Best divorce letter

Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that
I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good
man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to
show for it. These last 2 weeks have been
hell. … Your boss called to tell me that
you quit your job today & that was the last
straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t
even notice I had a new haircut, had
cooked your favorite meal & even wore a
brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2
minutes, & went straight to sleep after
watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell
me you love me anymore; you don’t want
sex or anything that connects us as
husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on
me or you don’t love me anymore;
whatever the case, I’m gone.

Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I
are moving away to Mwanza
together! Have a great life!


Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more than
receiving your letter. It’s true you & I
have been married for 7 years, although a
good man is a far cry from what you’ve
been. I watch my soaps so much because
they drown out your constant whining &
griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID
notice when you got a haircut last week,
but the 1st thing that came to mind was
‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother
raised me not to say anything if you can’t
say something nice, I didn’t comment. And
when you cooked my favorite meal, you
must have gotten me confused with MY
SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7
years ago. About those new silk boxers: I
turned away from you because the $49.99
price tag was still on them, & I prayed it
was a coincidence that my sister had just
borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we
could work it out. So when I hit the lotto
for 10 million dollars, I quit my job &
bought us 2 tickets to Mombasa But when I
got home you were gone.. Everything
happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you
have the fulfilling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said that the letter you wrote
ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So
take care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this,
but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope
that’s not a problem.

haihuzunishi!

haichekeshi!

does this tell us to think before doing anything?

nani hasa aliyekua na kosa hapa?