Dont just fall in love

8 THINGS THAT HINDER INTIMACY

Intimacy is not just about sex. Intimacy is the deep connection between two people that are in love. The following are some of the things that hinder intimacy between you and your spouse/partner

1. OVER DEPENDENCY ON SEX
When your time alone together largely focuses on sex, then you might miss out on the richness of love. Sex can distract. Stop looking at your spouse/partner as a source of pleasure but as a spirit to connect with. Lay naked and cuddle, hug, have pillow talks. It's not always about sex

2. NO ALLOCATION OF QUALITY TIME
Intimacy can never be rushed. If you and your spouse/partner are constantly in a hurry, you will never have a deep connection. You need time to open up and be vulnerable. There are things you two will never share if you don't give each other ample time

3. PORNOGRAPHY
This can lead to a warped view of adult time. It can cloud your head with images and memories of nude strangers until the adult time between you two gets corrupted. Keep your spirit pure

4. CHILDREN
Children are a gift from God but sometimes you have to keep them at a distance. Find a way to occupy your child/children or even on occasions, let your child/children go for a sleep over to a neighbor's or your parent's place so that you two can be left alone

5. WORK
As you work hard for your family, don't forget to make time for that family. Set boundaries. Don't go with work at home. have hours where it's just for you and your spouse

6. AFFAIRS
When you are having an affair or flirting with others, it distracts you from being purely and wholly intimate with your spouse/partner

7. SUSPICION
When your spouse/partner suspects you of cheating whether you are cheating or not, he/she will hold back and intimacy will be disrupted. This is why you should not only stay faithful, but also make sure you do not do anything that might make your spouse/partner think that you are cheating

8. FEAR
Fear of how one will be received when they open up and be vulnerable keeps many from engaging at a deeper level of intimacy. This is why it is important to make your spouse/partner feel safe so that you two can be real with each other. And when your spouse does trust you with personal issues, offer security even more by loving them with the good and bad that you know about him/her

© Akello Oliech and Dayan Masinde

DON'T JUST FALL IN LOVE...

Be in a relationship with someone who shares the same or a better view with you about the word of God.

Be in a relationship with someone who values God's word.

Be in a relationship with someone who supports your vision and encourages you to be better.

Be in a relationship with someone who trusts you and you trust as well.

Be in a relationship with someone you can argue with and it won't turn to seven weeks of silence marathon.

Be in a relationship with someone who yields to correction without seeing you as an enemy.

Be in a relationship with someone who is financially wise and knows the value of money.

Be in a relationship with someone you share the same passion with you for the same purpose.

Be in a relationship with someone you can laugh and play with.

Be in a relationship with someone who upholds the value of successful home.

Be in a relationship with someone who knows how to control his or her anger.

Be in a relationship with someone who yields to forgiveness.

Be in a relationship with someone who values and treats you right.

Be in a relationship with someone who respect his or her family and holds the same oooo about yours.

The list is endless....
ABOVE ALL BE in a RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHO KNOWS, LOVES, OBEYS GOD AND IS PURPOSE DRIVEN.

©Shola Abayomi Ogundimu
Author/Relationship Counselor.

July, 2020.

LET HER WASH HER FACE!

Hello bros, to avoid heart attack on the wedding night, I will advise you to tell your fiancee to thoroughly wash her face with soap and water, if she always wear make up each time you see! Better still, pay her an UNEXPECTED one early morning and see what she looks like in the name of God!

I am not against make up! This lady looks really beautiful and stunning with this make up. The make up artist deserves a standing ovation, honestly! But I am against not being REAL to one's partner. Let your man know 3/4 of your eye lashes don't exist and you always wear wig to cover some not so attractive spots on your head.

No woman has it all!

Every lady has some deficiency here and there.

Not all men wants women who go natural. Some sincerely desire some make up here and there.

Just let him know what is real and what is not.

That way you will both save each other some future headache, fainting and collapsing!

Above all, marry a man who loves you with or without make up. That way, you have nothing to lose in the long run!

He loves you for who you are not the powder on your face and wig on your head.

May you not miss your soul mate!

Thanks for reading. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele 2020.
Photo Credit: Facebook News feed.

THE IMPORTANCE OF WHO YOU MARRY

Sometime ago, a woman from Cameroon sent me a message here on Facebook and bitterly complained to me that her marriage was on the verge of breaking up.

I asked her what happened and she said that for the past 5 years that she has been married, she and her husband never seem to agree on anything, they argue and quarrel over everything, that there's no peace, and all that.

I asked her how she met the man and she said that she was recommended to the man when he was looking for a wife. So, I counseled her, told her one or two things to do, she thanked me and we ended the conversation.

Listen, the importance of who you marry can never be over emphasized.

✔️ Who you marry holds the key to marital success and fulfillment. Who you marry will determine if your marriage will be successful or not. The success of your marriage begins with who you marry.

✔️ Who you marry determines how your marriage is going to be. Some marriages are like war zones where people are fighting for survival.

✔️ Who you marry determines what your experience in marriage will be like. It will determine if your experience in marriage will be pleasant or hell.

✔️ Who you marry determines whether or not you will enjoy or endure marriage. Many are enduring marriage that was meant to be enjoyed, courtesy of who they marry.

✔️ Who you will determine if you will love long or die young, it's that serious. We have heard cases of husbands stabbing their wives to death and vice versa.

✔️ Who you marry is the person you will be handing over your life to, that's the person you will expose your strengths and weaknesses to, that's the person you will be vulnerable to and God help you that they're not one of these digital mammy waters that arrange special packages..

✔️ Who you marry determines whether or not the matters you will settle in marriage will be little or much. If you don't want to be recording new cases everyday in marriage, pay attention to who you marry.

✔️ Who you marry determines whether you enjoy peace in marriage or your life will be in pieces. Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.(Proverbs 21:19 NIV).

✔️ Who you marry will determine whether you make heaven or not. If you marry someone that doesn't give a damn about God, na God go help you. Do not be yoked together with unbelievers...(2 Corinthians 6:14 NIV)

✔️ Who you marry determines whether you fulfil your ministry or fail. Ask Adam, ask Samson. Marrying the right person can be a great asset to your ministry or a liability to the same.

Note: I didn't say any of these to frighten you about marriage but to help you understand the importance of who you marry. You don't need to be afraid, if you care to listen.

This is also more reason reason why you need to seek the face of God before venturing into relationship or get married. God is always there to lead and to direct but have to be His sheep first!(Prov 3:4-5; Jn 10:24)

Is there something I'm missing here, is there something I didn't add, let me know in the comment.

Thanks for reading and don't forget to marry right!

You will not miss it in marriage in Jesus name

Singles and Married Coach
© Okolie Samuel

WHO IS DOING THE CHASE???

If a man loves you, he loves you. If he doesn't love you, he doesn't.

Stop forcing yourself on a man. Stop forcing a relationship to work. Stop forcing him to notice or marry you, you are more than that! You are to be sought for and found. You carry so much virtues that a man needs to chase you, get you, propose to you and marry you not the other way round.

Be friendly ladies! Being friendly does not mean being cheap.

I was so so friendly when hubby came, and gbam! We struck a bond!

He chased hard, I responded to the chase then we both started chasing each other. That is order!

Don't break the order!

He searches for you, you are friendly, you respond, you become friends, you chase each other and courtship becomes fun!

Any relationship that is one sided wont last.

Both of you must like, love, need, chase and marry each other. That is courtship, that is marriage, that is loads and lots of fun!

May you not miss your soul mate.

Thanks for reading. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2019; reposted, 2020.

Your shame and delay is over. Very soon the Lord will prove to the world and there shall be evidence that YOU ARE HAPPILY AND GLORIOUSLY MARRIED. Your marital expectation will become a reality within the next 90 days in Jesus name.

I PROPHESY TO YOU, NO DEVIL WILL HINDER YOUR MARITAL BREAKTHROUGH AND TESTIMONY AGAIN.

God is opening wombs and sending babies to Mothers. None shall be barren among us. I see a divine visitation coming for you. I can see you carrying your beautiful babies and none of us will know the grave of our children in Jesus name.

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We have all heard tales of love gone sour. People who were confessing undying love to each other a few years ago, getting divorced over irreconcilable differences.

The truth is a lot of these couples never had the important conversations necessary for marriage while they were dating. That was why their differences showed up after marriage.

Having these get naked conversations will help you to know areas where you are in disagreement so that you can come to a compromise before getting married.

What if you get married only to have five girls or five boys?

What if she says she does not want to change her surname because of a brand she has built?

What if he wants you to resign your job so that you can focus on taking care of the children?

What if she gets a big and better opportunity in her career but she has to relocate to a new city?

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END THE CYCLE

If you come from a family of drunkards, let that cycle end with you. Let drunkeness never pass through you to the next generation.

If you come from a family of drop outs, no one gets to finish school or go to University; end that cycle and reach the highest level in study, prove that even your family tree can produce an intellectual.

If your relative's marriages never last, your parent's marriage was a disappointment; end that cycle, when you get married have a marriage built to last.

If you are a man and your father used to beat up your mother; end that cycle, be the opposite of your dad and love your wife like a real man should.

If you come from a tribal family where decisions are made through tribal lenses; end the cycle, show your family that love knows no tribe.

If the family you come from has been living in poverty; end that cycle, make money, lift your family to wealth.

If members of your family are largely known for mediocrity or shameful acts; end that cycle, be excellent and successful, bring pride to your family name.

If people from your family are known to be mean,cold and tempered; end that cycle, work on being friendly, warm and approachable.

If your family has been involved in witchcraft, suicide, curses and ungodliness; end that cycle, introduce God in your family tree, declare that as for me and my house we will serve the Lord!

You don't have to carry forward the shortcomings in your family down the lineage to the next generation. Love your family but learn from their mistakes. You don't have a say in determining the family you are born in to, but you can determine who you become and the kind of future and family you will have. Your decisions affect generations to come

© Dayan Masinde

I AM DUE FOR MARRIAGE

Stop saying I am due for marriage when the only thing due for marriage in you is your age.

I am now 27, I am 30 years old, you think that is all you need to be due for marriage, brother no, sister no.

Because Mike Bamiloye married at 25, Joshua Mike Bamiloye started his home at 27 and you are 30 already, you think you are overdue for marriage? My brother, age is not all it takes to be due for marriage.

"Daniel is my mate and he is happily married and even has a kid already," maybe Daniel is only your age mate and not your mate in other areas of life.

Spiritually, are you due for marriage? Indeed, your physical senses are due for marriage, but what of your spiritual senses?

Do you have sight spiritually (faith)? For we walk be faith not by sight.

How is your hearing spiritually? What are the channels of your communications spiritually?

How *consistent* are you in spiritual things? How many battles have you won spiritually?

I hope you are aware that the demon in charge of adultery and immorality does not fear physical stature but spiritual stature.

You are thirty and still battling consistently with the demon of pornography, how will you handle that cruel demon of adultery, that popular demon of divorce?

Your age will not help you to resist temptations when they come in your marriage but your spiritual stature. In fact, your physical age would make you lift your hands against your spouse in the face of anger but your spiritual age will lower those hands.

I am due for marriage, financially, are you due for marriage?
Shey you know that age doesn't put food on table wage does. How do you handle money? What are your priorities when it comes to spending money?

I am due for marriage, emotionally, are you due? How will you handle anxiety and stress in your marriage? I hope you are aware that aggression is transferable.

What happens at home after having a very bad day at work? Hope your wife or children will not drink from a cup of aggression?

Once again, stop saying, I am due for marriage if the only thing due for marriage in you is your age.

You need to be due physically, spiritually, financially, emotionally and intellectually for you to be due maritally.

Invest on every part of your life as you age physically. Add to your physical growth, spiritual growth, and to your spiritual growth, add emotional growth, and to your emotional growth, add financial growth and add to this also intellectual growth.

Stay Safe, Stay Blessed.
Keep Knowing, Keep Growing

Author Unknown

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