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Understanding Monogamy And Placing It In Context

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mlachake, May 31, 2011.

  1. Mlachake

    Mlachake JF-Expert Member

    #1
    May 31, 2011
    Joined: Oct 13, 2009
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    Unfortunate that I have to start off this way, but if you do not intend to take some time to reflect on what I will write then I will appreciate if you do not respond or pretend to respond to it. I'll not complain if you stopped reading at this very point. I appreciate that you value your time just as much as I will be hoping you appreciate mine.

    1. Monogamy is a social construct that is dependent on time and culture. Different societies (and different religions) have practiced different social constructs over time. Africa for example largely practiced polgyny (marrying many wives) before colonialism heavily influenced a change to monogamy, while the chinese and Indians practiced polyandry (marrying many husbands) and some muslims still practice polygyny.

    2. I am not going to argue that any is better than the other. Which in effect means I am not going to try and argue that monogamy is intrinsically bad. In fact I can't. Monogamy is good to those who can handle it. Crucial question here, don't answer me, just be honest to yourself as it will be crucial to point number 3. How many people are truly monogomous?

    3. I prefer to think that monogamy is an unrealistic (stressing unrealistic and NOT bad) model for the vast majority of humans. If divorce rates and statistics of cheating couples not to mention a casual glance at life around you are anything to go by. It seems not to work for the majority of those who try it.

    4. Are there other models that could be tried if monogamy is just not working for you? Yes.

    5. Polyamory is the practice of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. I feel it is a model that could eliminate a lot of stress and make life feel more open ended and less like a trap.

    6. Polyamory too has its faults. High up that list is STDs certainly, though they could be controlled largely. Pregnancy is avoidable. The model too may not be naturally conduitive to childbearing though that's not to say that two members of the said group could not agree to raise a child together but still belong to the group.

    7. In keeping in check with point 2, I am going to conclude in an inclusive tone. Monogamy, polyamoury, neither is intrinsically good nor intrinsically bad. Both have their end consequences. Choose wisely.
     
  2. Mentor

    Mentor JF-Expert Member

    #2
    May 31, 2011
    Joined: Oct 14, 2008
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    I applaud you for such a nice commentary on human relationships. It shows you have sat down, looked at society and searched within yourself and have seen how hard it is to be faithful in a relationship...I agree with you! It really is tough, especially, looking at our society today where everyone seems to think wrong is right and right is wrong.

    I applaud you for your conclusion (which doesn't force) that rather states your stand/view of how we should treat our relationships. I applaud you even more, because you did not just mention its high-ups but also the pitfalls behind such a take.

    However, I beg to bring to your attention one more solution to the problem of infidelity we face. It is something you might have heard before. It is someone, you may not (based on your discussion) have had a relationship with.

    I present to you JESUS CHRIST...one who will enable you to be faithful in your relationships. Through Him, what seemed impossible (being faithful to your partner) will become the easiest thing to do. He will teach you what love is. He will teach you what perseverance and endurance is. Do not give in to the trap of the devil trying to make you believe that YOU-MLACHAKE are so weak that you can not be faithful to your partner. It is the devil making you feel so low in such a good way! He makes you feel (and actually acknowledge it with your own mouth) unable to stand your ground! What a liar he is..and what a fool you will be to accept what he suggests to you..
    ***Oh, and He has a helper, the HOLY SPIRIT, who will walk with you through those hard times and temptations..when you think you can't take it no more, when you feel like you can't be faithful, when you feel lonely and you just need to spoil some ladies' life in the name of polyamory...HE will walk with you, to remind you, warn you and teach you...!
    Accept JESUS today, you will tell me the difference...will be waiting for the feedback!
    Ubarikiwe.​
     
  3. Mlachake

    Mlachake JF-Expert Member

    #3
    May 31, 2011
    Joined: Oct 13, 2009
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    Mwenye masikio na asikie!
    This is so touching Mkuu! I will be coming back to you later!
    Asante sana Jombaaa.
     
  4. Mentor

    Mentor JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jun 1, 2011
    Joined: Oct 14, 2008
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    Natamani kungekuwa na poke kama ile ya facebook...mbona hujarudi!??lol
     
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