Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

~~~~~~~//~~~~~~~~

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Viol, Oct 17, 2011.

  1. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Oct 17, 2011
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
    Messages: 18,597
    Likes Received: 461
    Trophy Points: 180
    Mvulana:naweza nikapanda milima mirefu, naweza nikaongelea baharini kwenye kina kiredu na hata kutembea kwenye mkaa wa moto unaochoma,hii yote nikuonyesha jinsi navyokupenda

    Msichana: Jamani dia una maneno matamu ndo mana nakupenda,leo uje basi getoni kwangu.

    Mvulana: We mjinga nini? siwezi kuja nje mvua inanyesha.
     
  2. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Oct 17, 2011
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
    Messages: 18,597
    Likes Received: 461
    Trophy Points: 180
    Jaribu kusema ''ALFA'' halafu useme tena ''Q'',sasa rudia hayo maneno haraka haraka kwa sauti.
     
  3. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Oct 17, 2011
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
    Messages: 18,597
    Likes Received: 461
    Trophy Points: 180
    Kulikuwa na jamaa mmoja amekaa katika baa maeneo mageni kwake, alikuwa na kinywaji chake mbele yake na alikuwa anakiangalia kwa muda mrefu, ghafla akatokea jamaa mmoja baunsa amelewa na akiwa na demu akashika glasi ya mchizi akainywa,huku anacheka

    jamaa akaanza kulia, yule baunsa akamuambia,
    BAUNSA: (huku anacheka) yaani wewe mjinga kweli kukuchukulia kinywaji ndio ulie??ngoja nikununulie kingine,**** kweli wewe.

    JAMAA: (huku analia) siyo hivyo ila sijui nina mkosi gani leo, maana nimeamka asubuhi nikachelewa kazini nimefika bosi akanifukuza kazi, natoka nje gari yangu imeibiwa nikenda polisi wakanizungusha tu, nikapanda tax kwenda nyumbani nimeshuka katika tax nikasahau walet na simu katika tax na dereva tax si mjui,
    nimeingia ndani kwangu namkuta mke wangu amelala na kijana wangu wa kazi
    nikaamua kuja bar nimekaa nafikiria jinsi ya kuepukana na balaa hili la maisha na wewe umekuja umekunywa sumu yangu.
     
  4. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Oct 17, 2011
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
    Messages: 18,597
    Likes Received: 461
    Trophy Points: 180
    Jamaa ana vidole vigumu vya mkono mpaka akigusa keyboard ya computer,computer inasema NEW DEVICE FOUND AND READY TO INSTALL.
     
  5. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Oct 17, 2011
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
    Messages: 18,597
    Likes Received: 461
    Trophy Points: 180
    Kuna dogo aliokota Condom iliotumika, akaenda kwa mama ake mazungumzo yakawa km ifuatavyo:
    Mtoto: Mama nimeokota pulizo!
    Mama: Embu tulione!
    (Mtoto kutoa kumbe ni cndom iliootumika!)
    Mama: Iyo chafu tupa!
    Mtoto: Shtaki mimi! (Huku akigoma!)
    Mama: tupa nakwmbia, ntakuchapa!
    Mtoto: shawa mama natupa ila uji uliokuwa ndani nshaunywa wote shasha!
     
  6. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Oct 17, 2011
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
    Messages: 18,597
    Likes Received: 461
    Trophy Points: 180
    Jamaa wawili walikuwa wakitoka matembezini saa6 usiku waliamua kutumia njia ya mkato kupitia makaburini kurudi makwao. Wakiwa katikati ya makaburi mara wakasikia mlio kama mtu anagonga kitu, tap-t ap, Jamaa wakapata woga wasijue la kufanya. Mara kwa mbele wakamuona babu m1 akiwa na nyundo na chizo (tupa) akichonga maandishi kwenye kaburi. M1 kati ya wale jamaa akasema,"aargh! Kumbe ni wewe babu! Umetuogopesha sana! Tulifikiri ni mzimu! Vp mbona unafanya kazi usiku namna hii?". Babu akajibu, "si hawa wajinga walikosea spelling za jina langu banah! Ndo narekebisha hapa!".
     
  7. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Oct 17, 2011
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
    Messages: 18,597
    Likes Received: 461
    Trophy Points: 180
    Shindano ilifanyika la kuwashindanisha watu wavivu.....jamaa aliyeshinda wakati wa kutoa zawadi akaambiwa achukue zawadi,akajibu ''' Aaahh mi nimechoka bhana''
     
  8. LiverpoolFC

    LiverpoolFC JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Oct 17, 2011
    Joined: Apr 12, 2011
    Messages: 10,956
    Likes Received: 78
    Trophy Points: 145
    Endelea! Endelea endelea endelea. Siyo kwng huku hata kidogo nimepita tu!
     
  9. Pota

    Pota JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Oct 17, 2011
    Joined: Apr 8, 2011
    Messages: 1,767
    Likes Received: 59
    Trophy Points: 145
    aisee......mtaalamu wa kuporomosha machozi na kuvunja mbavu za watu. thanks
    you made ma day.
     
  10. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Oct 17, 2011
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
    Messages: 18,597
    Likes Received: 461
    Trophy Points: 180
    Pota thanks much hakiharibiki kitu lazima uvunje mbavu
     
  11. DEVINE

    DEVINE JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Oct 17, 2011
    Joined: Mar 11, 2011
    Messages: 539
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 0
    Sasa ndo nimeweza kuvuta pumzi maana nilishikwa na kicheko balaa,safi sana mkuu.
     
  12. facebook

    facebook Senior Member

    #12
    Oct 17, 2011
    Joined: Jun 25, 2011
    Messages: 198
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 33
    Lol..hii kitu balaa!
     
  13. Leonard Robert

    Leonard Robert JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Oct 17, 2011
    Joined: Apr 22, 2011
    Messages: 8,399
    Likes Received: 1,082
    Trophy Points: 280
    kila nikitafakari sioni mkari kama wewe kaka ha ha ha ha ha ha.
     
  14. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Oct 17, 2011
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
    Messages: 18,597
    Likes Received: 461
    Trophy Points: 180
    yah ya ukweli
     
  15. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Oct 17, 2011
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
    Messages: 18,597
    Likes Received: 461
    Trophy Points: 180
    Thanks mkuu huu uwanja wa nyumbani
     
  16. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Oct 17, 2011
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
    Messages: 18,597
    Likes Received: 461
    Trophy Points: 180
    Dah pamoja mkuu
     
  17. Mzee wa Rula

    Mzee wa Rula JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Oct 17, 2011
    Joined: Oct 6, 2010
    Messages: 8,161
    Likes Received: 39
    Trophy Points: 145
    Heeeeeh, hii kali. Kungekuwa na zawadi ya bingwa wa aliyechekesha kwa wiki kushinda wote wewe ingeibuka mshindi.
     
  18. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Oct 17, 2011
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
    Messages: 18,597
    Likes Received: 461
    Trophy Points: 180
    thanks much mkuu
     
  19. Donnie Charlie

    Donnie Charlie JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Oct 17, 2011
    Joined: Sep 16, 2009
    Messages: 5,935
    Likes Received: 131
    Trophy Points: 160
    ha ha ha ...nadhani mwisho wa siku itamwambia no compatible driver found!
     
  20. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Oct 17, 2011
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
    Messages: 18,597
    Likes Received: 461
    Trophy Points: 180
    teh teh teh
     
Loading...