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Nilikuwa namhurumia sasa kanigeuka

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by BASHADA, Jul 13, 2011.

  1. BASHADA

    BASHADA JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Jul 13, 2011
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    Hii Wana JF,

    I have a serious problem affecting my life and my marriage. It was in 2008 when i met a College girl, and as we met she was trying so much to attract my eyes to fall in love with her. She is very beautiful, complete in all aspects, very focused mind, creative and had very good arguments about life. I really loved her as friend. But the first day we met, i told her that am married and with a child. I hope what i did was right, since we remained friends for a long time (more than 3yrs) without having sexual affairs. But she always insisted me that i should remain to be her friend, and i accepted. She is in Dar and am upcountry. So whenever i came to Dar she could ask that we should meet, at least for a lunch or so.

    Strange thing in our friendship was that whenever we communicate (phone, email or even meeting physically) she could always say these worlds. "I really love you, i wish i could have been my husband, but i regret that its too late". I used to contemplate why she always repeat these words. This year, in February, we met and she started a very long list of problems (family issues, psychological problems that she encountered since she broke with her ex-boyfriend, off course even in her work place she mentioned how she is being embarrassed by men who want to sleep with her, and the problems she is facing in getting a good job that can sustain her life etc.). She used to tell me that she will never sleep with a man until she finds a true love.

    I tried my level best to advise her and gave her several options, one being to focus on her future life and i gave also an option of going for more studies, so as to widen her scope of getting a better job. In May this year i went to Dar again and she asked to meet her somewhere. I cant explain the things she did...... things which ended in making love (***). Now she is telling me that since then i am her true love ever found in this world. Again she has told me that she has found a college for further studies and is asking me to help her pay her fee. JAMANI HUU SI NDO MWANZO WA KUVUNJIWA NYUMBA YANGU???
     
  2. Tutor B

    Tutor B JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jul 13, 2011
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    Chukuma maamuzi magumu hata kama hatakuelewa.
     
  3. bacha

    bacha JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Aug 19, 2010
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    Bashada, wewe ndoa yako ina umri gani?
    hujawahi tembea nje ya ndoa yako hata kidogo?
    Please be honest..............................then ntarudi baadae.
     
  4. Tutor B

    Tutor B JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jul 13, 2011
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    Bacha toa ushauri wako tukusikie kiongozi.
     
  5. s

    shalis JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jul 13, 2011
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    as you say she is very creative...........think twice
     
  6. chavka

    chavka Senior Member

    #6
    Jul 13, 2011
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    Dah mkubwa yote ulitaka mwenyewe wanaume 2najijua lengo lako kubwa lilikuwa kummega so umevutiwa. na habhab so kuwa makini mke ni bora kuliko kimada na huyo dem mapenz anayo ila kubwa ni kukufanya msaidizi wa matatizo yake sio kama amegwi anamegwa sana. siunajua haina mwenyewe ikioshwa mpya. tc usijidanganye
     
  7. NATA

    NATA JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: May 10, 2007
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    Alikubaka mkiwa lunch?
    Pole sana mkuu!
     
  8. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: May 25, 2009
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    Mwanzo wa kuvunjiwa ndoa?!Unataka mianzo mingapi wewe?!Yani umeshatembea nae alafu kitendo cha kumsaidia shule ndio mwanzo?!

    Nwy amua mwenyewe kuachana nae jumla...au ukubali mumsaidia kama unataka na uwezo unao ila usitishe huko ‘kumake love‘ mlikofanya ila sasa vyovyote vile utakavyofanya kua mwangalifu asije akamtafuta mkeo na kukushtakia.Ningekwambia ukajishtakie mwenyewe ila kama ni mara moja tu na huna mpango wa kurudia pia kama mkeo hawezi kuvumilia madudu kama hayo bora nafsi yako tu ikusute.
     
  9. Jomse

    Jomse JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jul 13, 2011
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    Huo ni mtego anataka kuivunja ndoa yako vipande vipande.Kata mawasiliano.
     
  10. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Jan 11, 2007
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    ...daaahhh, maelezo meeeengi, hii ya ended in making love umeificha chini kabisa, hha hha ha,...
    haya bana, mimi sina la kukushauri maana tayari lawama 'ushamtupia yeye' ku initiate hiyo love making.

    BTW, huwa unamwambia mkeo kuwa una huyu rafiki, na sometime unakwenda onana nae peke yako?
    Amini usiamini, mkeo ni mshauri mzuri jinsi ya kumuepuka huyu mdada.
     
  11. Dr. Love Pimbi

    Dr. Love Pimbi Member

    #11
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Jul 13, 2011
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    Mkuu MWANZO wa kuvunjika kwa Ndoa yako ni Pale ulipokubali Kumsaliti Mke wako na Kuamua kulala na Huyo Binti. Jambo la Msingi mwambie kwamba hauna uwezo wa kumsomesha na Ikiwezekana kata kabisa Mawasiliano naye ( Kama unataka uokoe Ndoa yako)
     
  12. First Born

    First Born JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jul 13, 2011
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    Keshaonja tunda, kinachofuata utaambiwa kuwa anaujauzito wako, hapo utashindwa kumwacha kabisa, cha kufanya fuata ushauri wa Drg l Pimbi. Utakusaidia.
     
  13. Meritta

    Meritta JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Apr 26, 2011
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    huyo ni ibilis kwenye ndoa yako mkimbie
     
  14. Chimunguru

    Chimunguru JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Jul 13, 2011
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    pole mkuu! nakuhurumia sana, mapenzi nje ya ndoa ni mabaya saaana! mkeo akijua atavunjika moyo sana. nyumba yako ikiingia kwenye hayo matatizo itakuchua muda mrefu sana ku settle tena. kabla wife hajajua achana na huo mpango wa kando.
     
  15. kisasangwe

    kisasangwe JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Jul 13, 2011
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    alikua anakuvizia sasa kakupata. ila analaana huyo. yani anajua una mke na mtoto afu haahahaha. chambo ya kumpeleka shule hahhahaha.
     
  16. T

    Tasia I JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Jul 13, 2011
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    wow! me nadhani unalichukuia kwa woga mnmoooo!
    ni jambo hatari kwa ndoa yako sawa lakini usilifanye kua kuubwa sana hadi likakufanya ukaonekana hata
    kwa wife kua upo tofauti.
    Me nilidhani kua labda ni mjamzito baada ya ku do! ila wala hilo hujasema.
    hilo la chuo, unajua we kua unaweza au huwezi kumsaidia. ka huwezi jst tell her kua yu not in the position to help.
    Ulifanya jambo la maana kumwambia toka mwanzo kua umeoa na unamtoto, so she wont blame, na pia umesema yey ndo
    alikutega hadi mka do while she knew abt yua ststus.
    Just tell the fact,
     
  17. M

    Mopalmo JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Jul 13, 2011
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    somesha ni jambo jema kwa taifa letu
     
  18. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Jul 13, 2011
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    You better hope that she's not pregnant otherwise you are the one who created a problem for yourself you knew very well you are a married man so what did you expect when you were doing it, don't start blaming her well it's your fault.
     
  19. Sabry001

    Sabry001 JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Jul 13, 2011
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    Umeshafanya kosa kubwa kuukuza huo urafiki mpaka hapo ulipofika hali unajua uko ktk ndoa. Sasa kwa vile umeshajua kuwa ndoa yako inaenda kupukutika then unatakiwa uchukue uamuzi ambao najua c mgumu kwa kuwa unataka kuokoa ndoa yako. 1. Kata mawasiliano na huyo mwanamke na mpango wa kumsomesha achana nao kwani we babake au amekosa wa kumsomesha dar nzima mpaka aje akung'ang'anie wewe tena mume wa m2? Tabia yake mbaya na sio m2livu thats y alikutega na ameona una ki2 anachokitaka na akajua kukuvulia ndio atakipata, kuwa macho sana kaka! 2. Tubu mbele ya mungu wako na uache kabisa uasherati manake hata maandiko yanasema AZINIE NA MWANAMKE HANA AKILI KABISA......!
     
  20. Tutor B

    Tutor B JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Jul 13, 2011
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    Hayo ni maneno ya kwenye kumbi za ibada wewe. Mwache binti aendelee kufaidi, akasomeshwe kwani wajinga ndio waliwao. Huko chuoni kalikuwa kanamegwa tu na masela wengine, sasa huyu baba kwa kuwa kaingia king mwenyewe wacha aendelee tu.
     
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