Being single isn’t just about waiting for someone to come along. It’s about being comfortable with yourself until you meet someone who has lived a little, learned a lot, and can genuinely enhance your life.
The difference here is about depth. Waiting for someone who has experienced certain things in life is not about being picky. It’s about wanting a partner who can match your life experiences, your growth, and your understanding of the world.
Being single until you’ve met this kind of person is a choice that can lead to a more fulfilling and harmonious relationship.
In this article, I’d like to explore the nine life experiences that I believe are critical in a potential partner. And trust me, it’s worth the wait.
1) Independence
One of the most important life experiences someone can have before entering a relationship is independence.
Being independent isn’t just about being able to take care of yourself financially. It’s about knowing who you are as an individual, being comfortable with that, and having the strength to stand alone when needed.
When someone has experienced independence, they enter a relationship not because they need someone to complete them, but because they want to share their wholeness with another person.
Being with someone who has tasted independence can lead to a healthier, more balanced relationship. They know how to make decisions for themselves and can respect your need for personal space and individuality.
So, wait for that person who has experienced true independence. It’s a sign of maturity and self-awareness that can contribute greatly to a relationship.
2) Heartbreak
Heartbreak is something we all wish to avoid, but it’s often through the most painful experiences that we grow the most.
I remember my first heartbreak. It was an agonizing time, but it was also a period of intense self-discovery and growth. I learned about my strengths, my weaknesses, and what I truly valued in a relationship. It shaped me into who I am today.
When someone has experienced heartbreak, they’ve likely learned valuable lessons about love and relationships. They’ve understood what it means to lose something precious and how to cope with emotional pain.
This understanding can lead to a deeper level of empathy and emotional maturity in a relationship. So, stay single until you meet someone who has experienced heartbreak because they are likely to treat your heart with the care it deserves.
3) Living abroad
Living abroad isn’t just about experiencing a new culture or learning a new language. It’s about stepping outside of your comfort zone and seeing the world from a different perspective.
According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, living abroad can lead to a more flexible and creative mindset. It can also enhance one’s ability to understand and appreciate different viewpoints.
So, wait for someone who has had the courage to leave their familiar surroundings and immerse themselves in a new environment. This experience often breeds empathy, adaptability, and a broader worldview – all valuable qualities in a partner.
4) Failure
Failure can be a tough pill to swallow, but it’s an invaluable life experience. It teaches resilience, determination, and the ability to bounce back from adversity.
When someone has experienced failure, they understand that not everything in life goes according to plan, and that’s okay. They know how to pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and keep moving forward.
This resilience can translate into a relationship too. They are more likely to tackle relationship hurdles with a positive mindset and work towards resolving issues rather than dwelling on them.
So, hold out for someone who knows what it’s like to fail and rise again. Their resilience and determination can form a strong foundation for your relationship.
5) Pursuing a passion
There’s something incredibly attractive about being with someone who has found their passion and pursued it.
It shows they have determination, ambition, and the ability to commit themselves fully to something they love. A person who follows their passion also tends to have a sense of purpose and fulfillment which can lead to a more balanced and satisfying relationship.
Moreover, when someone has pursued a passion, they understand the importance of supporting their partner’s dreams and ambitions. They are more likely to encourage you to follow your own passions.
So, wait for someone who knows what it feels like to chase a dream. Their drive and enthusiasm can bring a unique energy to your relationship.
6) Loss
Experiencing the loss of a loved one is one of the toughest things we go through in life. But it’s an experience that shapes us, teaching us about the fragility of life and the importance of every moment.
When someone has experienced this kind of profound loss, they often gain a deeper appreciation for life and the people in it. They understand the value of time, and they’re less likely to take things, or people, for granted.
This understanding can bring a depth of emotion and thoughtfulness to a relationship that is truly special. So, wait for someone who has experienced loss. They can bring a level of appreciation, love, and empathy to your relationship that is deeply touching and genuine.
7) Self-discovery
There’s a certain magic in knowing who you are, what you value, and what you want in life. I spent years exploring different paths, trying new things, and even making a few mistakes along the way. But each experience brought me closer to understanding myself.
When someone has journeyed into self-discovery, they bring authenticity and self-awareness into a relationship. They know their strengths, their weaknesses, and what they want from a partner.
Being with someone who knows themselves deeply can lead to a more honest and fulfilling relationship. So, wait for someone who has taken the time to discover themselves. Their self-awareness can pave the way for deeper understanding and connection in your relationship.
8) Adventure
Adventure isn’t always about climbing mountains or diving deep into the ocean. It’s about embracing the unknown, taking risks, and stepping out of your comfort zone.
When someone has experienced adventure, they bring a sense of openness and curiosity to their life and relationships. They are willing to explore new avenues, face challenges head-on, and keep things exciting.
This adventurous spirit can bring a dynamic energy to a relationship. So, wait for someone who is not afraid of a little adventure. Their zest for life can inspire you to break your own boundaries and make your shared life an exciting journey.
9) Unconditional love
Unconditional love is not just about loving someone in spite of their flaws. It’s about loving them because of their flaws, understanding that they are a part of who they are.
When someone has experienced giving or receiving unconditional love, they understand what it means to accept and love a person for who they truly are.
Unconditional love forms the bedrock of any lasting relationship. So, wait for someone who knows what it feels like to love and be loved unconditionally. It’s a testament to their ability to love you for who you are, without conditions or reservations.
Final thoughts: It’s about growth
The journey of life is not just about the destinations we reach but also about the experiences we gather along the way.
These experiences shape us, teach us, and help us grow into the individuals we become. They prepare us for the relationships we enter and influence how we love, communicate, and connect with others.
Being single until you meet someone who has experienced these nine things is not about setting standards or waiting for the perfect partner. It’s about choosing someone who has grown through their experiences, learned from them, and emerged as a better person.
So, wait for that person who has tasted independence, faced failure, pursued a passion, and learned to love unconditionally. Their experiences can enrich your relationship and create a bond that’s founded on mutual growth, understanding, and love.
As Carl Jung said, “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” So wait for that transformative connection because it will be worth it.
