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Wanawake na kaburi la mapema....

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mtambuzi, Dec 23, 2011.

  1. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Hivi karibuni nimesoma utafiti katika makabrasha yangu kuhusiana na maradhi mbalimbali yanayowakabili wanawake walioko kwenye ndoa au uhusiano wenye mashaka. Tafiti zinaonyesha kwamba, wanawake wote ambao wana mashaka na wasiwasi kuhusu usalama wa ndoa zao, wasiowaamini waume zao, kwa kawaida, wanakuwa na kinga dhaifu sana dhidi ya maradhi. Haiyumkini hata wale wanawake waliosemwa kuwa wamekufa kwa ukimwi huku waume zao wakiendelea kudunda na maisha na pengine hata kuoa na kuzaa kama kawaida, wake hao walipoteza maisha kutokana na sababu hii.

    Mtafiti mmoja Angelo Picardi wa Italia anasema, amethibitisha kuhusu hilo kwa kuwakagua wanawake wapatao 61. Kumbuka kwenye miili yetu kuna seli ambazo kimaumbile kazi yake ni kupambana na maradhi. Kwa wale wanawake wanaoishi kwenye ndoa za mashaka, ambapo hawawaamini waume zao na huku wakihofia kupoteza ndoa zao, mfumo wao wa seli hizo za kinga ni dhaifu, ukilinganisha na wanawake ambao hawana wasiwasi na ndoa zao huvunjika au kuachwa na waume zao.

    Maana yake ni nini? Ni kwamba, wanawake ambao wana hofu kwamba, waume zao wanaweza kuwaacha na hivyo kuhisi kutishika na wale ambao wana wivu kwa sababu hawajiamini, hushikwa na maradhi kirahisi sana. Ni rahisi kwao kuwa nyondenyonde kwa sababu mfumo wa kinga katika miili yao umezorota sana. Kuna maradhi ya utegemezi wa kihisia (co-dependence) ambayo ni maradhi ya kiakili, yanayomfanya mtu kuamini kwamba, bila mwingine kuwepo au kuwa karibu naye, hawezi kuishi. Kwa hali hiyo, siwezi kuwalaumu hawa. Lakini napenda kuwaambia kwamba, wanaumwa. Nadhani siyo vibaya kumkumbusha mtu kwamba, tatizo alilonalo ni maradhi, ili atafute tiba.

    Bahati mbaya kuumwa kwao huko, huwaletea maradhi mengine, mengi sana kwa sababu ya kushuka kwa kinga ya mwili kama nilivyobainisha hapo awali. Ninavyojua ni kwamba, mtu akiwa na wasiwasi na hofu za kila wakati huharibu kinga na mwili wake kila siku unakuwa kwenye maradhi yasiyoisha. Idadi kubwa ya wanawake wenye shinikizo la damu au hata kisukari, ukichunguza utakuta chanzo cha maradhi hayo ni madhila ya ndoa. Kwenye ukoo hawana historia ya maradhi hayo na staili za maisha yao haziwaweki kwenye uwezekano wa kuyapata, lakini wasiwasi na mashaka ya ndoa, ndiyo chanzo.

    Wakati mwingine, mume anaweza kuwa anamwambia mkewe karibu kila siku, ‘nitakuacha mimi' au ‘nitakurudisha kwenu ukiniletea ujinga.' Mke huogopa na huanza kujiona akiwa hana usalama tena, kwani akicheza atarudishwa kwao. Naye anaamini kurudishwa kwao ni jambo baya kuliko yote maishani. Hebu nikuulize wewe mwanamke. Hivi ni kitu gani kinachokupa hofu kwamba, mumeo atakuacha na kwenda kuchukua mwanamke mwingine? Lakini hata kama akifanya hivyo, hebu niambie, ina maana ni kweli unaamini hutaweza kuishi? Jaribu kufikiri tena upya, kwa sababu kama unaamini hivyo unajidanganya.Kumbuka mwanaume huyo anaweza kufa, kama ambavyo wewe unaweza kufa. Hebu fikiria kwamba, mumeo amekufa, ina maana nawe utaona kuishi hakuna maana? Kama ni hivyo, unaumwa, tena unaumwa sana.

    Unaweza kukuta mwanamke ana ajira yake au ni mjasiriamali aliyesimama kimtaji, na ni yeye mwenye kuilisha familia, lakini anaamini hawezi kuishi bila mumewe. Huu ndio unaitwa utegemezi wa kihisia, sio wa kifedha au kitu kingine.
    Wataalamu wanasema, kati ya vifo kumi vya wanawake ambavyo vinatokana na maradhi yasababishwayo na mateso ya ndoa, vitano vinatoka kwenye utegemezi wa kihisia. Mwanamke anaumwa, analazwa hospitalini hadi anatoka, mume hana habari. Lakini, akitoka yeye ndiye mwenye kuhalalisha mumewe kutoenda kumwona wakati alipokuwa anaumwa. ‘Najua ulikuwa na shughuli nyingi, wala usijali mume wangu, mradi nimeshapona.' Atamwambia mumewe kwa unyenyekevu.Haya ni maradhi mabaya sana na yanahitaji tiba ya haraka kuliko hata Malaria Sugu.

    Hebu gongeni hapa chini:http://www.theprisma.co.uk/2011/03/28/love-a-matter-of-chemistry/
     
  2. Fidel80

    Fidel80 JF-Expert Member

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    Kumbe wa kwenye ndoa aaah ngoja nipite
     
  3. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    thank god nimezaliwa mwanaume
     
  4. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Nimesema pia walio kwenye uhusiano.............Hata wewe umo!
     
  5. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Geuza upande wa pili wa shillingi uone kunani.............!
    Kinachotutofautisha na wao ni uwiano tu, lakini hata sisi hatujasalimika mkuu................
     
  6. Fidel80

    Fidel80 JF-Expert Member

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    Uhusiano? Hapa unanichanganya sasa mi bado kuanzisha uhusiano nafanya hit and run
     
  7. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

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    Ukweli 10000000000%
     
  8. Doyi

    Doyi JF-Expert Member

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    Dec 23, 2011
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    Duh job true true!!
     
  9. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Nawe unalo kaburi lako la mapema.......LOL
     
  10. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Hongera.... maana utafiti mwingine wadai watu wa namna hii hutumia saana ndom.... Sijui kweli?
     
  11. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Mtambuzi hii post yako imejikamilisha mno... Hata kuongeza kitu inakua ngumu, Most ya uloeleza nakubaliana nayo kua ni kweli. Thou as time goes on type ya wanawake wa namna hio inapungua katika jamii... Mabinti wengie wameanza kutojali saana ndoa zao.... Sad. Or should I say Lucky them kwa kujitambua sasa....
     
  12. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

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    pole kwa mafuriko.....

    :focus:

    hivi kwani kuishi kwenye hizo ndoa za mashaka ni lazima? kama mapenzi yameisha si basi?
    kwa nini uishi kwa hofu? hata ukiachwa utakua wa kwanza?
    siku zote mapenzi ni furaha (ingawa misuguano na mitihani ya "kiasi" ruksa kuwepo) lakini penzi linapoisha hisia zikiondoka nini kinakukataza kutafuta ustaarabu wako? wanawake watasingizia watoto...
    ndo upigwe, utishiwe kuachwa wengine waletewe nyumba ndogo kisa?
    ndoa haya sasa mtambuzi anasema wanajichongea kifo? loh
     
  13. Bridger

    Bridger Content Manager Staff Member

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    Dec 23, 2011
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    Duh hii kweli jamani. Huu utegemezi wa hisia huu balaa
     
  14. Cantalisia

    Cantalisia JF-Expert Member

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    Hii taasisi ya ndoa hii pasua kichwa sn!mie bado nipo nipo kwanza!sitaki stress bora kuwa single maisha yote nikiwa happy!
     
  15. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Ahsante, kwa bahati nzuri sikuathirika saana na mafuriko hayo kama ningeathirika kama majirani zangu, basi ningekuja hapa kuomba misaada ya nguo na vyakula.....................LOL

    :focus:
    Uliyoyasema yana ukweli kabisa, kuna baadhi ya wanawake huziona ndoa zao kama ndio maisha yenyewe, kwamba kama zikiwaponyoka basi na wao watakuwa kwishnei....................... Nakushukuru kwa kuweka huo mchanganuo
     
  16. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Hata hivyo si haba, umeongeza kitu..........LOL Nakushukuru kwa mchango wako.

    pamoja daima
     
  17. obsesd

    obsesd JF-Expert Member

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    Dec 23, 2011
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    mmh kweli yan wanawake weeengi dunian wanasuffer kwa strees n depression had huruma yan
    ila mmh title yako kali niliogopa mmh.
     
  18. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Unajidanganya, mh! wakati unawaza hayo ya kutaka kuwa single, mie huku nimekutegesha kama mtaji, pale atakapojitokeza muwindaji, nijitwalie yangu mahari ili nisogeze siku zangu za kuishi hapa duniani.................... Aliyekudanganya kwamba una mamlaka na huo mwili wako ni nani!? Nikuzae, nikulee, nikusomeshe, halafu leo ujitie kibri! Thubutuuuu............... Nitahakikisha hata Ndoa ya mkeka nakuchapa nayo, ili nichukue changu mapema.........LOL
     
  19. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

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    Dec 23, 2011
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    loh afadhali madhara hayakuwa makubwa...........

    kama ulivyosema ni utegemezi wa hisia, ila pia kuna uoga wa kujitegemea, baadhi ya wanawake hata wawe na kazi nzuri, mishahara mizuri bado wanaogopa kujitegemea anahisi hatoweza kumudu gharama za maisha peke yake hivyo huwakuta wakivumilia matusi, kuna wanaume wanabaka hadi ndugu za mke lakini mke hachukui hatua, anaogopa mume akimuacha hataweza leo/tunza familia, ingawa unaweza kukuta huyo mumewe hachangii hata sukari....
     
  20. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Ngoja nikupe kisa kimoja:
    Kuna mfalme alihitaji mtabiri wa kumtabiria maisha yake, akaletwa mtabiri aliyesifika sana kwa tabiri zake zenye kulenga hasa..........Yule mtabiri akamwambia kwa mujibu wa nyota yake, inaonekana kuwa watoto wake wote na wake zake watakufa na kumwacha peke yake............. yule Mfalme akataharuki na kuamuru yule Mtabiri akatwe kichwa.................

    Akaletwa Mtabiri wa pili, yeye akatabiri kwa kumwambia kwamba, kutokana na nyota yake, inaonekana atakuwa na umri mrefu kuliko watoto wake na wake zake........... Mfalme akafurahi sana akaagiza yule mtabiri apewe Fedha na Dhahabu nyingi sana kwa utabiri wake uliotukuka......................
    Je tofauti ya mtabiri wa kwanza na huyu wa pili iko wapi?

    Ukipata jibu, basi utagundua kwamba hata Heading yangu haikuwa na kasoro, bali tafsiri yako ilikuelekeza vibaya.............
     
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