Ni Nini Wanaume Wanataka Toka Kwa Wanawake?

[Superman]

Kuna Mdau aliwahi kuuliza maswali katika thread moja iliyoko hapa: https://www.jamiiforums.com/mahusiano-mapenzi-urafiki/102386-wanaume-nisaidieni.html.

Katika maswali hayo kulikuwa na swali moja la msingi:

"Huwaga Wanaume mnataka nini hasa kwa msichana,yani focus yenu kubwa ni nini? Sex, Feelings, Company au ni Nini?"


Ni nini Wanaume wanahitaji au wanataka kutoka kwa Mwanamke inatofautiana toka Mwanaume na Mwanaume na pia inategemea na mazingira yaliyowakutanisha.

Nimejaribu kufanya research ndogo. Source ya research yangu ni Mitandao na pia uelewa wa yale ambayo nimeyasikia toka kwa Wanaume wengine. Kwa ufupi hizi ni baadhi ya vitu ambavyo Wanaume haswa wale Walio juu ambao “any Woman would love to be with” au “Husband/BF Materials” wanahitaji:

1. Wanaume wote wameumbwa na ujasiri na wakati mwingine it is fun kwamba kuna baadhi ambao basi tu wanapenda kupata Mwanamke ambaye wanaamini kuwa ni mgumu kumpata. Hapa nitatoa mfano ambao wakati niko chuo, ilimlazimu kijana moja ‘Mpenda Watoto” lakini ambaye kuna binti wa Kilokole alimkataa kwa ajili ya ukware wake; “Aokok” naye na kutangaza ndoa na Yule binti ili mradi tu ampate. Baada ya miezi 6 alifanikiwa na bila ya shaka hitaji lake lilikamilika.

2. Wanaume wanahitaji Wanawake wenye afya njema: Kimwili; Kisaikolojia; Kihisia na Kifedha. Wanawake wengi ni tegemezi katika mambo hayo na hili linawaweka katika nafasi mbaya mara Mwanaume anapogundua kuwa huna vigezo hivyo. Wengi hawatakwambia ila wataishia tu.

3. Wanaume wanapenda Wanawake wazuri kwa mwonekano” Macho; Mwili standard wa kibantu; nywele nzuri; mwili msafi ndani na nje na ngozi laini au nyororo isiyo na vipele au spots.

4. Wanaume wanataka Wanawake ambao ni Wakweli ambao wanaweza kuaminika kwa kila wanaloongea liwe jema au baya. Wanaume wengi wana multiple partners lakini hawategemei Wanawake wanaowadate wawe na partners wengine. Ukifanya utafiti wako, mfano Mwanaume wa umri wa miaka 30 utakuta katika maisha yake anakuwa amewapitia wanawake wengi kuliko wale ambao mwanamke amewabadilisha.

5. Wanaume wanataka Wanawake wenye uelewa wa mabo mbalimbali. Ukiwa una interest zinazofanana na Mwanaume basi ni +point kwako. Hakuna Mwanaume anayependa kumdate Mwanamke muda mrefu kama hata akimpeleka Dinner hakuna Maongezi.

6. Wanaume wanataka wanawake ambao watakuwa wanafanya effort ya vitendo ya kumfurahisha. Suprises za nguvu lakini bila kumgangamalia.

7. Wanaume wanataka Wanawake ambao kila wakati Wanaonekana maridhawa na wako smart na pia juu katika Mwonekano wao. Hakuna Mwanaume smart hasa wa mjini atataka kudate binti ambaye ni outdated. Kumbuka sign nyingi zinazowavutia Wanaume ni Mwonekano wako.

8. Wanaume Wanataka wanawake ambao wana PASSION ambayo itamfanya Mwanaume akutafute tena. So girls spoil your man ukipata nafasi hiyo.


9. Wanaume hawapendi wanawake wenye majidai na majigambo kuliko uhalisia wao.

 

[Michelle]

Nakushukuru mkuu,umenijibu nakumbuka nilianzisha hiyo thread......Barikiwa sana,natumai wengi wetu tutajifunza jambo!!!

 

[Tambara Bovu]

Hata ukiwa na sifa zote hizo mwanaumwe haridhiki hata siku moja.nadhani kuna cha zaid ya hayo labda wanaume watujibu maana nami nataman sana kujua

 

[Superman]

Jeeez!

Naona post kuu imekatika baada ya kupost. ilikuwa ni artcle ambayo inajitegemea iikiwa na points 19 kisha nikamalizia na ushauri wa nini Wanawake wafanye ikiwa na vipengele vitano. Ooops! Nitaona kama naweza kukumbuka tena.

 

[Superman]

Nakushukuru mkuu,umenijibu nakumbuka nilianzisha hiyo thread......Barikiwa sana,natumai wengi wetu tutajifunza jambo!!!

Tuko pamoja Mkuu.

Kuna sehemu ilikuwa inasema GREAT MEN wanatambua kuwa INFIDELITY ni sehemu muhimu sana (INGREDIENT) katika kudumisha mahusiano na wenzi wao. Hili lina debate sana. lakini utafit unaonyesha kuwa ndoa au mahusiani mengi yenye mafanikio makubwa wanaume wamekuwa wana extra affairs.

Ushauri ni vema wanawake wakae wakijua wakati wanapambana nalo.

 

[Superman]

Hata ukiwa na sifa zote hizo mwanaumwe haridhiki hata siku moja.nadhani kuna cha zaid ya hayo labda wanaume watujibu maana nami nataman sana kujua

FL; point one above refers:

1. Wanaume wote wameumbwa na ujasiri na wakati mwingine it is fun kwamba kuna baadhi ambao basi tu wanapenda kupata Mwanamke ambaye wanaamini kuwa ni mgumu kumpata. Hapa nitatoa mfano ambao wakati niko chuo, ilimlazimu kijana moja ‘Mpenda Watoto" lakini ambaye kuna binti wa Kilokole alimkataa kwa ajili ya ukware wake; "Aokok" naye na kutangaza ndoa na Yule binti ili mradi tu ampate. Baada ya miezi 6 alifanikiwa na bila ya shaka hitaji lake lilikamilika.

 

[malkiory]

Scientifically investigated.

 

[Michelle]

Tuko pamoja Mkuu.

Kuna sehemu ilikuwa inasema GREAT MEN wanatambua kuwa INFIDELITY ni sehemu muhimu sana (INGREDIENT) katika kudumisha mahusiano na wenzi wao. Hili lina debate sana. lakini utafit unaonyesha kuwa ndoa au mahusiani mengi yenye mafanikio makubwa wanaume wamekuwa wana extra affairs.

Ushauri ni vema wanawake wakae wakijua wakati wanapambana nalo.

Sitaki kushindana na hiko lakini em imagine mwanamke anasema hayo? kwamba most ya ndoa zilizo successfull wanawake wana extra affairs?? badala ya watu kujitahidi unatupa ushauri kuwa tukae tukijua kuwa kuna wakati tutakumbana nalo tu,and in other words that means tukubaliane nalo coz yaweza kuwa siri ya mafanikio????

 

[Chapa Nalo Jr]

Mimi kama mwanaume sipendi wanawake wanaoendekeza u-Beijing kupita kiasi, eti zamu zamu kufua na kupika na mambo kama hayo( wimbo wa haki sawa unazidi ndani ya nyumba), na nashukuru Mungu alilijua hilo amenipa mke wa aina hiyo asiye na u-beijing wa kupindukia (labda kama atabadilika baadaye na siombei), na mimi naepuka mfumo dume kupita kiasi

 

[Superman]

Sitaki kushindana na hiko lakini em imagine mwanamke anasema hayo? kwamba most ya ndoa zilizo successfull wanawake wana extra affairs?? badala ya watu kujitahidi unatupa ushauri kuwa tukae tukijua kuwa kuna wakati tutakumbana nalo tu,and in other words that means tukubaliane nalo coz yaweza kuwa siri ya mafanikio????

Mic, najua hili ni gumu kukubaliana nalo lakini huo ndiyo ukweli halisi. Fanya utafiti katika mitandao, ongea na marafiki wenye mahusiano utagundua ukweli huo. Age mates wengi ninaowafahamu ambao nyumba zao ziko vizuri wanavimada na unfortunately wake zao hawafahamu. At least nafahamu a significant number. We talk na inasikitisha kuwa ni kitu cha kawaida kwa wengi.

Hata hivyo Wakaka hawa priority ya familia na watoto ni almost 100% na hao vimada wao wanajua na kukubali.

Kuna familia ninayotambua wameishi zaidi ya miaka 30 katika ndoa mama na wanafamilia wakiamini kwamba ndoa ile ni ya mfano na kuigwa katika maisha. 30+ years later ikaja kugundulika kuwa baba ana mtoto aliyempata wakiwa katika ndo. Kuna familia nyingine pia wana kisa kama hicho.

Kuna familia ambayo mama amezaa katika ndoa lakini mume si mwenye mtoto na wala hana habari. Maisha yao ni mazuri sana.

Kama nilivyosema hili lina mjadala mrefu kwa kuwa opinions zinaweza kutofautiana.

 

[Superman]

Mimi kama mwanaume sipendi wanawake wanaoendekeza u-Beijing kupita kiasi, eti zamu zamu kufua na kupika na mambo kama hayo( wimbo wa haki sawa unazidi ndani ya nyumba), na nashukuru Mungu alilijua hilo amenipa mke wa aina hiyo asiye na u-beijing wa kupindukia (labda kama atabadilika baadaye na siombei), na mimi naepuka mfumo dume kupita kiasi

Kiongozi tunakusoma . . .

Wanawake angalizo lingine hilo kutoka kwa baadhi ya wanaume.

 

[Husninyo]

Tuko pamoja Mkuu.

Kuna sehemu ilikuwa inasema GREAT MEN wanatambua kuwa INFIDELITY ni sehemu muhimu sana (INGREDIENT) katika kudumisha mahusiano na wenzi wao. Hili lina debate sana. lakini utafit unaonyesha kuwa ndoa au mahusiani mengi yenye mafanikio makubwa wanaume wamekuwa wana extra affairs.

Ushauri ni vema wanawake wakae wakijua wakati wanapambana nalo.

dah! Hii post imenichosha.

 

[Superman]

dah! Hii post imenichosha.

Share nasi; imekuchosha kivipi?

 

[Dr Lizzy]

dah! Hii post imenichosha.

Same here!

 

[Superman]

Same here!

Huo ndo ukweli wenyewe . . . hii ni moja kati ya rejea za utafiti:

Men want fidelity and a commitment to the relationship.

Fidelity is an absolute must. In fact, men want a woman who does not have a “roaming eye” and who can wholeheartedly commit to the relationship. Many may define commitment as fidelity plus the willingness to work on the relationship — even when the going gets tough.

Women think that all men want is sex, and that men will leave a relationship for the next prettier face. Women think men cannot be trusted to be faithful. Women believe men do not want to work on a relationship; that when the going gets tough, they run.

A tip for women


Here is great news for those women who are resigned to the myth that all men cheat: infidelity and “a roaming eye” are as distasteful to men as they are to women. Great men know how to build a wonderful relationship, and they know fidelity is the main ingredient

 

[LD]

Kiukweli jamani, kwa kauzoefu kadogo niliko nako, Infedelity is said to be there to stay. But nafikiria hivi watu wakimuamini Mungu kwa mioyo yao yote hatuwezi kuishinda hii?? Nakiri sina elimu ya kutosha mpaka sasa juu ya hili, lakini inasemekana hivo.

Labda tujaribu ku refer maisha ya babu na baba zetu na sisi wenyewe halafu tuone. Lizzy, Michelle, Carmel na wengine hebu tulifanyieni kazi hili.

 

[Superman]

Ni nini hasa Wanaume Wanataka toka kwa Mwanamke?

1. Men want honest, timely, loving communication.

Honest communication is top priority for men. They want a woman who answers questions honestly, and perhaps even volunteers information. They want a woman who confidently asks for her wants and needs to be met. They want a woman who can see the truth and tell it like it is while communicating with kindness. Men want a woman who can communicate without being too critical, who cares about preserving his and her dignity.
Women think men want them to be superficial, to keep quiet about their needs or wants, and never to ask for anything. Women think men believe them to be too needy and too sensitive, and that men simply want women to get over it. Some women believe they do not have the permission to tell it like it is, that they will be rejected for speaking up.

A tip for women

Great men want and need straightforward, courageous communication without anger or criticism. One way to attract a great man and build a satisfying relationship is to learn how to communicate your truth and needs effectively.

2. Men want self-sufficient, secure, confident women.

Men want a woman to choose them out of want rather than out of desperation — either materially or emotionally. Men need to be wanted and needed by their partners, but they want their partners to have a separate identity. Men want a woman to be active and independent, to have her own friends and interests.

On the other hand, men treasure time spend with a loving partner. Women think men don’t want women to need them. Women think men do not need or appreciate time spent together as a couple. Women believe that showing a man he is needed will turn him off and
possibly make him run away.

A tip for women

Men want what women want — a whole partner. One powerful way to attract a great man and build a vibrant relationship is to create a full, rewarding life for your own fulfillment.

3. Men want a manipulation-free relationship.

Men want no manipulation of any kind. They do not want to read their partner’s mind or try to interpret signals. They do not want to be forced to move faster in a relationship than they are ready. They do not want to be manipulated into taking all the blame for things gone wrong. They do not want to be on the receiving end of game playing.

Women think men want little or no communication, and the only way to get needs met is through manipulation. Women think men either need or want to be reminded that the relationship needs to move forward. Women think men don’t want or value praise and acknowledgment, and so tend to only verbalize criticism.

A tip for women

Men will not tolerate manipulation of any kind for any significant length of time. To attract a great man and build a wonderful relationship learn to ask without hesitation for what you want and need in every area of your life. Learn to be aware of his timing and his time-line. Learn how to acknowledge and bestow praise.

4. Men want growth, personal responsibility, and ownership.

Men want a partner who can laugh at herself and who has courage and strength. They want a woman who can see her part in relationship dynamics and own it. She has to be emotionally stable. Men want a woman who is developing herself personally, and who takes responsibility for her emotional experience.

Women think men only want to have a good time. Women think men have no interest in developing and growing a relationship or developing and growing themselves. Women think men want women who are super models, and that they never consider whether a
woman is emotionally mature, kind, supportive, or loving.

A tip for women

Men want women who are emotionally mature. Maturity does not mean lack of emotions. It does mean the ability to handle emotions responsibly. To attract a great man and build a long-term relationship, learn to take responsibility for your emotional experience and expression.

5. Men want fidelity and a commitment to the relationship.

Fidelity is an absolute must. In fact, men want a woman who does not have a “roaming eye” and who can wholeheartedly commit to the relationship. Many may define commitment as fidelity plus the willingness to work on the relationship — even when the going gets tough.

Women think that all men want is sex, and that men will leave a relationship for the next prettier face. Women think men cannot be trusted to be faithful. Women believe men do not want to work on a relationship; that when the going gets tough, they run.

A tip for women

Here is great news for those women who are resigned to the myth that all men cheat: infidelity and “a roaming eye” are as distasteful to men as they are to women. Great men know how to build a wonderful relationship, and they know fidelity is the main ingredient.

6. Men want women who know how men need to be treated.

Many women treat men in ways that diminish their egos, making them feel inadequate. Men would rather have more praise, more acknowledgment of what they do right, more acknowledgment that they are great guys who are loved and appreciated.
Women think men do not need them, do not value their opinion, their support, their praise. Women also think men do not care about many things important to women, which is why they criticize. Criticism is a way to verbalize resentment.

A tip for women

Most men want acknowledgment and appreciation from women. Learning to acknowledge instead of making your partner wrong is one of the most powerful relationship survival tools available to you.

Source: What Men Want in a Relationship « Power to Change

 

[The Boss]

We only want sex,and more sex

 

[Dr Lizzy]

All this men want..men want is driving me nuts!What about what we want?If men don't want to be manipulated how come they manipulate us?If they want to be respected how come they don't respect us and our feelings?Infidelity is not something that should be accepted just because some silly research says so!Can't walk around knowing and accepting that a man that i call mine is OURS!Science or not it's a load of nonsense!Watakaokubali wakubali ila mimi nakataa!

 

[Superman]

We only want sex,and more sex

But Men also Wanta Families.

That means, they will need a Good Looking Girl with above qualities.

But since they want more and more sex, they will get mistress(es) with similar qualities while nourishing their home/families/marriages.

Is this what you mean Boss?