Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

Ushauri please passion imekufa

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Bint, Jun 10, 2009.

  1. B

    Bint Member

    #1
    Jun 10, 2009
    Joined: Jul 24, 2008
    Messages: 26
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 0
    Nipo kwenye ndoa kwa miaka miwili sana na tuna mtoto mmoja mdogo. Tangu mwanzo wa ndoa yetu mume wangu amekuwa kama boss vile. Nilipata mimba mara tu baada ya kuolewa na mimba ilikuwa inanichosha sana maana ni mfanyakazi wa kuajiriwa.

    Mume wangu mara nyingi alikuwa anatoka kazini kabla yangu na nikirudi namkuta amepumzika na mimi ndio naanza na mambo ya jikoni, tatizo ikifika tu saa moja na chakula hakijawa tayari anaanza kulalamika na kusema hajazoea kuchelewa kula, analalaamaa wee wakati nimefika nyumbani saa 12 kasoro na hakuwa tayari kusaidia lolote. Nikimuomba anisaidie anakuwa mkali na kusema yani unataka mimi niingie jikoni? kwa ukali! Ukichelewa tu kufua nguo zikawa nyingi kwenye tenga basi ni maneno meengi, mimba ikisumbua nikiwa sijisikii vizuri anasema najifanyisha kuumwa basi ikawa taabu tu.

    Nikawa najitahidi sana kufanya majukumu yangu kama mke na kweli mambo ya chumbani yalikuwa si haba, ila kutokana na malalamishi yake na kutokuwa tayari kunisaidia taratibu nikawa nakosa hamu naye maana kila ninachofanya yeye alikuwa anatafuta kasoro. Tukiwa tunaenda mahali nikichelewa kujiandaa basi ni kugombezwa na kulalamikiwa. Mara nyingine ukiweka chakula mezani anakiangalia na kusema kwa ukali kuwa kwanini umepika chakula hiki tena mbele za watu tunaoishi nao wakati ukimuuliza nikupikie nini anasema chochote.

    Siku nyingine nikiwa nataka kusoma kwanza kabla ya kulala namwambia nitaenda kulala baada ya masaa mawili nasoma kwanza mambo fulani basi anakuwa mkali kuwa mimi simuheshimu. Nimejitahidi kupuuzia maneno na matendo yake ili niweze kuwa na hisia kama mwanzo ila imeshindikana. Akisafiri najisikia huru sana maana akiwepo hata kuangalia tamthilia tu inakuw atabu. Najiona kama chombo tu cha kumfurahisha.

    Moyo umekuwa mzito sana, nimebadilika na kuwa mwenye huzuni mara zote, na mwenye hasira zisizo na sababu hasa kwa dada wa kazi hadi naogopa sasa. Mume wangu nahisi amegundua hilo na anajaribu kujirudi ila kwa kweli moyo umekuw mzito sana, sex siku hizi imekuwa kutimiza wajibu na sijisikii tena furaha maana kila mara maneno yake ya kuumiza na vitendo vyake vinazunguka kny akili yangu. Niishie hapa maana siwezi andika vyote.
    Nahitaji ushauri wenu wana jamii, natamani kusahau haya yote na kuanza upya.
     
  2. Killuminati

    Killuminati JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jun 10, 2009
    Joined: Apr 24, 2007
    Messages: 317
    Likes Received: 5
    Trophy Points: 33
    Pole sista, sijui bongo tuna marriage counselling au la! Nadhani ingewasaidia sana lakini kwa kifupi ni kuwa kati yenu kuna Communication breakdown tena kuubwa tu. Wacheki wazee wawasaidie nadhani ndo counselling yetu waafrika. Usiache tatizo likawa kubwa na kisha jamaa kuvuka mpaka, you'll feel like a prisoner in your own house.

    Wacheki wazee na mtatue pamoja naye na si peke yako na at least jamaa ameanza kuona mabadiliko yako kuwa unaathirika, thats a good sign, komaa ila usimpeleke kwa staili ya kumshtaki just omba ushauri wao.

    Good Luck.
     
  3. D

    Dina JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jun 10, 2009
    Joined: Sep 18, 2008
    Messages: 2,743
    Likes Received: 61
    Trophy Points: 145
    Nakubaliana na wazo lako mkuu, ila nina mtazamo tofauti kidogo. Kwa nini wasikalishane wenyewe kwanza, mdada akatoa dukuduku lake kwa mumewe, wakayaongea at their level kabla ya kuwashirikisha 'mapilato'? Manake huwa napata taabu sana kumshirikisha mtu wa tatu kwenye masuala ya ndoa, ukute kitu chenyewe kingeweza kumalizwa na wanandoa wenyewe.
     
  4. Killuminati

    Killuminati JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jun 10, 2009
    Joined: Apr 24, 2007
    Messages: 317
    Likes Received: 5
    Trophy Points: 33
    Maybe, lakini bint kalalamika kuwa jamaa haelewi na akiambiwa anasema kuwa anakosewa heshima kwa vitu hata vidogo tu anyway atachuja mwenyewe kutokana na ushauri wetu lakini on the other hand ili kumuonyesha mshkaji kuwa Bint yuko serious ni kulivalia hili suala njuga asubuhi asubuhi.Mimi wifey huwa hanirembei yaani fasta tu nakuta hint kwa wazee nawaweka sawa ila ujumbe unakuwa umenifikia na nikirudi naye home nammaindi lakini mwishowe inabidi niwe mpole na sasa bifu zetu huwa tunajitahidi kuzisolve wenyewe.

    I hope I'm not confusing her in anyway.

    Killuminati.
     
  5. B

    Bint Member

    #5
    Jun 10, 2009
    Joined: Jul 24, 2008
    Messages: 26
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 0
    Nasukuru kwa ushahuri huo, dada dina tulikalishana mara ya mwanzo na mume wangu alikuwa haamini kama hisia zinaweza kufa kutokana na matendo yake na akasisitiza kuwa simpendi na simuheshimu, mara ya mwisho tumekalishana na akakubali nusu nusu kuwa amesababisha mimi kuwa 'cold' ila haonyeshi mabadiliko yoyote na najitahidi kusahau na kusonga mbele nashindwa. Siku hizi hata nikikaa naye sina cha kuongea kabisaaa
     
  6. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jun 10, 2009
    Joined: May 30, 2008
    Messages: 5,467
    Likes Received: 44
    Trophy Points: 0
    Kiluminati,
    Ushauri wako ni murua kabisa..ila si unajua tena watu wengi wanaamini mambo ya mke na mume yanatakiwa kushughulikiwa bila kumwingiza mtu wa tatu hata kama ni ndugu - mzazi etc.The moment unapoingiza mtu wa tatu, inatafsirika kuwa umeshtaki.... unaweza kumshauri ni style ipi atumie kushirikisha ndugu ili wapate counselling.Sioni ni vipi, kwa mfano huyu Bint atawaendea kwa ushauri bila kuwapa background ya tatizo... na hii nayo itaonekana ni kushtaki.
     
  7. S

    Stephano Member

    #7
    Jun 10, 2009
    Joined: Dec 30, 2008
    Messages: 27
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 0
    wakati mwingine wanaume wanaelewa kwa vitendo zaidi. mueleze kuwa maneno yako yamekuumiza na kwamba kwa sasa haujisikii tena na hivyo unaomba akupe muda. na umaanishe kwa kutopretend kwenye kajambos. kama anakupenda na anania na wewe atajirekebisha
     
  8. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jun 10, 2009
    Joined: May 30, 2008
    Messages: 5,467
    Likes Received: 44
    Trophy Points: 0
    Bint,
    Pole sana mdogo wangu.Huku ndio kuolewa.Kuolewa kuna vimbwanga vyake... Kuna mtu anaoa kama namna ya kupata huduma zote under one roof tena kwa kiwango anachokitaka yeye.Na mara nyingi watu kama hawa ukishawashtukia, unatakiwa u raise red flag mapema sana... kwa kumwambia firmly but kwa upole kuwa ulikubali kuolewa naye kwa sababu ya upendo na unatamani upendo huo uendelee kudumu.Utadumu tu kama kuna maelewano mazuri.Maelewano hayo yatakuja kwa kuchukuliana kwa upole na kusaidiana hasa wakati huu ambapo u mjamzito.Ajue pia kuwa ujauzito japo watu hufikiria sio ugonjwa, ni zaidi ya ugonjwa.

    Hivi, huyo Mumeo hakupata mafundisho yoyote kabla ya kuoa - yawe ya kimila au kidini? Maana kama angepata huenda asingekuwa na visa mara moja hii wakati ndoa bado changa sana.Hicho anachofanya, nisingeshangaa kama angekifanya miaka 5 baada ya kuoana, na wewe pia kwa kiasi ungekuwa umeshakomaa katika maisha ya ndoa.
     
  9. Ndahani

    Ndahani JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jun 10, 2009
    Joined: Jun 3, 2008
    Messages: 11,570
    Likes Received: 152
    Trophy Points: 160
    Just Stand firm in what you believe.There are many ways to learn about who we are when it comes to relationships. I dont think meetings with outsiders make huge difference if the the two of you do not want to open his eyes to discover about who you are.Ndoa ina mambo mengi na busara ni kitu muhimu ili kufika salama huko mliko kusudia.Mbaarikiwe!
     
  10. Wayne

    Wayne JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jun 10, 2009
    Joined: May 27, 2009
    Messages: 663
    Likes Received: 4
    Trophy Points: 35
    Namna ya kushirikisha mtu wa tatu ni pale mshirikishwaji anamkaribisha nyumbani na atakaa hapo zaidi ya siku moja then huyo mshirikiswaji ataibua hilo "suala" as if ni observation yake kwa stay yake pale.

    Hizo ni mbinu au busara zilizokuwa zinatumika enzi za Mwalimu.

    Believe me,IT WORKS.
     
  11. Raia Fulani

    Raia Fulani JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jun 10, 2009
    Joined: Mar 12, 2009
    Messages: 10,227
    Likes Received: 67
    Trophy Points: 145
    mara nyingi ukiona mambo yanafika hapo basi ujue mapenzi yanafikia ukingoni. wapenzi wakishaanza kutoana kasoro, kile kilichwavuta pamoja kimepotea (aidha kabisa au kwa juhudi kitarudi). mkae na ishu hapo ni communication break down na huyo asiyemtaka mwenziye anakuwa mzito kusema jakamoyo lake so anabaki kugomba. ewe mama, have a change of scene. mtoke pamoja na umbembeleze mahabuba wako indirectly akuambie ni nini hasa kimepelea ktk mahusiano yenu.
     
  12. Sipo

    Sipo JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jun 10, 2009
    Joined: Jul 25, 2008
    Messages: 2,155
    Likes Received: 2
    Trophy Points: 0
    HUYU MWANAMUME NI MMAASAI AU MKURYA?

    ushauri wangu kaa naye chini muuongee na ikibidi washirikishe wasimamizi wenu wa ndoa
     
  13. B

    Babuyao JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Jun 10, 2009
    Joined: Jun 6, 2009
    Messages: 1,729
    Likes Received: 23
    Trophy Points: 135
    Dada pole sana. Mi nakushauri ukae uongee na mumeo kinagaubaga juu ya uhusiano wenu. Jarubu kumweleza kwa upole na upendo juu ya feelings zako. Usifiche kitu. Usikie atasemaje! Mweleze unachotarajia kutoka kwake, na jinsi ambavyo moyo wako umesinyaa. Unajua siyo wanaume wote wanajua Saikolojia ya kina mama. Wewe ndiyo mwenye kufundisha ili aweze kuwajua kina mama. Huyo jamaa inaonekana hajui kitu.
    Unaposema umekosa hamu ya tendo la ndoa nakuelewa kwani kina mama kwao sex ni ujumla wa maisha yote. Anaifurahia anapokuwa katika amani, furaha, na mahusiano mema. Bila hilo hata hicho kitu hakina ladha. Mumeo ndiye anayepaswa kuladhisha. Lakini anahitaji kuelekezwa, kufundishwa juu ya umuhimu wa mahusiano mema.
     
  14. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Jun 10, 2009
    Joined: Feb 11, 2007
    Messages: 50,118
    Likes Received: 9,818
    Trophy Points: 280
    Pole sana chukua mawazo unayopewa hapa na kuyafanyia kazi. Usikubali kukaa kimya bila kufanya chochote ili hali unaishi maisha kama uko motoni. Tunakuomba urudi tena ili kutufahamisha kma kuna ahueni yoyote baada ya kuyafanyia kazi mapendekezo mbali mbali utakayopewa hapa. Kila la heri katika ndoa yenu, miaka miwili ni michache mno kuanza kuwa na matatizo makubwa kiasi hicho. Miaka miwili ya ndoa, wanandoa wengi huwa bado wako kwenye honeymoon.
     
Loading...