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Ndoa iliyodumu siku NNE bongo!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Vakwavwe, Aug 18, 2009.

  1. V

    Vakwavwe JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Aug 18, 2009
    Joined: May 16, 2009
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    Kuna mambo ukiambiwa unaweza ukachelea kuamini...lakini ndo ukweli.
    Jamaa ameoa jumamosi na jumatano akaanza kuulizia kisu chake chenye makali ambacho tayari mkewe alikuwa amekificha baada ya kuona kinathaminiwa kuliko kifaa kingine ndani....alitaka kumdhuru rafiki yake wa karibu sana kwa kumtuhumu kumvizia mke wake huyo.....
    Bwana huyo alikutana kwa mara ya kwanza na mwanamke huyo ndani ya miezi 6 na kufanya maandalizi hadi ndoa ndani ya kipindi hicho tu....Baada ya miezi karibu mi2 amemfukuza mkewe kwa tuhuma kuwa anago out na shemeji yake(mme wa dadake) ambaye amekuwa akimlea hapa jijini mpaka yeye akapata nafasi ya kumuona....siku hiyo dada wa mke akiwa na mmewe walimpitia kwenda shopping kwa bahati mbaya mmewe hakuwepo na simu haikupatikana ili kuaga....ktk shopping kwa kuzingatia kuwa mdogo wake hakujiandaa wakamnunulia na yeye vitu kadhaa kama nafaka n.k....kesi ikawa kubwa walipompitisha nyumbani kwake....mme alikasirika na kumkataa katakata mkewe....kwa busara tu shemeji mtu pia akakataa kwenda naye kwake na kushauri binti aende moja kwa moja Nyumbani kwa wazazi wake Morogoro na alikubali....mumewe alimfuata usiku wa manane Morogoro akiwa na matarajio ya kumkosa mkewe kule LAKINI kwa bahati nzuri alimkuta....kibaya zaidi amefanya fujo kwa wakwe na kumdhalilisha sana mwenzake aliyeoa dada mtu kwa kumtuhumu vitu kibao ikiwamo kum'do' mkewe. as am writting yuko kwa wakwe haongei na mtu amenuna tu...akifungua mdomo anasema apewe mkewe arudi naye dar....mkewe anagoma kwa kuhofia usalama wake....baba na mama mkwe wamekata tamaa...dada huyu yuko kwenye wakati mgumu sana anaomba ushauri afanye nini? waungwana ushauri wenu ni muhimu sana kuokoa maisha na ndoa ya huyu mdada...
    nawasilisha...
     
  2. C

    Caroline Danzi JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Aug 18, 2009
    Joined: Dec 19, 2008
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    Jamani ukistaajabu ya Musa utaona ya filauni. Huyu bwana hofu yangu akili yake siyo nzuri akapimwe ili ijulikane.

    Kwa uzoefu wangu mdogo huyu bwana ana wivu uliokithiri, hata huyo bibie akirudi kwake mambo ni yale yale kama hataki dadas na mume mwenza kwenda kwake wageni wa kawawida atawakubali.

    Hii ni issue mwambie dada asali sana akimuombea mumewe kubadili tabia maana siyo maisha.
     
  3. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Aug 18, 2009
    Joined: Jan 11, 2007
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    ...dalili hizi,

    ...na hizi,

    ...pamoja na hizi,

    ...huyo jamaa ana dalili zote za 'kaugonjwa ka akili', ObsessiveĀ–Compulsive Personality Disorder.

    Mwanamke kama anataka salama yake, aombe talaka na restraining order. Hakuna amani katika ndoa hiyo.
     
  4. StaffordKibona

    StaffordKibona JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Aug 18, 2009
    Joined: Apr 21, 2008
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    lakini msimthumu sana kuwa ana wivu. "You never know with a woman" -James hadley Chase
     
  5. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Aug 18, 2009
    Joined: May 30, 2008
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    Huyu bibi harusi ana bahati sana na amshukuru Mungu wake kuwa pamoja na kufanya kosa kubwa sana kukutana na mtu na kuoana naye katika kipindi kifupi cha miezi sita - ameweza kuona true colours mapema hivi!
    Nitamshauri aachane na huyu mtu haraka sana na asifikiri mara mbili.Hivi vituko angeviona tu kama angejipa muda kumstudy huyu jamaa na si ajabu asingekubali kuoana naye.Iwapo ataendelea kuishi naye basi ajiandae kwa makubwa zaidi yanayoweza kumpeleka ama kaburini ama jela.
     
  6. BelindaJacob

    BelindaJacob JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Aug 18, 2009
    Joined: Nov 24, 2008
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    Huyo dada anataka kuokoa maisha au ndoa? kama maisha, basi aachane na mumewe na kama ni ndoa basi arudi kwa mumewe japokuwa ni hatari kwa jinsi reaction za mwanaume zilivyoelezwa na wewe mleta mada na hakika hataacha mana usikute ndo alivyo.
     
  7. C

    Caroline Danzi JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Aug 18, 2009
    Joined: Dec 19, 2008
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    Unajua watu tunafanya mchezo na maisha, mapenzi ya miezi sita na kuoana mliyaona wapi? Hizi njaa za kuolewa na kuoa zinatusababisha watoto wa mtaani kuwa wengi kwa sababu ya makosa ya wazazi.

    Fikiria kama huyu dada ana mimba na mumewe ameonyesha kurukwa akili mapema yote what will it happen zaidi ya kumsumbua mtoto na kumkosesha uelekeo? Wanaume na wanawake ambao hamjaolewa, kuweni makini, hata kama una kiu ya mke au mume basi muombe Mungu wako akupe mtu mwenye hekima na busara, muombee ndoa zenu na urafiki wenu. Siku hizi talaka zimekuwa nyingi kuliko wagonjwa wa ukimwi, tuogope nini ukimwi au kuachika.

    Tuchunge sana, we need to pray to our family.
     
  8. Kaizer

    Kaizer JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Aug 18, 2009
    Joined: Sep 16, 2008
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    nina shaka kama mianaume ya namna hiyo kama inaweza kumpa mtu mimba...daaamn
     
  9. l

    libidozy Member

    #9
    Aug 18, 2009
    Joined: Jul 16, 2009
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    Nina wasiwasi huyo jamaa atakuwa mmachame tuu!te te teh
     
  10. Kaizer

    Kaizer JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Aug 18, 2009
    Joined: Sep 16, 2008
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    ohooo....:eek:
     
  11. RealTz77

    RealTz77 JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Aug 18, 2009
    Joined: May 18, 2009
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    huyo jamaa anatakiwa awe peke yake maishani, tena jina litolewe akina dada wakimwona wakimbie mbio mbaya, hafai, wivu gani huo? duh si ataua mtu one day?
     
  12. Zogwale

    Zogwale JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Aug 18, 2009
    Joined: Jul 10, 2008
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    Ushauri mwepesi tu ni kwamba, kwa wale ambao bado wanategemea kungia maisha ya ndoa, please get time to know the kind of a person yo expect to live with for the rest of your life (ndiyvo inavyotakiwa). Na muda huo not less than a year kama marafiki tu and not wachumba. Usiwe na haraka, kama ni mumu/mke atakuwa tu. Ukiona mtu anakuharakisha kufanya maamuzi ya ndoa mapema sana, uwe mwepesi kumchunguza sana, lazima kuna jambo.

    Kwa huyu dada, pole sana. Ila kwa ufupi kama mume mwenyewe ni kama tulivyopata kwa ufupi, ni kuachana naye. Akirudi Dar atammaliza, tena na kisu kile kile akipendacho. Huyo mume ana roho ya kuua, anataka amwage damu. Mwambieni kabisa atulie na Mungu atampatia mume mwingine, ila apate fundisho kuwa wachumba wa mda mfupi ni hatari. Ni case chache ambazo huwa ni za muda mfupi na ina work out!!!

    Ndoa za siku hizi jamani, ni kazi. Wanawake wengi kwa idadi, sasa nako tamaa ya kuolewa hata within a week!! Enzi hizo kwanza wanawake ni wachache, na kama ulimtaka msomi ni mpaka uanze kumfuatilia tangu akiwa secondary na anajulikana mnapelekana we kama mtamaliza chuo na kupata ajira (Makampuni yalikuwa yanakuja chuo kueleza sera uli tuweze kuzichagua i.e kujinadi kupata wafanyakazi!!!!) basi mnaoana, and here not less than 10 years (6<X<10).
     
  13. V

    Vakwavwe JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Aug 18, 2009
    Joined: May 16, 2009
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    ahsante wandugu kwa ushauri...samahani sikuwepo hewani kwa muda wote wa mchana .... mimi ni rafiki wa karibu na shemeji mtu(mtu hapa reffers to bibi harusi aliyekutwa na haya). tumefanya upaparazi na kugundua kuwa huyu bwana harusi aliwahi kuugua ugonjwa wa akili na akashindwa kumaliza secondary akaishia form3...YOTE HAYA BIBI HARUSI HAKUYAJUA. though alipona kabisa na kuwa mcha Mungu mzuri sana kwa nje. amekuwa akiendelea na kazi zake za kila siku bila matatizo....lakini sasa inaonekana wivu wa mapenzi umetrigger nut zake kwenye ubongo...sasa nasikia ameanza kutishia maisha ya shemeji mtu kwa kusema atakiona cha moto....Nawasikitikia sana hata hawa wakwe bado hadi leo wako naye ndani wanashindwa la kumfanya...mimi ningemtoa hata kwa msaada wa polisi kwa kweli....
    this is very serious,tunachojifunza kwenye kisa hiki ni kwamba watu mnaotaka kuoa/kuolewa muombeni Mungu awape mke/mme mwema na sio kuomba mme/mke tu. Hata kwa waliookoka,kuna kenge wengi miongoni mwa mamba kwenye makanisa...nawashauri kama mwanandoa watulie na wachunguzane mapema kuliko kujitia madoa kama hivi....huyu dada sasa tayari anakuwa mtu aliyeolewa na kuachika ambayo ni status mbaya sana..though ni muhimu sana aachane na huyu bwana akaanze upya...
     
  14. B

    Bulesi JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Aug 18, 2009
    Joined: May 14, 2008
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    Nakubaliana na wewe, huyu bwana ni mgonjwa hafai kukaa na huyu mke. Ndugu mkifanya makosa ya huyu mama kurudi kwa huyu bwana mjue mmemua ndugu yenu!
     
  15. M

    Mwanazuoni Member

    #15
    Aug 18, 2009
    Joined: Nov 12, 2008
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    Nakubaliana nawe ila with a reservation,

    Ni kweli tunatakiwa kumfahamu vema mtu kabla ya kuoana naye lakini tusisitize issue ya muda kama ndio inaweza sana kumsaidia mtu katika hili. wako watu wamechunguzana kwa miaka mingi na bado walipoingia kwenye ndoa wamekutana na suprise nyingi tu ambazo hawakuzitegemea.

    Mimi ninaamini kuwa kama mtu akitulia na Mungu kwa habari ya mke/mume hata kama ni kwa mwezi mmoja unaweza kuingia kwenye ndoa ukiwa na ufahamu wa kutosha kuhusu mwenzako na usikutane na matatizo. nadhani ushauri mzuri ni ule wa mtu kumtegemea Mungu zaidi kwa habari ya mwenza badala ya kutanguliza tamaa na creteria zetu zisizofaa na zisizoona mbali wala sirini.

    Wako watu wamekutana kwa mara ya kwanza na wakachumbiana na kuona within six months na huwezi amini wanavyoishi vizuri na kwa amani without suprizes za ajabu. Issue is doing the right thing with God's timing and approval hasa kwenye vitu kama hivi vinavyodefine our destine and joy in life.

    Bwana Yesu awape neema wala ambao munajipnga kuingia eneo hili
     
  16. M

    MzalendoHalisi JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Aug 18, 2009
    Joined: Jun 24, 2007
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    Kama ameshapata mimba je iweje?
     
  17. L

    Ledwin JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Aug 18, 2009
    Joined: Oct 9, 2007
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    tena hata wakwe hapo wawe makini anaweza kuwaua,huyu si mzima kabisa,mimi nmfahamu kaka mmoja naye anavitabia vya wivu mbaya sana,amemdhuru mke wake vibaya,please huyo amuache.
     
  18. PhD

    PhD JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Aug 20, 2009
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    Fitaaa ni fitaaa mura......
     
  19. PhD

    PhD JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Aug 20, 2009
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    Fita ni fita mura
     
  20. kimatire

    kimatire JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Aug 20, 2009
    Joined: Nov 27, 2008
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    Hili siyo janga kwani lina mganga.Ni kweli yametokea hata hapo siku za nyuma niliwahi kuwa best man wa harusi ya bwana mmoja ambaye alioa kwa staili hiyo hiyo.Kumbe bibi harusi alikuwa na mimba ya shemeji yake aliyekuwa anakaa naye.

    Jamaa alinijia siku tatu baada ya harusi na kunieleza mkasa huo,Ilitumika busara ya kiutu uzima maadaamu bibie alikubali yaishe akatoa mimba,maisha yakaendelea hadi leo hii wako na watoto watatu ndoa imara.Kosa kutenda kosa na kulikataa!!!!Kukubali yaishe na muishi maisha ya heri ni bora zaidi.
     
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