Nje ya Mada
JF-Expert Member
- Sep 30, 2015
- 1,399
- 492
Kumamaakeeeh.. Nimekukubali Lecture Lumumba..
Mosquito on your Pumbu
Mosquito on your Pumbu
Ni wa hovyo kweli kabisa. unatia aibuWewe Ni miongoni mwa walimu wa hovyo hovyo kabisa....!!!
Hiki ni miongoni mwa vile vyuo vinavyotangazwa sana ITV kabla ya kipindi cha Mizengwe hakijaanza Jumapili
upo sahihi kiongoziHhahahahaahaa Amazon College au?
Chuo gani hiki kiwe na lecturers mbumbumbu namna hiyoooo
Ni wa hovyo kweli kabisa. unatia aibu
Hiki ni miongoni mwa vile vyuo vinavyotangazwa sana ITV kabla ya kipindi cha Mizengwe hakijaanza Jumapili
sihitaji kukujua as unadhalilisha kazi yakoJf bwana,
Natia aibu wakati hata hunijui mimi.
😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀
LE PROFESSORE. Dah! Hilo ni jipu.Wasalaaaaam,
Kama ilivyo ada vyuo msimu huu huwa unakuwa mgumu kwa Wanachuo wengi.
Huu ndiyo muda wa kumaliza semester ya kwanza na wanafunzi wengi hujifanya wanawapenda sana Wahadhiri (LECTURERS).
Hii yote hutokana na kutaka kurekebisha Course work au hata kupata possible za University Exams. Simply kwa walimu wengi huu ni wakati wa mavuno.
Basi katika msimu huu mimi YOUNG MALCOM nimekutana na ushuhuda wa Nguvu ya mapenzi A.K.A THE POWER OF LOVE.
Simply young malcom ni moja kati ya walimu vipele na wanoko; huwa sihongwi bia kwasababu mimi ni Padri incase you didn't know. Napenda wanafunzi wasome ili taifa lisiwe na wajinga wengi.
Unoko na ukipele wangu umegonga mwamba,
Kuna msemo kila Mjanja na mjanja wake.
What happened? Mapendi happened. ( Siyo kangu thou)
Kabinti kadogo-dogo hivi,
She's busty and a vision of perfection; but maan she's dumb. (A bimbo)
Ila daah Katoto ni kazuri balaaa.
Mzee Mugabe once said " IF GOD GIVES YOU BEAUTY WITHOUT THE BRAINS;THE PRIVATE PARTS SUFFER THE MOST".
Haka katoto hakashindi chuo bwana,
Kwenye vipindi hakaji full kusafiri yani.
Naskia kanasafiri na ndege na kanalala kwenye mahoteli makubwa hapa nchini.
Kuna kigogo moja wa serikali ya Awamu ya Nne anatokea kanda za kusini ni moja kati ya mambwana wake.
Sasa juzi nimetoa course work,
Katoto kana course work incomplete; hakajafanya test mbili.
Nkasema Yees haka si kanajifanya Ka Diva hapa Chuo sasa ni lazima kakome.
Watu wakawahi kusaini course work kisa mwalimu mnoko asije akawazuia wasifanye pepa.
Kabinti kako hewani tu.
Juzi mtihani ndiyo unataka uanze ndiyo kanakuja ofisini kwangu kananiambia kanataka course work. Nilikaambia rudi tu uje umalize mwakani.
Nimekaza uso nakuta ndiyo kwanza kako very relaxed; nikaanza kuwaza haka kasije kakawa kachawi nikafa bure hata sijaacha chata duniani.
Kakasema test hakawezi kufanya kwasababu kalikuwa na mambo ya muhimu sana kipindi hakapo.
Young Malcom nimekaza,
Kitoto kikainuka hata hakikubembeleza saaaaaaana.
Moyoni nikasema hakifanyi mtihani kwasababu tutakuwa tunalea ujinga kabisa.
Jioni huyo nimeenda kula bata na washikaji baada ya siku ndefu ya kusimamia mitihani ghafla nakuta namba ya Airtel inaingia.
Nikashangaa kwasababu mwenye hii namba ni LE PROFESSORE,
The honourable Vice Chancellor.
Nikasita kupokea baadae nikajua inaweza ikawa promotion hii na hivi juzi nimesifika kwa kukamata wanafunzi wapiga chabo.
Ile napokea nasema shikamoo, hata sijajibiwa naulizwa "WEWE NDIWE YOUNG MALCOM??" nikajibu "NDIYO MIMI MZEE SHIKAMOO"
hata hakujibu akasema kuna Mtu fulani anaitwa X (kale katoto kajinga-jinga). Nikajibu "NDIYO NAMJUA" akasema "NASKIA ANA MATATIZO YA COURSE WORK" nikasema "hajafanya test mbili na course work nimeshazipeleka kwa head of department". Akasema "head of department ndiyo professor X correct?" nikamwambia "Correct"... Basi his excellency the vice chancellor, my fellow tribes man akakata simu kwa dharau.
Nimewaza sana baada ya kurudi,
Nikasema ngoja niingie mtandaoni kwenye platform niangalie course work zikoje.
Yikes!Yikes! nakuta kale katoto kana course work complete na tena kamewapita watu wengi tu. Nkasema nini hiki, nikampigia lecturer mwenzangu mnoko pia. Akaniambia wewe Young Malcom you are just new here hivi hujui kwanini hiki chuo na kilivyo na maprofessa wakubwa na ukali wetu kale katoto hatugusi?
Kale katoto ni Chakula ya Le Professore, So chuna tu mdogo wangu.
Nikaju kujua kumbe haya mambo yapo kweli hapa nchini.
THE POWER OF LOVE.
Asubuhi nakuja kuambiwa kuna kipindi kalipanga nyumba ya gharama na kanalipa siyo chini ya laki 4 kwa mwezi.
Mimi nikabisha kabisa maana hata kama mimi ni dogo kale kana miaka kama 21 hivi lakini ni hatari hatariiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.
Naskia kwenye mtihani kameingia vizuri na kamefanya tena bila bughudha.
Kalichoniua zaidi ni pale nimesimuliwa kulikuwa na kesi ya wizi,
Kale katoto kaliazima laptop kama 6 za wenzake kwasababu kalikuwa na bwana wake moja ni Software engineer so akahitaji laptop za haraka afanyie kisha arudishe.
Kwa bahati mbaya kuna wajanja wakazipitia zile laptop na ya kale katoto na yule bwan jumla laptop 8.
Laptop zenyewe za bei mbaya,
Hapa hata Young Malcom nijipinde na mshahara wangu kama mnanti ni shida tupu.
Basi wenzake wakacheka wakasema kawezwa; wale walioibiwa wanang'aka hadi basi.
Full kubweka.
Kufika polisi naskia as usual katoto hata kupanic hakuna,
Angekuwa binti mwingine machozi debe, kamasi+ Blood pressure.
Kakakubali kweli zimeibiwa mikononi mwake na kana bear full responsibility.
Mhhhhh,
Ukistaajabu ya Mussa utaja shangaa ya Filahuni.
Kababy kakapote chuo for one week.
Kalivyo rudi kakaleta laptop 5 mpyaaaaaaaa.
Watu wakabaki midomo wazi.
Kakapotea tena ndani ya siku tatu kakaleta laptop tatu mpya pamoja nayake na ya bwana wake huyo wa Software engineer.
Polisi walibaki midomo wazi,
Wenzake midomo wazi,
watu wa faculty full midomo wazi.
OOOH YEAH THE POWER OF LOVE.
Laptop bei siyo chini ya laki sita.
Khaaaaa. Maskini Private Parts.
Sasa jana nimetaka kufa kabisa,
Nimeenda sehemu hiyo VERY EXECUTIVE,
Ile sehemu full mapededzjee na vigogo.
Mimi niliunga unga tu kuingia kwasababu ya Dingi mdogo.
Mle ndani nakakuta kapo, sasa kapo na nani ndiyo nlitaka kufa.
Kako na Mzee moja ni Judge wanapiga nako story ova mtu na shosti wake.
Mimi niliishiwa nguvu tu, nasema ni heri nililegeza kamba kwasababu kangenikodia hata wahuni wanifanye kitu mbaya haka.
Sasa ile kuniona tupo na dingi mdogo wacha kaje kumsalimia,
Full makisi na mahug mimi nimefura hasira tu,
dingi mdogo anaongea nako ova mtu mzima mwenzake.
Nikamwambia dingi mdogo naenda Rest Room one time, akaniambia ngoja nkutambulishe. Eti Malcom this is X and she's my good friend.
Aiseeeeeeeeeeee, kale katoto sijui tu.
Good friend na mtu wa miaka 56?
Akakaambia this is my nephew mtoto wa Kaka yangu LUMUMBA SR.
Kakacheka sana nilivyostuka kakasema Nimefurahi kukufahamu,
Huku kananikhebei kakasema "MIMI MAMA MDOGO WAKO BWANA"
From that moment nikasema siji kucheza na hawa mabinti wa mujini kwasababu baba mdogo wangu mimi ni MAFIOSI hapa Mjini na anamipesa yake mingi tu.
Sasa kama kibinti hiki ni kirafiki chake khaaaaa.
Nashukuru sana
Sikukafuatilia kabisa,
Na mtihani wake ni lazima nikape "A".
Nisije kufa mtoto mie hata sijawahi kupendwa na kuacha chata.
Khaaaaa, The power of love ni hatari.
Nikakumbuka hadi Signature yangu kwambe WHEN A MOSQUITO LANDS ON YOUR TESTICLES, DO NOT HIT IT.
Basi haka katoto ni Mosquito on my testicle.
sihitaji kukujua as unadhalilisha kazi yako
You don't deserve to be an educator... Huyo unalala nae kama ganda la ndizi triiiiiiii! Na serikali hii hapa kazi uone sasa nani atakugusaa!!! Silei ujinga hata mara moja!! Elimu ya tz inakufa haki ya nani.. Huyu nae ni lecturer, na maproff wake viazi wakuu wa idara!!!!