Daviie
JF-Expert Member
- May 20, 2016
- 1,292
- 1,483
Hey there, how you doing?!
If you're living Congratulations to you. Here feels like no life, Just breathing waiting for nothing. Now I am lying awake this time (01:55) looking under the poor roof with smoke dust and rusty. I don't deserve here. My thoughts! I wonder why I came to this earth? Now my Tears are secreating down when I think I'm here mistakenly. Maybe I am a waste of space.
Why do my life keep moving toward undefeated troubles? these are not just troubles... strong MISERIES. I have tried and tried to be strong and tolerant but the Demons are even more stronger. I have tried to hold on and on but they never get tired to leave me just for a single day so that I can get atleast a temporary relief, or even a minute so that I can do what I can't do and everyone else do very normally without even notice someone inside here is burning with bitterness for missing all those little things.
I keep watching and listening others. Why is God so quite when I have already surrendered? I can't hold it much longer. An hour to me is like a month, A day is like a year.then a year pass as quick as a single Day and I'm doing nothing. I'm so Sick and Tired to Live. I'm cursing the day I was born, now I know why I cried that day. I'm cursing with all my ancestors names a day when the Earth showed me its real face and knocked me down.
When everyone else cried I took it easy thought that I'm so strong to handle that. Now I have found out the truth that I lied to myself and when I cry I am all alone and no body care, no hody give a flip. I wish I never existed, I do better disappear to no time. When I can't do anything then I hate everything around, every Important thing is Impossible to Me.
Sometimes I think even if I would be the richest person in the World still i would be i a messiful situation, then why You World allowed me to show up from my Mother's womb alive that day? Why Did you let me out ? Well, maybe you would say you teach me to be strong,I have been so strong beyond my ability. I know you know it but still you seriously want to kill Me. I won't die before I tell you how Much I hate you. I HATE YOU WORLD.
You know you are totally not fair and I can do nothing but I tell you what I can do is hating you more than a word itself. You separated me from everything Important. My frieds, my Family is tired of me being a burden to them, you separate me from all my hobbies and favorites, you separated me from my Faith and now you separate me from myself. I'm confused don't know what to do, why do you want to kill me? Ok kill me now if you want.
Don't wait so long. You act like you know everything but this thing you don't know from me "I don't fear Death" kill Me now if you want. As I don't know where you took me before life then I don't care where you'll take me after. Why you put limits in all my ways? What do you want me to do then? I HATE YOU.
Better if you would do this when I was still a child, it would be Ok to me since I have had used, accepted and adopted the situation. I would never mind If you would wait utill I'm old enough but you act to be so brave to put me in this shit in my late teenage to twenties. The most thing I hate in this world is YOU WORLD.
If you're living Congratulations to you. Here feels like no life, Just breathing waiting for nothing. Now I am lying awake this time (01:55) looking under the poor roof with smoke dust and rusty. I don't deserve here. My thoughts! I wonder why I came to this earth? Now my Tears are secreating down when I think I'm here mistakenly. Maybe I am a waste of space.
Why do my life keep moving toward undefeated troubles? these are not just troubles... strong MISERIES. I have tried and tried to be strong and tolerant but the Demons are even more stronger. I have tried to hold on and on but they never get tired to leave me just for a single day so that I can get atleast a temporary relief, or even a minute so that I can do what I can't do and everyone else do very normally without even notice someone inside here is burning with bitterness for missing all those little things.
I keep watching and listening others. Why is God so quite when I have already surrendered? I can't hold it much longer. An hour to me is like a month, A day is like a year.then a year pass as quick as a single Day and I'm doing nothing. I'm so Sick and Tired to Live. I'm cursing the day I was born, now I know why I cried that day. I'm cursing with all my ancestors names a day when the Earth showed me its real face and knocked me down.
When everyone else cried I took it easy thought that I'm so strong to handle that. Now I have found out the truth that I lied to myself and when I cry I am all alone and no body care, no hody give a flip. I wish I never existed, I do better disappear to no time. When I can't do anything then I hate everything around, every Important thing is Impossible to Me.
Sometimes I think even if I would be the richest person in the World still i would be i a messiful situation, then why You World allowed me to show up from my Mother's womb alive that day? Why Did you let me out ? Well, maybe you would say you teach me to be strong,I have been so strong beyond my ability. I know you know it but still you seriously want to kill Me. I won't die before I tell you how Much I hate you. I HATE YOU WORLD.
You know you are totally not fair and I can do nothing but I tell you what I can do is hating you more than a word itself. You separated me from everything Important. My frieds, my Family is tired of me being a burden to them, you separate me from all my hobbies and favorites, you separated me from my Faith and now you separate me from myself. I'm confused don't know what to do, why do you want to kill me? Ok kill me now if you want.
Don't wait so long. You act like you know everything but this thing you don't know from me "I don't fear Death" kill Me now if you want. As I don't know where you took me before life then I don't care where you'll take me after. Why you put limits in all my ways? What do you want me to do then? I HATE YOU.
Better if you would do this when I was still a child, it would be Ok to me since I have had used, accepted and adopted the situation. I would never mind If you would wait utill I'm old enough but you act to be so brave to put me in this shit in my late teenage to twenties. The most thing I hate in this world is YOU WORLD.