Hi guys 👋👋
"Wanawake tunatumia muda mwingi kutafuta makosefu ya wanaume badala ya kuangalia nakua-acknowledge ya kwetu."
Ni muda mrefu sana sijaandika kitu humu ila leo nimeona nishee jambo na nyie kabla mwaka haujaisha kwasababu somo lenyewe nimelipata mwaka huu.
Naturally, I'm very judgmental na sikuwahi kuona sababu ya mtu kucheat kwenye mahusiano yake no matter what. Nilikuwa nafika mahali namchukia kabisa mtu ambae anahangaika wakati ana mwanamke/mwanaume wake hata kama hanihusu. Yani I took it personal kabisa.
Sasa what happened is, kuna mkaka I really liked from the first day I met him (not romantically though 🙂🙂). He is really an awesome person. Kwa position aliyonayo angeweza kuwa mtu mwenye mbwembwe na majigambo sana but he is not like that at all. Anyway, he is successful, married with kids but far from Happy. 😐 Nilivyogundua kwamba he had a side chick (alafu hata hamfichi, yani mtu yoyote anaweza kufikisha taarifa kwa mke wake)...I was pissed & heartbroken kwakweli. Nilijiuliza maswali mia moja elfu kidogo and I felt sorry for his wife.
Nikaona isiwe tabu, now that we are friends au tuseme tumeanza kuzoeana sana, ngoja nitafute siku nimchane tu live.
Mungu sio Lizzy siku ikafika nikasema leo ndio leo. Ile najiandaa psychologically kuambiwa "mind your own damn business" au "You are being disrespectful to me right now and we can't work together anymore" akampigia mke wake simu. Mnajua jinsi ambavyo simu zetu huwa hazina siri sometimes kama haupo sehemu yenye makelele. Pokea yake tu was a downer!!😔😔 Even though mshkaji alikuwa anampigia kumpa good news (he was trying to do something nice to support her business) ila by the time the phone call ended...furaha yote aliyokuwa nayo wakati anadial # ilishapotea.
Kitu kikubwa nilichonotise ni kwamba his wife was acting the same way I did with my EX a while back. I can't deny mimi ni mkorofi sana and my best weapon mtu akiwa ameniboa ni kumpa COLD SHOULDER...Yani hata aniambie kitu kizuri namna gani I will act uninterested. Mwisho wa siku atajiona lofa kweli for trying.BUT HEY.... I'M LEARNING how to handle my issues better so please don't judge!!🙈🙈Anyway, she was really COLD towards him!! Bila kujali intention ya mshkaji. Na yeye mshkaji ni kama alikuwa ameshazoea ile hali...yani alikuwa anajitahidi knowing very well she probably won't care. Baada ya hapo we talked a lot...(I'm easy to talk to I think) , he told me his issues and I remember asking him, "Would you consider marrying your side chick as the 2nd wife or leaving your wife??" And the answer was NO to both questions (with details as to why not ofcourse.) Kadri siku zilivyoenda nikajikuta sasa namuonea yeye huruma badala ya mke wake....and that is because, wanaume they are physically & mentally strong and all that blah blah ila THEY CAN EASILY BE BROKEN EMOTIONALLY. And once a man is broken emotionally anakua weak hata mentally kwasababu furaha yake kubwa inatokana na mpenzi wake. tofauti na sisi wanawake ambao ni rahisi kupata furaha yetu kwa watoto, family & friends maisha yakaendelea kunoga. Ila for a man (hapa siongelei wale waliooa ilimradi, naongelea wale wanaowapenda kweli wake/wapenzi wao) hamna kitu kigumu kama kuwa at odds na mwenzake nyumbani. Kurudi nyumbani inakuwa kama adhabu maana there is nothing for him at home zaidi ya gubu na drama. Mtu anabaki kusema "I love her but I DON'T LIKE HER." And hey....who can stand someone they don't like???? No one!!!
Unakuta mwanaume anadeal with a lot of issues kwenye kazi/biashara zake ila mtu muhimu kwake hana msaada wowote kwake. Kikitokea kitu kizuri hivyo hivyo,anaona shida Kushare na wewe... who is he supposed to go to??? Marafiki nao, there is only so much you can tell them. Mwisho wa siku ndo mtu anajikuta anakuwa DEPRESSED au anadondoka mikononi mwa mtu ambae anaweza akaongea nae, akamuelewa, akampa moyo and such. And NO!!! Sitoi ruksa kwa wanaume kucheat....ila natoa RAI kwetu wanawake. We need to do better majumbani kwetu. Hata kama tumetoka kugombana, ifike mahali ATTITUDES zetu zisicontrol mahusiano yetu. Let's all be reasonable, forgiving and understanding. Tusilete hasira za ugomvi mdogo mdogo zizae matatizo makubwa zaidi. Ukiacha wale wanaume ambao kwao kucheat ni kitu ambacho hakihitaji sababu..kuna wachache ambao tunawasukuma wenyewe, yani tunawaFORCE kabisa.
Fortunately, mwaka wa hii couple unaisha vizuri kwasababu after some massive damage, they're both taking a break from their wicked ways trying to make things work. Makes me really happy I could help.
Kwakumalizia niseme tu...it's kind of a responsibility kwetu sisi wanawake kuwa-ENCOURAGE, kuwa-SUPPORT , kuwa-APPRECIATE, KUWASIFIA na kuwaruhusu kaka zetu (wa makazini, majumbani na mitaani), waume na wapenzi wetu wajue when they are doing something right. Maneno kama "Well done!! Umetisha!!Big up!! Asante!!You are the best!! Keep it up!! Endelea kupambana!!" etc. will go a long way. Trust me ladies. Let's all be the force of LOVE na sio the force of EVIL to these gentlemen. Let's make their lives a little more enjoyable 🙂🙂
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO Y'ALL.🎊🎊 BE GOOD & BE HAPPY!!🙂