Password na agenda ya siri hamna lolote!!!

[Msanii]

mimi nimepewa na wife password ya emails zake.
pia tunashare passwors za ATM bila mashaka....

 

[WomanOfSubstance]

mimi jamani sijui ndo kupenda kwa kutumia moyo zaidi........siri kwa mume wangu??? hapana. labda mnisaidie madhara yanayoweza kusababishwa na mimi kushirikiana 'passwoerd na waubani wangu......what are things that am keeping out of him??

Noname and my beloved Sisy WOS hebu saidia hapo.........

BHT,
Its not easy to give you hints on what u should keep to yourself my dear.
Nitakupa mifano mdogo sana, wakati mwingine unakuwa unashare mambo na ndugu zako mambo deep ya kifamilia kwa upande wenu na hutaki awe part of that talk au unashare na mashosti wako....na si ajabu ni mambo trivial sana ya kike na hutaki kum drag ur beloved hubby into that small talk maana anaweza asielewe... Kuna kipindi siku za nyuma nilikuwa natumia email ambayo mwenzangu alikuwa na password na aliweza kuingia wakati wowote.Kuna shosti wangu akawa ananitumia e-mails na nikawa nakuwa mvivu kusoma na kujibu.Mwenzangu akawa anaingia anasoma na kujibu ...sasa siku moja akakosea akaandika jina lake.Shosti hakuelewa kabisa ilikuwa vipi na nilipomweleza alichukia sana kuwa inakuwaje mazungumzo yangu naye nimeya share na mtu wa tatu!? Hapa nakupa mifano midogo sana maana kuna mambo mengine siwezi kuyaanika hapa.

Ila the bottomline ujue...siyo kila kitu ni lazima ku share

 

[bht]

BHT,
Its not easy to give you hints on what u should keep to yourself my dear.
Nitakupa mifano mdogo sana, wakati mwingine unakuwa unashare mambo na ndugu zako mambo deep ya kifamilia kwa upande wenu na hutaki awe part of that talk au unashare na mashosti wako....na si ajabu ni mambo trivial sana ya kike na hutaki kum drag ur beloved hubby into that small talk maana anaweza asielewe... Kuna kipindi siku za nyuma nilikuwa natumia email ambayo mwenzangu alikuwa na passoword na aliweza kuingia wakati wowote.Kuna shosti wangu akawa ananitumia e-mails na nikawa nakuwa mvivu kusoma na kujibu.Mwenzangu akawa anaingia anasoma na kujibu ...sasa siku moja akakosea akaandika jina lake.Shosti hakuelewa kabisa ilikuwa vipi na nilipomweleza alichukia sana kuwa inakuwaje mazungumzo yangu naye nimeya share na mtu wa tatu!? Hapa nakupa mifano midogo sana maana kuna mambo mengine siwezi kuyaanika hapa.

Ila the bottomline ujue...siyo kila kitu ni lazima ku share

Mamii, is he not part and parcel of my family?? nini ambacho sitaki yeye ajue kuhusu familia yangu? langu si lake na lake si langu?

hapo kwenye e-mails hapo............he is nt supposed to respond to any of those labda kama na-dictate wat he should write!! I have no problem him reading them. WOS, my hubby is part of me, hez a brother, a close friend, yaani kila kitu. thats hw I think of a person am going to marry!!! (nahisi vacuum kwenye maelezo yangu ila nashindwa niiwekeje)

 

[WomanOfSubstance]

Mamii, is he not part and parcel of my family?? nini ambacho sitaki yeye ajue kuhusu familia yangu? langu si lake na lake si langu?

hapo kwenye e-mails hapo............he is nt supposed to respond to any of those labda kama na-dictate wat he should write!! I have no problem him reading them. WOS, my hubby is part of me, hez a brother, a close friend, yaani kila kitu. thats hw I think of a person am going to marry!!! (nahisi vacuum kwenye maelezo yangu ila nashindwa niiwekeje)

i get u bht... u have not yet reached the river to talk about the bridge.Ukiolewa ndio utaelewa what we are talking about.... gud luck... we were there at one point in life and we had same thoughts like urs my sistah!

 

[Gaijin]

labda mie na mpenzi wangu hatuna siri lakini dada yangu na mume wangu wana siri ( na inatakiwa ibaki hivyo)............ikiwa dada yangu au best friend wangu ameniambia siri yake kupitia email yangu haitakiwi mume wangu kujua. sasa hapa ndipo linapokuja suala la password

nakumbuka kuna kipindi nilikuwa na emergency nikampa Mr wangu password acheki email yangu ..............alipomalza akaniomba nibadilishe password (ili isimtie majaribuni) ila sijaibadili hadi leo...........sijui anafungua au la

nnacho amini kuwa sina sri inayonihusu moja kwa moja kwenye email yangu na anaweza kukaa nayo password yangu, ila nisingependa kama angekuwa anasoma emails kutoka kwa dada au friends zangu

 

[Dark City]

i get u bht... u have not yet reached the river to talk about the bridge.Ukiolewa ndio utaelewa what we are talking about.... gud luck... we were there at one point in life and we had same thoughts like urs my sistah!

WOS na Bht,

Wote nawaelewa ila kutoka kwenye angle tofauti. WOS anaongelea realities za maisha wakati Bht anongelea nadharia na wishes!

Binafsi sipendi mambo ya kuficha siri katika ndoa ila bado naamini nina mambo yangu ya kifamilia na pia na washikaji zangu ambayo sipendi wife ayajue. Kwa hiyo kuna baadhi ya vitu ambavyo ni ningependa kuvitunza kama siri. Na pia naamini wife ana vitu kama hivyo. Hata hivyo siungi mkono suala la usiri katika ndoa. Yaani simu isiguswe, paswords za email, bank n.k zinafichwa kama dudu ya mfalme n.k. Hayo siyapendi kabisa. Ila mimi nimempa passwards zangu zote na yeye kanipatia zake. Hata hivyo sifungui email zake kila siku na wala yeye hafungui zangu. Lakini kuna mazingira anaweza kuniomba nimsomee mails na nikafanya hivyo au nikiwa vijijini nikamtuma anisomee mails. Siwezi kujibu mail zake naye hawezi kujibu zangu. Ila kama kuna maelekezo anaweza hata mimi naweza kufanya hivyo. Hilo ni kwa upande wangu. Hata hivyo kila uhusiano naamni ni sovereign state na unaweza kuwa na rules zake. Cha msingi ni kukubaliana (badala ya kuburuzana) na kuheshimiana.

 

[WomanOfSubstance]

Kuna maeneo kama password za bank na vitu kama hivyo sitegemei siri na mimi sina siri.Infact kwenye finances ni vizuri kutokufanya siri maana ukijafanya siri kuna siku utakwama na siri zako zitakuponza.

 

[bht]

i get u bht... u have not yet reached the river to talk about the bridge.Ukiolewa ndio utaelewa what we are talking about.... gud luck... we were there at one point in life and we had same thoughts like urs my sistah!

ooh yeah may be thats why nimejiwelea tu ulimwengu wangu wa kufikirika........ntajione nikiingia huko. yaani mimi huwa na-imagine mtu akiwa 'mume wangu' ..........dah hapa pia nashindwa kueleza maana smthings need nt be shared on public

WOS na Bht,

Wote nawaelewa ila kutoka kwenye angle tofauti. WOS anaongelea realities za maisha wakati Bht anongelea nadharia na wishes!

Binafsi sipendi mambo ya kuficha siri katika ndoa ila bado naamini nina mambo yangu ya kifamilia na pia na washikaji zangu ambayo sipendi wife ayajue. Kwa hiyo kuna baadhi ya vitu ambavyo ni ningependa kuvitunza kama siri. Na pia naamini wife ana vitu kama hivyo. Hata hivyo siungi mkono suala la usiri katika ndoa. Yaani simu isiguswe, paswords za email, bank n.k zinafichwa kama dudu ya mfalme n.k. Hayo siyapendi kabisa. Ila mimi nimempa passwards zangu zote na yeye kanipatia zake. Hata hivyo sifungui email zake kila siku na wala yeye hafungui zangu. Lakini kuna mazingira anaweza kuniomba nimsomee mails na nikafanya hivyo au nikiwa vijijini nikamtuma anisomee mails. Siwezi kujibu mail zake naye hawezi kujibu zangu. Ila kama kuna maelekezo anaweza hata mimi naweza kufanya hivyo. Hilo ni kwa upande wangu. Hata hivyo kila uhusiano naamni ni sovereign state na unaweza kuwa na rules zake. Cha msingi ni kukubaliana (badala ya kuburuzana) na kuheshimiana.

kaka mkubwa hakika hizo ni wishes zangu, nimpate wa hivo, that I can feel free to share with him my everything na yeye vivyo hivyo.

Huungi mkono suala la kuwa na siri kwenye ndoa......(kuficha ficha maradhi), mimi napata picha kuwa unalomficha mwenzio basi si jema na unahisi litamuumiza akijua, sasa kwa nn ulifanye its definately not right thats why u are hiding it from your spouse!!! I wouldn't like hurting someone I love!!!

 

[bht]

Kuna maeneo kama password za bank na vitu kama hivyo sitegemei siri na mimi sina siri.Infact kwenye finances ni vizuri kutokufanya siri maana ukijafanya siri kuna siku utakwama na siri zako zitakuponza.

umesema vizuri sana hapa mamii!! I am sure this applies even to mambo ya familia ambayo utajifanya unamfinja mume!!! what if siku ya siku linabumburuka ambalo kukumbatiwa haiwezekani ilhali wewe ulimficha mumeo?? hapo huoni utatia dosari ndoa yenu!!!???

Jamani, tunamuongelea mtu uliyempenda na kumuamini kiasi cha kuahidi kuishi the rest of your lives together as one (Inshallah Mungu akisadia kuwawezesha muisho hivyo)

 

[Ramthods]

WOS is making a good point of course. I support her, I do have exactly same opinions!

Sio kila kitu ni cha ku share!

 

[bht]

WOS is making a good point of course. I support her, I do have exactly same opinions!

Sio kila kitu ni cha ku share!

Ram, kipi kwako unaona si vizuri ku-share na kwanini?

 

[Noname]

bht mambo mengine sio ya kuwaamabia hawa watu believe me ukimwambia kila kitu ujue kuna siku he will use it against u or to hurt you... no matter how good he is.... ur own family issues for example; ur obsession on handbags and shoes for example:A S tongue:

 

[WomanOfSubstance]

bht mambo mengine sio ya kuwaamabia hawa watu believe me ukimwambia kila kitu ujue kuna siku he will use it against u or to hurt you... no matter how good he is.... ur own family issues for example; ur obsession on handbags and shoes for example:A S tongue:

We are on the same page. Kuna watu wengine wanawake na wanaume wana dharau sana na kama watakujua undani sana kuhusu siri xa familia utokayo basi atatumia info hiyo to put down.
I dont mindakijua obsessions zako hizo za kupenda fashion ( after all you need his support at somepoint hahahah)

 

[BelindaJacob]

Siwezi kushare password ni marufuku kwangu...hata kama tunapendana vipi na mpz!! Sina la kuficha basi tu sitaki!

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

We are on the same page. Kuna watu wengine wanawake na wanaume wana dharau sana na kama watakujua undani sana kuhusu siri xa familia utokayo basi atatumia info hiyo to put down.
I dont mindakijua obsessions zako hizo za kupenda fashion ( after all you need his support at somepoint hahahah)

Siri gani hizo za familia ambazo utamficha mumeo au mkeo? Unaweza kutupa mfano/mifano?

Katika maisha ya ndoa, mwenza wako ndio anatakiwa kuwa mtu wa karibu sana na wewe kuliko mtu mwingine yeyote. Mwenza wako ndio mtu unayetakiwa kumjua na yeye kukujua kuliko wanavyokujua watu wengine wakiwemo wazazi.

Mimi mambo ya siri kwenye ndoa hapana kabisa. Kama ningekuwa na mke basi akitaka kunitibua awe ananificha vitu. I would be livid. Dishonesty and secrecy (in a relationship/ marriage) are one of my biggest pet peeves and I don't have much tolerance for neither one of them. That's just me.

Ila uzuri wa hili jambo ni kuwa hakuna kibaya wala kizuri. Hapa nina maana ya kwamba mtu unafanya au kuamua kulingana na unavyoona wewe kuwa ni sawa. Kwa hiyo kutokukubaliana kwangu na watu kama wewe kwenye jambo hili haimaanishi kwamba nyinyi mna makosa au mnakosea kuwa na mtazamo tofauti. Ndio uzuri wa dunia huo - diverse in every sense of the word diverse!!!

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

Siwezi kushare password ni marufuku kwangu...hata kama tunapendana vipi na mpz!! Sina la kuficha basi tu sitaki!

Hiyo sisi wataalam wa isimu matumizi tunaiita 'just because'....yaani hakuna sababu yoyote ya msingi....hakuna rhyme or reason...ni basi tu hutaki. I like that.

 

[WomanOfSubstance]

Siri gani hizo za familia ambazo utamficha mumeo au mkeo? Unaweza kutupa mfano/mifano?

Katika maisha ya ndoa, mwenza wako ndio anatakiwa kuwa mtu wa karibu sana na wewe kuliko mtu mwingine yeyote. Mwenza wako ndio mtu unayetakiwa kumjua na yeye kukujua kuliko wanavyokujua watu wengine wakiwemo wazazi.

Mimi mambo ya siri kwenye ndoa hapana kabisa. Kama ningekuwa na mke basi akitaka kunitibua awe ananificha vitu. I would be livid. Dishonesty and secrecy (in a relationship/ marriage) are one of my biggest pet peeves and I don't have much tolerance for neither one of them. That's just me.

Ila uzuri wa hili jambo ni kuwa hakuna kibaya wala kizuri. Hapa nina maana ya kwamba mtu unafanya au kuamua kulingana na unavyoona wewe kuwa ni sawa. Kwa hiyo kutokukubaliana kwangu na watu kama wewe kwenye jambo hili haimaanishi kwamba nyinyi mna makosa au mnakosea kuwa na mtazamo tofauti. Ndio uzuri wa dunia huo - diverse in every sense of the word diverse!!!

NN na wenzio ambao bado hamjaingia kwenye ndoa, mnazungumzia the ideal situation.... katika uhalisia ni tofauti.... ingieni kwanza kisha mtaelewa. Its not about being dishonest au nini.Na hata kutoa mifano siyo rahisi.

 

[Dark City]

kaka mkubwa hakika hizo ni wishes zangu, nimpate wa hivo, that I can feel free to share with him my everything na yeye vivyo hivyo.

Huungi mkono suala la kuwa na siri kwenye ndoa......(kuficha ficha maradhi), mimi napata picha kuwa unalomficha mwenzio basi si jema na unahisi litamuumiza akijua, sasa kwa nn ulifanye its definately not right thats why u are hiding it from your spouse!!! I wouldn't like hurting someone I love!!!

B, siyo lazima yawe mambo ambayo unayafanya sasa hivi. May be ni mimi tu, lakini kuna mambo amabayo uliwahi kufanya hata wewe hutaki kutakumbuka. Yakiingia tu kichwani unatamani kumeza dawa za usingizi.
Pia kuna mamb ya washikaji zako ambayo mnaweza kukumbushana kwenye email na hungependa ayajue kwani anaweza kuyachukia. Kuna mengi zaid ya ninavyoweza kukueleza. Halafu utakumbuka kwenye thread moja tulisema kuwa wakati mwingine ni bora kumweleza mwenzio uongo mtakatifu kuliko kumuumiza na ukweli usio na kichwa wala miguu!

umesema vizuri sana hapa mamii!! I am sure this applies even to mambo ya familia ambayo utajifanya unamfinja mume!!! what if siku ya siku linabumburuka ambalo kukumbatiwa haiwezekani ilhali wewe ulimficha mumeo?? hapo huoni utatia dosari ndoa yenu!!!???

Jamani, tunamuongelea mtu uliyempenda na kumuamini kiasi cha kuahidi kuishi the rest of your lives together as one (Inshallah Mungu akisadia kuwawezesha muisho hivyo)

Hii nadhani inahitaji thread inayojitegemea. Hilo suala la kuishi as one liko theoretical zaidi ya practical. Mara baada ya kuanza maisha ya pamoja ndipo unapongundua kuwa mko nafasi mbili (tena unique) zinazoishi kwenye roof moja. Wanaofanikiwa ni wale wanaojitahidi kufuta mbinu za kuishi kwenye harmony kwa ku-comprimise baadhi ya haki zao kwa ajili ya wenzao. Siyo rahisi ki hivyo dada. We subiri kipenga kikishalia utatutapa ushuhuda, though u can hit ur targets and that is not a surprise!

NN na wenzio ambao bado hamjaingia kwenye ndoa, mnazungumzia the ideal situation.... katika uhalisia ni tofauti.... ingieni kwanza kisha mtaelewa. Its not about being dishonest au nini.Na hata kutoa mifano siyo rahisi.

That's the bottom line!

 

[Gaijin]

Si hayo tu bht..... Kuna vitu vyengine vinatokea nje mathalan kuna mtu kazini au mtaani wala humjui uzuri kalutongoza tuseme basi kumuhadhithia mumeo utamuhadithia lkn mpaka umlie timing! Hehehe huwezi kukurupuka tu Kama unavyoongea na shoga yako
" shoga Yule babu ovyoooo ndo niñi kuja kunambia mie utumbo ule.... Na nilimstahi tu au ningemumbua!"

 

[Diana-DaboDiff]

Kuna kitu kinaitwa 'personal space' inabidi kila mtu awe nayo kama uhuru na simu yake bila bugudha na mawasiliano binafsi kama e-mail na inabidi mwenzake aheshimu hivi.