watapaswa kushea interests kadhaa au kutunziana siri, kushauriana, kusoma, kufanya kazi pamoja nk.. wengine hata hufanyiana ukuwadi. Uhusiano wenyewe usipokuwa natural enough (ktk sensi ya upekee wake) hautakawia kuporomoka na hivyo kutofikia malengo.

     
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