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Thank you all for choosing Air-Tanzania - ATCL!!

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by bornagain, Jul 20, 2012.

  1. bornagain

    bornagain JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jul 20, 2012
    Joined: Jan 25, 2012
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    Goodmorning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain FUTAKAMBA on behalf of AirTanzania Ltd, I'm welcoming both seated and standing passengers on board of AirTanzania Boeing 737. We apologize for the six-hour delay in taking off, it wasdue to bad weather and some bad traffic from Ilala to the Airport, Dala Dala'sare all full in the morning hours and traffic not moving.

    This is flight 712 From Dar es Salaam to Mwanza. Landing there is not guaranteed,but we will end up somewhere in the Lake Zone. And, if luck is
    in our favor, we may even be landing on your village!

    Air Tanzania has an excellent safety-record. In fact, our safety standards areso high, that even pick-pockets, snatchers and bandits are afraid to fly withus!
    It is with pleasure; I announce that, starting this year,over 30% of our passengershave reached their destination. If our engines are too noisy for you, on passengerrequest, we can arrange to turn them off!

    To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentaryKONYAGI and Our favorite local brew MNAZI, you can also get GONGO if youpromise not to drink more than half a bottle.

    For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help youfind out if there really is a God!

    We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as wecould not record it from the ITV due to UEFA Champions League live
    broadcasting. However, we have bought 10 copies of SANI Magazines and 12 copiesof KASHESHE to supplement the movie.

    There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke U see in the cabin isonly the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down or
    our stewards might be frying MANDAZIS for the cockpit crews including myself

    In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible forthe best view. If however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiasticco-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!
    Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fastenyour seat belt. For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly fasten yourown belt to the arm of your seat. And, for those of you who can't find a seat,do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how tofasten yourself on the overhead lockers."

    "Thanking you all for choosing Air-Tanzania to fly for the first and probablythe last time."

     
  2. Globu

    Globu JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jul 20, 2012
    Joined: Jan 12, 2011
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    Utapanda mwenyewe hiyo ndege. Mie simo. Ha ha ha.
     
  3. snochet

    snochet JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jul 20, 2012
    Joined: Mar 31, 2011
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    hata ungo hauna masharti hivyo
     
  4. MduduWashawasha

    MduduWashawasha JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jul 20, 2012
    Joined: Mar 5, 2008
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    Punguzeni kashfa jamani.ili shirika linauwawa na viongozi wetu waliopewa dhamana ya kuliendesha lakini wakipata hata ndege nne tu ,watakimbiza hao wanajifanya wana ndege kibao
     
  5. Njowepo

    Njowepo JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jul 20, 2012
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    Makuhadi wa precision na KQ utawaona tuu
     
  6. Endangered

    Endangered JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jul 21, 2012
    Joined: Sep 22, 2011
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    C'mon people, this is a joke forum, I am a big time fan oif ATCL as well, but this is funny.
    If you keep on looking angry, it might even signify that it's not a joke, but rather true.

    Mkuu bornagain, kama wewe ndo mtunzi wa hii kitu, then una kipaji. BIG UP!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  7. Wilbert1974

    Wilbert1974 JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jul 21, 2012
    Joined: Feb 10, 2011
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    ...This is flight 712 From Dar es Salaam to Mwanza. Landing there is not guaranteed,but we will end up somewhere in the Lake Zone. And, if luck is in our favor, we may even be landing on your village!...

    Daah hiki kipande kimeniacha hoi asee!
    Ntakuwa napanda hii kutoka Dar hadi Mza maana nina uhakika nitatua palepale kijijini kwangu nayo; si ujiko huo!
    :flypig:
     
  8. Ruttashobolwa

    Ruttashobolwa JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jul 21, 2012
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    Noooooooooma!
     
  9. hovyohovyo

    hovyohovyo JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jul 21, 2012
    Joined: Jul 8, 2012
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    Joke??
     
  10. b

    bigambo Senior Member

    #10
    Jul 21, 2012
    Joined: Jul 30, 2007
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    Tehe tehe eeeeeeeteeeeeehe.....mteh
     
  11. SnowBall

    SnowBall JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jul 22, 2012
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    umetisha!
     
  12. Kilahunja

    Kilahunja JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jul 22, 2012
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    Haa ndefu sana mpaka ckumbuk mwanzo ilikuaje, i hate long text, bt thanx nway!
     
  13. Manager

    Manager JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Jul 23, 2012
    Joined: Apr 21, 2011
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    This is flight 712 From Dar es Salaam to Mwanza. Landing there is not guaranteed,but we will end up somewhere in the Lake Zone. And, if luck is
    in our favor, we may even be landing on your village!


    :A S-baby:Kwangu mimi msukuma sina mbavu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:israel:
     
  14. EXTERMINATOR

    EXTERMINATOR JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Jul 24, 2012
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    Naomba kushuka!
     
  15. Kilahunja

    Kilahunja JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Jul 24, 2012
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    2tashuka wote mwayaa, subir 2fike kanda ya ziwa.
     
  16. Wi-Fi

    Wi-Fi JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Jul 24, 2012
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    sio kwamba lugha tatizo???
     
  17. M

    MAMENGAZI JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Jul 25, 2012
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    uiii, isije ikawa ndani ya lake Victoria kabisa lol!!

    nice joke!!
     
  18. Wilbert1974

    Wilbert1974 JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Jul 25, 2012
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    Usikonde hii ni picha ya kampuni zote tu!
    Hukusikia juzi ya Kigoma?
     
  19. charminglady

    charminglady JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 25, 2012
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    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  20. Thanda

    Thanda JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Jul 28, 2012
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    I am born again, why should I bother booking with this flight?.....haki hata free ticket sitaki bora niende kwa baiskeli.
     
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