Mbarikiwe Sanaaaaaa!
In 2012 one of my class mate married an armed robber. Jambazi jambazi kabisaa. The guy started small time kwenye white collar crimes, wizi huu wa makampuni kufoji, kuiba, ila sasa lazima uwe na kitengo ndo uibe hela nyingi of which katika maisha ikitokea ni once or twice in a life time. The guy progressed to full time robber. Jambazi kabisaaa. And i didnt see why she had to go through all that. Nili rule to ni IQ ndogo, i thought she was with him for the money, cause mjinga ana matusiiiii. Anaishi nyumba ya $2000, sports car, simnajua tena majizi yanavo splash. Akitoa oda ya nguo za mkewe kama ananikomoa, ananifanya niwaze kwanini na mimi nisitafute kajambazi kangu kanioe fastaaa. Utasikia kila aina mletee, asipopenda atampa dada, wewe leta tatizo si pesa. Na analipa $$ ooh siweki madafu yanashuka bei kila kukicha. Then the girl got this big post at a telecom giant, nikajua now she is financialy free ataamua otherwise. 5 years they are still going strong. Sikuwahi kuelewa untill now.
Then there was this other friend of mine, ambae alikuwa anatoka na hawa warabu wa kko. Wapemba si wapemba, warabu si warabu balaa tupu. Kijana tu hana issue yoyote. Amaishia form 4, hana kazi zaidi ya kushinda kwenye maduka ya Ammy wake. As a person he is very nice person, ila from economic perspective he was a total failure. Bi dada akawa anasema atapata pesa, atapata pesa and we were like WHEN?. Ila bi dada akawa very optmistic of which from my common sense sikuelewa. Baadae aka slim, wakaoana kabisaa akaenda kukaa kwenye nyumba ya familia ya huyo kaka. Humo humo mama mkwe. Humo humo wajengezi wenzio. Mnapewa chumba tu. Loooha. Sikuelewaga why. Ila baadae yule mpemba alikuja kupewa mtaji na Amy yake, pesa ndefu sanaa, na jitihada zake binafsi sahivi ana maduka kama ma 3 ya spear kariakoo. Yao wao sio ya uncle. Kumbe ndo maana alikuwa anajiamini bi dada. Bi dada yuko duka moja anasimamia, maisha yamebadilikaaa kabisaa. Wananifaa na mumewe kunibebea MCO za bure na wapemba wengine wanaofata spear. Bora hata sikusemaga semaga back then.
Mwingine anatoka na usalama wa taifa, mme wa mtu. The girls father nae ni retired national secury boss. The man like has 3 kids na mkewe. Mkewe anamjua bi dada. Atleast mkewe sio msomi, ni mama wa nyumbani tu. Ila bi dada ni boss mkubwa tu, she has everything. Wasomi kibao ma boss boss hawa, na average joes wanataka kumuoa kila leo ila, kakomaa na yule mme wa mtu hakuna mfano. Mpaka katambulishwa kwa wakwe wa yule mme wa mtu. Vitu vya ajabu sanaa. Anavotaka kumzalia huyo kaka sasa. Sema mkewe sijui ana loga sanaaa, kila akibeba mimba inaharibika, despite kwenda hospita kubwa akama China na South. Wanamwambia this time hamna complications, chezea mzaramo wewe, siku ya siku kitu holaaaa. I never understood why she had to go through that odil until now.
Untill i met this guy huko nchi za watu. Mi simjui ila yeye ananijua kwa jina. Sasa mimi nikashangaa kanijuajeee, nchi ingine, nikasema labda Insta, au shule sikujali sanaaa. Tukawa tinaonana onana mara nyingi tu, tunapeana Hi. Namuuliza unafanya biashara gani, hasemiiii clearly. Nikajua wale wale wanaotafutwa na Daudi Bashite. Basi japo nina tamaa ya pesa mimi hamjapata kuonaaaa, watu wa karibu yangu wanasema wewe Lara kwenye hela huna dini, wala kabilaaa, unakuwaga jasiriii la majasiriii, hata hela iwe ya moto vipi utailaaa. Hela ikikushinda wewe ujue hailiki. Ujasiri wangu mda mwingine unanitisha mpaka mwenyewe, nawaza hivi mipango isingeenda inavotakiwa si ningekiwa pabaya. Jasiri mpaka najiogopa. Ila hawa watu wa Daudi Bashite nimewanawia mikonooo, sababu hawakawii kukuibia passport wakaiuza kwa wanaigeria, au pesa, na sisi tunaye,bea na cash kubwa kwenye mikoba tu. Ni hatari sanaa. Au akakuwekea kwenye bag ukafungwaaa, na uzee huu nile ndoo 25 au 30 si nimekwishaaa.
Nikawa nimesha make decision namuewekea ukuta huoo ule anaotaka kuujenga Donald Trump mpakani na Mexico cha mtoto. Na kweli tukikutanaa mambo poa, upo, nipo kila mtu na njia zake. Basi anajitahidi kumake advances umefikia hotel gani, room namba, sijui nini nampoteza maboyaaa tu. Basi ana lalamika why are you treating me this way, you dont know me, you dont want even to give me a chance mambo kibaooo. Jioni hii kulostishana huko veeepeeee.
Sasa siku nikawa na shida ya helaaa balaaa. Hahahaaa. Usidhubutu kukutwa na bwana pepsi. Kuna mzigo nilitoa oda, hela nisichanganye nikawa nimeiacha bank. Nimeshamaliza kila kitu. Cash yote imeishaa. Mzigo ndo umeletwa hotelini toka shamba, nilipe. Hehehee. Kwenda ATM hela hakunaaa. Kama 3 zote amna. Siku utayotembea uchi ndo unakutana na mkweo. Nani atanipa hela nchi ya watu. Hapo mchina anataka balance yake. Na kuna mwanga wa Arusha nae anakomaa oda iliokuja ni yake, sijui alioda mapema, sijui nini. Yaani anangoja ni default achukue mzigo. Na oda ni 2 weeks unasubiria, mi kesho kutwa natakiwa kuondoka. Mcina kila saa ananipigia, pay balance au niuuze kama huna hio balance. Nampigia mama anitumie western union fastaaa anasema yuko safarini anaenda ku audit wilayani mpaka kesho. Watu wote bongo wanasema hela itapatikana ila niwape mda wazikusanye labda kesho, papo hapo haiwezekani. Chupi ilinibanaaa sio kidogo. Nikasema yule Punda atakuwa ana hela ngoja nimjaribuu.
Nikamuanza kwa ukarimuuu, dear una Rmb kiasi flani, niazime nimtoe mchina, nitakutolea bank kesho. Akasema uko wapi, nikamuelekeza, akaja akamlipa Mchina, mchina akaondoka zake. Basi hapo nacheka cheka kama malaya wa bar, hahahaa! Shida haina adabu. Mi nakwambia kwa pesa sisi wanawake unaweza jikuta umelala na duduvule. Hahahaaaa. Sio mazuri mjue ya kuchekaaa. Mwanaume akitoa pesa yake kama kanunua roho yako na nafsi zote in a package. Na usidhubutu kujitia mkali utaitapika ile pesaa, hahahaaa. Usiku hataki kuondoka hotelini kwangu, pesa yake ile aliotoa. Nikamwambia lala hamna neno. Mkumbuke mimi kubwa la maadui.
Yupo humo humo, nimeingia bafuni nimeloki, nimetoka kuoga nimevaaa. Anataka kuleta ujanja wa kizamani kuetengeneza mazingira ya mechi. Baridi kali sanaa, kitanda kina heater na yeye ndo kajilaza, mi nimekomaa na kiti, alivo gaidi anasema njoo ulale we utakufaaa. Nakomaa na locus Macau inanesha muvi za 1990 zingine nilizona secondary. Nikawaza kwani sh. ngapi initese hivooo. Nikaenda kulala kitandani. Baridi kali sanaaa.
Oooooh! Ikabakia story. Moyoni nikasema ndo ushajilipa deni lako. Asubuhi nikawa nangoja agusie deni lake, nilikuwa namngoja kwa hamu sanaa. Hakudai mpaka kesho. Na mimi sikulipa hata mia. Kesho akaja tena, sasa ndugu wasomaji baridi la kule sio mchezooo nikapitiwa na shetani, japo baadae roho ikaniumaa sanaa, kuliwa kizembe, ikabidi nimwambie hela imeniishia kuna kitu sijanunua. Akauliza bei gani, nikaropoka tu akatoa pesa ile yote. Ikawa ndo utaratibu wetu. Tatizo mzuriiii, na mimi kuhongwa hongwaaa na wanaume ndo uganjwa wanguuuu mkubwaaa.
Ukitaka alale usingizi muulize anafanya issue gani za kuja China na Bongo. Atajifanya kaishia usingizini. Nimempeleleza wapiiii. Haniambiiii. Nikaenda kwa uncle kumuonesha insta yake nikamwambia niulizie kama huyu mtu punda, na punda wa nani. Uncle nae hasemi mambo ya kueleweka. Mara sijajua, nimeshindwa kumpata, labda sio. Kwa common sense yangu atakuwa mshikaji wake uncle, au uncle anahisi mimi tea, Bashite akiniambia atakuwa anamchoma.
Ukiacha hii kazi yake hii isio eleweka, ni mtu safi sanaaa. Anajali, mambo anayaweza, alafu hana mambo mengi. Safari zake tu ndo unclear, ila akiwepo bongo akikwambia niko shemi flani, ujue yupo. Simu anaiacha hapo juu. Uhuni sio mhuni, mimi mwenyewe nimeacha uhuni, sababu ananibanaa sanaa. Mda wote, uko wapi anakuja. Na pesa sio mchoyo kabisaa, siui sababu anaipata kirahisi. Ukimjaribu kitu anakupaaa, hata kama hana uwezo nacho atajikakamua akufurahishe. Mara kibao ananitambulisha kwa wahuni wahuni tu wa mjini hapa, akigeuka kidogo tu, lazima yule nilietambulishwa aniulize wewe huyu mtu umemjulia wapi.? Nauliza kwani sitakiwi kumjua kwanini? Baadae wanabadili maneno, unaona kabisa kuna jambo wanafumba fumbaaa. Au wanauliza kwanini unatoka na huyu mtu. Haaaaa! Kwanini nisitoke nae kwani ana nini? Wanaanza kujiuma uma tu hamna kitu. Nae lazima aulize alikwambia nini? Na,wambia hamna aliniuliza tu nafanya nini. Basi.
Kiukweli nilitegema ule ugonjwa wangu wa kuchoka watu unisaidie nimchoke, ila simchokiiii kabisaaa. Na inabidi niachane nae, cause my mom wont handle it kikinikuta chochote. Mdogo wangu alifariki siku nyingi, na maza has never gotten past it. Nikikutwa na matatizo she wont be able. Siku hizi siwezi hata kumuangalia usoni. Kumuacha huyu mtu siweziii. Kuna shoga yuko yuko London nawaza sijui ni apply PHD nikajifiche kwanza kule. Maana kumuacha ni ngumu hajanifanya chochote, nikizua ugomvi anaomba yeye msamaha. Hata ugonjwa wangu wa kuchoka watu umedunda kwake.
Haya mambo ya bad boys, kuingia rahisi, kutoka sio rahisi. Watu wengi walitabiri mwisho wangu utakuwa mbaya nimeanza kuona dalili. Hahahaaa. Nacheka kama mazuri.