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Mwenzenu nalia, naomba msaada!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Evarm, Nov 1, 2011.

  1. Evarm

    Evarm JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Nov 1, 2011
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    Ninalia hadi sauti yanikauka yote haya ni sababu ya mapenzi. Ni dada ambaye nipo kwenye uhusiano kwa mwaka wa nne sasa na mchumba wangu. Nampenda sana, ni mwanaume wangu wa kwanza lakini jumamosi ya juzi amenifanyia kitu mbaya sana kila nikumbukapo naona ni bora niwe mwenyewe kwani Mungu kanijalia kazi nzuri tu ambapo napata mahitaji yangu yote bila ya msaada wa mtu yeyote. Nipo naye mbali ingawa kwangu mimi si mbali hata kidogo sababu kila wikiendi naweza kwenda huko alipo na pia Dar ni nyumbani (tunafanya kazi mikoa tofauti yeye yupo Dar).

    Hivi karibuni alikuja kunitembelea hapa kwangu ninapoishi tukapiga stori/tukala na kufurahi na baadaye nikaweka filamu fulani tukawa tunaangalia. Na ndio hapa yote yalipoanza, simu yake ikaanza kuita imeita kwa mara ya kwanza hakupokea, ilipoita kwa mara ya pili nikamwambia pokea simu mbona inaita. Akapokea, akaanza kuongea na huyo mtu (ni dada). Alivyokuwa anaongea huyo dada alikuwa anamlalamikia, halafu akasema anaumwa, mchumba akamuuliza umetumia dawa? Pia akasema bado kuna tatizo mchumba akamuuliza tatizo ni vocha? Akajibu hapana ila kuna tatizo, mchumba akakata simu. (sikuwa na uwezo wa kusikia yote yanayoongelewa na mdada)

    Muda si mrefu (baada ya dakika kama moja) yule dada akapiga tena akamwambia kwanin anamkatia simu? (muda wote huo nimesimamisha filamu ili yeye aongee maana yake hataki kelele yoyote) wakaendelea na maongezi (sikuwa na uwezo wa kusikia yote) huku mimi nasikiliza baadhi ya maneno lakini huyu dada alikuwa analalamika sana. Alipomaliza nikamuuliza ulikuwa unaongea na nani? Mchumba akanidanganya ya kuwa ni mfanyakazi mwenzie wa kazini, mi nikajibu si kweli kwani analalamika sana, pia ile idara anayofanyia kazi ni wanaume watupu (ni engineer wa kampuni Fulani Dar).

    Mara ya tatu akapiga huyu dada wakaongea tena huku mimi nimekaa hapo pembeni, roho yangu ilikuwa inauma sana sababu nilikuwa naona ni hawara yake kwa jinsi alivyokuwa mchumba anaongea, nikakaa zangu kimya. Mchumba akamkatia tena simu

    Haijapita hata dakika dada huyu akapiga, nikamnyangÂ’anya simu mchumba na kuongea na huyo dada. Akaniambia anataka kuongea na mwenye simu, mm nikajibu amelala (Mungu nisamehe nilidanganya) kwani ana shida gani? Yule dada akasema siwezi kukuambia shida zangu wewe nipe niongee na Abu. Akaniuliza kwani wewe ni nani yake? Mimi nikajibu ni gf wake, akasema nipe niongee na mchumba wangu huyo! Nikamuuliza mmekuwa kwenye mahusiano kwa muda gani? Akanijibu hyo si kazi yangu kujua, yeye shida yake ni kuongea na Abu. Nikakata simu.

    Nikamrudishia simu na akazima kabisa na mchumba hakuwa na amani hata kidogo. Hapo ndio nikaanza kumhoji huyo ni nani yake akajibu ni rafiki wa dada yake anayeitwa Tuma (hapa nalidanganywa sababu ni tofauti na aliponijibu mwanzoni), nikamuuliza huyu dada umekuwa kwenye mahusiano naye tokea lini akajibu tokea katikati ya mwaka huu.

    Roho imeniuma sana nakawa naona uchungu wa hali ya juu. Wanaume si waaminifu hata kidogo. Nililia kama mtoto mdogo, nikatoka nje huku nalia. Nikakaa huko baada ya dakika kumi nikarudi, nikamwambia mchumba naomba aendelee mahusiano na huyo dada, aniache mimi. Alinisihi sana nisifanye hivyo ila sikuwa radhi.

    NB: Kumbuka ya kuwa anafanya hivyo huku akiwa nyumbani kwangu yaani hapa ninapoishi, yaani nahisi alinidharau kupita kiasi.

    Nikamuomba yeye alale chumba kile na mimi nilale chumba kingine, akalia sana huku akiomba msamaha ya kuwa nimsamehe na hatorudia tena. Lakini roho yangu yaniambia hii si kweli kwani alishawahi kunicheat mara kadhaa huko nyuma na nilimsamehe kwa yote, lakn sina amani nae tena, wala raha nae kama zamani.

    Mchumba aliendelea kuomba msamaha huku akisema yupo tayari afanye lolote nitakalosema, nilimjibu inabidi akae chini na kuamua ni nani anayempenda kati ya mimi au huyo dada, yeye alijibu hamtaki huyo dada nikamwambia inabidi ampigie simu huyo dada na kumwambia ukweli. Alipowasha simu ikaingia msg kutoka kwa yule dada ya kuwa anataka kuhakikishiwa kutoka kwa mchumba ya kuwa yale aliyoongea nami ni kweli, muda si mrefu yule dada akapiga simu, mchumba akapokea akajibu ya kuwa ni kweli yule dada alisikitika sana. Asubuhi yake alipanda basi la kurudi huko Dar.

    J3 nikamwambia mm sina amani naye tena naona ni bora niachane nae, mchumba akajibu hayo ni maamuzi ya haraka nikae kwa muda wa wiki moja halafu nimpe jibu kamili ya kuwa nimeamua nini kati ya kuachana nae au kuendelea na haya mahusiano.

    Wapendwa sina raha juu ya hili tukio lililonitokea jumamosi ya juzi mida ya jioni. Nimevumilia mengi sana. Nahisi kama ataendelea kunicheat kama huko mwanzo aliweza na hata sasa ameweza nahisi atakuwa anaendelea tu kwani yawezekana ana wanawake wengi.

    Nahitaji mawazo yenu, ushauri kuhusiana na huyu mchumba kwani nakosa amani, nakonda kila leo nikikumbuka hili.
     
  2. arabianfalcon

    arabianfalcon JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Nov 1, 2011
    Joined: Oct 19, 2010
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    pole sana shosti,wanaume wengine sijui kwanini wanakua na tabia mbaya sijui uwape nini mpaka waridhike,mie naona kama umeshamsamehe vyakutosha na roho yako imeshasema basi nibora uachane nae sababu mpenzi anaekupenda kikweli hakufanyi maudhi umemsamehe mara moja ya pili anatakiwa na yeye awe muungwana,sasa kabla haja kuletea maradhi nibora ukipange wako wengine wasio kua na adhabu kama zake....
     
  3. Evarm

    Evarm JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Nov 1, 2011
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    Asante arabian......, sioni raha tena ya kuwa na hawa watu, maana yake mmmh.......... Mungu anisaidie
     
  4. b

    beware Member

    #4
    Nov 1, 2011
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    achana nae anakutumia angekuwa anakupenda asingeonge mbele yako kaonyesha dharau ya hali ya juu
     
  5. Preta

    Preta JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Nov 1, 2011
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    dah...pole sana.....ningekuwa na uwezo ningekuazima roho yangu....ina mashokabzoba mpaka raha.....
    ila kama imetokea juzi juzi jumamosi....hebu jipe muda wa kutafakari....maamuzi ya harakaharaka si mazuri....yanaweza kukugharimu.........
     
  6. Edson

    Edson JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Nov 1, 2011
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    pole sana.....lakini dada leo nimekuona unachangia baadhi ya post na kutoa ushauri kumbe na wewe ni muhanga?!!!


    hebu usikilize moyo wwako...we usikilize tu huo utakupa jibu
     
  7. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Nov 1, 2011
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    nina ndugu zangu wawili wote wanaitwa ABU..na kesi ni hizo hizo

    majina mengine bana.....
     
  8. Evarm

    Evarm JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Nov 1, 2011
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    Ni kweli mkuu ni kazi na JF (kuwashauri watu) ndio vinaniweka busy ili niweze sahau masahibu yalonikuta ila nikiwa lonely hii picha yajirudia mara kwa mara na kujikuta nalia peke yangu chumbani, na kukosa raha muda wote!
     
  9. M

    Muna Kundya Member

    #9
    Nov 1, 2011
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    pole sana rafiki, u have 2be patient and tolerant on that la sivo utaumia sana.most of the men si wakweli and on that,,, cure is better than treatment. uamuzi sahihi uko kwenye mikono yako, kwa maana mustakabali mzima wa maisha yako uko kwako. love is one BIG ELUSION my dear,you're not alone on that sircumstance but only u have 2 choose da best way.si kila king'aacho ni dhahabu, na si kila chakula waweza kula.mi naamini riziki hupanga mwenyezi na kuzigawa kwa waja wake.itaweza chelewa kwa mapito kama hayo yalo kutokea, na kufika pale mungu alipo kupangia.pole sana. Pray to God.
     
  10. Chatumkali

    Chatumkali JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Nov 1, 2011
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    Pole sana!Kama maelezo yako ni sahihi inaonyesha wewe ni mwanamke mwenye msimamo na unaejitambua.Pia inaonyesha Abu si mwaminifu katika mahusiano yenu<na hapa namsikitikia maana naona kama anachezea fursa>.Hata hivyo nakushauri ufanye yafuatayo:

    1.Msamehe tena maana binadamu si wakamilifu
    2.Zungumza nae kwa kina juu ya umuhimu na matarajio ya mahusiano yenu<waweza kuwashirikisha jamaa zake wa karibu pia>
    3.Baada ya hayo yote muweke chini ya uangalizi
    4.Akiendeleza chenga waweza fikiria vinginevyo
     
  11. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Nov 1, 2011
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    Pole saana kwa shock; ila ngoja nikwambia jinsi nilivyoishi maisha yangu ya ujana; Sikuwa na msamaha wala uvumilivu na the so called boyfriend wala mchumba; na imenisaidia kupata mume ambaye naweza kusema ni right for me and am not regreting my 8 years of marriage.

    Kama ameanza cheating mkiwa wachumba mwanawane huyo atakuwa analala nje kabisa akikuoa am telling you; people rarely change.

    Na kingine kilichonifanya nisiwe na msamaha na hao ma boyfriend (sijawahi kuwa na wachumba zaidi ya mume wangu ila angenichiti ningepiga chini fasta) ni kwa kuwa mtu huwezi jua nani kati yenu anadanganywa. Hata wewe hapo ulipo yawezekana kabisa ukawa "the other woman" ndo maana mwenzio akawa na confidence ya kukujibu hovyo.

    Nyie ambao hamjaolewa mko huru kuchagua what is best for you na kupiga mtu chini ni very easy kwani hamna mkataba wowote.

    Nilimwachaga boyfriend wangu baada ya kumuona AMESIMAMA na msichana kimahaba; jamaa hakuamini na mpaka kesho anasema eti nilikutana na mapedeshee ndo maana nikamuacha kwani hakuona kuwa ilikuwa ni sababu ya msingi (but it was maana walivyokuwa wamesimama hakukuwa na mjadala alikuwa anamega). Sikumpa hata muda wa kujieleza maana najua wanaume wana mashairi ya kutupumbaza. BUT the truth ni kuwa nilipiga chini wakati sikuwa na hata ninayemuwazia kichwani na nilikaa single for a year ndo nikaanza dating my hubby.

    Na my way of reasoning ni kuwa wanaume wengi ni wepesi wa kuchiti wakiwa kwenye ndoa kwa kuwa kuna kuzoeana na kind of kuchokana; Sasa hainijii akilini mwanaume anaye mchiti girlfriend ambaye wanaonana kwa msimu. Hence nilipokuwa naona boyfriend anachiti nili conclude kuwa he is not into me. Sasa ya nini kumganda mtu ambaye penzi langu alijampagawisha. Hence I would rather wait for a man who was meant for me.
     
  12. Evarm

    Evarm JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Nov 1, 2011
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    1. Nilitaka niongee na mama yake kuhusiana na hili lakini roho yangu imesita kwani hawa ni watu wa Tanga wana maneno sana ni mimi sipendi kujibishana/kuzozana.
    2. Siwezi kumuweka chini ya uangalizi kwani mimi nipo nje ya dar sidhani kama marafiki zake watakubali kumchunguza au kuniambia nyendo za rafiki yao huyu cz sijawazoea kihivyo.
     
  13. kisukari

    kisukari JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Nov 1, 2011
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    pole mwee.sijui hata niseme nini.ukimpenda mtu,kuachana nae hapo kwa hapo ni ngumu.ila kwa kuwa sio mara ya kwanza ku cheat,huyo mtu hatoacha kwa kuambiwa mpaka aamue mwenyewe.mkiwa mbali ndio kabisaaaa
     
  14. Shapu

    Shapu JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Nov 1, 2011
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    Aisee mulika mwizi...
     
  15. RGforever

    RGforever JF-Expert Member

    #15
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    kama wanawake wangekuwa ka we, Dunia isingekalika.
     
  16. C

    Caroline Danzi JF-Expert Member

    #16
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    Ukiona manyoya ujue kaliwa! unasubiri nini. Anzisha safari mpya hapo huna chako shost!
     
  17. C

    Caroline Danzi JF-Expert Member

    #17
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    hahahah! majina mengine uchuro!! kimyaaaaa!
     
  18. Evarm

    Evarm JF-Expert Member

    #18
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    Inabidi sasa niwe kama nyumba kubwa maana magonjwa ni mengi sana siku hizi kama mwenzi sio mwaminifu, naona hii ndio solution ya tatizo langu. Sidhani kama nimeumbwa wa kulia/kucheatiwa kila siku! I deserve the best.
     
  19. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

    #19
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    Kwa wale ambao neno uaminifu hawajuhi lina maana gani.

     
  20. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Nov 1, 2011
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    ...uchungu wa mapenzi hauwezi kuupata maishani mpaka uwe kwenye mapenzi.
    Trust ikishaondoka kwenye mapenzi, ngumu sana kuirudisha...

    ...la kujiuliza ni does he worth that pain you are going through?
    kama jibu ni ndio, tafuta ya kujiliwaza maisha yaendelee, la sivyo..
    taratibu anza ku unplug cable moja baada ya nyingine; [​IMG]
    Bahati mbaya, maisha ya sasa uongo umekuwa mwingi sana,
    kwa mtazamo wangu, 'dalili za mvua,....'
     
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