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Tatizo lenye kuhitaji utatuzi haraka - sexless marriages zipo na zinaongezeka kwa kasi....

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Tausi Mzalendo, Apr 18, 2011.

  1. Tausi Mzalendo

    Tausi Mzalendo JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Apr 18, 2011
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    [FONT=&quot]Someni hii:[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot] "I don't know why...there's just no spark left, you don't pay enough attention to me and our sex life and I guess I don't either!"[/FONT]



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    [FONT=&quot][/FONT][/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]This is a common sexless marriage situation and it can be caused by a variety of things including emotional scars, bad experiences, boredom, laziness, etc. In this situation, there is deep cause for concern from both parties because both parties aren't happy sexually but don't really know why it ended up this way. Both parties have just "let things go" and didn't place a high enough priority on their sex life with their spouse, which in and of itself is very concerning.[/FONT]



    [FONT=&quot]
    [FONT=&quot][/FONT][/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]Why would either or both parties let things get this way when love making is so important?”[/FONT]
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    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]Mshauri anasema hivi:[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]If you've lost interest in your spouse from a sexual point of view, you need to define exactly why that occurred. If you don't know right off hand, you need to think back to a time when you did 'have the spark' and recall what you both were doing, feeling, thinking, etc. From that point, identify what has changed, why it has changed, and what you can do about it. When you get that portion figured out, you may well on your way to taking the first step of recovering from your sexless marriage. Remember, if you [FONT=&quot]really want to rekindle your relationship, you can.[/FONT][/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot] [/FONT]


    [FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot][/FONT][/FONT]
    Jamani, mnajua kuwa zipo ndoa nyingi "sexless" - no tendo la ndoa kwa sababu mbalimbali? Wahusika wanaweza kujisikia upweke, kuchanganyikiwa, kukasirika, na kuwa na chuki isiyo kifani.Hadi sasa, hii ishu haiongelewi sana lakini ipo na watu hawajiskii huru kuijadili. Hali hii ikikupata utaendelea kukaa unasononeka au utafanyaje?
     
  2. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #2
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    Hili ni tatizo la tokea enzi na enzi. Hakuna jipya hapo. Lililo jipya ni uwezo tu wa watu kuliongelea hadharani na uwezo huo umewezeshwa kwa kiasi kikubwa na ukuaji wa teknolojia za mawasiliano ambapo mtu unaweza ukatoa kikusumbuacho moyoni kwa uwazi na uhuru zaidi.
     
  3. Susy

    Susy JF-Expert Member

    #3
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    nimefurahi tu umetutafsiria na siye tuliosomea chini ya miembe, the english is not reachable!!!

    nitarudi kutoa hoja yangu badae!!!
     
  4. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #4
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    ???????????
     
  5. Trustme

    Trustme JF-Expert Member

    #5
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    Yes, this things actually exist! one of the reason am thinking of is our marriage system ( once you marry no divorce especially to Christians) you shall die with him/her. So to fulfill the oath you both have to keep any problem inside ur room, no matter how it hurts you. This is nonsense we have to consider our feelings when it come to that point. To me marriage is only the name, what matters is how I spend my few days of my life in this world. We have to be happy, both parties and if one become dysfunctional then you have to consider ur partner who is still smart. Let him/her enjoy life with another man/women
     
  6. Michelle

    Michelle JF-Expert Member

    #6
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    Sidhani kama ndoa inaendelea kuwepo kama suala la kufanya mapenzi liko vizuri....kuna sababu nyingi tu za kumifanya aendelee kukaa kwenye ndoa hata kama sex imekuwa tatizo.... binafsi nisichoweza vumilia ni visa,ugomvi,dharau na mtu kushindwa kunijali mimi,familia na kuzini nje ya ndoa....mengine yote yanavumilika na nitajitahidi kadri ya uwezo wangu na kwa msaada wa Mungu kuyashinda!
     
  7. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #7
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    Umeolewa Michelle?
     
  8. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

    #8
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    ?????????/:A S-frusty2:
     
  9. Mo-TOWN

    Mo-TOWN JF-Expert Member

    #9
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    I think you have completely missed a point here! It sounds to you like marriage is about sex. Bro, there is more to marriage that sex, Michelle has put it very clear that as long as there is some respect in the marriage partners will be willing to hang on irrespective of dysfunctional issues and actually will try their level best to see to it that things improve on that side.
     
  10. Tausi Mzalendo

    Tausi Mzalendo JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Apr 18, 2011
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    Kama la tangu enzi nadhani ungeweza kwenda mbele ukatuambia enzi hizo lilikuwa linashughulikiwa vipi AU LILIKUWA HALINA SULUHU? kama watu hawakuzungumzia.Kweli teknolojia imerahisisha kuvunja ukimya wa mambo mengi na siyo hili tu.

    Granted that you have to be happy how can you be happy when there is boudoir war?

    Lakini Michelle, si wanasema hakuna ndoa kama tendo hamna? Sasa hiyo ndoa isyokuwa na mishemishe hizo ni ndoa? Wewe unasema kama mwanamke, je mwanaume anaweza kustahimili ndoa isyo na hii ishu na asitoke nje kupata mbadala?
     
  11. Tausi Mzalendo

    Tausi Mzalendo JF-Expert Member

    #11
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    To me this is a big contradiction. You want to say couples can stay together without sex and yet respect each other and hang on!? Elucidate please.
     
  12. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #12
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    Ni wazi ni tatizo ambalo halina ufumbuzi ambao unaweza kutumika kwa wanandoa wote wenye matatizo kwenye ndoa zao. Na ndio maana mpaka leo bado lipo na sina shaka litaendelea kuwepo kwa muda mrefu sana kama si milele. Niambie wewe ni kona gani ya dunia kusiko na matatizo ya kindoa kama hili ulilolileta?
     
  13. Tausi Mzalendo

    Tausi Mzalendo JF-Expert Member

    #13
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    Ndoa ni msalaba hatukatai. Sasa iweje watu wanataka mijuiza kutoka kwa wanandoa? sitarajii jibu kutoka kwako wewe huenda kuna wachangiaji wataweza kusema neno hapa. Hivi kuna tatizo la kijamii linalokosa ufumbuzi hata kama hauko wa kawaida? Sidhani kama tatizo hili litakosa utatuzi!
     
  14. Speaker

    Speaker JF-Expert Member

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    Miafrika ndivyi mlivyo
     
  15. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Nini sasa ufumbuzi wake?
     
  16. chiko

    chiko JF-Expert Member

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    Apr 19, 2011
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    Very Correct!!!!!, Sometimes the vows have to be broken, especially when you realize there is no Love anymore. Even those who brought us the Religion are Leading in Divorce Rate!!
     
  17. Sumba-Wanga

    Sumba-Wanga JF-Expert Member

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    It is true that sex is important in any marriage, but there are other important things too! Imagine, is sex alone enough for you to stay in marriage? What are you going to do if your spouse falls sick and not been able to do it? Will you divorce her/him because of it? Unless you prove beyond reasonable dought that your spouse is no longer interested in you..... Work hard to make your marriage works... By the way, marriage is a constant struggle, each day there are new challenges,... do not run away from it!
     
  18. Tausi Mzalendo

    Tausi Mzalendo JF-Expert Member

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    Apr 19, 2011
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    But guys.. dont you see that sexless marriages contribute to infidelity? If your spouse for one reason or another has caused you to be denied your "right", do u want to say that you will forever stay in celibacy waiting for a miracle?
     
  19. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

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    Kwa hiyo umezunguka kwote kumbe jibu ulikuwa nalo. Good for you!

     
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